bChapter /bb192 /b

    It’s not that I don’t understand his reasons for feeling wary. Having within reach the possibility of preventing the death of a loved one is too tempting a fruit not to fall into temptation. Sometimes life must be allowed to take its course, but I am not willing to ept an early end for those I love, especially not because of a war whose main cause is me. As much as this means ying with destiny, before me lies a possibility impossible to ignore. We walk back to that little cabin by the sea that is now my home here. We stop at the threshold, and for a few seconds it feels as though we both want to say something but neither dares to be the first.

    I take a breath. I begin to feel a little guilty for the words I hurled in a moment of anger, though no less sincere for it.

    “Where is she?”

    There’s no need for me to specify for him to know who I mean.

    “Do you remember the cabin where we first met?”

    “In that sort of limbo?”

    He nods.

    “She’s there, regaining her strength.” His face darkens and his gray eyes shadow until they’re nearly ck. “She needs to be in the best condition to face what will undoubtedly be something harsh.”

    “How do you endure it?”

    “I don’t endure it,” he confesses. “Every time I see her give in and abandon me, my heart breaks a little

    more.”

    “Why don’t you stop all this?”

    “She wouldn’t forgive me. This world as we know it wouldn’t survive such a battle, and for some time now, I’ve had more things to fight for. You.” I want to believe his words so badly that it hurts. “Now also the child you’re bgoing /bto bring into the world. I wouldn’t forgive myself for putting you in danger that way either.”

    “Isn’t there any way that…i?/ii” /i

    “Don’t worry about that now,” he cuts me off. “You have more pressing battles to fight, don’t you think? Your mother and i will find a way, but not now. The priority is something else, it always has been.”

    The rest is implicit in his gaze i smile, though it’s a smile halfway between sadness and remorse. I grasp the doorknob, and giving him onest look, I step inside the cabin where the fire is already lit. Cassian is standing before the mes, his face thoughtful I approach slowly, though I know he’s aware of my presence. I wrap my arms around his body and rest my cheek against his back, inhaling the scent of the dark night that always clings to him.

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    “Drystan is here,” he announces.

    His tone is solemn, and I know the bubble is about to burst. I squeeze my arms tighter around him.

    “What’s going on?”

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    “I don’t know, I haven’t spoken to him. I was waiting for you.” He turns slowly and covers my hands with one of his. “He’s at the camp’s edge, waiting. They won’t let him through.”

    “Then let’s see what happens.”

    I am more than determined to head out the door when Cassian holds me back, pulling me until I’mpletely engulfed in his body. He tightens his arms around me and rests his chin atop my head. I think I can feel him breathing in the scent of my hair while his hands continuously move up and down my back and arms, as if no caress is enough. I bury my face in his chest, hoping his attentions willfort me a little. I hear him exhale slowly and then seek my face, cupping it in his hands.

    “Now we can go.”

    A small smile spreads across my lips. I nod, clinging to his hand as we walk in silence through the camp until we reach the end. Evanora is already there, arms crossed over her chest and her expression stern. Though invisible to the eye, it’s clear there’s a barrier separating the camp from the rest of the world, and Drystan is unmistakably on the other side.

    “Does he know?” I whisper.

    “I thought it best to tell him in person, since this concerns both of us.”

    Cassian releases my hand to step closer to the boundary, while the banshee retreats toward me. The right hand of Cassian cannot contain his smile at seeing his friend and, fleetingly, he casts me an affectionate look, to which I respond with a small nod.

    “What’s the matter?”

    Drystan rummages binside /bhis jacket and pulls out a small rolled piece of paper. He tries to hand it to Cassian, but sparks re at the first attempt. A faint trace of smoke curls from one of the paper’s corners.

    “I suppose I’ll have to tell you myself,” he says, throwing a nce at Evanora. Something tells me this was just an excuse toe and be near her. “The Council is calling a meeting with you.”

    “For what?”

    “To discuss the future of the Pure now that it’s known the shapeshifters have grown stronger and, of course,

    to speak about… ra”

    “There’s nothing to discuss about her.”

    “Cassian, think about it–maybe you won’t get another chance to sit at the table and negotiate. Next time you may face them in the middle of a bloodbath. You have to go, exin to them what ra is, what she’s capable of, and make the limits clear. You’ll have Ciro and Abraxas’s support, I’m sure. In case of a vot-”

    “ra is not going anywhere,” he interrupts.

    “But you have to-”

    “She’s pregnant.”

    I see that moment as my chance to step in. I walk toward them, knowing my dress hides the small bump of my belly. The Pure’s gaze travels down my body with absolute disbelief. I have to bite back augh at how his face pales even further. He opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, unable to find words. Evanora lets out something like a snort as she walks behind me, like a guard dog.

    “You’re joking.”

    “I hope you won’t say the same when you see a little Draven running around,” Cassian says with sarcasm.

    Drystan pinches his arm, not once but twice, checking he isn’t in a dream. He still looks like he’s seen a ghost, unable to tear his gaze from one ce in particr: my belly. A small blush warms my cheeks. I ce my hand over it and draw a shy smile.

    “In case you were wondering, it was an ident.”

    The silence stretches for several tense seconds before everyone, including Evanora, bursts intoughter at myment. Cassian quickly regains hisposure, straightens, and his face sharpens back into

    seriousness.

    “Now that you know, I believe you understand why we can’t expose ra this way. I’ll have to convince them there are greater threats than her on my own.” He casts me a fleeting look. “When will the meeting take ce?”

    “I’d say we’d better leave as soon as possible.”

    And then the bubble bursts. Even knowing the moment woulde when we’d have to part, I can’t help but feel as though cold water has been poured over me. Cassian seeks my hand and, without saying anything to the others, draws me aside just enough to make it feel like we’re alone, even though we’re not.

    “I won’t be gone long.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Do you hear me? Erase that sad expression.”

    “Let me be sad,” I mutter like a small child.

    “You can be sad, but not because of me.”

    A tender smile pulls at the corners of his lips, and unable to resist kissing that smile, I grab thepels of his

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    jacket and rise on my toes to reach his mouth. The kiss is sweet, slow, nostalgic, as if we already missed each other. He pulls away before things be harder. I think he’ll cross the barrier and leave, but instead, he turns back toward me, his steps deliberate. He stops and casts a fleeting nce into my ieyes /ibefore lowering it to my belly. He ces his hand there for a moment, closes his eyes, takes a breath, and then, finally, he leaves without looking back.

    Drystan gives me a farewell smile, and both of them vanish in seconds. I remain standing there, ovee by a terrible cold, not even feeling my friend’s hand as she sets it on my shoulder.

    “Everything will be fine.”

    I close my eyes and pray, not knowing to which god, that it’s true–even though deep down I know none of them truly hear my prayers, not even Atarothz.