3 - Collapsing Card House

“Kouta?” Kouta’s teammates asked, watching their usually upbeat and involved friend sit with an expression of utter devastation.

“No...”

“Not like this...”

Kouta remembered every detail of the fight, but only from the moments that cemented his defeat. The backgrounds were fully blurred and unrecognizable. His footwork felt out of place, had he been placed in there again, he would’ve wrapped his own feet into a bow tie.

“No...”

“Nonononononononono....”

“Hey, it’s not all too awful, alright?” One of his teammates sat down next to him, wrapping his arm around Kouta’s shoulder. “Listen, shit like this happens. It felt like the fight was stopped too early.”

“Did he catch you with a sweep?” Another teammate asked. “How’d he get you to fall down in the first place?”

“I think it was a knockdown punch.” Takechi sighed. “I think he snuck an uppercut in while swinging his arms during the exchange, and it connected perfectly. That kind of punch would’ve dropped anyone. Kouta, don’t be too terrified about this.”

“Nononononononono....not like this...”

“Was it really a knockdown? It looked to me like he slipped.” The teammate said. “Sensei, what happened?”

“No, it was a knockdown. But the fight was stopped surprisingly fast.” Takechi replied. “Kouta was defending himself on the ground. I don’t know how or why the fight was stopped like that.”

“I fucked up...”

“I royally fucked up...”

“Yuta’s fighting soon, right?”

“Yeah. He’s there, I just need to grab his gloves cause the dumbass forgot them here.” Takechi sighed. He patted Kouta on the shoulder before leaving.

“Keep yourself together.”

“I fucked up everything I was working for....” Kouta thought.

In every story, in every competition or fight, there’s a winner and a loser. While the winner gets the spotlight, no one gets to hear the loser’s side. Such were words that Kouta had remembered at that moment. He felt comfortable in feeling like the victim of that rule.

He didn’t cry, or break down, or even worse attempt to attack anyone. He just sat down in complete silence and disbelief. All these years and all this sprinting towards the final destination of starting a fighting career, just to trip and fall apart at the very end?

He watched his friend fight, he was putting on one hell of a performance, and would go on to win the fight by submission. His other teammates, a few fights later, also performed, with mixed results. The team’s overall results were a success, but Kouta, in his eyes at least, had successfully failed his life purpose.

...

[BZZZT]

It took Kouta a few seconds to even acknowledge his phone's existence. Everyone was in their hotel rooms, preparing for the flight as their trip was close to ending. He was walking around, overthinking every single detail about a void topic.

“...”

“Oi...Kouta? Hey, what’d you do?!”

“Oh, hey, Nate...”

“Come on, what’d you do?! Tell me you won!”

“I...”

“...”

“I didn’t.”

“Huh?! Wait...how? How’d that happen?”

“I got finished. They decided to stop the fight early even though I was defending myself.”

“W-what? How many rounds did you go?!”

“It happened in round one.”

“Aw, come on, man! Really? That’s...wow, that’s a shame...”

“I don’t know why the fight was stopped so early. I wasn’t used to...”

“Okay, come on now. Kouta, I don’t wanna hear excuses.”

“Huh?”

“It happens alright? You were just...weaker than your opponent.”

“Oi, you know that if I had-”

“There’s no room to complain here. Why are you...whatever. Listen, just take this as a lesson to work even harder.”

“Dude, do you know how hard I already worked-”

“Clearly not hard enough. Listen, just...I don’t wanna do this now. We can talk when you’re over here. Gary wants to call you too, so...yeah. Just keep your head up, okay? Shit like this happens. Take care, get some rest.”

He hung up the call and got up from his hotel room’s old bed. He walked around, constantly overthinking on how that call would unfold. Eventually, his storm of thoughts was interrupted.

[RING]

“Oi! What did you do, you fucking killer?!”

“I lost.”

“Huh? How’d that-”

“Round one finish. The refs stopped it too early.”

“Wait...w-what do you mean stopped too early? You got finished?”

“Yeah. They literally stopped it while I was defending myself-”

“You said you’d win, right?! We had all hopes in you.”

“I expected this reaction.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint you, man.” Kouta sighed.

“Disappointing me? Dude, you’re not only talking about some ref, but you also lost after making all this hype about yourself...”

“Look, I already said, man. If at least the fight went on without that stoppage, and I lost there, it would’ve been a fair fight. I wouldn’t say a thing.”

“Did you even report it?”

“Huh?”

“Did you report it?!”

“H-how was I supposed to-”

“My God, Kouta, you’re such a bum. Why didn’t you and your sensei go to the judges and report the decision?! You’re both bums.”

“Huh...?”

“You’re both bums. You and your whole team of random fighters that no one hears about. If you went to the gym my cousin goes to, not only wouldn’t you be like this, you also wouldn’t be weak enough to get finished. We’d get you a better result.”

“What?!”

“Weak...?”

“Hey, Gary...” Kouta said, strangely calmly, mentally preparing to unleash a verbal hellfire at his friend. ”How many tournaments have you been in?”

“Huh? Why does that matter?”

“Answer the fucking question. How many have you been in?”

“That doesn’t matter! You’re the sportsman, you’re the one supposed to train! And don’t yell at me!”

“What?!”

“I’m off.” Gary said, before the call was hung.

It was like this all throughout the rest of the night. Kouta was stuck inside his own head. The team had their champion - one of the younger competitors, and Yuta managed to snatch a bronze medal after a long and hard fight. But Kouta was shaking from embarrassment just thinking about the people’s faces when he’s seen.

Throughout his journey as a fighter, he was constantly hailed as a talent with immense potential, a striker with good technique, solid battle wits and immense heart. All that remained now was an empty shell. Kouta sat down on the bed and gripped his own hair, unable to process whatever was going through him at the moment. He knew the true stakes of this fight better than anyone.

“Are you done with the phone calls?” Yuta said, entering the room. He was awkwardly waiting outside all this time.

“I don’t think they’re ever gonna call me again...” Kouta sighed.

“Damn...” Yuta didn’t know what else to say.

“Yuta, how does it feel?”

“Hm?”

“How did it feel to win?” Kouta asked.

“Well, it felt great. It felt like I was at the top of the world.” Yuta said. “I won, our team won, but... yeah, it feels like shit seeing you like this.”

...

“Just as I expected.”

“The airport was full of warm greetings for our team. But amidst all those cheers and congratulations, I couldn’t sense a single word of comfort. No one looked at the loser.”

“Until...”

“Oi, Kouta!” Sakuto exclaimed, waving at him. Kouta slowly approached him, still appearing desensitized. “You good?”

“I’m...fine.” Kouta sighed in response. The rest of the crowd was happy and filled with cheers, chanting the champion’s name. They shared drinks and generously welcomed their new victors. Kouta seemed to be forgotten completely.

“Here, let’s go. Let’s separate from the crowd.” Sakuto said, guiding him further away. “Come on now, talk to me. What the hell happened?”

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“Does it even matter?”

“Huh? What do you mean?!”

“Sakuto, I fucking failed. Why does it matter what happened?” Kouta said, suddenly stopping and standing still. “This was my everything...”

“Hey, it’s not that bad, alright?” Sakuto said. “Listen, in every fight, someone wins and someone loses. Shit like this happens, alright?”

“That’s not what was at stake.”

“Then what was?” Sakuto asked, before briefly falling silent and finding the answer to his own question. “This...had to do with your family situation too, didn’t it?”

“Everyone’s already jumping at me for this.” Kouta grunted after a pause. ”They don’t care about what actually happened.” Kouta sighed. He crouched down, leaning on his luggage.

“What happened?”

“They stopped the fight too early...”

“Damn...” Sakuto said, patting him on the back. “Well, shit, I don’t know what to even tell you. You did your best, alright?”

“It’s just that no one gets it, man.” Kouta exclaimed. Sakuto was a bit concerned as he didn’t want negative attention drawn to them. “From the people that reached out to me, that knew about this...none of them even fucking know how it feels. They shouldn’t even be allowed to speak on this type of matters.”

“Hey, just, calm down-”

“They shouldn’t have any right to judge me!” Kouta broke down. ”They should be allowed to judge only if they stand on the same level as me! Have they ever entered a cage in their lives? Have they ever competed? No! It’s easy for them to yell at people without understanding anything!”

“Kouta, I understand you. I’m on the same level though.” Sakuto said, lightly slapping Kouta. “And I’m telling you that everything is alright.”

“Right...”

“Now, just get your shit together, and...I know it’s gonna be difficult but you’ll have to head home.” Sakuto assured him. “Don’t give up just yet, alright?”

“I...guess so...”

“Kouta, please.” Sakuto said. “Your life isn’t a failure because of one thing. Just...keep going. You have a purpose, alright?”

“What purpose?” Kouta said with a sad laugh. “This was it. I have nothing else to my name.”

“It’s not the end though.” Sakuto reassured him.

Kouta was still crouched, but now, he slowly brought his palms to his face. It was a combination of shame and despair. Small transparent tears soon escaped his eyes, reflecting the airport’s cold lighting.

...

“What do you expect?” Kouta’s father said, after almost completely ignoring his son upon his arrival. “Your mother barely convinced me to give you a chance. We thought you’d bring some pride to our family by being a sportsman.”

“I’m sorry...look, it was because the fight was stopped too early-”

“Kouta, you’re no longer part of this family.”

“...huh?”

“Keep your excuses to yourself, I’m not interested. You failed us, and you showed us your failure as a child.” His father said, taking a shot of sake. His mother had an awfully cold expression on her face. She had unnatural bags under her eyes too.

“Sorry, Kouta, but we cannot allow ourselves to be with you for any longer.” She finally said, breaking the dire silence. “You’ve failed academically, you failed with sports, you failed with every other aspect of your life...”

“...what?” Kouta slowly asked, as his eyes began to tear up. “You too? You’re supporting this nonsense?”

“Sell your fighting equipment and get enough money to change your last name.” His father grunted. “You are not welcome in the Touriki household anymore.”

“W-what? Where am I gonna live?!” Kouta panicked. “Mom...dad...what the fuck is this?!”

“Your mother and I will try for another child.” His father said. “Maybe he or she won’t be a failure like you.”

Kouta at this point was visibly shaking.

“What are you staring at us for? Go on. Don’t ruin our night.” His father said, before turning the room’s TV on and making the volume intentionally very loud.

Without even getting to digest even a fraction of the circumstance, Kouta just turned around and left. He stood outside. It was awfully cold, colder than he’d ever felt in his life. In a completely dissociated state, Kouta just walked across the street.

“What is this...”

He slowly made his way across the streets, with no direction or goal in his mind. It was a moonless and starless sky that acted as silent trumpet to his requiem. After ending up in a part of the area that he knew well but couldn’t comprehend, he took a seat on an old wooden bench. He rested his pale hands on his thighs, every breath he took was more and more distorted.

“I imagined this scenario so many times...sometime I even wished something like this would happen because it’d make for a really cool story...”

“So why am I so shocked now that it actually happened?”

His broken vision could only relay blurred silhouettes to his broken mind. His usually energetic and dreamy eyes were impeached by a hurt and hateful glare of emptiness. He felt cold.

“Mommy!” A little girl exclaimed, pulling on her mother’s hand. “Can we get more ice cream?”

“We have some at home.” She softly replied, patting her head. Although she disliked her daughter’s habits of often preferring outside food to her own cooking, this time she had a reason to feel content.

“But you always say that, you make me eat the food at home!” The girl said, before finally realizing the truth. “You made ice cream? Yourself?” She asked with amusement.

“Yes I did. Since you did your homework for the week, I thought I could spoil you a little.” The mother smiled. “Come on, let’s hurry home.”

“Family...”

Kouta glanced at the encounter. Such a simple display of kindness, a sweet shared memory between two loving people, was enough to light the fuse.

“Mom...Dad...”

His quiet sobs slowly turned into tears. The onslaught of emptiness was no more, now it was a ballet of the dearest tears that had ever escaped his eyes. Gritting his teeth together, he sobbed more and more painfully. The bright and vibrant night lights of the street shined with celebration, it was a welcoming sight for the tired locals or the curious tourists. Occasionally, a car and two would break an otherwise strangely silent road.

“How could I...mess up so bad.”

“How could I let you all down so badly...”

“Dude, what’s wrong with that guy?” A young lad passing by asked his friend. “He’s sitting there alone, crying...”

“Yeah, I see him.” His friend replied, carelessly taking a sip of his beer can. “Maybe his girlfriend dumped him, or he’s mourning...”

“Should we go to him?” He asked.

“Nah, let’s not dig into someone’s business.” The friend replied. “Maybe he wants to be alone.”

“How...did this happen...” Kouta’s own mind was shutting down, as his broken sobs went on. All the years of pleasant memories, special moments and joyful celebrations with a family he was expunged from...all those memories had overwhelmed Kouta’s mind at once.

"Does someone even need me anymore...?"

"Someone..."

"Anyone..."

...

“W-what do you mean?!” Takechi said, after hearing Kouta’s story. Apparently he slept outside for two nights until the gym was open again. “Why didn’t you let me know instantly?!”

“Because I brought shame to you...”

“God fucking dammit!” The sensei yelled. “You didn’t bring shame to me, or anyone in this gym. Kouta, what happened between you and your parents?”

“Exactly what I told you...I’m sorry...”

“Right...” Takechi sighed. “What are you gonna do now? Do you even have a place to stay? Any money?”

“I...don’t...” Kouta replied. “I have some spare savings, but I don’t have shelter.”

“Right. Give me a moment to think this through. I’ll get you somewhere to stay.”

“Sensei, please-”

“A few weeks ago, the gym in Harajuku closed down. It’s owned by no one now, so you’re free to move in and live there.” Takechi said. “I’ll organize it so the bills are paid.”

“I-”

“Kouta, you have truly nothing to be sorry about.” Takechi said, hugging him. “I’m sorry you have to go through this. No one deserves to be treated this way.”

Kouta burst into tears of gratitude and regret. His sensei pulled him closer and embraced him.

“Hey, it’s alright.” Takechi said, caressing Kouta’s head. He himself was tearing up a little.

“I’m...sorry...” Kouta sobbed.

“It was the first taste I got of the abyss.”

“My entire purpose was stripped away from me, leaving me with nothing.”

“Until...”

...

“Should be somewhere here, right?”

“Yeah. The source is super strong...”

Two men entered an abandoned gym building. It was poorly repaired, with various small cracks on the walls and irregular pipework all over the corners. They carefully went over the old tatami mats, looking for any sign of human life.

“Who the hell is it?” An extremely tired voice asked from the gym’s changing room.

“Please come out.” One of the men said. “We need to talk to you about soulful matters.”

“Huh?”

Kouta slowly got up, lazily stretching and putting his phone aside. He had awful sleeping bags under his eyes, and looked like he hadn’t properly eaten in weeks. His hands were scarred, likely a result of all the cheap labor work he was doing for this while.

“My name is Hayk Nakama.” The man introduced himself, and pointed at his colleague. “This is Tsunehiro. We are both soulfuls, and-”

“What about it?” Kouta asked.

“Well, if you’d let me finish.” Hayk commented. “Anyways, we came to you because of a strong soul presence around here. What’s your name?”

“It’s Kouta.”

“Anyways, Kouta...you’re a soulful.”

“Is...this some scam? Who the hell are you?” Kouta said, a bit more aggressively this time.

“Would we really lie to you?” Hayk said, now standing right behind Kouta. Kouta flinched instantly, confused and somewhat terrified.

“This is my soul expression.” Hayk smiled. “Tsunehiro has one too. Now, do you know what your own soul expression is?”

“I...don’t?”

“Do you feel like you’re drawn to a certain type of object or phenomenon? Do you feel like you can do something?” Hayk asked.

“I...don’t...”

“Do you want to turn your life around?” Hayk asked.

“...”

“Then join us.” Hayk said. “You’ll eventually find yourself enchained by the GSC if you continue to live like this as a soulful, and those guys can be a real pain in the ass. Consider yourself lucky that it was me that came to you and not-”

“Sorry, I don’t think I can be one.”

“Huh?” Both Hayk and Tsunehiro were confused.

“By the way you live, I can guess your life went badly, right?” Hayk asked, sitting down on the old and torn apart mats. “You seem like you haven’t talked to anyone for a while. Go on, speak your mind if you want to.”

“I don’t want to burden anyone.” Kouta replied.

“What burden are you to us?” Tsunehiro said. “My friend, there’s no such thing as a burden. We want to understand you, as one soulful understands another.”

“Exactly.” Hayk said. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a pack of chewing gum, offering one to Kouta. “Here.”

“I told them my whole story. For some reason, something in my mind pushed me to tell them everything about my life.”

“They were both strangers, but they heard me out. They asked me about every detail and gave me their support.”

“I haven’t talked to Sakuto in a while because I thought he hated me, but talking to this man called Hayk Nakama felt almost the same as talking to him.”

“So, what do you say?” Hayk asked. “Will you join our side?”

“I still don’t know.” Kouta said. “All this soulful stuff...I don’t know how anything works. I’ll just end up failing everyone again.”

“Then, do you instead choose to live the rest of your life like this?”

“I honestly wouldn’t mind.”

“No, I mean...will you live your life regretting a single failure?” Hayk asked, leaning a little closer towards Kouta. “There’s people that support you. At least, there’s two more of them right now, that’s a lot more than what a lot of other people have. If you lack a purpose, you can find one right now.”

“There’s another such person.”

“Sakuto...”

“He was the first face to actually look at me at the airport.”

“This is a chance for you, Kouta. Embrace yourself as a soulful, and you’ll be able to keep going.” Hayk said. “You’re still a fighter deep down, right? You’ll get to fight like you’ve never fought before.”

“I’ll...accept.” Kouta sighed.

“Great! Welcome to the team.” Hayk said. “I’ll take over management and clean this place up, we can use it as headquarters if you don’t mind. It’s well enough hidden from the public eye.”

“Talk about being a soulful. Hayk, you’re a damn salesman.” Tsunehiro commented.

“Still...it pains me to see children be in this state.” Hayk smiled. “We’re adults. Our job is to look after them.”

“Hayk and Tsunehiro taught me everything and helped me awaken my soul expression. According to them I was the strongest after Hayk himself.”

”They recruited other soulfuls, we had a community where we cared about one another. I was still feeling like a corpse, I felt like I lacked a purpose, I lacked that spark that pushes people to live and to keep going.”

“I somehow wasn’t surprised that the purpose would be given to me by you of all people. Reunited with you, my closest friend and my brother, I felt alive again. I wanted to fight again, be it myself, or through helping you.”

“And now, with you back by my side, and everything set...”

[2024]

“You’re suddenly gone.”

Kouta laid on his mattress with his eyes open wide. The rest of the rogues who were assembled at the gym after their hard-fought battles were all silent. Most of them were simply still in shock.

Kouta had isolated himself in his own room, with the rest of soulfuls all failing to realize just how hard this loss had affected him. Despite the warmth in his room...

...Kouta was freezing.