CHAPTER 91: THE SUN

Chapter 90

Ciel

For an unknown amount of time, neither of us says a word. The only sound is the steady crash of waves against the shore. The sun dips lower, bleeding gold and rose across the horizon, painting Nolan’s face in soft amber.

"I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with my revelation," he finally says, voice quiet.

"I’m not uncomfortable," I answer honestly. "Just... processing information."

He huffs out a soft laugh, the kind that doesn’t quite hide his nerves.

"You don’t have to reciprocate anything, you know. I’m just—" He breaks off, fiddling with his fingers.

"I’m a little greedy, sure I’m attracted to Jack, but if I’m being honest... you’re the main factor. I’ve always wanted to be with you like that."

My heart stutters.

And suddenly my mind is dragging me back—

back to an afternoon that smells like earth, sun, and damp cabbage.

**

I sit under the tree next to Nolan, watching sprinklers sweep arcs of silver over rows of cabbages. There’s a strange kind of beauty in it, the endless green rows under the hot sun. Every time I say that, Nollie gives me the same confused look.

"I seriously don’t understand your fascination with them," Nolan mutters, squinting at the field like it’s a math problem he can’t solve.

"It’s more like I feel like a kindred spirit with them," I say.

"Kindred spirit?" he echoes.

"Yep."

"With the cabbages?"

"Yep."

I lean on my elbow to face him. His eyes are such a soft, clear blue they almost match the sky.

"Why?" he asks, genuinely confused.

"Because we’re similar. From the moment they sprout, cabbages are grown under the best conditions, best fertilizer... all so they can be sold at the best possible price and eaten."

He frowns. "And you’re similar in what way?"

I turn back to the cabbages.

"From the moment I presented, I was taken out of school to learn how to be the ’best product.’ Housekeeping, childcare, cooking, sex ed—everything an omega is supposed to know so my father can sell me for the best possible price when I turn eighteen."

Nolan’s jaw clenches.

"Ciel, you’re not a cabbage," he says firmly.

I laugh without humor. "I didn’t say I want to be one."

He turns to me with that determined look of his. "Let’s escape. Ciel, you can’t live like this."

"Once again, no thank you. Where would two seventeen-year-olds go? We have no money, no connections, and I’m an omega. It’s too risky, Nollie."

His hand slides into mine anyway, like he can anchor me with his warmth.

The only way I survived those years was because of him.

"Enough dreary topics," I say. "Do you like someone?"

His ears turn bright red.

"You do, don’t you?" I lean closer, grinning.

"Who is it? What are they like?"

"...They’re like the sun," he whispers. "I dare not get too close, but I can’t pull away either. All I can do is stand in their rays."

I gasp. "That was so poetic! Who is this person that’s capable of bringing such words out of you?"

He only shakes his head. "No one you know."

I don’t stop pestering him, scooting even closer. "At least tell me if you’ve thought of confessing?"

"They don’t like me like that," he says, so certain.

"How would you know?"

"I just know," he says softly, brushing a strand of my hair back.

"Then they’re probably not all that anyway," I say, puffing out my chest.

He laughs. "You’d be amused if you ever found out who they were."

I swat his hand when he squeezes my nose.

"No, I’d kick them in the foot for not appreciating you," I declare.

"Yeah? Maybe grow taller first," he teases.

"I’ll show you not to underestimate short people!"

I pounce. We tumble onto the grass, laughing breathlessly. His face is lit up, so full of light that for a second, I’m jealous of this mysterious crush. And then I shove the thought away.

We’re best friends. That’s all.

**

His voice cuts through the memory. "If you’re uncomfortable with it, I can talk to Jack and—"

"Don’t talk to Jack!" I blurt out before I can stop myself.

Nolan blinks.

I get to my feet, cross the short distance between us, and without thinking too hard, lower myself onto his lap.

We’ve always done this — after long days, late nights, bad dreams — it’s something familiar and grounding.

But this time... it feels different.

Nolan moves me on his body until I’m settled comfortably, my legs loosely bracketing his waist. His hands rest lightly on my hips—not possessive, not hesitant either. Familiar. Steady. The kind of touch that’s been mine for years without me realizing how much I depended on it.

I lean forward, pressing my forehead against his chest, breathing in the scent that’s so distinctly him. Warm, clean, a little woodsy with that faint hint of whatever soap he’s been using since college. It fills me up in a way I can’t quite explain. My shoulders relax, the knots in my chest untangling slowly. I sigh into him. God, I missed this.

"I’m not uncomfortable, Nollie," I mumble against his shirt, the fabric vibrating softly with the rise and fall of his breath.

"It’s just... new. And I don’t know what direction to go right now."

He lets out a low exhale that brushes the top of my head, and then his arms come up, wrapping around me fully. His embrace is firm, the way it’s always been when the world felt too big and I needed something to hold on to.

"Yeah," he says quietly. "I get that."

For a few precious seconds, neither of us speaks. The ocean hums in the background, waves rolling steadily against the shore like they’re keeping time for us. The last gold of the sunset paints his skin in soft light, and I can feel the thump of his heart beneath my cheek. It’s steady. He’s steady.

"Just a question," I murmur, tilting my head up slightly, "do you remember a conversation we had in high school... about the person you liked?"

His brows furrow, as if sifting through old memories. "We’ve had a lot of conversations, Ciel," he says with a hint of a laugh.

"You’re gonna have to be more specific."

I smile a little at that.

"Under the tree overlooking your family’s cabbage farm."

He groans immediately.

"You and those bloody cabbages. We were always under that tree."

"I’m sure we were," I tease lightly. "But this conversation stuck with me. You said the person you liked was like the sun."

Something flickers across his face—recognition. His eyes soften, but there’s a glint of nerves beneath it.

"You said they were like the sun," I continue gently, "and that you couldn’t get too close, but you couldn’t stay away either. And you were... so sure they wouldn’t like you back."

He goes very still beneath me.

"I said that?" he asks, voice low.

"Yeah," I whisper. "You did. Quick question..." I reach up and touch his jaw, guiding his eyes back to mine.

"Who was the sun?"

His gaze flicks away, toward the horizon, anywhere but me. He exhales—deep, resigned, like a man walking into a truth he’s carried too long.

"Nolan," I say softly, and he flinches slightly at how my voice wraps around his name.

He closes his eyes, lets out a quiet laugh that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "You know who it is," he says finally.