CHAPTER 91: CHAPTER 77 XIANLE DANCE HALL

"Can’t you see I’m busy?" Li Banfeng grumbled, straightening the newspapers.

"To save Li Lang, I left my home, who knew he’d win the scholar’s prize by imperial decree~ Oh, my dear, studying by candlelight so late? Are you aiming to be the top scholar?"

She could even sing Huangmei Opera.

"I’m not trying to be the top scholar. I want to see how many enemies I have." The more Li Banfeng read the newspapers, the graver his expression became.

HISS. HISS.

The Phonograph let out a burst of steam.

After clanking twice, the Phonograph sang, marking the beat: "Fear not a multitude of foes. If one appears, my husband slays one. If two arrive, my husband slays a pair. But don’t kill too fiercely; leave a breath in them, and bring them home like produce."

"My lady, that’s exactly what I was thinking," Li Banfeng said, sitting beside the Phonograph and touching the side of the wooden cabinet. "But my enemies all have higher cultivation levels than I do. They’re not easy to kill. If I can’t kill them easily, it’ll be hard to find your ’produce’ too."

HISS. HISS. HISS.

The Phonograph chuckled repeatedly.

Li Banfeng frowned. "What are you laughing at?"

"Husband, your hand is on my ticklish spot."

Li Banfeng quickly pulled his hand back.

That spot was its ticklish spot?

Then what about the other places?

Li Banfeng ran his hands all over the wooden cabinet, and the Phonograph kept hissing with laughter.

"CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. Husband, stop your teasing and listen to your servant. Since you’re a Home Cultivator, you shouldn’t wander about. Stay home more with me, and your cultivation level will naturally increase!"

Doesn’t she know I’m a Traveling Cultivator too?

Dark Matter cannot be observed, which makes cultivation levels invisible.

The Phonograph genuinely might not know I’m also a Traveling Cultivator.

Li Banfeng took out a purple Elixir and asked, "My lady, I want to increase my cultivation level quickly. Taking this Elixir should be somewhat useful, right?"

"How, oh how, oh how to begin~~" The Phonograph sang, the lyrics faltering.

"My lady, why did you stop?" Li Banfeng asked with concern.

"My... my husband, please add some oil for your Little Servant."

Li Banfeng quickly grabbed the Oil Pot and opened the back panel of the Phonograph.

Inside, the connecting rods and gears were densely packed, the mechanical structure quite complex. For a moment, Li Banfeng didn’t know where to start, holding the Oil Pot and applying oil everywhere.

"Husband, that gear is very important; it mustn’t lack oil~~"

"Husband, that drainage valve is crucial; you mustn’t be reckless~~"

"Husband, be especially careful with that bearing; be very gentle~~"

"Husband~~"

"Husband~~"

A few minutes later, Li Banfeng, still holding the Oil Pot, sat down on the edge of the bed. "My lady," he said calmly, "let’s talk seriously. I’m listening carefully."

"Seriously? Why so serious?" CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. The Phonograph fell silent for a moment. "Husband, what about these trousers?"

"Naturally, you’re to wash them for me," Li Banfeng whispered in reply.

The Phonograph let out a puff of steam, seeming somewhat displeased, but didn’t mention Li Banfeng’s trousers again. "CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. Oh, my husband, this Elixir is called the Zihuan Pill. To ordinary people, it’s priceless, but to you, it’s of little use."

"How so?"

"For an ordinary person, consuming this one Elixir is equivalent to a month’s cultivation."

A month’s worth of cultivation?

Li Banfeng’s heart clenched.

A Mysterious Flame Pill, good for ten days of cultivation, could sell for 150,000.

This Zihuan Pill is equivalent to a month of cultivation? How much could it sell for?

The money isn’t the main thing. If I take a few more of these Pills, my cultivation level could improve significantly!

But the Phonograph sang, "Oh, dear husband, you are a Home Cultivator! Your cultivation depends on us, husband and wife, advancing together with one heart. Consuming Elixirs is useless for you!"

So, Home Cultivators can’t consume Elixirs.

Ma Wu did say that Home Cultivators are special, their cultivation relying entirely on their House Spirit.

"Since I can’t consume it, my lady can have it." As he spoke, Li Banfeng moved to put the Elixir into the Phonograph’s water tank.

PUFF.

A jet of steam blocked Li Banfeng.

The Phonograph laughed twice more.

"Husband, you are truly a devoted man, showing such tenderness to your Little Servant. I am overwhelmed by your affection.

This Elixir, husband, you should take it to the market and exchange it for money. What the world sees as a treasure, in your Little Servant’s eyes, is no different from dirt and rubble."

Dirt and rubble? This Pill could probably sell for five hundred thousand!

Li Banfeng snorted and put the Zihuan Pill away.

On second thought, if this Elixir is useless for Home Cultivation, perhaps I can use it for my Traveling Cultivator aspect?

Improving my Traveling Cultivator cultivation wouldn’t be a bad idea, would it?

I can’t let my lady see this. I’ll find a chance to take this Elixir some other day.

Li Banfeng went back to looking through the newspapers. Perhaps because he had oiled the Phonograph today, it was showing particular concern for him.

"Husband~ Tell me about the origins of those enemies."

Li Banfeng described the few individuals from the Jiang Xiang Gang: "One is a Third Layer Martial Cultivator named Hong Gun, one is a Second Layer Bitter Cultivator named Sage, and one is a Second Layer Nightmare Cultivator named Xunfeng."

The Phonograph scoffed repeatedly. "Hah~ Hong Gun handles the fighting, Sage identifies people, and Xunfeng keeps watch. So many years have passed, yet the rules of the Great Clan Gates remain unchanged.

Husband, as for that Third Layer Martial Cultivator, you’d best not provoke him. In a direct confrontation, you are no match for him.

That Bitter Cultivator from the Taoist Sect is somewhat special; he counters Home Cultivation. Husband, you should also keep your distance from him.

As for this Nightmare Cultivator, he cannot be spared. Though he is at the Second Layer, husband, you still have a good chance of defeating him."

This was exactly what Li Banfeng had been thinking.

Li Banfeng nodded. "I have Yin-Yang Eyes, which give me some advantage against him. He’s the first opponent I’ve chosen. It’s just that he’s at the Second Layer, so a direct confrontation would still put me at a disadvantage."

"Oh, husband, a direct confrontation won’t do. First, you must clear away the little imps around him. Since he’s in the dance hall, your Little Servant has a plan."

"What’s your clever plan, my lady?"

"Husband, lean in close!"

Li Banfeng pressed his ear to the Phonograph’s horn and listened as it slowly sang a verse from "Wanderer Songstress": "My dear husband~ Buy a blank record, Superior Grade vinyl, and pair it with a hard stylus."

After listening, Li Banfeng’s ear was red from the steam.

A hard stylus?

"My lady, do you mean for me to engrave a record?" Li Banfeng understood the Phonograph’s intention.

CLANG. CLANG. "Husband, you are absolutely right."

Li Banfeng nodded, rubbing his bright red ear. "It’s just you and me in this room, no one is eavesdropping. Why did we have to whisper ear-to-ear?"

The Phonograph cooed, "Whispering cheek to cheek, that’s how a husband and wife show their affection~~"

「...」

The next day at noon, Li Banfeng went to Yuanzheng Street and bought a blank record and two hard styluses from a record shop.

Late at night, Li Banfeng put on a beige plaid suit, donned a gray top hat, and arrived at the Xianle Dance Hall.

Xianle Dance Hall was easy to find. It was at the end of Paifang Street, occupying a large, open plot of land that served as its garden, with no other buildings nearby.

As an innocent young man, Li Banfeng firmly believed that Xianle Dance Hall was a place for studying music.

The place indeed did not disappoint Li Banfeng. It was a three-story, peak-roofed, Western-style building of brick and wood, blending Chinese and Western architectural styles.

The First Layer had long, straight lines, open and grand. The Second Layer featured rounded lines, softer and adding more depth. The Third Layer’s lines narrowed, converging at the pointed roof with distinct angles.

Such an artistic building was surely engaged in legitimate business.

As he ascended the stone steps at the entrance, two charming young women came forward to greet him by the archway.

"Sir, this way, please. Are there any young ladies you’re acquainted with?"

Li Banfeng smiled faintly. "This is my first time here."

The two women smiled shyly and led Li Banfeng into the main hall.

Just because they ask about familiar young ladies doesn’t mean the business isn’t legitimate, he mused. Perhaps these young ladies are also here to study music.

Inside the hall, the candlelight was dim, and melodious music played. Several couples were dancing closely on the red carpet.

Seeing how tightly they embraced, Li Banfeng considered it a normal expression of being engrossed in the music.

All his attention was on the music; he was trying to find its source.

There’s no band in the hall. Where is the music coming from?

Next to the staircase, Li Banfeng saw an enormous Phonograph. A man in a plain white suit was slowly turning its crank.

It was a hand-cranked phonograph. The tempo of the music depended entirely on the operator’s skill, which required considerable proficiency.

Li Banfeng’s brow smoothed, and a smile touched his lips.

This is the phonograph I was looking for. If it wasn’t here, this trip would have been for nothing.

A woman approached him with a sweet smile. "Sir, would you care for a dance?"

Propriety dictated that Li Banfeng should not refuse a lady’s invitation to dance.

However, the upbringing Li Banfeng had received since childhood did not permit him to accept.

Because he didn’t know how to dance.

"I’m sorry, Miss, but I don’t know how to dance," Li Banfeng replied truthfully.

"Don’t worry, I’ll teach you." The woman took Li Banfeng’s hand and led him to the center of the dance floor. She had him place his arms around her slender waist, and they began to move slowly across the floor in time with the music.

Dancing wasn’t difficult; one just had to hold on tight and step with the music. As a Traveling Cultivator, Li Banfeng had very steady footing.

This was a conscientious young lady, and her conscience pulsed in Li Banfeng’s arms, in time with the music.

Dancing is fine, but stop groping me!

Li Banfeng’s gaze never left the Phonograph. He thought it looked much more appealing than the lady.