CHAPTER 9: IRL LOGIN

It was morning in the muddy riverbank.

Nick’s body twitched once. Then—

GASP!

He suddenly sat up with a strong jolt as his fingers sank into the wet mud below him. His chest heaved like someone who had just been pulled out of the water.

That amount of cold air that filled his lungs almost hurt.

But... he was alive.

He blinked, looked down to see his hands trembling.

But the bruises, the cuts, the swelling—all gone.

"What... the hell...?"

His voice miraculously came out clear.

The last thing he remembered was an iron pipe crushing his sore throat.

Yet now... nothing. No pain. Not even a scratch.

He swallowed carefully just to test it, and his Adam’s apple bobbed smoothly.

Next, he moved his arms and they felt so light.

"Hm?"

It was like a hundred-pound load was lifted off him.

Nick stood up like a confused monkey.

Slip.

His pants and underwear fell right off.

"Eh?"

Nick looked down and froze.

In fact, he nearly forgot how to breathe.

There, gleaming under the soft sunlight, was a perfectly sculpted wall of abs.

Not just a few... a whole eight-pack!

"What the... fuuuuuck?"

He whispered with eyes wide. (⊙_⊙)

He poked one. Then another. Then all eight.

They were real. They jiggled slightly under his finger.

Usually his stomach was like a blob butter so fat he couldn’t even see his swollen legs.

"These look like Nero’s..."

He poked again, harder this time.

These were solid and real!

"There’s no way this is my body..."

Then something caught his eye. Something... dangling.

"Huh? What the hell is that—"

Between his legs.

It was a fat white snake.

"Holy—!"

Nick jumped backward.

"Holy fuck, a snake!"

He ran around in circles like a headless chicken and flailed his arms in sheer panic as the "snake" flopped between his legs.

It was a fat, heavy, and leathery snake.

"I don’t wanna get bitten!"

Without looking, he grabbed it—hard.

"AAAHHHHHHHH!"

A sharp and sudden pain shot up his body.

And then it hit him.

That wasn’t a snake.

He blinked. Once. Twice. Then looked down again.

"Oh... my... God."

He stumbled back as his handsome face turned pale and red at the same time.

"Wait... ten inches soft... twelve when hard..."

He froze as his mouth opened slightly.

That was exactly how he designed his dating sim avatar.

"No way..." (o_O) !

He slapped his own face to see if this was a dream.

Then slapped it again just to be sure.

"This... this can’t be the game, right?"

He staggered back and scanned his surroundings.

"I’m not logged in... there’s no way!"

He rubbed his abs again. They were really his!

When he touched my face and head, all his acne and sores were completely gone. Even his brittle hair looked thicker and healthier than before.

And—

"Why does everything look... shorter?"

He looked down. His legs were longer.

"Wait, no, I’m taller..."

He swiped his finger through the air to try and open the menu bar, but nothing happened. He also tried to bring up his status board, but that didn’t show up either. If anyone saw him he probably just looked like a crazy guy waving his hands and pretending to cast magic.

"Great. I look like I’m trying to cast a spell."

Nick shook his head.

"Okay, my face—I need to see my face!"

He sprinted toward the river.

The water was murky.

He squatted down, trying to catch his reflection.

"Damn it—!"

Frustrated, he turned and sprinted—except his first step sent him blasting forward like a cannonball.

"WOAH—! SO FAST!"

He almost tumbled face-first into a tree.

His heart pounded.

His breath came heavy, but not from pain—from thrill.

Usually the first two steps of any sprint would leave him rolling in his own sweat like a pig in the mud.

"This is insane..."

He touched his chest again and laughed a little, but he was also freaking out.

Then he broke into a sprint.

He was like a wild deer galloping through the forest.

Minutes later, he emerged near the city streets.

Cars honked, people walked by.

Soon, an SUV full of girls returning from the club slowed beside him.

One leaned out the window.

"That’s quite the item you’ve got there! ❤️"

"Mmm, what a hunk!"

They burst into laughter and drove off.

Nick blinked. "Uh... thanks?"

He waved awkwardly.

Then a group of businesswomen passed by and glanced him up and down before giggling.

"Ooo, bold."

"Probably a stripper from that gay bar we just left."

"I agree. He’s too handsome not to be one."

He waved again, completely lost.

And then it hit him.

His eyes went wide.

"Oh no."

He slowly looked down—and realized he was wearing only an oversized, muddy white T-shirt.

"Shit—!"

Nick yanked the hem down as far as he could and darted off the sidewalk, red-faced.

Some time later, he stood in front of a suburban house and knocked frantically.

"Jeez, that was close..."

He exhaled, hands on his hips.

The door creaked open.

A little girl appeared, eyes big and round. (O.O)

"Ahhh! It’s a snake!"

She pointed between his legs.

"Wait—no, no, it’s not—"

Nick tried to hush her, but the mother appeared and gasped when she saw him.

"Oh my..."

She murmured and covered her daughter’s eyes.

"Why is it so... uh..."

She tilted her head slightly.

It was like staring at a mutated eggplant.

Nick pulled the shirt lower, mortified.

"Please, it’s not what it looks like!"

Footsteps thudded inside.

"Who’s at the door, honey?"

The husband appeared, took one look at Nick, then at his wife and immediately covered her eyes.

"Trust me, you don’t need to see that."

The wife laughed lightly.

"Honey, you don’t have to do that."

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"No, you REALLY don’t!"

She was now fighting to get a peek.

Nick lifted both hands in surrender.

"Okay! I can explain!"

After a few minutes.

And a lot of awkward eye contact.

The situation calmed down.

The man sighed and fetched him some clothes.

A white dress shirt, a pair of slacks, and some old shoes.

"I hope these are fine..."

The wife said with such a soft voice as her eyes drifted to his abs while he buttoned up.

"Yeah. Again, thank you so much."

He smiled politely—but saw the mild disappointment in her face when he fastened the last button.

As he turned to leave, she suddenly reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"Would you... like something to eat?"

She asked, desperately leaning in slightly.

Nick blinked as he leaned back a little.

"U-uh, I’m fine, really."

"HONEYYY! Where are you?" the husband called.

"Coming, darling!"

She gave Nick a quick smile and hurried inside before she got caught.

Nick exhaled deeply and adjusted his collar.

"Well... that was uncomfortable."

He stepped onto the street, staring at his reflection in a parked car window.

Sharp jawline. Striking blue eyes. Perfect skin.

He chuckled softly.

"This really feels like Nero’s body..."

He smirked, half amused, half amazed.

"This has to be some kind of dream, right?"

He sat in his chair near the window and recounted everything that happened.

And just like that, he sighed.

『And that’s how I ended up here.』

His reflection on the window looked back at him.

He was really his game avatar.

Meanwhile, his thoughts were a complete mess.

『How the hell did this happen? Did I... die?』

He shook his head.

『Respawn? Respawn into what?』

He frowned slightly.

『Or I got beaten up so hard that I turned handsome?』

He thought about it for a moment, then shook his head with a quiet snort.

"Sure... brain damage equals glow-up." (ー_ー゛)

He slouched in his seat, trying to look casual, but inside his head was chaos.

『Could it be the VR pod? Maybe it glitched and... merged me with my avatar? No, that’s stupid... right?』

Unless... it isn’t?

He rubbed his temples slowly.

『Or maybe I’m in a coma and this is one long stupid dream. That’d explain a lot...』

He paused.

『Still, I did get cat-called by like six women. So maybe not a dream.』

He exhaled and leaned his chin on his palm.

『Man... this is so messed up.』

All the while, the classroom was quiet.

Just scribbling pens and the soft voice of Miss Adeline at the board.

But every now and then, those pens... stopped.

Because every student in the room (boys, girls, even the class nerd) was stealing glances at the mysterious "new guy" sitting by the window.

Except he wasn’t new.

He was Nick Aarden.

Miss Adeline herself, who was supposed to be explaining a calculus equation, had already stolen her sixth glance in the last two minutes.

『No way... that’s not Nick Aarden.』

Her chalk stopped, started, and stopped again.

『It can’t be. Nick Aarden was... pudgy, short, always slouching... This one looks like he walked straight out of a fashion weekly magazine!』

Her chalk almost slipped from her fingers as she stared at his profile.

『Sure, I might not be the best teacher here, but I know my students, damn it!』

Then there was Susan.

She was seated neatly by the aisle, pretending to write in her notebook but clearly sneaking looks at him.

She leaned toward Jace.

"Hey..."

She whispered.

"That’s... Nick... right? Or is this some sick joke?"

Jace didn’t even look up.

He was still scribbling something in his notes.

"There’s no way that’s Nick. Nick is de—"

He froze mid-word.

Susan’s brows arched. "Nick is what?"

Jace cleared his throat and looked away.

"I-, I said Nick is definitely... uh... dumb enough to skip class. Yeah."

Susan squinted. "Uh-huh."

He forced a laugh. "You misheard me."

"Whatever..."

She muttered and went back to her book, though her eyes kept darting toward Nick every few seconds.

And then there was Bree Hoffman.

Her jaw was halfway open.

『No freaking way.』

The once round, soft, squishy target she used to bully had somehow turned into a literal model sitting two rows away.

『This can’t be Nick... those eyes... that posture... a dirty pig can never look like this.』

Without a word, Bree grabbed her makeup kit and started working like a woman possessed.

Powder. Gloss. A quick blush.

Then she discreetly unbuttoned the top of her shirt.

Just enough to "accidentally" catch attention.

Now her bouncy breasts were popping out.

『Whoever he is... that hottie is mine.』

She added the finishing touches.

"A gorgeous girl like me deserves a gorgeous guy. We’ll be the perfect match..."

She blew herself a kiss in her compact mirror, smirked, and strutted over to Nick’s desk.

A lot of the guys couldn’t take their eyes off her chest.

They were showing and bouncing a lot more.

Nick was still halfway lost in thought when a sudden shadow covered his notebook.

He looked up—straight into a pair of very prominent, very distracting... displays.

Two, round, bouncy, soft displays.

"Hey there~"

Bree said, leaning so far forward her perfume practically hugged his soul.

"You’re not really Nick Aarden, right?"

Nick blinked, confused. "Uh... Bree?"

This was the same girl who used to call him "pig" and dump soda on his desk for fun.

He opened his mouth to say something—but then—

"Miss Hoffman."

Miss Adeline’s voice was sharp.

Bree flinched. "Yes, ma’am?"

"Go sit down."

"But—"

"Now."

Bree pouted, clearly trying to make it look cute.

"Aww, come on, I was just—"

"Unless you’d like to discuss algebra standing up."

That did it. Bree sulked her way back to her seat but made sure to "accidentally" brush her breasts against Nick’s arm on her way out.

Nick didn’t budge one bit.

『They’re nothing compared to Merlin’s...』 (￢_￢)

The room’s attention was now fully on him

And Miss Adeline’s patience had hit its limit.

"Alright, since our handsome new student seems to be having so much fun impersonating someone, why don’t you come up here and solve this problem?"

Her eyes narrowed at him.

"You’re Nick Aarden right...? Then you’ve been in class this week, yes?"

Nick blinked. "Wait, what?"

"If you can’t, we’ll call the school security to come escort you out. How about that?"

The entire class erupted.

"No way! Don’t make him leave!"

"He’s too hot to get expelled!"

"Miss Adeline, please!"

"Ma-, Maybe he’s in the wrong class! Please don’t let them harm him, Miss Adeline!"

Miss Adeline raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile but clearly fighting it.

Meanwhile, Nick’s stomach dropped.

『Oh no. Oh crap. She’s serious!』

He looked at the board.

A giant wall of calculus stared back at him.

『That’s... not English!』

He swallowed hard.

『I’ve always been dead last in every subject... how am I supposed to solve that—』

"Mr. Aarden!" Miss Adeline called again.

His classmates murmured:

"This is definitely Nick."

"Only Nick can be that dumb."

"Yeah, same stupid face... just hotter."

"I don’t think it’s Nick though. He can never be as unlucky as that butter ball."

Nick’s brain was screaming.

And then—

[System Activated: Oracle Engine]

A strange hum echoed in his mind.

His pupils contracted.

"Oh no."

Suddenly, all the numbers and equations flashed in his head like holograms.

Everything made sense. Too much sense.

"The game... the game is in me..."

He shot up, grabbed the chalk, and practically dashed to the board.

The next minute was a flash.

His hand moved on its own.

Lines and symbols appearing faster than Miss Adeline could even process.

When he finally dropped the chalk, the entire board was filled perfectly.

Miss Adeline stared at it, dumbfounded.

"That’s... wrong—"

"Actually... there’s a misprint in your book."

He spoke calmly.

"The coefficient here should be negative. Otherwise, the limit diverges."

She blinked rapidly. "Wh-, What?"

Before she could argue, Nick took a step back.

"Sorry, I—I need to go."

And before anyone could stop him, he sprinted out of the classroom like his life depended on it.

Silence.

You could’ve heard a pin drop.

Miss Adeline slowly lowered her textbook

She was completely stunned.

"Nick Aarden would never know that?"

–

–

–

Five minutes later, Nick burst through the front door of his house.

"Thank God I got the spare key from the school..."

He rushed upstairs, slammed his bedroom door shut, and ran straight to his VR pod.

"I have to know what’s going on..."

He powered it up as his heart pounded.

He slipped on the headset and gripped the edge of the console.

"Please... tell me this is just a glitch..."

The pod hummed softly at first, then the screen lit up.

[Initializing EternaLove Online...]

Nick’s breath caught.

"This can’t be real..."