CHAPTER 194: CHAPTER 193: REALITY CRACKS & ANTI-YANDERE ALLIANCE

The Velvet Castle had endured dragon sieges, demonic raids, divine audits, and one unfortunate incident with exploding fondue. But tonight? Tonight it cracked like an eggshell under the cosmic pressure of too much love literally.

The walls bent inward as if shy about eavesdropping. The chandeliers flickered, casting shadows shaped like throbbing hearts. Outside, the night sky glitched—pixels tearing like bad video compression, stars skipping frames, and constellations reloading with buffering wheels.

And all because the world had too many wives.

"Mine!" screamed Princess Seraphina, summoning a holy blade that glowed brighter than a nuclear angel lamp.

"NO—OURS!" shrieked the newly arrived Cyber Dragon Bride, her mechanical wings whirring with enough power to power an entire city—or vaporize it.

Meanwhile, the Vampire Princess Bride delicately wiped blood from her lips with a silk handkerchief embroidered with Rei’s initials. "Darling tastes better under stress," she purred, ignoring the fact that Rei was currently pressed against the floor tiles in fetal position.

The Eldritch Waifu Bride—an elegant cosmic horror in a dress woven from nightmares and black holes—did not speak. She only blinked. Which was terrifying, because blinking meant every single one of her forty-seven eyes focused on Rei. Each eye had a different shade of longing. One even sparkled.

"Girls," Rei croaked, trembling. "Could we... not...?"

The Goddess Eris sat cross-legged on the throne, slurping noodles with the casual joy of a Twitch streamer watching chat implode. "Oh, don’t stop now," she said brightly. "We’re just reaching the good part!"

The brides lunged at each other.The throne room erupted into the most horrifying—and stupid—catfight in multiversal history. Feathers, steel, fire, plasma, and karaoke machines flew.

Seraphina swung her holy blade, cleaving through half the ballroom table. "Rei belongs to me, the rightful princess bride!"

"Correction," hissed the Vampire Princess Bride, catching the blade with two fingers and smirking, "he belongs to eternity, which is us." She bared her fangs and launched into an operatic karaoke version of ’My Heart Is Yours Forever (Even Beyond the Grave)’.

Lilia hurled herself between them, brandishing a pillow like a knight’s sword. "Step aside, impostors! My love is real, embroidered, and properly documented in a hundred marriage contracts!"

"Pillow weapons confirmed," muttered Rosette, the maid, joining in with dual pillow-blades sharpened with hidden needles.

Drakana roared, wings flaring, launching fire beams across the room. "ANY BRIDE NOT RECOGNIZED BY BLOOD PACT IS AN INTERLOPER!"

The Cyber Dragon Bride blocked with a plasma shield, hissing, "404: Claim Not Found. Rei.exe belongs to ME."

The room descended into madness: vampire karaoke battles, pillow-sword duels, dragonfire clashing with plasma cannons, eldritch tentacles snapping chandeliers like glowsticks.

The castle foundations groaned. The sky outside tore wider, exposing raw code lines of reality: "if (yandere_count 7) then CRASH."

Rei dragged himself toward the one safe place left in the castle: a broom closet. He shoved himself inside, trembling, burying his face in a mop.

"Stay strong," he whispered to the mop. "You’re my only friend."

[System Alert: Emotional Stress at 97%. Suggestion: Hyperventilate Into Paper Bag.]

"I don’t have a paper bag!" Rei hissed.

[Alternative Suggestion: Die and Respawn. Cheaper Than Therapy.]

Rei groaned, pressing his head against the closet wall. "I can’t do this anymore... I just wanted peace! And snacks! Why am I at the center of a multiversal catfight?!"

The castle shook again, and the mop clattered against the wall. The cracks in reality widened, neon light bleeding through like a broken television screen.

And then— The glow intensified in front of him. A silhouette stepped out.

Rei blinked. The figure was tall, slightly slouched, with the world-weary aura of someone who’d worked three shifts in a row, missed rent, and accidentally subscribed to five streaming services he couldn’t cancel.

The figure had short black hair, tired eyes, and... a hoodie.

"Uh," Rei whispered, "are you... me?"

The figure adjusted his glasses. "Yeah. I’m you. Past you. Earth you. The one who got accidentally smote by lightning meant for a cockroach."

Rei blinked again. "Holy crap, I’m hideous."

Past Rei squinted. "Wow. Thanks. I was going to say you look like a discount prince on loan from a soap opera, but let’s not throw stones in this glass castle of trauma."

They stared at each other. Outside, another explosion rocked the castle. Someone shouted about karaoke being unfair because tentacles count as extra microphone holders.

"Why are you here?" Present Rei asked, trembling.

Past Rei sighed. "The Goddess pulled me. Said something about ’backup files’ because you’re about to get obliterated by love pressure. Apparently, when reality crashes, it restores the last save point. Surprise, that’s me."

[System Emergency: Partnering With Past Self Approved.]

[Warning: Doubling Of Rei Units May Cause Existential Snark Overflow.]

Present Rei blinked. "Wait—you’re saying... you and me..."

"...need to work together," Past Rei finished. "Yeah. Anti-Yandere Alliance. Two idiots, one mop, against the multiverse."

Rei laughed hysterically. "That’s not an alliance! That’s a bad sitcom pitch!"

Past Rei grabbed the mop, holding it like a spear. "Better than nothing. You’ve been running scared, trying to survive their affection. But I know how we think. If anyone can resist yandere hell, it’s us."

Present Rei’s lip trembled. "But... they’re scary. They’re hot and scary!"

Past Rei shook him by the shoulders. "Listen, you coward! You’re not just prey anymore. You’re us—the man who survived 25 years of tax audits, student debt, and family WhatsApp groups! If we can survive that, we can survive anything."

[System Encouragement Protocol Activated.]

[Motivational Quote: "Even Trash Has Value If It Avoids The Dumpster Fire Long Enough."]

Rei sniffled, wiping his nose. "You’re right... I am trash... but I’m recyclable trash!"

"Damn straight," Past Rei said, smirking.

Together, they bumped fists.

The broom closet glowed. For a moment, reality steadied. The cracks paused. Outside, the brides froze mid-catfight, sensing a shift.

"Alliance formed," Present Rei whispered.

"Anti-Yandere Alliance," Past Rei corrected.

[System Alert: Anti-Yandere Alliance Established. Success Probability: 2%. Which Is Higher Than Zero, So Congratulations.]

The brides turned, hair wild, eyes blazing. The Vampire Princess Bride dropped her karaoke mic. The Cyber Dragon Bride raised her cannon. The Eldritch Waifu Bride opened seventeen eyes at once.

And the Goddess Eris? She clapped like a proud stage mom.

"Ohhh, this is getting good," she said, slurping more noodles. "Two Reis versus infinite yanderes. Who wins? Place your bets!"

The two Reis stepped out of the broom closet, wielding the mop like Excalibur.

Present Rei shouted, "I just wanted peace!"

Past Rei added, "And Netflix!"

[System Alert: Reality Integrity = 22%. Hurry Up Before Universe Collapses.]

The battlefield went silent, for one single breath. Then, all hell broke loose.

To be continued...