CHAPTER 60: ASS CLEANING EMERGENCY!

[ Daily Mission #3: Clean your butt hole! ]

[ Reward: +0.02 EXP; +0.02 Evolution Points (not affected by daily cap!) ]

Aaaaa! This is a disaster!

"NYOOOOOOOO!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THISSSS?!"

Still standing inside her golden litter box, Mimi clutched her tiny head with both paws and screamed in despair.

Because she realized something horrifying...

After all, how... how the heck were cats supposed to clean their buttholes after pooping?!

HOW?

Well, humans has it easy. There are toilet paper, butt-spraying guns, showers, or at least some leaves if they are primitive.

But cats...

Cats have no access to such things, nor can they use them!

Normally, cats would groom themselves thoroughly after every poop. They would twist their bendy little bodies, fold themselves like acrobats, and stare straight at their own ass, and... lick it!

YES! Using their spiky, brushy tongue! They cleaned their shitty bums with their mouths, eating all the tiny leftover poop particles like it was part of their daily diet!

IT’S UTTERLY DISGUSTING!!!

And that wasn’t the only way either.

Some cats... had even more nasty methods.

The dreaded butt-scoot technique!

Sometimes, they’d drag their bums across the ground, carpets, blankets—anything!—smearing shit trails everywhere like some evil paintbrush of doom. Many cats do this if their ass is too dirty, or when they have parasites that cause itchy bum.

But Mimi...

Well, ABSOLUTELY NOT!

There was no way she was licking her own butthole! And there was no way she’d drag her shitty ass all over Emilia’s fancy carpets either! Her master would scream in horror if she did that!

So...

How the hell was she supposed to clean her butt now?

Should I just... let it dry?

Or... clean it with my paws?

NO!!

That’s even more gross!!!

Mimi froze, her mind spiraling into despair. She was doomed. Absolutely doomed!

But then—suddenly—she remembered something!

Oh wait!

Yes! That’ll work!

Apparently, yesterday, on the way back home, she had spotted a certain structure within the clan’s estate, somewhere between Emilia’s mansion and the path to the Dimensional Gate Chamber.

A fountain.

A glorious, sparkling fountain!

It wasn’t just a big stone basin either—no, this one had little spouts that sprayed thin jets of water into the air, sparkling under the sunlight like crystal threads.

That thing... would be perfect for washing her ass!

It was basically a natural butt-washing machine!

Well... dragging her shitty butt all the way there sounded awful, but this was a full-on emergency!

Luckily, someone had left the window of her private toilet room cracked open. Mimi leapt onto the sill, her tiny body squeezing through with ease.

And then—

She bolted into the open air.

"Yes! To the ass-washing fountain let’s gooooo!!"

***

Moments later...

"Aaaaaaahhh~! Now this is wonderful!"

Mimi perched herself right at the fountain’s edge, tail raised proudly, while the cool stream of water sprayed upward and blessed her poor, suffering butt. The first splash made her squeak and tighten up, but soon the flow worked its magic, rinsing away every trace of her tragic burden.

Finally... no more shitty ass!

She let out a blissful sigh, paws kneading the stone rim in pure relief. It almost felt like a spa treatment—albeit a very, very awkward one.

And while enjoying her improvised bidet session, Mimi finally had a moment to take in her surroundings.

The place was quite beautiful! It was a mini garden actually.

Behind her loomed a towering stone statue, majestic and awe-inspiring. A goddess stood frozen in divine grace, her long hair flowing like waves of marble, her robes styled like those of an ancient Greek deity. From her back stretched wide, feathered wings, every plume etched in detail. In one hand, she held a mighty spear that pointed toward the heavens.

Together with her, three magical beasts gathered in lifelike poses: a proud eagle standing on her shoulder, a roaring lion with its mane flowing wild, and a deer walking beside her gracefully.

There was no mistaking it—this was Fauveline, the Goddess of Magical Beasts.

The area around the statue was just as breathtaking. Beds of vibrant flowers bloomed in every color of the rainbow. The grass was trimmed to perfection, emerald and soft, while the trees around the courtyard were shaped neatly, their branches swaying gently in the breeze. The whole garden radiated an air of sanctity, as if nature itself worshiped the goddess carved in stone.

Eventually, Mimi gave herself a little shake.

Mission complete.

Now, her butt was sparkling clean!

[ Ding! Daily Mission #3: Clean your butt hole! —completed! ]

[ Ding! Reward received! ]

[ Experience + 0.02 ]

[ Progress to level 2: (0.16/100) ]

[ Evolution points + 0.02 ]

[ Progress to the next evolution:( 0.36/1000)! ]

And with that, a new mission came too!

[ Ding! Daily Mission #4: Catch one mouse!]

[ Reward: +0.02 EXP; +0.02 Evolution Points (not affected by daily cap!) ]

Nah! Fuck that shit!

Mimi scoffed at the shitty daily mission. Then, she hopped off the fountain rim and slowly waddled toward the grand statue of the goddess.

When she finally reached it, she sat down in front of the stone deity. With solemnity, Mimi lowered her head in deep reverence, and said in her head some prayers to the Goddess.

Well then... please forgive me, O mighty Goddess Fauveline.

I didn’t want to wash my ass at your holy fountain, but I had no choice!

Please don’t smite me with lightning or curse me with eternal diarrhea, nya...

And... thank you. Really.

Your waters saved my life today nya...

And so, she stayed like that for a few moments, genuinely praying with the dignity of a monk—well, as much dignity as a little black cat could muster after blasting her butt at a fountain.

Finally, she exhaled and raised her head, whiskers twitching with relief.

"There. Prayer done."

Mimi turned on her tiny paws, tail flicking behind her, and prepared to trot back home.

***

On the way home, Mimi suddenly came across two all-too-familiar figures.

A father and a son.

Arcanis Silvervein and Valerian Silvervein! The same arrogant jerks she had met yesterday.

They looked like they were heading out to hunt again. Both were fully armored, weapons gleaming at their sides, and the Articanine padded faithfully beside them. The great Ice Wolf was majestic as ever, its frosty coat glittering like shards of crystal under the sun.

"Oh? A Noctifelis?" Valerian exclaimed as soon as his eyes landed on Mimi.

He crouched down, smiling, his tone softening into that ridiculous baby-talk voice people used on kittens. "Aren’t you Emilia’s beast? What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

His hand stretched out, ready to pet her.

But Mimi still remembered their arrogant attitude toward her master yesterday.

You?

Pet me?

IN YOUR FREAKING DREAMS!

FUCK OFF!

"HHHHHISSSSSS!!"

Mimi arched her back, fur puffing up as she spat her rage. Her tiny paw swiped at the air like she was ready to claw his face off!

Valerian jerked back, startled. "Whoa! What the—?! I didn’t even do anything! I just wanted to pet you!"

Ha! Look at this guy! Scared of a tiny little Noctifelis!

With her nose in the air and a smug little strut, Mimi walked right past him. But she wasn’t done yet!

She stopped, lifted her paw, and deliberately stomped down on his shiny boot. Then, ever so slowly, she scraped her paw against it in that oh-so-familiar motion cats did when covering up their poop.

The ultimate feline insult!

Out of the way, bitch!

"Wha—?! Are you serious?!" Valerian’s jaw dropped.

Haha!

Mimi flicked her tail high

GET DISRESPECTED!

Meanwhile, Arcanis watched with cold, unimpressed eyes.

"Tch. Lowly creature..." he muttered under his breath.

Hahh?!

Mimi’s ears shot up and her purple eyes sharpened like daggers. This guy! The audacity! She wanted nothing more than to leap at his smug face and scratch it into ribbons.

But Arcanis didn’t even spare her a second look. He turned to his son, already walking away.

"Come. We don’t have all day."

"Yes."

Valerian sighed, stood up and followed after him.

"Let’s go to the Goddess fountain and restock some holy water first," said Arcanis.

"Yes, Father," his son replied, though he still glanced back at Mimi now and then.