bChapter /bb2 /b

We reach theke, walking arm in arm, and I end up getting blost /bwhile staring at the bwater/b. Lea is lucky. Her sister’s sacrifice meant her family’s Libris bwas /bsealed.

Once sealed, it’s considered that the family has already paid enough. The parents give up their firstborn, and in return, they get the certainty that they won’t lose any other children, and a little pouch of coins bto /bfeed themselves for a year. A small alms in exchange for losing a child forever.

*Are you listening to meb?/bb” /b

I blinkb, /bing out of my thoughts.

b“/bSorry.” bI /bsmile, embarrassed. “What were you saying?”

“Don’t worry.” That sad smile again. “I’m sure you bhave /ba lot on your mind. I was saying that yesterday, during the walk with my mom, Felippo, the baker’s son, stopped to chat with us for a while. He couldn’t stop looking at me, maybeb…/bb” /b

“Maybeb…/bb?/b” Her cheeks turn pink. “Do you like Felippo?”

She tries to ignore me, looking at anything but me. Still, I don’t give up and start poking bher /bin the side, forcing her to look at me betweenughs.

‘Don’t be silly, Felippo bis /btoo much…b” /b

“Too what?”

“Too right.”

“Not right?” I raise an eyebrowb. /b“You’re the most correct person I know.”

She unlinks her arm and starts walking backward, spinning slowly bas /bshe talks.

b“/bYes, that’s why I want someone who’s rebellious, adventurous, someone who makes me feel alive. I don’t want something traditional and typical–I want someone who pushes me to do new thingsb./bb” /b

“You want to give your parents a heart attack,” bI /bsay.

Sheughs again, twirling on bherself /bwhile walking along the rest of the path. We reach the end, the bsign /bthat it’s time to turn back and return to thefort of bour /bhomes. I bhave /ba different idea for tonight. We retrace our steps and, when bwe /bbreach /bthe end, I stop in front of Lea and look her straight in the beyes/bb. /b

“Tonight I’m going home alone,” I announceb. /b“I need a bfew /bmoments to myself.”

“ra, that’s not ba /bgood idea. bIt’s /bgetting bdark/b, you can’t go back alone…b” /b

“Lea, please…” I say pleadingly. “I don’t bhave /bmuch time left, soon I won’t bhave /bbthese /bwalks, I won’t have time for myself. Not even to think.”

The rustling of the hem of her bdress /bsounds on the bgravel /bbas /bshees bcloser /band hugs me tightly. I let herfort me, inhaling the sweet violet scent of her hair. I feel the tremble in her shouldersb, /band then I know she’s crying. I try not to let the btears /bcloud my eyes. We’ve been friends all our lives, and one of bus /bhas to bsay /bgoodbye forever to the otherb, /beven if she doesn’t know about my definitive intentions. She won’t receive my lettersb, /bbecause I’m so terrified of my fate bthat /bI n to run from it like ba /bcoward.

“Thereb, /bthere…” I stroked her back in a soothing gesture. “Everything will be fine, I’ll write to you and tell you what my new home is like. It’ll be like I’m hereb./b”

The lie btastes /blike ash.

bShe /bpulls baway /bfrom me, unable to hold bback /bthe sob that bescapes/b. I wipe the tears running down her cheeks with my thumbs and bgive /bher ba /bsmall smile.

“I’ll write you so bmany /bletters,” she promises. b“/bSo many bthat /byou’ll get tired of me.”

“That’s impossible.”

“I’ll tell you all about what I discover in my books, bI’ll /btell you about Felippo and any other whoes around during our walks…”

“bI /bwant the wedding details with Felippo,” I tease. “You’re blushing again!”

b“/bYou’re ban /bidiot!b” /b

She hugs bme /bagain and ends the bfarewell /bwith a little wave of her hand and an exmation.

b“/bbSee /byou tomorrowb!/b”

12:17 bPM /b

As she walks down the path, she turns to look back several times to bsee /bme, and I stay in ce until her orange waves disappear.

I let out the air I was holding in my chest and copsed to the ground, where the vegetation is dull and dry. I don’t bother gathering my skirts–how dirty my dress gets no longer matters.

The bsky /bslowly turns a dark blue and the only sounds apanying me are the breeze, the moving water, and the treetops being shaken. Theke is at one end of the bvige/b, in the most uninhabited area. The first upied house is probably hundreds of meters baway/b. It’s not proper for youngdies toe here, much bless /bstay alone in such a remote and lonely bce/bb. /bMy parents would not approve of this.

I kick off my round–toed shoes and then my tightsb. /bI feel the earth beneath my bfeet /bas bI /bbegin to walk toward the shore.

My body doesn’t get bused /bto the cold–the icy December water bfeels /blike hundreds of needles stabbing into me. As painful have a bgoal /band I’m not going to abandon it.

Ya 3 SUURS ATDgh me tha aumbs my whole body. I

take another step, and then

it bis/bb, /b

I stop. I

bpast /bmy chest, and

My chest protests bas /bmy shivering body presses the boning of my corset into me. I keep moving forward, the water covers me my teeth won’t stop chattering. I can’t feel my toes, and it’s hard to move my hands. I keep advancing a little moreb, /bstruggling to stay on the surface.

Each minute bis /blike a grain falling from an hourss, marking the countdown.

Little by little, my whole body goes numb, the cold clouds even my mind. Small clouds of breath escape my trembling lips.

Therees ba /bmoment when my feet feel so heavy that bI /bstop moving them and remain still, letting my head sink, inch by inch.

bAir /brushes from me when I dive under. The shock of being fully in this cold water is brutal. The bexcess /bcalm in it bis /beven unsettling.”

I sink slowly, suspended in the water, watching my hair float around me while neither my arms nor blegs /bcan make the effort bto /bswim surface. The cold stabs into me like bice /bbstakes/bb. /b

My chest protests. It burnsb, /band I swear hands are pressing against bit/bb, /bpressing it.

and

I open my mouth involuntarilyb, /bsearching for air and finding only water. I chokeb. /bbA /bspasm shakes me, my vision blurs, and the weight of keeps dragging me deeper and deeper.

my

11

body

More spasms run through me, breaking the stillness of the water, and no matter how hard I try to move my arms, they don’t respond.

Even if I want to die, the survival instinct is strong, but I remind myself over and bover /bthat this bis /bwhat I want.

My vision turns treacherous, showing me what looks like a face that vanishes bas /bquickly as bI /bblink.

The edges of my vision go dark, like the borders of a photograph burning.

“You must liveb, /byou bhave /bto blive/bb…/bb” /b

The words are whispered in the bwater/b.

b“/bYou have to blive/bb, /bbyou /bmust liveb.” /b

The weight of my eyelids gets heavierb, /band so does the feeling that something bis /bing toward me.

“This act of cowardice disappoints meb./bb” /b

Something in those words makes me seethe.

They pour into me like acid corroding my bveins/b.

A wave of bshame /boverwhelins me.

bI /bbcan’t /bdo this. bI /bbcan’t /bdo this to my bparents/b. To my siblings.

The Libris isn’t scaled–Ss bwill /bhave to enter the Red Auction bbecause /bof me. bI /bcan’t condemn him to that–this is my burden, mine alone.

Try to open my beyes/bb, /bto fight against the bwater/bb, /bbut it’s toote.

No matter how hard I try, my body refuses to respond.

b“/bStupid girl.”

Hysteria makes me open my mouth again, and water gushes into me, filling my lungs and silencing my screams.

bHair /bcrosses my vision, wraps around my neck like ba /bnoose.

i look up and all I see is ck. I’m far from the surfaceb. /b

12:17 P

That mysterious bface /bis getting closerb, /bcloser, closerb… /b

I lose consciousness momentarily and when Ie to, my face bis /bagainst the shore of theke, stained with wet dirt.

My dress still floats in the bwater/b, and my legs bare /bstill numb.

I press my elbows into the earth to drag what’s left of my body out of it.

My hands trembleb, /band when I nce at my fingers, bI /bbsee /bthey’re purple.

I roll onto my back, with the bsky /bgrowing darker and the moon more bpresent/b.

My breathing isn’t normal–it’s ragged, and my chest makes sounds of agony.

I try to bring my hands up to my mouth to try and warm them.

My legs don’t obey mymands, and my feet are a purplish hue.

The breeze shakes the treetops, and with it, a new whisper reaches me.

“ept your fateb./bb” /b