Her words pierce me like shards of ss. It hurts everywhere. So much that for a moment I can’t breathe–or maybe I’ve just bforgotten /bbhow/bb. /bbI /bbce /bbmy /bhand over my heart, then quickly lower it so she won’t see how much her words wounded me. I meet her eyes without wavering.

    “If you bdon’t /bwant to be part of your mother’s ns, what do

    “I want you to help me. Make me incapable of conceiving.”

    you want?”

    A raspy, incredulousugh leaves her lips. Evanora looks at me sadly, as if she already considers everything lost. But I’m ready to fight for what I bwant /bwith tooth and nail. If they think I’m still that defenseless human, they’re very wrong. My mother may want my body for other purposesb, /bbbut /bshe gave me enough strength to use it–and my gifts–as a weapon.

    “You’vepletely lost your mind,” she says, still recovering from herughter.

    “Maybe.” I grit my teeth. “Maybe I’ve gone crazy, but I know for sure I won’t let them use me, touch my body, treat it as if it were theirs.”

    “Why would I go against Lilith, girl?”

    “Because you’re a woman, just like me. Aren’t you supposed to live away from men because you fear them? You live inmunityb, /bhelping each bother/bb, /bba /bstrong and united group. Will you abandon a woman who only asks you to help her so men won’t use her?”

    “You don’t know if that will happen.”

    I start to see doubt in her eyes.

    “They’re desperate, dwindling every day–do you really think they won’t do whatever it takes to preserve themselves?”

    There’s a change in her gaze, and I know, in that precise instant, that I’ve won. She presses her lips into a thin, straight line and returns the snake to its owner, who looks at me as if she can’t believe I managed to convince her leader.

    “You could lose your life, you know that?” she asks.

    “The alternative waiting for me wouldn’t be life, so I’ll take the risk anyway.”

    She nods, radiating seriousness from every pore. She rises from her seat and gives me onest look.

    “We’ll do it tonight.” She turns to the banshee. “Make sure she’s ready when the timees.”

    She doesn’t wait to hear her answer; instead, she disappears into another of the rooms. That’s our cue to leave. I follow Evanora’s steps and, with great effort, try to remember this ce from thest time we were here. The banshees still look at me with suspicion, as if they can smell the trouble radiating from me. I immediately recognize my friend’s small house. She opens the door effortlessly. I’m surprised by the level of trust they have among themselves, enough to leave their possessions so unprotected.

    I sit on one of the two small cots,

    “What did she mean by making sure I’m ready?”

    “There’s a small ritual we have to do before you put yourself in her hands tonight.” She begins rummaging in a chest. You have bto /bunderstand bit’s /bbrisky- /bthey’re going to take from you what could make you a mother.”

    “A mother isn’t just someone who gives birth or has the ability to do so,” I protest.

    She twists her lips, as if regretting what she just said. She keeps rummaging in the chest while I think about bthe /bquestion that’s bbeen /bbcircling /bbin my /bbhead /bfor days. Every time we talk about this, a shadowed expression transforms Evanora’s features.

    “You don’t agree with what I’m going to dob, /bdo youb?/b”

    bThat’s /bbnot /bbit/bb,/bb” /bshe answers without looking at me.

    b“/bThen what is it? I feel like you’re not okay with any of this.”

    b“/bWhat I think doesn’t matter,” she says sharply. “Don’t dwell on it.”

    “I want to dwell on it. What is it, Evanora?”

    She ms the chest shut, sits on top of it, and runs her hands over her face.

    “I’m jealous, ra.” She avoids my eyes. “I dream of being a mother, and that possibility was taken from me.”

    “What do you mean, it was taken from you…?”

    “I don’t want to talk about it.” She gets up, and suddenly her face shifts sopletely it’s as if her confession never happened. “Come here, we bneed /bbto /bstart as soon as possible.”

    With several things in her hands, she gestures for me to follow her. We leave her hut, walk through the entire camp, and little by little approach one of the coasts that borders the area. The roar of the waves grows stronger with each step we take, and the smell of salt–which already permeates the whole ce bes even more intense. My new sense of smell only makes me notice all the differences even more. The sea looks furious, and the color of its waters could easily pass for ck. I take a step back, a gesture she doesn’t miss.

    “Don’t be afraid, I’ll be with you every moment.”

    I follow her, not entirely sure what I’m doing. The banshee moves even closer to the water, seemingly unaware that the hem of her dress is starting to soak. I hesitate until I finally realize that if I don’t imitate her, all of this will have been for nothing. I step beside her and feel my dress getting wet. The water is so cold it’s like hundreds of needles stabbing into my body from different directions. I hold my breath when Evanora inteces her fingers bwith /bmine and leads us farther in, slowly submerging us in these furious waters. When it reaches above our waists, she hands me a small vial.

    “You have to drink it. It will expel from you any sign of corruption.”

    I close my eyes and swallow the contents without breathing. When I open them again, I feel her hands on my shoulders.

    “Do you trust me?” I hesitate for a few seconds before nodding. “I’m here, don’t be afraid.”

    Little by little, she pushes me down into the water. My nails dig into her wrists, my hair drifts across my face, blinding me. I try to hold my breath as blong /bas I can, but my lungs burn, and my mouth desperately urges me to open and inhale. I kick without sess until I can’t take it anymore and my lips part

    in a silent scream.