bChapter /bb183 /b

    b“/bbHow /bbold /bbare /bbyou/bb, /bKhaosb?/bb” /b

    b“/bFourb./bb” /b

    “Have you gotten lost?”

    He begins to shake his head when footsteps catch our attention. A young girl with ck–blue hair appears out of nowhere, visibly upset. Her skin is as white as snow, and her lips are so red they seem covered in blood. I am lost in my scrutiny until I look into her eyes and freeze. The girl seems to notice and looks at me with a sad smile tugging at her lips.

    “One eye in the present,” she says, pointing to her only

    “And the other sacrificed for the future.”

    The only eye that meets mine is the color of the forest,

    green.

    “So here you were, little one.” She ces her hands on her hips. “I’ve been looking for you for a while. Come on, it’s not the hour to be wandering around. Dawn will be here soon. You should be sleeping.”

    “And my dad?” the child asks. “When is my dading?”

    “Soon,” she replies. “But you have to be a good boy until then.”

    The sadness on the boy’s face cannot be hidden. He walks with his head down toward the girl and does not protest when she takes his hand and begins to walk away. I think I will be left alone with my thoughts again, but they both stop when the nameless girl nces over her shoulder.

    “You must be Elára, right? I’ve seen youing for

    “And you must be the seer.”

    A soft, warmugh escapes her lips.

    days.”

    “That’s me.” She nods toward the front. “Will youe with me?”

    I thought she wanted to be alone; however, the moment I hear the seer’s request, I do not hesitate to follow her a few steps behind. Perhaps what I desperately crave is a distraction. To forget that the world is copsing around me.

    “Have you crossed the Twisted Forest, ra?” asks Cassian in a threatening tone.

    “No, we used a portal.”

    “Good, we will talk about this when we meet in person.” Silence.

    “I see you have no trouble abandoning me.”

    “You’re an exaggerator.”

    “You left.”

    “I left a note.”

    “It’s not enough.”

    I bite my lip andpletely disconnect from the conversation when we stop in front of a hut. From the outside, it looks exactly like all bthe /bothersb, /bband /bbto /bbe honest, once I step inside, nothing seems different. There are two cots, one smaller, where Khaos immediately throws himself down. bThe /bfire bfills /bbthe /broom with warmth and orange light.”

    The girl gestures with her head, and I follow. She pulls a curtain that separates what looks like a kitchen from bthe /brest bof /bbthe /bbhut/bb. /bbShe /bbsits /bbat /bba /bbround /bbtable /b

    b1/4 /b

    band /bbmotions /bbwith /bher hand bfor /bme bto /bdo the same. I sit across from her, unsure if it is appropriate to look at her directly:

    b“/bbMy /bbname /bbis /bViatrix,” she offers a small smile. “And you can look me in the face, you don’t have to stare at imy /ikitchen. I know it’s not bspectacr /b–

    b“/bbDo /byou read bminds/bb?/bb” /b

    b“/bbNo/b, I’m just used to difort,” she responds with a soft, sweetugh. “I’ve been watching people try not to look at me, thinking it bothers bme /bwant the truth is that looking everywhere else when they talk to me is what really annoys me. Please, let’s avoid that.”

    “Okay.”

    “You have an important decision ahead of you, don’t you?”

    “Do you know what decision I’ll make?”

    I don’t want to appear as desperate as I feel.

    “Yes.” Before I can say anything, she adds, “However, telling you would interfere with fate. This is something you must do alone.”

    “None of this was in my ns.” I stand up. “I didn’t want this.”

    “Usually the best things happen when we don’t expect them.”

    Her words make me feel ufortable and betrayed. Leaving all my manners behind, I turn and head toward the exit. I nce at the cot, where the boy is already asleep, clutching the nkets to his chest. I hear Viatrix’s footsteps behind me.

    “Are you his mother?” I ask.

    She shakes her head, though I can see the affection in her face. Without saying more, I leave the hut, knowing I have been very rude. I would have liked bto /bstay, talking and asking questions. I have never met a seer, to be honest, nor did I even know they existed. Yet I feel misunderstood. Nobody says it aloud, but I feel that everyone expects me to move forward with this. Again, my hand rests on my stomach, as if a ma connects it to her.

    I would give anything to go back a few days, to stay in Cassian’s arms,ughing in our bubble that keeps worries out for a while. Now I am here, facing an important decision, one that could change my life forever. I let myself fall onto one of the logs next to an extinguished fire, silently mulling over my thoughts. No onees near me, as if they can sense that I am a natural disaster about to strike. I can feel it under my skin, all the energy coursing through my veins in waves. I bite the inside of my cheek ito /isuppress the urge to scream at the sky and demand answers from whoever is listening.

    Suddenly, a weight falls onto my shoulders, and when I look back, l/see Evanora, who wraps a nket around me.

    “You’ll catch cold.” She sits beside me. “The fire is lit inside, and I prepared some broth.”

    “Things didn’t have to turn out this way,” I murmur.

    “They never do as we expect.”

    “How much time do I have?”

    She exhales before continuing.

    “A human pregnancysts about nine months. A vampire’ssts barely four.” She lowers her gaze over my body. “I’d have to bsee /byou naked to be bmore /bprecise, but I’d guess you’re a few weeks along, maybe a month. During the time you were with Ciro, you saw Cassian, right?”

    The memory of the first time we met, just after I woke from myatose state, shes in my head. The hungry kisses, the furious thrustsb, /bbthe /bbsharp /b

    words.

    “Yes,” I admit.

    “Then it’s possible you’re a month along, which corresponds to about three human months.” She looks bat /bme for permission before cing her bhands /bbon /bmy stomach. She remains silent while pressing certain areas. “Yes, I think I’m right.”

    Chapter b183/b.

    bSo/bb, /bbhow /bmuch btime /bbdo /bbI /bhave?”

    “A few days. I wouldn’t wait too long. At most a week.”

    bI /bmust not be as closed–off as ‘think, since she reads me easily.

    “I know this is aplicated decision. No one expects it to be easy, but if we wait longer, things could go wrong. Your pregnancy is already ba /bbfish /bin sif

    b“/bWhat do you mean?”

    “Vampire pregnancies carry more risk. The female body has to adapt quickly; sometimes the fetuses grow too fast for the mother’s body. I swallow the lump in my throat. “We also don’t know what repercussions this will have on you. But if you decide to have it, Maja and I will do everything we can to keep both you and the baby safe and healthy.”

    I don’t know if it’s my hormones, fear, or her words that make my eyes fill with tears. I blink rapidly to get rid of them, but not fast enough to avoid the banshee noticing. She wraps me in her arms and pulls me close, so my face rests against her shoulder.

    “I don’t want you to think I’m telling you this to influence your decision. Do iyou /iknow why I gave my soul to Lilith? It wasn’t to be epted as one of her daughters, nor to gain ess to magic–it was to get my daughter back.” Before I can ask questions, she continues, “A long time ago I lost her. She died a few months after birth. That was too long ago. I’ve lived more years than you can imagine, yet I cannot rid myself of the need to have her back. I gave my soul to Lilith, but everythinges with conditions. I made a mistake. She brought her back, but I could never be her mother. Her nature was human, fragile, and my world is merciless to those who aren’t strong enough. Lilith promised me the girl would live a full life without me near her.” She sighs heavily. “I just want you to know I understand. Being a mother is hard, whether you want it or not, and whatever decision you make will be the right one -for you, for the moment, and for the circumstances.”

    “Did you want it?”

    “It was one of my captors.” As if thinking of them awakens old pain, she traces the scars on her mouth with her fingertips. “There was a time I asked the same question in my mind.”

    “I’m so sorry for everything that happened to you, being kidnapped, losing your daughter… Does she…”

    “Yes, she has her own family, children, even grandchildren…”

    “Ragna was referring to her when she said ‘she has your eyes,’ right?” I ask. She nods. “Everyone has their demons, right?”

    She curves her lips into a smile so sad my heart breaks a little.

    “Let’s go inside, ra. It’s time to eat.”

    We walk side by side, wrapped together under the nket. When we enter her hut, the heat from the fire hits me; however, it is not ufortable, quite the opposite. I hadn’t realized how the cold had seeped into the marrow of my bones during the time I spent outside.

    She ces a bowl in my hands. I take a sip and feel it warm my stomach.

    “I’ve met the seer,” I say.

    “Viatrix.”

    “Yes.” I take another sip. “There was a boy with her. Khaos, she said his name was.”

    “Naja mentioned something to me.”

    “Whose child is he? I’ve never seen men or boys. Only women.”

    “Banshees do not have the capacity to give birth to men.”

    b“/bThen…b?/bb” /b

    bChapter /bb183 /b

    bThat /bbboy /bbdoes /bbnot /bbelong bto /bany bof /bbus/b. She gives me ba /bblook /bI cannot decipher. “He is Eleazar’s sonb./bb” /b

    I swallow a gasp.

    bOf /bbcourse /bhe is Eleazar’s son; those golden eyes seemed far too familiar. I am about to ask more questions when the ground beneath our feet best to bshake/b. The bowl in my hands slips to the floor, and the beads hanging from the ceiling keep ttering together. I grab the cot with bone /bbhand /bfor stability. and with the other, once again, cover my stomach.

    We both look at each other, confused, waiting for the other to give an answer.

    “An earthquake?” I ask.

    Evanora remains silent, and for a moment I think I see her sniff the air.

    “I smell power. I don’t think this is a natural earthquake.”

    I hold my breath as I realize. I know no one else capable of doing something like this except him.

    “Evanora…” I say, my voice guilty. “I think I know who it is.”

    “Me too.” Her expression is serious. “Did you ask him toe?”

    I shake my head.

    “Then he won’t enter until you want to see him.”

    “He’s going to kill us all.”

    “Good thing I’m friends with hispanion.”

    She winks at me, and an involuntary smile escapes my lips. I don’t know what I will decide, but I know there are people who care about me, who will respect my choicei, /istarting with the brute who has shaken the camp. I know him in a way that sometimes surprises even me; nevertheless, I know we are a team, I am his equal, and he will support me. Always.

    iAD /i

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