Chapter Seven - Not-So-Plain Jane

Not-So-Plain Jane was rather... a lot for someone who may or may not have been a criminal.

"So, what're we talking here? Some B&E, you gonna murk an ex-lover? You don't look the gangster type," she said as she walked around me. "Damn, you have the potential girl."

"Uh, thank you?" I tried. I wasn't uncomfortable with people staring, but she was looking at me in a different kind of way.

"So, this gig of yours, whatever it is, what'd you need for it?" Saying that, she walked over to a counter and hopped up backwards onto it so that she was sitting facing me. It brought her eyes level with my own.

I licked my lips, but this was a burned timeline anyway, so... "I'm looking for armoured gear that'll keep me safe enough. I'm going to sneak into a portal and take it out, solo."

She blinked. "You a secret C-ranker or something? Because that kind of firepower does not shop here, I'll tell you that."

I shook my head. "I can handle myself. That's all you need to know."

"But you want gear anyway?" she asked. "Huh... weird one! I dig it. Don't dig your style though. What's the budget?"

"Would you laugh if I said four hundred?"

She laughed.

That was a yes.

"Girl, you serious? Damn... wait, no, don't just leave, I can make this work. Damn though, four hundo... better be in cash."

"Yeah, in cash," I said.

She shook her head, locks flying. "Okay, okay... no, not okay, that's not nearly enough. What do you need exactly?"

"Anything halfway protective that'll cover my ID, and..." A gun would be too much, wouldn't it? I had plans for making cash, but none that worked today. "And a knife or a short blade."

"Huh," she said. Her hands went to the counter and she kicked her legs out. "A thousand five."

"Pardon?"

"You pay me your four hundred, then gimme a thousand five later."

"And if I flake out?"

She snorted. "I've got your face on my servers, love," she said with a tap to the side of her temple.

That wouldn't do her any good if I reloaded, but... yeah, I got it.

"That sounds good. What's the interest rate?"

She snorted. "Girl, if I could do math I wouldn't be selling shit out of an alleyway! Nah, nah,no interest, only my interest if you don't pay up, catch?"

"I'll pay up," I said.

She rubbed her hands together. "Okay, now the fun part. See, I get to pick the gear. No ifs ands or buts about it. You think it makes your ass look fat, doesn't matter, gears yours, and you're paying for it."

"And if you give me cheap scop?" I asked.

"I won't, Plain-Jane promise!"

Wasn't she Not-So-Plain Jane a moment ago? "Okay, let's see what this looks like."

"Yes!" she cheered before jumping off her counter. "Okay, come here, in the light. C'mon. We don't get customers for another two hours or so, take off that coat, and your pants."

"You want me to strip?"

"Not out here, we have changing rooms. What're your sizes? No, don't tell me." She whipped out something long and... oh, a tape measure? I stood stiffly while Jane wrapped the measure around my bust, waist, hips, then each thigh in turn. She checked my shoulder width and arm span as well. "Kay! In the room, and remember, for this kind of deal, no complaining."

She didn't need to give my ass a smack on the way by.

Still... she wasn't entirely wrong. If the gear she gave me was worth it, then yeah, this was worth it.

Damn, would I be able to convince her again? This meeting felt kind of random, did I even remember all the little details to replicate it, and could I reliably do it again?

Crap.

My Save was a solid forty minutes of travel back. By the time I returned and got another closer... ah, I was going to either lose this time I was 'wasting' now, or I'd have to live with whatever Jane handed over.

I waited in a rather tight changing room, unwilling to just strip so easily. I jumped when a pair of pants wrapped over the top of the door and almost smacked me. "Here!" Jane called. "Don't put these on yet."

"Uh, okay," I said.

I pulled the pants down and looked them over. Cargo pants, but the more military style ones. There was a gang of ex-mil in Fortress ENE that wore similar stuff. I tugged at it. It was thick, padded on the inside with something that felt warm and kind of absorbent. The knees had some sort of gel padding over them as well, and the inner thighs were reinforced.

I found a price-tag, wrinkled up but still connected to the pants and my eyes boggled. Six hundred?

Next came a belt. No old price tags, but it felt quality, and there were straps that came with it for a holster. If I had a decent knife with a good holster.

"And hup!" Jane said, and I jumped as two things slid through the bottom. A pair of shoe boxes and a knife, in a nice cloth sheath. "Don't put anything on yet!" she said.

"Okay," I replied.

I grabbed the knife and checked it over. It wasn't anything too special. Military surplus, maybe a foot long, with the end thicker than the middle. It was part combat knife, part machete, and all-black with a full-tang. Nicer than what we got at Luna Corp, actually.

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The shoe boxes had boots. Hiking boots, with strong laces, both a deep brown. I hadn't even thought about buying shoes for this.

One of them still had a price sticker on the side. Four hundred and thirty.

"Christ," I muttered.

"Here, and here," Jane said. She tossed something in a plastic package under the door, then a hat.

The hat was just a plain black baseball-style cap, no markings, no logos. The brim was a little worn, and someone had pinched a pair of metal rings through it, but otherwise, plain.

The plastic package was a gas mask. A cheaper one, with several straps and two thin filters. Probably no more than a hundred dollars at a hardware store, but still.

Actually, that would work to hide part of my identity, and some portal worlds had toxic air as well. A dust mask wouldn't stop anything, but it might help. And when it wasn't needed, I could pull the filters out and just breathe normally enough.

"Haha! Here it is!" Jane shouted from way deeper in the warehouse. Then I heard her running back. "I've been looking for someone to wear this forever! Ohhh, this is gonna be good! They made these for this team of all-female spec-ops bodyguard types. All D and C-rankers. The sorta gals that are meant to look good standing behind some hoity politico type and are expected to be able to kick ass too. But they all vetoed wearing them."

I was starting to be a little concerned, though... gear for C-rankers? There were... okay, a few thousand C-rankers in Fortress ENE, but they were still usually pretty important.

Then the item in question was flung over the top of the door, and I pulled it down. "Jane," I said.

"Yeah?"

"This is a fucking leotard," I replied.

"Uh-huh!" she said right back. I could see her feet tapping excitedly on the other side. "Put it on! Do you know how? I can help!~"

"I'm fine, but, uh."

"Remember the deal? Don't make me blackmail your firm little ass!"

That woman was insane. I should have Reloaded then and there. But... the leotard felt like quality. It was armoured too, padded along the ribs and breasts and back. Not very padded, but still...

"It's top-shelf shit... from four years ago. Got a heap of them for cheap and no one wants them, but you're tall and lanky enough! And it's like, sixty-percent portal-world material. C-grade at least! You're holding something worth a whoooole lot there!"

"Worth a lot, but I'll look ridiculous," I muttered.

She heard, of course. "Not with the drip I picked out, babe!"

Screw it. If it was too embarrassing, I'd Reload.

Now... how did someone actually put on a leotard? Closest I'd ever come was a one-piece bathing suit and this didn't seem as stretchy. Ah, there was a zipper. I groaned. "I'm not taking off my underwear, you pervert."

"How else will we know if it's hiding your coochie right?" she asked before laughing. "Don't worry so much. You're wearing pants. Prude!"

I grumbled, but took off my clothes (most of it) in a hurry, then fumbled my way into the leotard. I'd never admit it to Jane, but I put it on backwards at first. The zipper was on the front with this one, probably to make it easier for a person to slip into without help.

It was... comfy? A little tight, but not too badly so, and when I stretched and moved, it moved with me. Damnit, this was quality gear.

I put the pants on next, then the belt and boots, finally the mask, which needed me to use the knife to cut into that damnable plastic wrapping. After adjusting that, I slid the hat on.

I felt... comfortable enough. The leotard top left my arms exposed, but no more than a sleeveless Tee would. The weird part was having a slip of skin exposed on my hips above the pants, but I'd gone clubbing in shirts that didn't cover my stomach before so I could live with this much.

"Alright," I said, voice warped a little by the mask. "I'm stepping out."

Jane was there, waiting, and I could almost feel her iris-less eyes scanning me over. "Ooooh, bitch you are H-A-a buncha Ws-T, Hawwwwt! I am good at my job. When you die trying to solo that portal you will do it in style!"

I crossed my arms. "Thanks," I said.

"No, it's... missing something. The silhouette is there, but... yeah, one sec!" She ran off, then she ran back, carrying a jacket with her.

It looked like more military-ish surplus, only it was all matte-black.

I took the coat, then glanced at it. "This is like, three sizes too big," I said.

"That's the point, babe! Put it on! Wear it loose!"

I sighed, but did as she asked. It was a good coat. Looked like it had some plates of something hard sewn into it that made it a bit bulky, but it felt like a tough, high-quality material.

"Oh! I am good!" Jane said. "Yup, you keep that, and when you wreck it, come back and I'll drip you out even more."

"Uh-huh," I said.

"Now... four hundo. You said you had that much on you, and I want it in my pretty little hands." She wagged her eyebrows. "Or you could pay in other ways."

I gave her her cash, redressed in my usual clothes, and then was out of there, a heavy bag by my side.

***