WARNING: THIS IS A SMUT CHAPTER (18+). WELL A LIGHT ONE BUT THERE' S NO DIRECT SCENE OF IT. JUST THINK OF IT AS COMEDIC SMUT IDK. 

And this is not Evelyn banging nor is it Callista. So, enjoy I guess. Remember, this is a comedy like usual. 

Lira leaned back against the wall, brushing out her hair as Thorin fiddled with the small, carved music box he’d bought for her earlier that day.

“You’ve been staring at me for five minutes.” Lira said without looking up.

“Can’t help it.” Thorin replied, voice soft and low. “My love is just that beautiful.”

Lira chuckled, walking over and pressing her forehead against his.

“And you look like a painting someone left in the forge.”

“‘S’why we match.” he said while kissing her lips gently.

The box clicked open and played a soft melody. Lira sighed into his chest, swaying slowly to the tune, arms wrapped around him.

Their laughter melted into the hush of the music, their foreheads touching, breaths colliding. Thorin was staring at her intensely along with her lips while Lira was staring at his chest.

“Lira.”

“Shut up. Just kiss me already.”

Her words barely left her mouth before his lips claimed them. At first gentle but as their tongue moved together, they started to become more desperate. His hand slid to the her back, pulling her tighter and she gasped into him.

Lira’s fingers worked at the buttons of his shirt, fumbling from urgency, while his thumb traced the line of her jaw, tilting her face just enough for him to devour her mouth deeper.

He kissed her like a man starving. She answered like someone who wanted to be ruined.

When his lips trailed down her throat, her head fell back.

“Ahh...baby. You really want me huh?”

She dragged him up by the collar, crashing their mouths together again in a messy, desperate kiss that had no rhythm.

“Lock the door.” she said.

He didn’t need her to tell him twice. Still kissing her, he staggered toward the door, fumbling for the latch.

CLICK.

Meanwhile…

In the room directly above them, Penelope was lying on her back, pillow over her face, eyes wide open in silent horror.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

“Aaahh! OH MY GOD!”

Penelope shook her head, “No. No. Nope. I am not doing this again.”

She sat up abruptly, rummaging through the small pouch beside her bed until her fingers brushed against cool metal. Pulling out the tiny silver case Aric had gifted her yesterday.

She had ranted to Aric about the 'traumatizing noises' she’d endured thanks to overly enthusiastic couples in the barracks. Aric, ever the thoughtful one, had handed her the case with a completely straight face and said,

“You will thank me for this.”

She shoved the earplugs in her ears. Just before the noise faded completely, she heard one last thing from Lira,

“Oh my! Where did you...learn THAT!? OH MY!”

“They are somehow on par with that Lady Callista.” Penelope muttered, her voice was flat.

“…Well. Good for them, I guess.”

Penelope rolled over, the blessed silence finally returning thanks to Aric’s miraculous gift. She closed her eyes and could finally sleep.

Peace at last.

Unfortunately, not everyone in the room had come prepared. Evelyn lay in the bed with arms crossed stiffly over her chest, eyes wide open as if staring into the abyss.

Thump. THUMP.

“THORIN, HOW CAN YOU KEEP GOING—”

Evelyn’s left eye twitched. Penelope peeked one eye open, saw Evelyn's expression and knew how she felt. However, Penelope just closed her eyes and turned around to sleep.

I'll ask extra tomorrow. Goodluck, Evelyn! Suffer like I did!

Evelyn sat up slowly, swung her legs over the side of the bed and walked to the center of the room. She raised her voice and spoke very loudly to no one in particular,

“Wow! This book is SO INTERESTING! It’s just… REALLY hard to read it with all this NOISE!”

The banging noise started to slow down.

“I SURE WISH someone knew a SOUND-BLOCKING SPELL! GOSH, I WISH I COULD READ THIS IN PEACE!”

The noise stopped all of a sudden.

“…Oops.” Lira said while still clinging onto Thorin. She cast a cancelling bubble to contain the sound to just their room.

A second later, the unmistakable shimmer of a magic barrier crackled through the walls and the rest of the noise vanished completely. Thorin and Lira resumed their fucking and everyone else in the inn could no longer hear them.

Evelyn exhaled deeply, “At last. I can finally sleep.”

Hope you like that Thorin and Lira are freaky. (Also the first good couple of this series)

See you on Wednesday or Thursday!