On Thursday I went to the post office, hoping to get something from the

    unemployment office or the insurance company. See, my apartment caught fire

    a week after I lost my job. I''d been living in a motel room for the past

    five days, waiting for my renter''s insurance check to come. In the

    meantime, I paid for the motel on a credit card that was dangerously close

    to its limit.

    Well, I didn''t get anything from the insurance company, but the

    unemployment office sent a letter telling me my claim had been denied. I

    had the right to file an appeal and could expect a hearing in three to four

    weeks.

    I suppose I could''ve counted my blessings. Like the fact that I *had*

    renter''s insurance. Or that even though almost all of my material

    possessions went up in the fire I''d managed to save my laptop, so I could

    But really, optimism will only get you so far. And that''s why Dominic found

    me standing in front of the post office, sobbing into my sleeve.

    "Matt?" I looked up at the sound of my name and there he stood, Dominic

    Mirani, my old college roommate. "Dude, are you okay?" I wiped my face.

    "Dominic!"

    "Yeah man," he said, smiling wide. We locked palms. "It''s been..."

    "Way too long," I said, and pulled him in for a hug. He looked better than

    I remembered – a little thicker around the middle, maybe, but virile.

    His dark hair was cropped in a messy, s.e.xy way, and he had a thick beard.

    "What are you up to?"

    "Just...crying on the street."

    "Want to get a coffee and talk about it?" We didn''t get a block before it

    all came spilling out of me – the research study I''d been working for

    that lost its funding, my idiot downstairs neighbor who smoked in bed.

    Dominic listened, and as I spoke I began to realize that he was exactly the

    person I needed right then. We''d been close in college. He knew things

    about me, like how I didn''t have any family in the area.

    "You''re coming with me," he said. "We''ve got an extra room; you can stay

    with us till you get back on your feet."

    "''We''?" I said.

    "Yeah me and Jamie. My girlfriend. We have a house together."

    I tried to protest, conditioned as I was to feel guilty about needing

    something, to reflexively resist any type of assistance. Dominic was

    insistent. "Stop. You''re coming with me," he said, leading me to his car,

    staring back to let me know that there wasn''t any room for debate. I have

    to say, this dominance: it turned me on a little.

    ***

    Dominic Mirani. We shared a dorm room our first year of college, through

    random placement. We didn''t hit it off at first. Dominic was a jock, and I

    lobbied for a leadership position in our school''s gay/straight alliance.

    I never got the sense that he disliked me. Nor did I dislike him. We just

    kept to our opposite tracks.

    Then came Christmas break. We both stayed on campus, which is how I found

    out Dominic had been raised by his grandparents, who lived in Arizona and

    didn''t have the money to send him home. I told him how I''d lost my own

    parents at a young age, and that shared intimacy – plus the fact that

    campus was dead and we only had one another for company – made something

    click.

    he realized I was an actual person and not some token gay stereotype. When

    the spring semester started we continued on our separate hamster wheels,

    but began dipping our toes into one another''s world. He came to a few GSA

    meetings. I started playing volleyball with his frat and discovered an

    inner jock I''d never knew existed. I liked the competition, the

    physicality. The frat boy eye candy didn''t detract from the experience,

    either.

    And if I was being honest with myself, Dominic was some primo eye candy

    himself. He was half-Italian, half-Scandinavian; tall, dark and handsome

    We got an apartment together that summer, and that went well, so we wound

    up finding another place together in the fall. As our friendship deepened I

    began to sense an attraction from his end, too. It seemed to come from his

    curious nature – he was always grilling me for my opinion, interviewing

    me about things. We never did anything explicitly s.e.x.u.a.l with each other,

    but a couple moments stand out.

    One night, I was in my room studying when Dominic poked his head around my

    door.

    "Can I borrow your protractor?" he said.

    "I don''t know," I said, being a jag for the fun of it. Dominic opened the

    door wider, so I could see his whole self framed in the doorway.

    "What do you want me to do for it?" he said. I don''t know if it was the way

    he asked it, or if I was just horny, but I got blunt.

    "Show me your d.i.c.k," I said. I''d never seen Dominic n.a.k.e.d. Even in the dorm

    we''d been careful to undress out of each other''s line of sight. So I was

    surprised when he hooked his thumbs in the band of his sweatpants and slid

    them down his t.h.i.g.hs revealing his heavy, hairy,

    flaccid-yet-succulent-looking c.o.c.k. I just smiled and handed him the

    protractor. He pulled his sweatpants back up. "Thanks," he said, and

    laughed. I laughed too and he left the room and that was that. We never

    talked about it, but it made me wonder what else he would do if I asked.

    And I''d had *no* idea he was so well hung.

    I guess it was after that that I''d catch little comments he would make,

    usually when we were drunk.

    "I''d make out with a guy," he said one night. "I mean, what''s the big

    deal?" Another time he told me about jacking off with a friend of his in

    middle school.

    "Did you guys touch each other?" I said.

    "No but I might have, if he''d asked. I probably would''ve done more with him

    if he''d been into it...I mean, we were just kids, it was all in fun."

    By then we''d been living with one another for over two years. My l.u.s.t for

    him was at an all-time high, but I was scared. I chalked up his comments to

    his horny, reckless past – as something he''d never try again.

    Plus his bedroom door revolved quite steadily for girls. Most only stuck

    around for a night, a few for a month or two, but never anything more

    serious.

    The closest Dominic and I ever came to messing around was one night when he

    came home drunk from a frat party. I was up late working on a huge project

    that was due the next day. He poked his head in my room to say goodnight,

    but a few minutes later he came back in my room and flopped onto my bed.

    He''d changed his clothes and was wearing a sleeveless shirt and athletic

    shorts that left very little to my imagination.

    "Working hard, huh?" he said, stretching out on his back. I turned my chair

    toward him. He had his arms above his head, making his shirt ride up his

    flat, hairy stomach. The thin shorts clung to the tube of his c.o.c.k, hanging

    like a delicious fruit between his thick t.h.i.g.hs. "I''m drunk," he said. "And

    horny. Remember Lauren?"

    "The volleyball chick?"

    "Yeah. She was making out with me all night. Then her boyfriend showed up."

    "That''s unfortunate," I said.

    "She had her hands down my shorts," he said, and, as if to ill.u.s.trate,

    slowly slipped his hand under his shorts, cupping his d.i.c.k. "She got me so

    hard," he said.

    I had a sharp feeling of l.u.s.t and anxiety. This was it. All I had to do was

    ask – something like "How hard? Show me." Or "Want some help?" But I

    didn''t. I couldn''t. I was paralyzed by fear – fear of rejection, fear of

    f.u.c.k.i.n.g up our friendship. So I changed the subject, blabbed about my

    project. In no time he''d taken his hand out of his shorts and we were back

    on solid, boring ground. I think we were both relieved – and maybe

    disappointed, too.

    He got his first real college girlfriend shortly after that, and he wound

    up moving in with her that fall. Our friendship ebbed after that. I''d

    always assumed it was because of the girlfriend but now; sitting next to

    him in his car, our easy rapport picking up right where it''d been left off;

    I wondered if I''d distanced myself from him as much as I assumed he''d

    distanced himself from me.

    ***

    We drove out of the city, over the bridge and through the tunnel. Soon we

    pulled in front of his house – a little two-story on a tree-lined

    street.

    "You can come right up but I''ll need you to hang out in the guest room for

    a minute while I talk to Jamie."

    "Uh...can we call her first? I feel weird just barging in like this."

    "Nah, it''s cool. I just need to talk to her for a minute, it''s nothing." I

    felt clandestine as we entered the back door and he ushered me quietly up

    the steps to the guest room. The house didn''t look like a guy lived there –

    there were "Friends" DVDs on the shelf, vases filled with potpourri on the

    table and Anne Geddes posters on the walls.

    I lay uneasily on the duvet, listening: a female voice, pitched. I stood up

    and gathered my stuff, ready to book. But just as I was about to leave they

    started up the steps.

    "Matt?" Dominic said in the doorway. "Meet my girlfriend." She came around

    – a tall, dark-haired girl with an unattractive, glowering face. She

    managed half a grin as I shook her hand.

    "Nice to meet you," I said. She nodded. "It''s kind of you to let me invade

    your space like this. I hope it''s okay, I don''t intend to stay long."

    "It''s fine," Dominic said, looking at Jamie. Jamie took a deep breath.

    "Look, I''m sure you''re a nice guy..." she said. I braced myself. She spoke

    in a rush, talking about how it was unexpected, how she wasn''t used to

    having her life disrupted like this but as long as it wasn''t for very long,

    and maybe I could help clean up – like the bathroom, or something. As

    she spoke her eyes met the floor, the ceiling, the window behind me –

    seemingly everywhere but my own eyes.

    "Really, I''d be fine going back to the motel," I said.

    "No," she said, finally glancing in my direction, smiling a big smile like

    a Venus flytrap ensnaring me with phantom hospitality.

    Dominic came to my room later that night. "Dude, I''m sorry if that was

    awkward," he said.

    "What''s up with her?" I said.

    "Nothing," he said, getting defensive. "What do you mean?"

    "I''m sorry. It just seems like she doesn''t want me here but doesn''t want to

    admit it."

    "No dude, she''s totally cool with it. Everything''s totally fine."

    He made stew that night and invited me downstairs for the most

    uncomfortable dinner ever, full of forced jokes and protracted silences.

    Jamie barely looked at him, let alone me. It seemed clear that there were

    some major things going on underneath the surface. I told myself that my

    insurance check would come any day – maybe even tomorrow.

    It didn''t. I took a bus into the city to check and, dejected, took the long

    bus ride back to the exurbs. Luckily both of them were still at work. I

    hunkered down in the guest room, hunted for jobs online, took a nap. I woke

    to the sound of Jamie''s car in the driveway.

    I avoided dinner that night, sneaking out to the Arby''s down the street.

    When I got back I hightailed it upstairs. I heard them downstairs, arguing.

    The voices got louder – it was a major argument, and I was sure it was

    about me. I put on my headphones.

    Dominic came upstairs a little later. He sat on the bed next to me and lay

    back, putting his arm over his eyes.

    "Everything alright?" I said.

    "Yeah," he said, and took his arm away. He looked at me – a long, real

    look, devoid of the fa?ade that had been there yesterday.

    "Look, dude, I saw a friend of mine today when I was in the city," I lied.

    "If you ride me back in I think I can –"

    "Hey, it''s Friday," he said, apropos of nothing. He sat up.

    "Huh?" I said. He went to the closet.

    "Promise you''ll keep this a secret?" He reached inside the closet and

    pulled out a bottle of whiskey. I smiled. Whiskey had always been Dominic''s

    drink. With one eye on the bedroom door he took a swig, then handed to it

    to me. I did the same. He put the bottle back in the closet. "Let''s wait

    till Jamie goes to sleep. We''ll play some video games, have a few

    drinks..." I told him that sounded good to me.

    He popped in the room a few hours later, just as I was starting to feel

    like a flower in the attic. He headed straight for the closet and I

    smiled. With no job or real life to speak of, I had every intention of

    getting shit faced.

    We played Mario Kart, passing the bottle. It only took a few swigs before

    Dominic''s fa?ade eroded.

    "She drives me crazy sometimes," he said. "Well, all the time anymore. It

    used to be okay because the s.e.x was good. But we don''t even do that

    anymore." He passed me the bottle. "So you''re not seeing anybody?"

    "Nah. I broke up with a guy over a year ago," I said.

    "So you haven''t gotten much lately either."

    "Well I wouldn''t say that," I said.

    "Yeah? Who?"

    "I''ve got some f.u.c.k buddies," I said.

    "Anybody hot?"

    "Sure."

    "As hot as me?" he said. I scoffed.

    "Actually, no," I said. Dominic smiled, his eyes on the TV.

    "Dude, how come you never made a pass at me?"

    "Really?"

    "Yeah really. I''m not your type, or what?"

    "No, it''s not that. It''s just...well, we lived together. I didn''t want

    things to get weird. Plus you''re straight. Right?"

    "Remember that time I showed you my d.i.c.k?"

    "Yeah," I said. "You remember that too?"

    "Sure I remember it," Dominic said, his voice lowering. "I think about it

    sometimes. Did you ever jack off thinking about it?"

    "Yeah," I said, my heart rate increasing. "A couple of times."

    "I would''ve experimented with you," he said. "I used to think about it."

    "I did too."

    "It''s weird that it never happened."

    "I guess so."

    "I''d make out with you right now if you wanted." He looked at me. I said

    okay. He came to me and I to him and our lips met. Just a peck. He smiled

    and I smiled back. He rested his hand on my t.h.i.g.h and our faces met

    again. We kissed. He used his tongue so I used mine, and his hand went

    further up my leg so I put my hand on the back of his neck. The jaunty

    electronic pause music from Mario Kart went on as we made out, my hands

    traveling all over his body and his on mine. He pushed me back, on to the

    floor, and got on top of me. I could feel his c.o.c.k pressing against mine. I

    reached down to feel it.

    "God yes," he said, all breathy and deep in my ear. I switched positions,

    got him on his back. He helped me to undo his pants. Just as I was about to

    pull his zipper open we heard a creak in the hallway beyond the closed

    door. Our heads turned toward it and everything stopped. "It''s not her," he

    said.

    I took out his c.o.c.k – eight thick inches in a musky thatch of black

    pubes. I got into position and sunk my lips over it, taking it past my

    tongue and into my throat. "Yes, yes," Dominic said, "F.u.c.k it''s been too

    long since I''ve had head." I kept going, s.u.c.k.i.n.g and s.u.c.k.i.n.g. I played with

    his balls. His breath got faster, he started to m.o.a.n. "I''m gonna c.u.m," he

    said and moments later jets of hot load were bursting into my mouth. I

    swallowed all I could.

    "Dude," he said. His arm was over his eyes. I helped him get his pants back

    up. "Dude. That was some of the best head I''ve ever head."

    "I can''t believe that just happened," I said.

    "It''s been long overdue," he said.

    "Yeah," I said. "It''s cool right? I mean, we don''t have to do it again. We

    can still be friends and everything."

    "Yeah, man, definitely." He took a swig from the bottle, passed it to

    me. "I''m gonna take a shower and hit the sack," he said.

    I got in bed after he left the room. I felt confused, unsure of how things

    would be in the morning.

    I jacked off twice before I fell asleep.

    ***

    I had cereal with them that morning. Dominic seemed a little groggy but

    otherwise things felt normal. Jamie said "Hello" when I came downstairs and

    "Bye" when I left the house, which felt like progress.

    I took a bus into the city. No check. I printed out some resumes at the

    library and had lunch with a friend.

    They were in the yard when I got back, Dominic cutting the grass and Jamie

    in the garden. I went upstairs.

    A half hour later I heard the mower stop. Then Dominic knocked on my

    door. "Come in," I said. Dominic had this look on his face. "Hey man," I

    said, standing from the desk chair. He ambushed me, grabbing my waist and

    shoving his tongue into my mouth. It was shocking and totally hot. I

    grabbed his waist and pulled him close; he was sweaty and smelled like cut

    grass. His c.o.c.k was hard in his shorts. I dropped to my knees and pulled it

    out, taking it in my mouth. I s.u.c.k.e.d it down and pulled back up, dragging

    my tongue along the base of his salty shaft, fondling his nuts, urging the

    c.u.m out of them – I wanted it to flood my mouth.

    After a few minutes Dominic pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me

    from behind. He undid my belt and dropped my jeans to the floor. He slipped

    his prick in between my t.h.i.g.hs, nuzzling and kissing the sides of my

    neck. His hands were all over me as he pumped his d.i.c.k between my legs.

    "I want to f.u.c.k you," he said in my ear. "Can I f.u.c.k you tonight?" The

    window was right in front of us. I saw Jamie''s determined face as she

    yanked a weed and threw it to the side. Dominic stuck his tongue in my

    ear. "I need to f.u.c.k so bad. I need someone who wants it."

    "I want it," I said.

    "Oh f.u.c.k yes. Say it again."

    "I want you to f.u.c.k me. I want your d.i.c.k inside me." I heard the screen

    door open downstairs. I looked – Jamie wasn''t in the garden anymore.

    "Tonight," Dominic said, running his hand up my under my shirt, c.a.r.e.s.sing

    my c.h.e.s.t. "When she falls asleep."

    We all went in on a pizza that night and ate it in front of the TV. I kept

    looking at Jamie, chewing her slice and sipping her soda, eyes on a DVR''d

    episode of "Gray''s Anatomy." *I just had your boyfriend''s d.i.c.k in my

    mouth,* I thought.

    I looked at Dominic. He winked at me. Earlier when we''d been in the

    kitchen, getting plates for the pizza, he''d put his hands on my h.i.p.s – a

    fleeting contact that, quite bluntly, made my hole ache. It had been years

    since I''d been f.u.c.k.e.d and I hadn''t remembered how much I wanted that

    feeling of being taken, filled.

    While they finished watching the TV show I washed the dishes like a good

    guest. Dominic came in the kitchen behind me and pressed his h.i.p.s to my

    ass. I pushed back. He ran his hands up my c.h.e.s.t. I could feel his

    half-hard d.i.c.k against me.

    "Dominic?" Jamie said from the living room.

    "Yeah sweetie," Dominic said next to my ear. He licked my neck, nibbled it.

    "Can you bring me another pop?" she said. Dominic stepped to the side of me

    and slid down his shorts. His c.o.c.k bounded out, hung there at a

    ninety-degree angle. I took it in my soapy hand and stroked it. I got on my

    knees and took it in my mouth.

    "What kind do you want?" Dominic said as my lips slid down his c.o.c.k.

    "What kind do you think?" Jamie said. "The diet." I took his d.i.c.k all the

    way down my throat. He m.o.a.n.e.d quietly.

    "Comin right up," he said, pulling up his shorts. He pushed me against the

    sink and roughly grabbed my a.s.s, digging his fingers against my

    hole. "Soon," he said in my ear. Then he got the soda and went to join his

    girlfriend.

    I took a shower and retired to the guest room. It felt like an eternity

    before Dominic showed up. He left the door cracked. "She''s not asleep yet,"

    he said. He looked hot as f.u.c.k, wearing those jock pants that button down

    the sides of the leg so you can rip them off easily. "I told her we''re

    gonna play video games."

    We played Mario Kart for about an hour, occasionally making out and

    grabbing one another through our clothes. And talking about it.

    "I''ve always wanted to try anal s.e.x," he said.

    "Why?"

    "I don''t know. Seems like it would be tighter. Kinkier, too – like, more

    forbidden. I''ve never gotten to do it with a girl."

    "Did you think about f.u.c.k.i.n.g me when we lived together?"

    "Sometimes," he said. "Once I was really horny and I saw you in your

    u.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r."

    "What did you think?"

    "I thought you had a nice b.u.t.t. Like, objectively speaking. It was firm and

    round, like you did a lot of squats but I know you didn''t even work out

    back then. I wondered what it would look like bent over and spread wide for

    me. I imagined what my c.o.c.k would look like splitting into it."

    "You fantasized all that?"

    "Not fantasized...just thought. I remember it got me hard and I remember

    feeling weird about that." The game blooped and bleeped as we clicked our

    controllers. We heard Jamie turn off her TV. "Any minute now," Dominic

    said. "I used to think about how if I f.u.c.k.e.d you, I wouldn''t have to use a

    c.o.n.d.o.m."

    "You don''t have c.o.n.d.o.ms?"

    "No, I do. Do you want me to use one tonight?" I thought for a second.

    "No," I said.

    "Good. I want to feel my c.o.c.k sliding into you. I want to c.u.m inside you,

    too."

    He checked on Jamie and when he came back he quietly shut the door. I stood

    and we came together, kissing tenderly at first then getting more

    forceful. I ripped those pants right off of him. He pushed me to my knees

    and I s.u.c.k.e.d him. His nuts slapped against my chin as he f.u.c.k.e.d my face. I

    struggled to keep quiet which was difficult, even with Dom''s fat d.i.c.k

    plugging my throat.

    He tossed me on the bed and undressed me, l.i.c.k.i.n.g my body. He flipped me

    over onto my stomach and I was surprised when he spread my legs and began

    l.i.c.k.i.n.g around my a.s.s. Soon his tongue was sliding down my crack and

    slipping into my hole. I backed into his face and he dug his tongue deeper.

    From the closet he procured a tub of Vaseline and greased up his c.o.c.k, then

    my hole. I got on all fours on the bed – a.s.s spread for him just like

    he''d imagined. He got on his knees behind me. I felt his c.o.c.khead touch my

    hole and I clenched down, kissing it. Slowly, inch by inch, he slid it

    inside. It hurt but I''d anticipated that. I breathed, relaxed. When his

    pubes were finally pressed against my a.s.s I only wanted more.

    We f.u.c.k.e.d slowly and steadily. We communicated non-verbally, making little

    adjustments to our positions, accommodating one another. He picked up speed

    and in the quiet of the room I could hear his nuts slapping against my a.s.s

    with each thrust. I imagined Jamie in the cotton t-shirt and boy''s boxer

    shorts she''d worn to bed. I imagined her sleeping silently in the dark

    while one room away the lights were on and her boyfriend had bent over his

    friend and was f.u.c.k.i.n.g him in the a.s.s.

    "I''m gonna do it," he whispered. He was slapping away with long strokes,

    panting.

    "Me too," I said, matching him stroke for stroke with my hand on my c.o.c.k.

    "Ah!" he cried quietly, and the hot warmth of him shot inside me as I lost

    all control. Jets of jizz went streaming over Jamie''s lavender coverlet.

    When I woke on Sunday I realized that I''d never made it to the bathroom and

    Dominic''s c.u.m was still inside me.

    I felt fine; great even. It was an interesting feeling, giving the state of

    my life, but I decided to go with it.

    I took a shower and came downstairs, greeting Jamie with a cheery "Good

    morning" and helping myself to her coffee.

    "Good morning," she said, and left the kitchen. Dominic ambled downstairs a

    few minutes later, looking as relaxed as I felt. We smiled at one

    another. I heard Jamie flip on the TV in the living room. Dominic came up

    to me and wrapped his arm around my waist, giving me a tender kiss.

    I walked to McDonald''s that afternoon, got some coffee and internet. There

    was an email from the insurance company, a response to an inquiry I''d sent

    earlier that week, and learned my check had been mailed on Friday.

    When I got back to the house they were holding one another on the couch. I

    went upstairs. Dominic came up moments later.

    "I need it again, man," he said, shutting the door. He grabbed my hand and

    brought it to his c.o.c.k, which was hard.

    "Dude," I said, taking my hand away. He lay on top of me; slipped his hand

    behind my back and down my shorts, pressed a finger against my hole. "She''s

    right down there, we can''t."

    "She won''t come up," he said. He pressed his finger deeper and it slipped

    in – I was loosened up; turned out. I wanted him again too. We kissed,

    rough and sloppy. He pulled my shorts down around my t.h.i.g.hs and ate my a.s.s,

    getting it wet and ready for his d.i.c.k.

    He reared forward and pushed himself inside me, and god did it feel

    good. In no time he was pounding me again. He was stroking my d.i.c.k and I

    was thinking any minute now he''ll c.u.m and I''ll c.u.m and that''ll be that,

    this is crazy. But then, all of the sudden, he stopped.

    In dead silence he pulled out of me. I looked up and saw her. Honestly, she

    looked like a different person, her face a mask of shock and horror.

    "Jamie..." Dominic said. She looked at me.

    "Get out," she said.

    Orders obtained. I popped up and scooped my clothes into my bag. She

    watched me the entire time. Dominic slunk into himself against the wall.

    I was out the door before I even tied my shoes. I walked to the bus stop.

    Did it even run on Sunday? I had no idea. I figured I''d wait a while, call

    a cab if need be. Surely I had enough on my credit card for cab fare, and

    one more night in the motel. Surely.

    The End