bChapter 171 /b

    ra

    Before reaching my true destination, I run into Ss. His appearance is nothing like the brother I’ve known all my life. He looks tired and sad, with two dark bags under his eyes, dull blonde hair, and thinner cheeks. A sharp pang hits my chest, and I taste the guilt in my mouth. At first, neither of us knows how to start the conversation, but eventually, I take the first step.

    “How are you?”

    “Maybe I should be asking you that. I’m not the one who came back from the dead.”

    “Well, technically, I wasn’t dead.”

    I draw a small smile, hoping to lighten the mood.

    He responds by mimicking my smile with a small one that almost reaches his eyes.

    “Have you beenfortable here?”

    “Much to my regret, Cassian knows how to be a good host.” He ruffles his hair with his hand, as if embarrassed by something. “I’ve been fine.”

    “Things are going to be a bit weird now, right?” I bite my lower lip. “Even though we’re not blood siblings, I…”

    “You don’t have to say it. My feelings for you haven’t changed.”

    bI /bbnod/b.

    “I’m d to hear that, because mine haven’t either. For me, Abigail, Mom, Dad…”

    “I know.”

    I swallow the lump in my throat before I turn into a tearful mess in the hallway and make this moment even stranger than it already seems.

    “I need to talk to Evanora, but if you want, we can chatter.”

    “Whenever you want.”

    I continue down the hall, not without ncing over my shoulder to check if Ss is still behind me. In the depths of my heart, I feel like I’ve lost him too. A part of us died that day; maybe our ability to be siblings was one of them, and no matter how hard we try, we’ll never be those

    two kids again.

    Evanora’s room is still in the same hallway I remember, and I know it because Drystan is standing in front of it, debating whether to knock or

    not.

    I clear my throat to announce my presence, and he startles, looking at me, surprised.

    “Am I interrupting?” I ask..

    “Not at all, I was just leaving.”

    He steps away from the door and smiles faintly as he walks past me. I give him a curious nce, sure that the vampire had been standing there, gathering the courage to do something. I close the distance and knock, waiting for a response that doesn’t take long toe. I open the door and peek my head inside.

    “Am I catching you at a good time?”

    Evanora is sitting in front of the balcony of her bedroom, wearing a gray dress that entuates her chest, and the albino snake is ying with her hands, winding around her arms and hissing at the air.

    b“/bAs good as any other time, you wouldn’t believe how bored I am sitting here every day.”

    I step inside and close the door behind me.

    “Lucky for you, Ie bearing an adventure proposal.”

    “I don’t know if your adventures are something good for me.”

    For ba /bsecond, I worry, but seeing her smile, I realize she’s just joking. I sit down in front of her and smooth out my dress to stretch out the

    moment and think about how to say what I need to say.

    “It must be a good adventure if you’re thinking so much about it.”

    “I’ve been thinking… You know that supposedly I can conceive Purebloods, and if that gets out, they’ll try to force me to do it.” I raise my

    gaze to lock with hers, which reflects concern. “I don’t want to be used.”

    “Cassian wouldn’t let that happen.” She extends her hand, free of the snake, to hold mine. “That man is crazy about you.b” /b

    “I know.” I smile as if it pains me. “That’s the problem. I know he’d do anything to keep me safe, even putting himself in danger. I’ve lost

    important people because of me; I don’t want to lose him.”

    “And what else is left, ra? You can’t be a secret forever, that’s no life.”

    “What if I couldn’t have children?”

    “I don’t follow you.”

    “Make it so I can’t have them, do whatever you have to do so that no being can be born from me, make life unable to take root inside my

    body.”

    I grab her hand more tightly, desperate. She pulls back in her seat, as if I’d just punched her in the gut. She shakes her head and looks at me

    as if I have two heads.

    “You can’t be serious.”

    “Is it better for me to be raped for their purposes?”

    Her face wrinkles when she hears the word.

    “Would you give up what the future could offer you?” she asks with a soothing tone. “Wouldn’t you like to have a family with him, with

    Cassian?”

    “I don’t know the future or what it might hold, but I do know Cassian, and that’s what I don’t want to lose.” I ce my hand on my belly. “What could be doesn’t matter if Cassian goes to war with his own.”

    She looks at where my hand rests, and stays silent for so long that I start to fidget ufortably in my seat. I don’t interrupt, afraid that anything I say could convince her not to help me with this. I watch her whiter–than–ever hair under the sunlight and the pale scars around her

    mouth, exposed in the intimacy of her room.

    “It will be painful,” she says. “And we’ll need to go to the camp; I can’t do it. I don’t have the necessary knowledge; I could kill you.”

    110 Sat. 9 Aug

    bChapter /b171

    don’t want bhim /bto know anything about this, plus I don’t think he’ll let me leave the castle with everything that’s going on. Maybe Drystan…”

    b“/bWhat does Drystan have to do with this?”

    I don’t miss the hint of irritation in her voice when she says his name. The question I want to ask is at the tip of my tongue. I’m curious to know what has both of them moving so carefully around each other.

    “Maybe he coulde with us. The Twisted Forest isn’t a ce for just the two of bus/bb./bb” /b

    “It won’t be necessary.” Seeing my confused face, she adds: “Naja has ba /bportal, I’ll contact her and get everything we need to open it on this

    side.”

    b“/bWhen?”

    “I’ll need a few days to gather everything.” She sighs. b“/bbIn /bcase you haven’t noticed, Cassian doesn’t trust me much. It’ll take me ba /bwhile to gather what’s needed. In the meantime, act normal. Thest thing we need is for him to suspectb, /bor he’ll tie you to his bed, and I’ll lose my

    head.”

    “He wouldn’t do that,” I say, annoyed.

    “Little ra, you haven’t witnessed his fury this past month; I have. I assure you he’s capable of that and much more.”

    “Fine.” I stand up from my seat and tap my dress nervously. “Then I’ll act normal, will this…? Will it take long?”

    “If everything goes well, you’ll need to stay there for a few days to recover.”

    “I guess we’ll worry about that when the timees.”