CHAPTER 117: HER FORBIDDEN TRUTH

Yelena held Mika tightly in her embrace, her cheek pressed against his hair, and for a moment she felt a rush of relief. Relief that he seemed alright again, relief that she had managed to soothe him after his sudden wave of self-blame.

She thought about how hard it must have been for him to say those things, things no one in their right mind would ever say aloud.

Mika was the sort of boy who never showed his most genuine feelings, who always kept them tucked away under layers of jokes and stubborn silence. Yet just now he had opened up so completely, pouring out thoughts he had likely locked away for years.

And he had done it for her.

’He’s adorable.’ She thought, lips quivering into the faintest of smiles as her hand gently stroked the back of his head. ’So, so adorable...and so wild at the same time. I never thought I would see this side of him. I hope...I hope I see it more often in the future. My darling boy, opening up like this...’

But as she held him, another stream of thoughts trickled into her head. Thoughts that refused to leave. Thoughts that curled and twisted until they made her chest tighten.

’He said it was perfect. He said my figure was the perfect body he’d ever seen...’

She gulped as she recalled the words. A boy she had raised with her own hands, telling her that her body, not just decent, not just good—but the perfect figure, one that had even "awakened himself" as he so boldly claimed.

What was she supposed to do with that? How could she not be curious about what exactly he had seen in her?

She chewed her lip, clinging to him tighter. ’What did he mean? Was it everything? Or just one part of me?’

Her thoughts raced. ’Was it the whole of me that stunned him that day? Or was it...my waist? My chest? My legs? What was it that made him lose himself so badly he dropped his sunglasses?’

The more she thought about it, the warmer her face grew.

And then came another thought, one that made her whole body jolt.

’Does he still see me that way now? Or was it only back then?’

Her fingers tightened on his back. She had gotten thicker over the years. Softer in places she used to be firm.

Did he only admire that younger body of hers, the one he saw at the pool all those years ago? Was the body he was hugging now, this body she sometimes looked at in the mirror with a sigh, still one he admired in the same way?

Her heart twisted with a strange mix of dread and desperate hope.

And then...that other comment replayed in her mind. The one that made her breath catch every time she thought of it.

’If another girl had the same body...I would have fallen in love with her.’

The words echoed so loudly in her skull she almost winced. Her face flushed. ’What do I even do with that?’

She wasn’t related to him by blood. He was only her son by relation. The walls of "impossible" between them were thinner than they had ever been. And for a split second, one dangerous, devastating split second, Yelena thought to herself:

’If I wasn’t his mother, the one who raised him..would I have been able to resist him? Would I...have let myself fall?’

Her mind screamed taboo!

It was wrong. Wrong to even think about it. Wrong to even entertain the idea.

But her heart was racing, her blood pounding in her ears.

And worse, her body, oh God her body, was betraying her.

There was an ache, a subtle warmth coiling deep in her stomach, lower, pulsing insistently, a part of her that was craving an answer even as she tried to smother it.

But the more she tried to silence it, the more the thought echoed, ’If there wasn’t this bond...would I have been his lover instead?’

Her cheeks burned. She shook her head, flustered beyond reason, and pressed her lips together until they trembled. She hugged him harder, desperate to bury those thoughts deep into the pit of her chest.

But curiosity, damned, unstoppable curiosity, gnawed at her.

Finally, unable to hold it back anymore, she slowly pulled away from Mika, her arms reluctantly loosening around him. Her cheeks were warm, her lips parted slightly, and her eyes, hazy with embarrassment, locked onto him.

"M-Mika..." She whispered, her voice fragile. Then, with a faint, nervous laugh that couldn’t hide her fluster, she asked. "Can I ask...one question? Just one. It’s...a little embarrassing."

"Sure." He chuckled at her hesitation, leaning back just slightly to look at her properly, his smile disarming. "At this point, Yelena, we’ve already talked about so many embarrassing things...one more won’t hurt. Ask away."

She gulped, her throat dry as she twisted her fingers in the hem of her clothes. The words sat heavily on her tongue before finally spilling out.

"It’s just...that day you mentioned. The swimming pool. You spoke about it like it truly affected you deeply. I..." She paused, her voice trembling as she looked at him with a lingering gaze. "...I want to know what exactly you saw in me. Was it my whole figure that stunned you?"

"Or...was it something specific?"

The question hung between them like a sin. Her heart pounded violently in her chest. She wanted to take it back, to say forget it, but she couldn’t. She needed to know.

Mika, however, didn’t reply at once. He simply studied her, his eyes calm but unreadable. The silence stretched, pulling her nerves tighter and tighter.

At last, he sighed softly, tilting his head.

"Yelena...you know this is a very awkward topic, don’t you?"

She flinched. "I...I know."

"I don’t mind telling you." He leaned a little closer, his voice low. "Truly, I don’t. But if I do, it won’t be wholesome. It won’t be...the kind of conversation a mother and her son should be having." His eyes flickered with warning. "Are you sure you’re fine with that?"

Her mind screamed no. This was a line she should never cross.

But her heart thundered in rebellion, and her body...her body ached with a heat that was impossible to ignore.

She lowered her gaze, cheeks aflame, her lips trembling as she whispered,

"It’s fine...it’s fine, Mika. Even if it’s embarrassing, it won’t change anything between us. You said so yourself, right?" She forced a half-hearted smile, though her entire body betrayed her nervousness. "So...you can say it. Say whatever you want. I’m listening."

Inside, her thoughts were chaos.

’What am I doing? What am I asking?’ Her inner voice screamed. ’This is insane. This is madness. Stop, stop, stop.’

And yet another voice whispered back,

’But you want to know. You’ve wanted to know from the moment he spoke those words. You can’t run from it now.’

So, she waited, trembling, her gaze locked onto him.

Her darling boy...Her forbidden truth.