CHAPTER 69: SOMEONE, PLEASE CUT MY TONGUE OFF!

Charlotte couldn’t move. For a moment, her brain rejected the information outright.

Then it hit her like a tsunami crashing into a quiet beach.

She had just drank bird piss.

Her eyes widened, and she slapped both hands over her mouth. She turned to the plate, the once-delicious meat now sitting like a crime scene in front of her and her body instinctively tried to reject it, she gagged slightly, hunched over like she might puke.

But no. It was already down...Gone down to her stomach.

And realising that it was too late and that she could only blame the person who was the cause of all of this, Charlotte slowly turned to stare at Mika like he’d just strangled her pet unicorn.

"I-I trusted you, Mika." She whispered, dramatically lifting a trembling finger at him as if it were a blade of divine justice. "I trusted you so much."

Mika blinked, still grinning, though it twitched a little under the weight of what was coming.

"Like, so much!" She went on, voice cracking. "Do you remember earlier today?! I jumped off a flying sword! To my death! Because I believed you’d catch me! And you did! So I thought, ’Wow, he’s reliable, I can trust him with anything!’"

"...But what do I get in return?! What do I get?!"

She pointed wildly toward the bowl, shaking with raw betrayal.

"You made me dip my meat into bird piss, Mika! You let me drink bird piss!"

Mika opened his mouth, but no sound came out, mostly because Charlotte looked like she might actually throw the fork at his forehead if he tried to speak right now.

Yelena, still seated and pale as snow, also slowly turned toward him like a possessed automaton. Her hands folded neatly in front of her, but the cold fury in her eyes could’ve frozen time itself.

"You know, Mika..." She began quietly, her voice void of any emotion. "I know I basically forced you to come here. I know I used guilt and emotional manipulation. And yes, I accept that maybe I’ve been a little too pushy with you lately."

"But this...This is not revenge. This is psychological warfare, Mika!"

She said in disbelief like she couldn’t comprehend he would come up with such a way of revenge and then went on to say,

"This is too much, don’t you think? I raised you your whole life. I cooked for you. Cleaned for you. And this is how you repay me? By letting me sip on a bird’s bladder cocktail?!"

She stood up now, stiff and slow, like a villain rising in the climax of a tragedy.

"How could you do this to me?" She asked, gripping the edge of the table with barely-contained rage. "How could you do this to someone who made your lunchboxes until you were eleven?!"

"Okay, okay, you guys are seriously overreacting." Mika raised both hands defensively, seeing that they looked like they were going to strangle him at any moment. "It’s not that bad."

"Not that bad?!" Charlotte turned on him like a feral cat. "Mika, I feel like my tongue is dying! I actually drank bird piss! How am I supposed to live with myself now?! How am I supposed to look anyone in the eye ever again?!"

She flailed and pointed to her open mouth.

"Look at my tongue! Look at it! I have to! I need to carve off the part that tasted evil! That tasted...bird piss!"

She grabbed a spoon and began scraping at her tongue like it was a cursed object.

"Off! Get off! I want a new tongue, damn it!"

Just as he Mika wanted to tell Charlotte to stop, Yelena grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

"Did you forget I have a cooking show, Mika! Do you understand what you’ve done?! Millions of people watch me! Families rely on me to teach them how to make good food!"

"...Without me, marriages will fail! Children will cry! The divorce rate will skyrocket!"

She looked up at the ceiling in anguish.

"But now how am I supposed to cook now?! With my taste buds dead, I might as well retire! Or, no, you know what? I’ll just cut off my own tongue, too!"

"...But first, I’m going to the bathroom to gargle with bleach!"

"I’m coming too, Mama!" Charlotte cried. "I need to vomit! I need to purge this sin! I can’t even think about having bird pee in me without my stomach doing a flip! I need it out!"

Before either of them could bolt from their seats and sprint toward salvation, Mika moved faster. He reached out, grabbed them both firmly by the shoulders, Charlotte on his left, Yelena on his right, and tugged them closer into his sides with a quiet but commanding force.

"Calm down, you two." He said, voice low and easy. "Seriously, you both need to calm down. It’s not that big of a deal."

Charlotte had her mouth open, about to scream that it was in fact the biggest deal of her life, that she’d ingested bird urine, and that her very soul needed cleansing, but the second his arm settled around her shoulder, her words died in her throat.

Yelena too had been seconds away from launching into a scathing monologue, complete with moral judgment and a full-body shake. Her fingers had already curled into fists, ready to punch the very memory of his smug grin out of existence.

But the warmth of his hand resting firmly on her shoulder, him, pulling her in close without a trace of hesitation, froze her.

They didn’t say anything.

Not because they had nothing to say. No, in their heads, the protests were still alive and raging, shouts about betrayal, about taste buds lost to an abomination, about trust shattered and tongues that would never recover.

But none of it made it past their lips.

Because if they did, if they dared to fight back, raise their voices, pull away, he would let them go.

He would release his grip on them.

And why did that matter?

Well, that was becasue he barely ever touched them. He never initiated closeness like this and it was usually them who was getting closing and cuddling with him.

And yet here he was, holding them, grounding them, looking straight into their eyes like it was the most natural thing in the world.

So they stayed quiet.

Their eyes flicked to each other, wide with disbelief but tinged with an almost shameful understanding.

They didn’t want to ruin it.

They were too starved for his affection. Too desperate to stay in that embrace for just a few seconds longer.

So instead of punching him like they absolutely should have, they sank into the heat of his grip, clenched their mouths shut, and let themselves be pulled in. Even if the taste of betrayal still lingered on their tongues.

Even Mika knew neither of them had forgiven him. Their shoulders might have softened, but the tension still ran hot under their skin. They were calm, for now. But it was a calm like the eye of a storm.

So, before they changed their minds and punched him anyway, Mika decided to prove his point, quickly.

He reached for his bowl, still keeping his arms wrapped tightly around both of them, holding them close, and to their utter shock, actually brought the bowl to his lips.

Charlotte stiffened against him, and Yelena tensed. But Mika didn’t hesitate.

He drank.

A long, slow sip, like it was nothing at all. Like he was having plain water.

Then, calmly, he set the bowl back down on the table.

The silence that followed was baffling.

Seeing this sight, Yelena raised a brow at him. Slowly. Dangerously. Then her eyes narrowed as she said,

"Even if you drink that nonsense, along with me, and even if you down an entire bucket of it, I still won’t forgive you for what you did, Mika."

Charlotte gave a sharp, affirmative nod, and then, thwack, bumped her head firmly against his chest, not enough to hurt, but definitely enough to jab in her point.

"That’s not why I drank it, you two." Mika let out a sigh. He then looked at them both, his tone turning serious. "I drank it right in front of you because I wanted to show you it’s not a prank. It’s not poison."

"...It’s genuinely edible, and not just edible, it’s good for you. I’m not messing with you. Just...please. Listen for a second."

The two girls exchanged glances. They weren’t convinced. Not even close. But...

They didn’t move away either. If anything, they pressed in just a little closer.

Not because they were ready to forgive him. But because his arms were warm. And because it felt good to be held like this. And maybe, just maybe, they wanted a reason to listen.

Seeing that they decided to give him a opportunity to speak, he immidietly took it.

"You see, the colorful bird we hunted...it’s not just some pretty tropical thing. It’s a poisonous species, just like a lot of bright-colored animals in the wild."

"The feathers, the meat, the skin, it’s all toxic. If you’d eaten the meat, you’d be convulsing on the floor by now. That’s why I threw all of it out."

Charlotte narrowed her eyes. "So you threw out the poisonous meat...and gave us the poisonous piss instead? Wow. Real improvement."

Mika winced. "Okay first, it’s not what you think it is. Just let me finish."

He gave her a pleading look, then continued.

"The thing is, not all parts of the bird are dangerous. Some are actually valuable. The innards, the liver, the bladder, even the glands, they’re safe, if you know what you’re doing. And each of them has a unique taste, unique benefits. The urinary bladder especially. It’s not like human or animal urine, it’s completely different."

"It stores something else entirely, more like a filtered enzyme fluid. It’s packed with nutrients, and it can even be considered medicinal with how many good effects it has on the body. It can be used in broths, especially for fevers or weak immune systems."

Hearing about this strange piece of information, Yelena’s lips parted slightly, while Charlotte frowned in disbelief.

"That’s why I used it as the base. I extracted the bladder, cleaned it thoroughly, boiled it down, like a bone broth, but with more...kick and served it to you."

"And you expect me to believe this isn’t some elaborate revenge plan, Mika?" Yelena tilted her head slowly.

"You can check it yourself." He said, lifting the bowl and gently handing it to her. "Go to a lab and analyse it."

"...I can even bet that the lab analyst would be in shock and ask what exactly this was in disbelief because it’s basically a super serum that can cure someone’s cold in a matter of hours."

Hearing this, Charlotte squinted at the surface of the broth, then sniffed it cautiously again unable to believe that bird piss was so damn powerful.

"And how exactly..." She asked slowly. "...did you find out that this particular bird bladder was tasty and healthy?"

"If no one else knows about this, how exactly did you find out. What, did you just get curious one day and say, ’Hey, what if I boil this bird’s piss and drink it like tea?’"

Mika blinked at their continued stares and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "That...that’s private."

But when he looked down up again and saw their lingering suspicion, his expression shifted. A small frown pulled at the corners of his lips, and he pushed himself to his feet with a sigh that made both Yelena and Charlotte blink in surprise.

"You know what?" He said, voice carrying a sharp edge that wasn’t usually there. "If you’re still mad about this, I get it. I really do. I mean, sure, who wouldn’t be upset after drinking something they thought was...well, that."

He turned away slightly, shoulders stiff.

"And I’m totally fine." He added, a bitter little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I can just leave. I’m sure you don’t want to keep seeing the face of the boy who made you drink something as disgusting as that. I’ll go, if it makes things easier."

He actually looked like he was about to walk away, his foot twitching like he was ready to take a step.

But before he could even move forward, both Yelena and Charlotte lunged at the same time.

"Where do you think you’re going?!" Yelena barked, grabbing his wrist.

Charlotte clung to his other arm. "No way! Get back here, you little menace!"

They yanked him right back down to the couch, practically dragging him into their arms, and hugged him tightly from either side. Their cheeks squished against his shoulders, their grip firm and warm and unrelenting.

"If we’re mad at you..." Yelena grumbled, squeezing him tighter. "...we’ll deal with it inside this house. You don’t get to storm off like some dramatic soap opera character."

Charlotte nodded eagerly.

"Yeah! Just like Mama said, even if you feed us another weird bird part without us knowing, we’ll just beat you up right here in the living room."

"...There’s no way we’re letting you escape that easily!"

Mika blinked, caught between them, surprised by the sudden affection disguised in form of threats of beating him up. But then he realised what Charlotte had said which made mischievous look appear in eyes

"Oh, really, Charlotte?...You really won’t mind if I feed you random things without even knowing what they are?"

He said slowly, smirking now as he turned his eyes toward the table and then pointed at the half-empty glasses nearby.

"Well, it’s good that you feel that way, as remember that sweet orange juice you were drinking earlier?" He asked innocently.

"Yeah...?" Charlotte tilted her head. "It was orange juice, right? Just a little tangier than normal."

"Something like that." Yelena narrowed her eyes. "A rare citrus maybe?"

But then her eyes widened in horrific realisation.

"Wait, don’t you dare tell me—"

Mika’s grin widened devilishly.

"Yep." He said with glee. "Just like how I got the broth from that exotic bird, that juice came from it too. And that sweetness? It’s not citrus."

"...It’s stomach bile. The bird’s bile has natural sugars. Totally edible. And pretty refreshing too, right?"

The color drained from both their faces at the exact same time.

"YOU...MADE US DRINK WHAT?!" They shrieked in unison.

Yelena looked like she was ready to throw him across the room, while Charlotte’s looked like she was going to chomp on his neck and draw blood.

But in the end, instead of slapping or punching him like they clearly wanted to, they both let out long groans and latched on harder.

"You cheeky little brat!" Yelena growled, tugging on his cheek with both hands.

Charlotte pinched the other side with a scolding smile. "Mika, you jerk! How many times are you gonna make us drink weird bird stuff?!"

Mika winced dramatically. "Ow, ow! Hey, hey, go easy on the merchandise!"

But neither of them let go. In fact, they just used the cheek-pulling as an excuse to hug him even closer.

Yelena also felt her expression soften as she rested her chin on his shoulder. Her grip around him tightened just a bit, and a gentle smile crept onto her face.

God, this brought her back.

The noise. The teasing. The way they were barely getting any food in because of how much they were bickering and laughing, it all reminded her of a time when the table had been loud and chaotic and full of life.

A time she missed more than she’d realized.

He hadn’t even been back for one day...and yet here he was, already pulling her back into that old warmth. Filling the silence again. Stirring the home awake.

She didn’t say it out loud. But as she smiled quietly, still holding onto the boy between them, she thought to herself, I’m so glad he’s back...