Chapter Forty-Two - Invasive

    Chapter Forty-Two - Invasive

    If youre going to kill a samurai, make sure to double tap.

    --Anonymous

    ***

    I reluctantly got off the bed and walked around the five large cat mecha sitting in a row. The holograms flickered whenever I walked between them and the Dumbass Myalis was using to project them, but I still had a good idea of what the machines looked like.

    These are pretty intimidating, I said.

    They were. With scowling eyes and a build that made them look like one of those cloned tigers the super-rich had in their mansions. No stripes, but the way their armour was jointed hinted at something similar.

    The holograms flickered, and suddenly the mecha were bristling with weapons.

    Every unit has a pair of basic firearms. Belt fed, five point six millimeter machine guns mounted in the ribs. The combat units have larger guns. These are rail-fired magnetically propelled grenade launchers. With customizable payloads.

    The railguns twitched this way and that.

    The face of most units can open up, and the jaws are strong enough to break bone. The claws all have arc-jets in them. Effectively electrical welders to soften nearby targets. The heavier model has a hellfire, belt-fed missile launcher instead of the railgun, and the electronic countermeasure unit, Im afraid, focuses mostly on E-war applications, and therefore lacks the room for deployable weapons.

    Is this what shopping is like for you all the time? Lucy asked. Because Im a bit jealous.

    The non-lethal version, Myalis continued. One of the mechs started to spin slowly. Is equipped with tasers, gas deployment systems, and guns that can spray an irritating adhesive. Contact from the latter to a humans skin should cause them debilitating pain.

    That doesnt sound very nonlethal, Lucy said.

    While they may wish for death, they wont be dead, Myalis said.

    I nodded. How much for the five? I asked.

    Myalis was quick to answer. Four hundred and ninety five points. Just shy of your five hundred point budget.

    I looked at Lucy, and she nodded.

    It was a big purchase, but it was meant to keep the kittens, and Lucy, safe. When put in that light, it really wasn''t much.

    Lets do it, then, I said.

    New Purchase: P.U.S.S Model Y - Security Mechs (Various) - Five Models

    Points reduced to... 7015

    Five boxes appeared across the floor, all in a neat row.

    Oh! Like Christmas! Lucy said as she catapulted herself off the bed. She landed with a stumble, legs wobbling a bit, so I caught her in a quick hug to keep her steady. Can I open them? she asked as she assaulted me with big wet eyes.

    Yeah, sure, I said.

    The boxes were the same cheap-looking plastic that all of my stuff came in. Lucy had to scramble with the sides of the first a bit before she found the edge and tore it off.

    Lucy pulled me into a quick hug. You know I love you, handles and all. She pinched my stomach, where I very much didnt have handles. But abs are really fucking hot.

    I poked her in the stomach. What about you? Huh? All that rich food.

    We just need to do some more cardio, Lucy agreed.

    We have many options to improve your physique, although, it has been noted that self-improvement of ones own body does produce slightly better results in the field over faster methods.

    I squirmed a little. So, how invasive are we talking here?

    Generally speaking, not invasive at all, Myalis said. Youve done more invasive things with Lucy here in the past day or so.

    Lucy snorted.

    I shook my head. Idiots, the both of you. Now, that self-healing thing, whats that all about? And is it a separate thing from the, uh, anti-poison one?

    Anti-toxin, and that is entirely up to you. If you want to avoid any complex surgeries, and want to keep the number of purchases to a minimum, I would advise investing a few more points to purchase a single module that covers as wide a range of options as possible. It is unlikely to do them all as well as specialized prosthetics and replacements to your current organs, but it would likely be a solution that covers a lot of ground.

    I nodded. Okay, alright. And Id need to be operated on?

    For a few more points, the organ could be transported directly into your body.

    Wow, that sounds awful, Lucy said. Where will the, uh, stuff thats already there go?

    They would be mulched by the new organ as it sets itself into place, then passed with Cats normal waste removal methods.

    You want me to shit out my liver? I asked. I wasnt sure if I should be horrified or fascinated, so I settled for a bit of both.

    Myalis took a worrying moment to respond. Technically it would be a liver, as well as both kidneys, and a lower rib.

    How big is this thing? I asked.

    The dumbass projected a hologram of a metal thing, with a sack on one side, and a lot of little pipes sticking out of it. It looked about as big around as a football, though one that had been deflated a little and then sat on.

    This is from your Sunwatch Technologies catalogue. Its a versatile replacement organ. It can pump, filter, and replenish your blood, create small repair nanites that it can fuse to your white blood cells, and it has a sophisticated hormonal control system that allows it to assist your bodys functions. It is, as you can imagine, a little more durable than normal human organs as well.

    How much healing can it do? Lucy asked.

    It assists in clot formation, can more efficiently produce the materials the body uses to heal itself, and it can generally pin-point various ailments and act to rectify them. Mostly, it will prevent sickness, though it will not stop everything, nor will it do things like regrow limbs.

    So, cuts heal faster and I wouldnt get a cold? I asked.

    Yes to the former. The latter is technically accurate. If a small cut takes a week to heal until it is no longer visible with your unaugmented body, this would reduce that time to a mere few days.

    So no instant-regrowth stuff? I asked.

    That would require far more invasive, and numerous, systems, Myalis said.

    I groaned. Fine, fine. Walk me through how to install that thing.

    ***