Reincarnated in a depressing erotic world but living a normal life (right?)
A desperate measure
Hello, everyone!
"Uhm... I'm glad to see you again."
"Me too... I always get a little nervous when we meet... but then I feel so happy that I forget about everything else!"
"I wish I could spend more time with you, but I have a tight schedule."
"Oh... don't worry, I know you're very important and have a lot of things to do..."
"But if time were a candy, the time I spend with you would be my favorite... a cinnamon and vanilla caramel... just like your hair."
"Oh, that's so sweet of you! Mine would be like cotton candy clouds... soft and light like your smile."
"And even though I know we see each other often at the academy... I feel that the time we spend together is not enough!"
"I feel the same way... I would like to be with you forever..."
"I feel the same way... I want to spend the rest of my life with you... until we're old..."
"Me too... and have lots of kittens and dogs..."
"And watch the sunrise from our rooftop... and have you read me a book at night before sleeping..."
"Oh... that would be very nice... and wake up every morning to give each other a good morning kiss... and then make pancakes... and have you feed them to me!"
"Oh, my love! You're so cheesy!"
"But you love me this way..."
"Yes, I love you that way... and just to show you I'm not cheesy... I'd like to be with you forever... eating ice cream! Because I love ice cream!"
"Oh! Me too! What a coincidence!"
"......."
"......"
Ahem, you see, I'm a bit busy right now, so my introduction will be short... "Well, the answer is that I'm hidden... observing, while being a complete busybody." Yes, I think that's the phrase that perfectly describes my situation. In fact, right at this moment I'm witnessing a real-life romantic comedy! It's about a handsome young man and a good-hearted lady, both madly in love, who are on the rooftop of Carmilla Academy.
Yes! And I'm here in the middle of a soliloquy, on the rooftop of an academy, while watching a couple of lovebirds! How normal is that?!
Well, pretty normal, actually!
Ha... you're right... this would be normal, if it weren't for the fact that something just doesn't add up here!
I know what you're thinking: what could be wrong? And let me answer you with all my heart: everything is wrong!!
You see, the truth is I've been "observing" this couple for a long time, so I consider myself a professional regarding their relationship (pride).
However, everything here is wrong, starting with that girl over there who shouldn't be here!
That guy's partner is supposed to be... a usually shy girl who is his childhood friend!
So, who is this woman? And what happened to that guy's personality? I'm sure he has never behaved in such a sappy and stupid way until now! Don't tell me he's being influenced by some kind of love magic or something, please!
"W-were they really bewitched by a l-love potion or something similar?"
I asked Echidna with a lump in my throat, clinging to that one small hope I had left, because if my favorite 'ship' dies here and now, it will be a tragedy my heart can't bear! Not after so much time, love, and effort I invested in them observing from the shadows!
"Unfortunately, no. Those humans do not appear to be enchanted by such a concoction."
Impossible...!!
At that moment I knelt with my hands on the ground, my heart feeling a weight so great it was as if it were breaking into a thousand pieces.
Why...? Why my 'ship'...?! So much time invested for nothing...? All that hope that they would finally have their moment... in vain?
Damn this world, damn it!
Does it really only favor eroticism and stupid NTR situations?!
"However, I can feel a familiar presence emanating from them."
"Huh...?!"
I shot up, my eyes shining with renewed hope. Could it be...? Could it be that not everything was lost? Was the universe giving me a second chance?!
"D-does that mean...?"
I immediately asked with renewed enthusiasm, feeling that my heart, which had been broken just a moment ago, was repairing itself piece by piece with the hope that my favorite 'ship' wouldn't end in a tragic NTR finale.
"Indeed, it's what you imagine."
"YESSSSSS!!"
I looked up at the sky, letting out a sigh of relief so deep I felt that all the weight of the despair I had accumulated in the last few seconds vanished. I knew it! I knew that the couple I had been observing for so long wouldn't end just like that. I knew it couldn't be a simple betrayal! This had to be caused by some kind of supernatural phenomenon!
Thank you, universe! I knew deep down you were (to some extent) a good guy!
In that way, I got lost in the emotion, a whirlwind of relief and happiness running through my entire being, feeling that a new path was opening up before me...
(slap!)
"Calm down!"
...Until a familiar sensation on my cheek made my head turn to the side, stopping my mental monologue. I brought my hand to my sore face and looked at Echidna, who was watching me with an expression of "you're overreacting," which brought me back to reality.
"Thanks for that, Echidna, I needed it!"
I shouted with renewed joy. If this was a supernatural phenomenon, then there was still hope. It wasn't a simple case of "my ship died," but rather it had transformed into something more!
"That's what I'm here for."
It was Echidna's reply, said with an exasperating calm that contrasted with my emotional roller coaster.
But for the moment, the priority is different!
With my soul calmer, my brain started working again. If this is a supernatural phenomenon, what could be the cause? Is it a modified love potion? Some kind of mischievous spirit? Or does the world really want to drive me crazy?
Because if so, this isn't enough!
... But I have no idea what the cause might be, so first I must investigate. That's why it's time to go home, because after all, the situation in front of me seems to be escalating!
So I must retreat!!
And... well, a few weeks have passed since then.
I know what you're going to say, but before you complain about the abrupt time jump, let me tell you.... I've put in a lot of effort during this time!!
I'VE BARELY SLEPT!!
Haaa... Haaa... Haa... Fuff.... I'm sorry about that. The lack of sleep has been taking its toll on me recently.
How bad has it been?
Well, it's been weeks of arduous investigation... of sleepless nights, of searching the darkest corners of the web and following every clue, no matter how insignificant. All to uncover the truth behind that horrible NTR scene I witnessed on the rooftop. And my investigation, my dear readers, has borne fruit.
The first thing I discovered was that the girl was not just a stranger... she was a woman from a higher grade! Yes, a year older than my favorite 'ship,' and what's more, she had already been engaged before they started "dating"!
But the story doesn't end there. The real tragedy is that the boy, our protagonist in this failed love story, seems to have lost all interest in his childhood friend. And where is she? Disappeared. Just like her sister, who is also missing, and what's even stranger... No one seems to care!
What is happening?
Excellent question, my dear reader, and let me answer you!
According to my investigation, both the boy and his sister went to a temple recently. It was right after that visit that the boy changed his personality and his sister vanished, without anyone in their family or friends worrying about her. On the other hand, the childhood friend disappeared two days later, after coming into contact with what appears to be a cult. Since then, no one has heard anything from her.
What the hell is happening at this temple? And what does this cult have to do with all of this?
My mind, my dear mind, has become the best of microscopes, capable of analyzing even the smallest detail of this intricate web of events. And, luckily, between the two locations, I was able to get valuable information from my reliable source, the always insightful Echidna.
What's with that tone and theatricality?
Don't worry about that-ahem, I mean!
It turns out, my dear Watson, that that place is known in certain circles as the Temple of Couples. A place that, according to Echidna's information, can only be reached by following a very specific pattern of behavior in a determined area, after fulfilling certain conditions. And apparently, and to my utter misfortune, that guy and his sister fulfilled those conditions perfectly.
But that's not the most intriguing thing. The real revelation, the missing link in this chain of events, is that at that temple, couples seem to form regardless of age. It's a place designed, basically, to create unions between men and women that, under any other circumstance, would be completely improbable.
Now, returning to reality, this explains that guy's behavior, of course. Who would have thought that a temple could make a person so stupid? It's so surreal that it almost makes me laugh... Did you really think I'd say that?!
At this point, I'm pretty used to this kind of thing!
"Haaa... But... that doesn't explain what happened to the girl..."
And my frustration is that, honestly, this second case has been much, much more difficult to investigate. The only information I've been able to gather is that, after being completely devastated by her childhood friend's cold treatment, she was contacted by a member of said cult, and then... she simply disappeared!
From the little information I have, the logical conclusion is that she was most likely kidnapped.
"Ugh.... This is so irritating!"
Both situations are really annoying! The guy's for being ridiculously sappy and the girl's for being so damn unfair. However, not all is lost...
However, I have a plan!
Yes, that's right, not all is lost. To be honest, I have a secret weapon to find the girl and a method to get to the temple. With my secret weapon, finding the cult that kidnapped her should be easier. But, due to some information I know about the place, going without a plan... well... it would be a very, very bad idea!
For what reason?
..... NO COMMENTS.
In any case, this makes my first objective the temple!!
And to find it, I need to meet the conditions that have been presented to me. Which, after analyzing my situation, I discovered are...
A DATE!!
What the hell?!
Yup, that was my exact reaction at the time, so let me explain. It turns out this date can't be just any date. The temple will only reveal itself if it recognizes a feminine and a masculine soul. And here comes the sad reality I recently discovered... even though my physical gender is male, my soul is 80% feminine.
What does that mean? Well, if I go on the date with a woman... absolutely nothing will happen! The temple simply won't reveal itself. Therefore... for the temple to reveal itself, I am forced to go with a man.
"I hate this... seriously..."
But I must do this for the sake of my romantic comedy!
Besides, if I change my perspective, then the situation changes!
After all, I recently made a "friend," which means this isn't a "date," no, this is a friends' outing!
"Or at least, if only it were that easy..."
But sadly, it's not, because there's a negative point to this plan. It seems to be necessary for the temple to mistake me for a woman, and since the damn temple isn't stupid, and my soul is still 20 percent masculine, I had no choice but to take drastic measures.
And so, after having a prolonged discussion with Echidna, my heart broke. My eyes welled up as tears streamed down my cheeks. My oath... my sacred oath!
"I'm very much enjoying this moment."
"I'll remember this..."
With a pain in my soul that I can't describe, I knelt down and pulled a chained box from the deepest part of my trunk. With one last sob, I broke the chains and opened the chest, revealing a lovely casual dress.
"This better be worth it."