CHAPTER 167: CHAPTER 166 – DRAKANA CHALLENGES LUCIVELLA TO A DUEL... OF WHO CAN SEDUCE REI FASTER

The Central Plaza of the Royal Academy was supposed to be a place for student announcements, casual festivals, and the occasional swordsmanship demonstration. Today, it had been transformed into something far more terrifying:

A glittering dueling arena, lined with banners embroidered with "LOVE OR DEATH," floodlit by magical spotlights, with a crowd of students chanting in equal parts horror, curiosity, and sheer bloodlust.

In the middle of it all sat one poor, suffering duke’s son named Rei. He was tied—no, strapped—into a chair with red velvet ribbons. A glowing crystalline device hovered above him, projecting a huge magical hologram labeled:

BLUSHOMETER (A patented invention of Rosette Inc., now licensed exclusively for "romantic duels.")

[System Message: Please Enjoy This Bonus Minigame.]

[Warning: Excessive blood pressure detected. Please keep a priest nearby.]

[Reminder: You agreed to be the main character. This is on you.]

"Why—why am I strapped to a chair like a sacrificial melon?!" Rei cried, tugging at his bindings.

Rosette’s monotone voice answered from the sidelines, where she stood with a clipboard, three familiars, and a suspiciously glowing detonator. "For scientific accuracy. Also for safety. You’d run away otherwise."

"Of course I’d run away!" Rei snapped. "They’re literally dueling to seduce me!"

The crowd roared as two figures stepped into the plaza.

On one side: Drakana Flameheart, the statuesque dragon warrior, now squeezed into a crimson silk gown that hugged her curves and shimmered with embers. A slit up the thigh revealed dangerous muscle and dangerous intentions. She cracked her knuckles with a grin.

On the other side: Lucivella Nightshade, silver-haired Demon Lord supreme, wearing a black and silver gown that looked like it was spun from midnight and arrogance. A crown of obsidian rested on her head, and she waved at the crowd like she was already queen.

Both of them turned toward Rei. Their gazes alone raised the BLUSHOMETER needle from "Normal" to "Cardiac Danger."

[System Notification: Blood Pressure Spike Detected.]

[New Minigame Objective: Survive The Duel.]

[Failure Condition: Death by Nosebleed.]

[Bonus Objective: Pick a Winner Without Being Murdered.]

The announcer—who suspiciously sounded like Seraphina on a voice-changing spell—declared with way too much enthusiasm:

"WELCOME, STUDENTS AND INNOCENT BYSTANDERS, TO THE FIRST-EVER DUEL OF SEDUCTION! TONIGHT’S CHALLENGE: WHO CAN MAKE OUR HERO BLUSH HARDEST, FASTEST, AND MOST FATALLY!"

Rei screamed into the void: "WHY IS THIS A PUBLIC EVENT?!"

The crowd screamed back: "BECAUSE THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT!"

Round one.

Drakana stomped forward, her gown shimmering, her tail flicking. She grabbed a rose from a basket, crushed it in her palm, and blew the petals toward Rei like dragonfire confetti.

"Mate," she purred, her voice vibrating deep in her chest. "Your heart is already mine. Why pretend otherwise? Let me remind you of our blood pact."

She licked her lips, and the BLUSHOMETER needle shot up so violently it broke through "Critical" and hit "EMERGENCY."

Rei convulsed. "Stop—saying—blood pact—like it’s romantic!"

Lucivella stepped forward next, graceful as moonlight. She merely tilted her head, smiled serenely, and whispered:

"You’re cute. That’s enough."

The BLUSHOMETER exploded in sparks. Students fainted en masse. Somewhere, three ambassadors had strokes.

[That was an instant critical hit.]

[System Suggestion: Carry a fire extinguisher for future seduction encounters.]

Round Two: Verbal Assault

Drakana slammed her fist against her chest. "Listen here, Demon Witch! I was his first! His childhood! His destiny! His everything!"

Lucivella didn’t blink. She sipped tea that appeared out of nowhere and replied smoothly: "First? How adorable. But who will be his last?"

The crowd howled. The BLUSHOMETER needle jittered between "Overload" and "Hospitalize Immediately." Rei choked on air.

"Why does everything you two say sound like either wedding vows or execution orders?!" he demanded.

"Because both are true," they replied in perfect unison.

Round Three.

The announcer bellowed: "AND NOW, THE PHYSICAL ROUND!"

"What do you mean physical?!" Rei shrieked.

Drakana moved first. She crouched low, muscles flexing, and in one smooth motion scooped Rei’s entire chair—bindings and all—into her arms like he was a dainty princess.

"See how well I hold him," she growled. "Like treasure. Like fire. Like... meat."

"Did you just call me meat?!" Rei squeaked, struggling.

The BLUSHOMETER, however, didn’t care. It went nuclear.

Lucivella stepped forward calmly. She leaned in, her silver hair brushing Rei’s cheek. She pressed one soft kiss against his forehead, as casual as if she were claiming property.

The BLUSHOMETER needle melted. Smoke rose. A magical siren blared: "OVERHEAT! OVERHEAT!"

[System Emergency Notification: Your circulatory system is not rated for this level of affection.]

[Please stop being so attractive. It’s inconvenient.]

The crowd was now a mob. Students threw flowers, money, and occasionally rejection letters. Merchants sold "Team Drakana" and "Team Lucivella" merchandise. Choir members passed out from nosebleeds.

Rosette scribbled furiously on her clipboard. "Data collection complete. Preparing countermeasures."

From the sidelines, Lilia stormed in with holy fire. "HERESY! THIS ENTIRE EVENT IS HERESY!" She raised a glowing banner of the Sacred Order of Eternal Marriage.

Seraphina floated down with angel wings, holding a megaphone. "Correction! This is romantic sports! Shut up and enjoy the show!"

Rei’s muffled voice wailed: "How is this romantic OR sports?!"

Both Drakana and Lucivella suddenly turned toward each other. Their auras clashed—dragon flame against demon moonlight.

"There’s only one way to end this," Drakana growled.

Lucivella’s lips curved. "Indeed."

They both leaned toward Rei at the same time.

"WAIT—STOP—HOLD UP—THIS IS AGAINST THE RULES!" Rei cried, thrashing in his chair.

The BLUSHOMETER screamed. The magical hologram above them flashed in bold red letters:

TOTAL SYSTEM FAILURE. USER DEAD FROM FLIRTATION.

Rei’s head lolled back. His eyes rolled. Foam almost formed at his lips.

[System Notification: Congratulations, you have "fainted." Again.]

[New Side Mission: Revive Yourself Before Your Fiancées Start Fighting Over Your Corpse.]

[Failure Consequence: Your funeral will be catered by the Sacred Order of Eternal Marriage.]

The plaza dissolved into chaos. Drakana roared that she had won. Lucivella declared herself his rightful betrothed. Lilia screamed holy exorcisms. Seraphina started selling "I Saw Rei Blush Live" commemorative shirts.

Rosette pressed the detonator, and half the plaza walls sprouted turrets.

And in the middle of it all, Rei sat slumped in his chair, cheeks still crimson, muttering faintly:

"...why... can’t I... just... eat lunch in peace..."

[Please look forward to the next episode of "Romantic Torture Theater."]

[Warning: Your suffering continues.]

But the chaos of the plaza didn’t end there because of course it didn’t.

The crowd of students had gone from "cheering spectators" to "full-blown mob" in the span of sixty seconds. Half were demanding refunds because they’d bet on whether Rei would faint in Round Two, while the other half had started secondary duels in the stands: Team Drakana versus Team Lucivella, now armed with cafeteria trays, hymn books, and questionable alchemy concoctions.

"RIOT! RIOT FOR LOVE!" one student screamed, hurling a baguette like a javelin.

Another yelled, "DOWN WITH BLUSHOMETERS! THEY ARE UNETHICAL!" before promptly collapsing from his own nosebleed after catching sight of Lucivella’s smile.

[Congratulations, Your romantic life has now triggered three lawsuits, one holy crusade, and an internal student rebellion. It’s truly impressive.]

[New Passive Title Unlocked: "Public Hazard (Romantic Category)"]

[Effect: Wherever you go, large groups will gather to riot. Cannot be unequipped.]

Rosette, unbothered by the fact the plaza looked like a war zone, adjusted her glasses and calmly began measuring the angle of Rei’s blush with a protractor.

"Hmm. Seventy-three degrees of flush intensity noted. I will build stronger turrets next time."

"Next time?!" Rei croaked, still tied to his chair. "There is no next time! There shouldn’t even have been a first time!"

Lilia stormed forward, waving her Sacred Order banner so hard sparks flew off it. "THIS IS A SACRILEGE! OUR HERO MUST BE PRESERVED FOR HOLY MATRIMONY—"

A pie hit her square in the face. No one knew who threw it. Choir students gasped, then started chanting, "PIE! PIE! PIE!" until the whole mob joined in.

Rei groaned into his bindings. "I’m living in a nightmare carnival..."

Lucivella, unfazed, lifted her hand. The entire plaza went silent, like the air itself obeyed her. She smiled, slow and sweet, and declared, "Rei is already mine. Today proves it."

Drakana snarled, her gown smoking at the edges. "Over my molten corpse, demon."

The BLUSHOMETER—still sparking, still technically destroyed—managed to wheeze out one final projection in shaky magical letters:

[System Emergency Alert: Duel of Seduction may escalate into Duel of Actual City-Destroying Combat.]

[New Mission: Prevent Catastrophic Infrastructure Damage.]

[Suggested Strategy: Cry harder. Sometimes pity works.]

Rei tried exactly that. He threw his head back and wailed: "CAN’T WE JUST... GO BACK TO NORMAL?! HAVE LUNCH?! TAKE A NAP?!"

Silence fell for half a second. Then the crowd answered with a deafening: "NOOOOOO!"

The riot doubled in size. Someone rolled out a makeshift betting stand labeled "NEXT BLUSH DEATH POOL – PLACE YOUR WAGERS."

Seraphina, still floating above with her megaphone, added fuel to the fire. "NEXT ROUND! BONUS CHALLENGE! WHO CAN FORCE REI TO SAY THE WORD ’LOVE’ FIRST?!"

The students roared in approval. Fireworks shot into the air—where had they even gotten fireworks?—and burst into glowing shapes of Rei’s face.

The poor boy sagged in his chair. "I’m doomed. Absolutely doomed."

[System Consolation Prize: You win one free coupon for therapy.]

[System Disclaimer: Therapy does not exist in this world. Coupon is useless.]

By the time the Academy guards finally arrived, they found the plaza half-destroyed, three professors hiding under a table, a holy choir dueling a demonic cheer squad, and Rei sitting crimson-faced and half-conscious in a chair surrounded by smoke.

The guard captain muttered, "Not again..."

Rei, delirious, managed to croak out: "...still better than toothbrush sabotage..." before fainting a second time.

To be continued...