CHAPTER 49: MADNESS.

Considering the fact that madness could be seen as the evolution of mutation or uncontained emotions, it stands to reason that the emotive chains could potentially bind the emotional triggers, or at the very least, stabilize the emotional waves—the plethora of dark emotions that lead to madness—thus eventually suppressing or delaying it.

Right about then, a frown crept up on my features.

But in this case, the source of madness is a "fallen being." Hence, it would require multi-layered bindings and immersive clarity to keep it in check. And to make matters worse, madness isn’t static.

The frown on my face deepened. ’It’s fluid, it morphs, adapts, and sometimes, it feeds on the very chains meant to bind it. And while emotions are discrete and comprehensible, madness is contradictory and irrational, making it harder to define or target.’

"Hence harder to keep in check."

And that wasn’t even the worst of it all.

My face paled. ’The worst thing was that binding madness could result in the emotive chains being tainted or becoming unstable, especially if the chains reflect the binder’s mental state. In this case- my own.’

Though if that were to be the case, then I probably had nothing to fear.

The reason?

My inner state, or rather, my soul space, was somewhere even I myself couldn’t enter. As though it wasn’t mine. Apart from summoning things from it, and keeping things within, I had no other dominion over the soul space.

’I could only imagine the dreadful reason behind it.’ I shuddered at the thought.

Rubbing my temples, I muttered under my breath, "However, on the bright side of things, binding my emotions can indeed keep the [Monochrome Thorn] in check. If only barely."

...I could bind the roots, but binding madness itself was like chaining molten fire. Possible, yes. But dangerous. And worse still, it may cost me my sanity.

Thinking about the little experiences I’d with emotions, I thought in exasperation, ’I could indeed do all that and even more. But at the end of the day, to truly bind madness, I had to understand it.’

How could you control what you had no knowledge of? However, at the same time, that very understanding could bring my fractured mind closer to it. C-closer to madness.

I exhaled and stared at the lightless void above. A few moments in total silence passed by. It was then that the thought came to my mind.

"Hmm, I haven’t even seen what the [Monochrome Thorn] looks like," I muttered under my breath.

Raising a brow, I summoned the arcane relic from my soul space. Shimmering specks of light surrounded me for a split second, before congealing into a single ball of light. The light slowly faded into the dark, replaced by a pendant.

It was a twisted silver-back pendant in the shape of a cracked mask. Save for the fact that this mask was weeping obsidian blood, perfectly encapsulating the theme of Azrael’s story. The anguish, sorrow, pain, and the madness, I could feel every single one of them.

It felt as though numerous souls were screaming right into my head, as though to tear it apart. I could have made use of the emotive chains to withstand the passive effect of the [Echoes Of Grief.] However, I wanted to see just how long I could last for.

This way, I would know just how long I could make use of the charm’s passive enchantment, [Fervor Of The Lost], while still being a dormant Arcanist.

Sweat drops poured down the side of my face, and as the seconds ticked by, the piercing screams and the anguished cries echoed through my mind, each seeping deeper into the cracks in my mind. And eventually, just when they were on the verge of breaking through...

’Aah...’

I dismissed it.

"Ten seconds," I said, still gasping for air. Collapsing on my butt, I laid on the floor, trying to calm my rapid, strained breaths.

Ten seconds.

It wasn’t much. But in a harrowing battle, every little bit of second amounted to everything. Just a single second could determine the winner and the loser. And in retrospect, who wins and who... dies.

The thought brought a grim expression to my face.

Exhaling sharply, I glanced ahead and caught sight of the crimson haired lady. She had just finished healing everyone with her flame.

That was also the reason I had stayed away. Knowing that my body would eventually recover by itself, added to the fact that I had no idea if I could stop the chaotic flame if she used her flame on me, I knew it was better to keep a safe distance.

...That was one of the major reasons why I had stayed away from the rest of the cohort for the meantime. The other was because I wanted to sort through my mind previously in shambles and disarray. Which, even if only barely, I had succeeded with.

With a light sigh, I rose to my feet, and walked towards the others.

Step, Step--!

The crimson haired lady had slumped onto a dark rock, her gaze drawn towards Aezel who was watching over the unconscious Livia with an intensity that made me shiver.

It was also in that moment that I thought back to the blind girl’s terrifying prowess, a cold chill running down my spine.

I finally understood why I had always had that strange sense of dread towards the blind girl, right from the very first time that I saw her. And in addition, I finally caught a glimpse of just what she was capable of, apart from her seer’s trait.

Though as I neared them, a single thought came to my mind:

’Is that what it means to be an Arcanist?’

The thought filled me with a sudden surge of adrenaline.

When will I be able to wield such prowess?

I couldn’t help but imagine myself surrounded by thousands of warriors, and then, every single word of mine sends blood splattering into the air, and heads skittering across the floor.

A wide grin slowly crept up my face, and I subconsciously rubbed my hands, an evil glimmer flickering within my eyes. But alas,

"Hah..."

Realization, cruel and cold, slowly dawned on me.

Such a broken ability would definitely have devastating consequences. As Garren had said—the more powerful an ability was, the greater the backlash one experienced when using said ability.

For Mia, it was the pain she had to go through whenever she made use of the flame. For Aezel—it was probably his inability to engage in physical combat—or at least, until he’s forced to his limits.

And then, there was the blind girl who had fainted after making use of her ability. And that definitely wasn’t the only thing.

I could feel it, sense it even, there was a more devastating effect to her ability. And the grim expression on Aezel’s face only further served to strengthen my assumptions.

...The grim expression on his face hinted at something worse- something far darker, a cost which I couldn’t quite grasp.

But for now, it was none of my concern.