CHAPTER 363: CHAPTER 362: MY OWN FAULT

"Not eating or cooperating doesn’t mean you win. If you truly want to stand up, then you need your courage and cooperation." Gu Xiaoqing cleaned the lunchbox and put it in the cupboard.

Fang Shaohan was already calm.

Perhaps he had eaten and drunk enough, as he now seemed a lot more agreeable, and his complexion wasn’t as dark.

"Can such a minor illness really defeat you? Fang Shaohan, you’re a grown man. If you can’t overcome even a little difficulty and setback, then why did you choose to be a cop in the first place? Your job inherently entails danger and consequences, which you knew full well yet you’re being stubborn now—it’s yourself you’re struggling with."

Fang Shaohan said nothing, so Gu Xiaoqing continued.

Anyway, neither of them feared the other now.

The facade of politeness that had kept their relationship in harmony seemed to have been thrown to the wind, as they faced each other with raw honesty, even cruelly poking at each other’s sore spots and tearing open each other’s wounds.

"It’s my own struggle. Why are you meddling? I don’t need you here. Who are you to me? You’re just a woman, one I don’t need. Leave, I don’t want to see you—I hate you." Fang Shaohan tried strenuously to shift his body, but controlling his legs and waist wasn’t as easy as he’d imagined.

He had lost control over his body, and this feeling made him more angry and helpless, so any harsh words could come out of his mouth with no regard for anyone’s feelings.

It seemed like only by hurting the other person could he find some form of release.

Gu Xiaoqing had a moment where she wanted to turn around and leave. Any woman spoken to like that by a man would walk away—who could tolerate such a blow to their dignity?

But she restrained herself; he wasn’t in an ideal state, and facing his physical injuries, he couldn’t accept it psychologically, resulting in behavioral deviations. She could only understand, but should she hold a grudge like him?

She grabbed Fang Shaohan’s hospital gown collar, and though her hand could only lift it a short distance, her momentum was not lost.

"Who am I to you? You have the nerve to ask that. Do you think anyone wants to serve a cripple here? You are nothing but a cripple—yes, right, you’re this kind of weak person who can only lie here and shout orders at me.

Clearly, there’s still a chance. The doctor has already said that you have an eighty percent chance of returning to normal if you rehab well. But acting so self-destructive now, how is that any different from a cripple?

If it wasn’t for you telling them to find me, do you think I’d be here? I myself have a ton of things to deal with, yet I drop everything to come and take care of you. So tell me, who am I to you, what should I be to you?"

Gu Xiaoqing pointed at Fang Shaohan’s forehead, criticizing fiercely.

She also felt deeply wronged; she had given so much, even making the greatest concession emotionally, yet this man questioned who she was to him.

What a laughable question.

But such a hurtful one.

Right.

Who was she to him?

Nothing.

They had never been anything to each other.

In that moment, Gu Xiaoqing truly wanted to leave Fang Shaohan.

"Don’t worry, I, as an outsider, a nonentity, will be leaving right away. Call your parents and find someone else to take care of you; I’m leaving right now. Even one more second, and I’m no longer Gu Xiaoqing."

Releasing Fang Shaohan’s collar, Gu Xiaoqing slammed the door shut and headed out.

Her inner anger surged to a peak; Gu Xiaoqing needed to calm down completely, having been angered by Fang Shaohan.

This Fang Shaohan really had the talent to turn people into raging beasts.

Sitting on the wooden chair on the lawn, as the cold wind blew, Gu Xiaoqing had already calmed down.

No one had infuriated her like this in a long time.

Gu Xiaoqing, who had always considered herself a mature adult, was experiencing the loss of reason for the first time.

No matter how mature and calm Fang Shaohan usually was, he was just a normal person, faced with the feeling of losing the ability to move. It’s understandable how he was affected, but that wasn’t an excuse for dragging everyone else into his state of despair.

No one can stand up for you; your dependency has to rely on yourself. Fang Shaohan, you must stand up for all those who love you, and for yourself.

Gu Xiaoqing wiped her eyes, where beyond faint moisture was her overwhelming heartache. She knew everything couldn’t return, yet she forged ahead anyway.

Because her heart remained here.

Gathering her emotions, Gu Xiaoqing returned to the ward.

Can you really hold a grudge against a patient?

The ward remained silent.

Fang Shaohan lay there, covered with a blanket, eyes closed; it was uncertain if he was asleep or awake.

Gu Xiaoqing closed the door and brought in a basin of water; she hadn’t yet cleaned Fang Shaohan’s body today—a daily task—washing his body and massaging his leg muscles to prevent atrophy.

She wrung out a damp cloth and opened Fang Shaohan’s hospital gown, placing the damp cloth on his chest for a gentle wipe.

Gu Xiaoqing said nothing, didn’t want to speak, the atmosphere seemed to stagnate.

"I’m sorry."

Fang Shaohan’s low voice echoed in the empty ward.

It was as abrupt as if a third person had suddenly appeared.

Her fingers paused momentarily, but almost as quickly as a second, the action resumed beneath her hands.

Gu Xiaoqing washed Fang Shaohan’s body quickly, then carried the basin out.

Fang Shaohan turned to one side, silently closing his eyes.

He didn’t want to be irrational like this, but he couldn’t control himself; the desire to groundlessly hurt those around him, to tear open all wounds so others shared his agitation, was governing him.

He turned into something completely unlike the calm and composed Fang Shaohan who could face anything, as though possessed by a monster.

The woman he never wanted to hurt was beside him, being horribly hurt by him, his fault entirely.

Hearing the soft footsteps, they belonged to the one who had become familiar, almost like another half of his life.

But this encounter only filled him with helplessness.

Fang Shaohan resolved firmly that he must prevent himself from making further irrational moves—all must end here; no need for another wave of hurt.

Tomorrow, he surely needed to do something.