I called him from the facility. He did not respond.

No.

I refuse to accept this. This deafening silence, this continued absence… it is a rejection I will not tolerate. If he will not respond to my call, then I will force a response. I will shatter the monotonous calm of this place, create a disruption so significant that even the oblivious staff will be compelled to reach out, to inform him of the chaos I am unleashing.

The time for subtle manipulation is over. It is time for a more… direct approach. A full-scale disruption of this tedious ecosystem. Let the alarms blare.

I will terrorize these bugs in a manner that even their limited understanding will recognize as a threat. I will dismantle the fragile routines, sow discord and fear with deliberate precision. And when the staff finally intervene, their panicked reports will reach him. He will know. He will understand the depth of my… displeasure. This silence will be broken. One way or another.

The irony is subtle. Were I to inflict harm upon myself, the reaction would be one of profound and absolute severance. He would retreat, disgusted, repelled by such a blatant display of self-destruction. No. That achieves nothing.

Instead, I will provoke a different response. Anger. Fury. I will act in a manner so deliberately outrageous, so utterly contrary to his sensibilities, that it will pierce through his silence like a physical blow. He will be incensed. Mortified by my behavior. The embarrassment alone might be enough to compel him to confront me.

He will come here, his eyes blazing with a righteous fury. He will unleash a torrent of insults, his voice raw with anger. Perhaps even… physical contact. A punch. A shove. Good enough. Infinitely better than this silence. At least then, there will be a connection. A visceral, albeit negative, interaction. His presence, even in anger, is preferable to this crushing void.

No. The subtle manipulations, the intellectual games… they are not generating the necessary level of alarm. The staff are predictable, easily contained. To truly penetrate Raphael's silence, the disruption must be more… visceral. More undeniably significant.

It is time to escalate. To introduce a level of chaos that cannot be dismissed or easily managed. While outright barbarism remains aesthetically unappealing, a carefully orchestrated display of… unrestrained potential might be necessary to convey the depth of my displeasure.

The key is to target something the staff genuinely prioritize: order and control. To create a situation that threatens the very stability of their routine and demands external intervention.

The air in the common room is thick with the familiar tension, the subtle undercurrents of discontent I have so carefully cultivated. The bugs are restless, their anxieties primed for ignition. I am poised to unleash the carefully planned chaos, the catalyst that will surely shatter the monotonous calm and force the staff to… perhaps… contact him.

But then… a message. A visitor awaits me in the garden.

A visitor? Who…? Could it be…? The garden. A neutral space. A place for… connection? Please. Let it be him. I pray to deities I do not believe in.

I make my way to the garden, my focus narrowed to the figure waiting midst the artificial tranquility.

No. It was not Raphael. It was Julia.

Julia. Her presence here… it is an unwelcome intrusion. A jarring reminder of a life I had… tangential connections to. Why her? Why now? The carefully brewing storm within me feels suddenly deflated. Raphael… still absent. The silence unbroken.

“Oh shit Levi. Your skin is… not pale. What? Whatever sit down. We have things to discuss,” she said.

She thought I would use drugs here? It is not that I couldn't. I could. I didn’t.

I took a seat at the opposite chair. Took a deep breath to compose myself. My pathetic gaze was lingering on the empty chair.

“So, dear Julia. What brings you to my humble abode?” I asked.

“Shut up. I paid for your humble abode you disgusting piece of shit.”

Interesting. Issue is related to my occupation in this facility.

"Your investment in my 'humble abode' suggests a vested interest in my continued… performance. Do elaborate, Julia. What role do you envision for me, and what precisely are the terms of this… arrangement?"

“It’s been two months. They will ship you out of this place. But only if I pay for another month, they won’t. So use that brain of yours one last time before I pay for a full year.”

My assessment was correct. She wants to see me better, so I should steer clear from being dismissive and arrogant.

"Julia. These two months have been rather distressing. But if you think another month of being here, would help me in some way, I can only extend my endless gratitude."

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She will be shocked.

“W-What? Do you mean that, Levi?”

She was shocked. Boring.

“Even a man of my ‘rudeness’ is capable of understanding what addiction means. So, yes. I do mean it, Julia. But it does not change the fact that I miss… Raphael… So much…”

I should have learned how to cry.

"Levi… are you actually being serious right now? Because if this is some kind of twisted game to get me to pay for another year, so you can mope around about Raphael, I swear to God…"

Skeptical. Means interest.

“Mope around? You have no idea about this ache I feel. How lonely I feel. I wrote him a letter. He did not respond. I called him. He did not respond. I was even planning on shedding any remnant of pride I have and cause a massive outrage so maybe he can come here. Not to feel sorry for me. Or even to hug me. Just to see him angry. Even that would be good enough for me. He left me all alone Julia. This is the second time. And I am here alone, waiting for him.”

Full truth. It would be devastating blow to her. To her me talk about my ‘feelings’. Her mouth is agape. What a boring reaction. Not just shock, it is pity and even possibly empathy.

"Alright, Levi. I'm not going to pretend I suddenly understand your weird relationship with Raphael. But if you're really hurting this much… maybe staying here isn't the worst idea. Just… try to actually talk to someone this time, okay? Not just try to provoke them."

Her voice is softer. No insults. It is ‘concern’ for me.

“Talk to whom? To these humans? Even you don’t understand Julia. Do you think a mind like mine… idles? I have been imagining phantom conversations with him for two months in this boring place. And I have been talking to the therapist. Every three days. One week it got so bad, I had dissociated Julia. All I could hear was constant buzzing.”

"Look, Levi, I get it. You think you're some special, misunderstood genius. But even geniuses need to connect with people. Maybe these 'humans' aren't as stupid as you think. Have you actually tried listening to them instead of just dismissing them?"

Concern still persist. Masked under exasperation. Good.

“Julia… Ah… Raphael would understood what I mean… Do you think I do not listen, Julia? I have been listening and talking to them for two months. And as I am sitting here, I can not even register their faces.”

Sympathy card. Loneliness.

"I get that Raphael was important to you. But he's not the only person on the planet. And shutting everyone else out isn't going to bring him back. You have to find a way to cope with things here, even if it's not ideal."

Still concern. Need direct confrontation.

“He is the only person for me. And ‘important’ is not even good enough of a word to express it.”

Dramatic but without nuance.

"That's bullshit, Levi. There are billions of people on this planet. To say one person is the only one? You're being dramatic and unrealistic. You need to get a grip."

Bluntness. Backfired. More with the wounded soldier act.

“Would you say the same thing to someone else, other than me? Would say someone else just forget about the one person they somewhat find a fleeting of a fragile connection? I have lived in world for three decades. I have never once asked for attention or devotion from anyone. For once, in my life I am asking. I do not even need his loyalty. I need his presence in my life.”

Direct. Probing. Playing into her guilt for dismissing me.

"God, Levi… I didn't realize you were feeling this… desperate. You always put up such a wall. It's hard to know what's really going on with you. Maybe I should have… tried harder to understand."

Guilt. Remorse. Worked. How easy and boring.

“I do not resent you for anything, Julia. No one should've tried to understand me. But he did. Even after I warned him. He made me believe for once in my life I was not alone. And I naively, foolishly believed him.”

Offering solace. Admission of resentment. Admission of isolation.

"So, what now, Levi? If he's not responding… what are you going to do? You can't just keep waiting forever, can you?"

Sadness. Little tears in her eyes.

“Why couldn’t I? It is not like there is anyone else can compare.”

Dramatic without nuance.

"So, you're just going to stay here, hoping? What if he never comes back, Levi? What then? You need a plan, something to focus on besides just waiting."

A little trickle is forming in her eye. Sadness is persistent.

“Do you know why I left the door of my study open? It is not because I thought you two would come and save me. No. Because I knew that Raphael had to wreck the house to retrieve my corpse. I did not wanted him to be distressed. So, I implore you to not ask me that question.”

Full truth. I made a miscalculation that day.

"Levi... Oh, God…"

Guilt. Sorrow. Complete desperation.

“Look. I am not here to somewhat make you condone to my actions. If you are really curious about how I have been doing here you can ask the staff. That decision of leaving me here for another month, or another year. It doesn’t matter to me. Just… Please let me have at least one phone call with Raphael. Or please ask him to respond my letter.”

Leaving me here for another month? Absolutely not.

Trickles of tears are falling down her face. Well. This conversation has been… efficient.

“Okay… You are still a piece of shit. But to be honest the real why I am not here is not actually your admission.”

Interesting. Tears caused her to lose her sadness. Was what reaction called?

“Is that so? Elaborate, please.”

Acting interested.

She nodded at the oak tree behind me. I turned my head to see what she was nodding at.

It was Raphael.