I have never lived a life of shame.

Of course, that doesn't mean I was like the heroes in stories who always find the right answers and overcome every adversity gloriously.

I always did my best, yet there were always things I regretted.

I am a flawed and imperfect ordinary person.

And I am never ashamed to be that kind of person.

But...

“Haah...”

Today, I feel ashamed of myself.

Why did so many faces come to mind the moment I heard the chairman’s proposal?

‘Am I really going crazy?’

I don't even understand myself.

So I hid under the blankets for a long time, thinking it over.

‘Misha Kalstein.’

Well, it’s only natural she would come to mind.

She was the first person to break through the walls around me and exchange genuine affection since coming to this world.

‘Elwen Fornaci di Tersia.’

Elwen is a bit different from Misha.

There’s always a lingering sense of guilt in my heart, but that feeling is clearly different from a romantic one.

Most likely she came to mind because I know how she feels about me, so when marriage was brought up, she popped up.

Why, sometimes people prefer those who like them rather than those they like.

‘Amelia Rainwells.’

Ironically, Amelia, whom I first met as an enemy during my raider days, is the most trustworthy person I know.

She is dependable and someone I can rely on in any situation.

Despite all that, she’s honestly quite cute sometimes.

But the problem is...

‘Why aren’t these three the only ones who came to mind?’

Raven, Hyeonbyeol, Ragna.

And Ainard—

‘No, he’s just a friend.’

Compared to the first three, he was only briefly in my mind, but to be honest, they all crossed my thoughts for a moment.

Like a teenage boy imagining grandchildren’s names just because someone smiled kindly, I abstractly pictured married life with each of them.

Surprisingly, I felt that life with any of them would be joyful.

‘...Am I really crazy?’

I just don’t understand myself at all.

It’s not that I want to be with any of them.

Although as a noble it’s not institutionally impossible, I simply don’t want to.

But then, why did multiple faces come to mind simultaneously?

After long pondering, I found what felt like the closest answer.

‘...Maybe it was only natural.’

I still don’t have a firm heart for anyone. After what happened with Misha, I’ve been suppressing and burying those kinds of feelings as much as possible.

In that situation, suddenly bringing up marriage naturally makes you think first of those around you.

Those are all the women close to me, after all.

‘Yeah, it’s not that I’m strange.’

From others’ perspectives it may be mere rationalization, but once I reached that conclusion, my mind was at ease.

So then...

Snore! Snore-rumble!

Unconsciously falling asleep and waking the next morning.

I quietly slipped out of the newly built building where the chief’s tent had been without anyone noticing—

“Busy this early in the ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) morning.”

Uh...

“Heh, I just wanted to take a walk...”

I awkwardly smiled while scanning the surroundings, and Amelia chuckled.

“Don’t worry. The others aren’t nearby. I convinced them to leave after they said they’d wait for you.”

“Oh... really...?”

“Someday you’ll have to give a proper answer. Everyone’s curious about what you’ll decide.”

Amelia said that as if she’d been waiting to say it, then turned away coolly.

Well, maybe not so cool.

“And... wherever you’re going today, don’t come back too late. If you plan to stay out, let me know in advance.”

Stopping briefly to say that as she walked away, she reminded me of a nagging mom.

Well, that’s part of her charm too.

‘Ha... why did I bring up marriage at the table...’

That’s why one should be careful with words.

They say a single word can repay a thousand gold debts, but it can just as easily cause the opposite.

“The chief is back!!”

“The chief is heading into the city!!”

“Open the gates!!”

I thought I’d just take a stroll, but arriving at the city gate, it opened and I ended up heading to District 7.

District 7, still a ruin because reconstruction hasn’t fully started.

Residents wrapped in blankets, lying like vagrants in front of collapsed houses, raised their bodies and looked at me.

“A giant...! It’s a giant!”

“What? The baron has come?”

“Baron Yandel...!!”

Maybe because of my reputation as a hero?

Residents who would normally be too scared to be near a noble’s procession showed a different attitude toward me.

Of course, it wasn’t all good.

It’s fine if they just pass by and offer thanks or blessings, but not everyone was like that.

“P-Please! Help my family! Our shop collapsed and if this goes on, next year’s taxes...!”

Begging or seeking sympathy was still better than—

“Baron! Baron! What will happen to District 7? What about Viphron? What’s going to happen to that Viphron?!”

Some demanded.

“There are rumors the royal family will abandon District 7! Is that true?”

They pressed me.

“Please say something!!”

Many acted as if it was natural I’d answer as if they were claiming lost property.

‘...I can’t blame them.’

They’re struggling every day, and it’s frustrating not to hear any clear news.

“Baron!”

“Don’t believe the rumors. Reconstruction of District 7 will start soon.”

“Baron!”

“Take this and hang in there a bit. I’ll work to get more relief supplies.”

“Baron!”

“The Viphron barrier? What’s so scary about that? Don’t worry! This city will never fall!”

Rather than scolding them, I gave encouragement and the answers they hoped for, then moved on through the streets.

How far had I walked?

‘...Is it there?’

Since I was this far, I also visited the mage tower.

Letters had already arrived at the holy land several times.

They said thanks to the royal family granting an extended special leave after the expedition, I had been continuing personal research in the tower’s lab and asked for a visit soon...

‘Impenetrable, my foot.’

Arriving at the tower, I smirked.

They claimed it had never been conquered by invaders in its long history, but that record was broken twice in recent years.

Once by me.

And this time by Noark.

‘Actually, it’s not that it’s impenetrable, just that politics were handled well.’

Though the entrance and exterior were battered, I heard the internal damage wasn’t too severe.

When the invasion started, they used the barrier to buy time, took all data and research equipment, then used teleport magic with high-ranking officials and local leaders to evacuate the district.

‘They said only the teleportation circle was broken...’

Apparently, Noark also took everything and left, so the royal family only destroyed the magic circle to prevent its use and left the rest untouched—

“Why are you standing at the door? If you’re here, just come inside and wait.”

Raven appeared behind me as I arrived at the lab.

“Hey, make some noise when you come around.”

“...What?”

“Hey, what kind of tone is that to the baron? You’re short, too.”

“Why are you picking a fight as soon as you see me? Did something annoying happen on the way?”

“......”

“What? Did something actually happen?”

“No.”

That wasn’t exactly a lie.

More than irritation, I was physically and mentally tired from the attention the residents were giving me.

“Come in first. Let’s talk inside.”

“Where did you go? I thought you’d be inside since you’ve been so busy.”

“Not far. I went to borrow something from someone I know.”

“What?”

“Some experiment tools. Want me to explain?”

“No, forget it.”

We entered the lab and took seats; Raven’s workspace looked very different from before.

“It's a mess, right? The whole mage tower has been in chaos because of this. My master took care of things while I was away, but some things are still missing.”

“I see.”

“Well, since we moved stuff to the lab in Karnon, not much was left here anyway. Want some drink? Still, you’re the baron.”

“Water will do.”

We spent the rest of the time chatting about recent events, drinking from Raven’s 1.8L flask.

It had been quite some time since the expedition to the underground first floor, and many major things had happened since.

“Yandel, how come something like that happens right after you get back?”

I briefly explained the events in the city, and Raven listened with interest but occasionally laughed in disbelief.

“It seems you’re involved in all the incidents in this world.”

A sad but undeniable truth.

Honestly, since he knows nearly everything I’ve gone through, denying it wouldn’t convince him.

‘Why does it feel like the whole world’s against me?’

Was my name Hansu cursed?

That was the serious question on my mind.

“By the way... that’s really unfortunate.”

Raven’s voice grew sincere.

“They say you gave all the essences gained during the first floor expedition to regular explorers. Just by studying those you could have dominated this year’s academic awards for years.”

“Ah, that...”

“I don’t mean to blame you. Honestly, when I heard your decision, I thought it was just like you.”

“...Me?”

At first I wondered if he’d figured out the whole truth just from that, but in the end, no.

“You made that choice to save the city and its people, right? It’s not wise, but no matter what anyone says, I...”

Raven looked shy and glanced sideways at me.

“Personally... I think it’s cool.”

It was the first time I saw that kind of look in him.

Respect, maybe?

“Uh... really?”

“Yes.”

“But... you know.”

“...?”

Raven looked so serious I didn’t even try joking as usual, and corrected me.

“Don’t be too disappointed.”

“Yes. That’s right. It’s for the greater good. If I acted selfishly, feeling that way might seem pathetic to you—”

“No, no, that’s not it...”

How to explain this?

Looking at Raven waiting for me to continue, I just confessed man-to-man.

“Actually...”

“Yes, really?”

“I already secretly set aside the good essences.”

“...What?”

After a long pause, the question returned.

“Set aside? What do you mean?”

“Just as I said. If I spread the essences recklessly, the royal family wouldn’t be able to properly audit them.”

No matter how I think about it, it was a very clever plan.

While I was praising myself inside, Raven spoke in a broken tone like someone denying reality.

“...You touched the royal family’s loot?”

“So what?”

“Are you out of your mind?”

I knew this was a situation where such words could be said, but still I couldn’t help but tilt my head.

“Why all of a sudden? This isn’t the first time.”

We already had experience pocketing things in the underground first floor.

Yeah, so...

“You even liked it then, didn’t you? Giving it the fancy name ‘Crown of Agony.’”

“Th-That’s different...! And why do you tell me everything honestly after doing that!!”

Hey, trying to back out.

I felt a little hurt by this attitude, but luckily I know how to handle a mage.

“I don’t want to hide anything from you—”

“That doesn’t work anymore!”

“...Really?”

He must learn fast since he studied hard.

“Anyway, don’t be too hard on me. If it’s found out, execution is the same either way, right?”

“No! No! It’s different! If we keep it secret, it ends with just us, but this is too big!”

Hmm... that’s definitely true.

“So?”

“...?”

“Won’t you do research?”

“Th-That...!”

Like a dog in front of treats, Raven didn’t know what to do, then lowered his head and answered with a voice like an ant crawling.

“...I guess I have to.”

Yeah, I thought so.