CHAPTER 410: DROWNING

ARIA

I sat at the edge of the dock, my legs dangling over the water, watching the sun sink lower on the horizon.

The fishing boats drifted in the distance, their silhouettes dark against the orange and pink sky. The fishermen’s voices carried across the water, faint and indistinct, like echoes from another world.

I wasn’t really seeing any of it.

I’d come here, to this quiet, boring countryside town with its rolling hills and mountains and endless stretches of water, because it was the kind of place where no one knew me. Where no one cared.

The reception was terrible. I didn’t even have a phone anymore. I’d left it behind in the city, along with everything else.

I’d withdrawn enough cash to last me a few months, left the rest for Olivia and the kids, and rented this small, rundown apartment that smelled like mildew and old wood. It was perfect. Depressing and isolated and exactly what I deserved.

My days had settled into a routine that felt less like living and more like... existing.

I woke up. I ate. I cleaned. Sometimes I walked to the store for groceries, where the cashier... a middle-aged woman with a perpetual frown... would make awkward small talk that I could never tell if she enjoyed or resented. The elderly folks who lived nearby were kind, always asking about my life, always able to tell I wasn’t from here. Not that it mattered. They were generous with their concern, offering me vegetables from their gardens, inviting me to community dinners I never attended.

Even my landlord checked on me regularly, knocking on my door with that worried look that said he knew I wasn’t okay but didn’t know how to help.

I appreciated it. I think.

But it didn’t change anything.

The sun was almost gone now, just a sliver of gold on the water’s surface.

I pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, and stared out at the endless expanse of sea.

I wasn’t alone here. There were people around, people who cared in their simple, uncomplicated way.

But I felt lonely.

So fucking lonely it was like a physical weight pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe.

I felt like I was constantly on the verge of breaking down. Like one wrong question, one kind word, one moment of weakness would shatter me completely and I’d never be able to put the pieces back together.

I was hurting. Badly.

But somehow, I’d learned to live with the pain. To carry it around like a stone in my pocket, heavy and sharp-edged but manageable as long as I didn’t think about it too much.

I didn’t know what to do next.

Everything still felt surreal. Like I was watching my life happen to someone else, some other version of Aria who’d made different choices and ended up here, in this quiet place, pretending she wasn’t slowly losing her mind.

Maybe if I stayed here long enough, everything would stop hurting.

Or maybe I’d wake up and realize this was all just a bad dream.

My fingers moved to the necklace at my throat. The one Kael had given me.

I’d tried to take it off. God, I’d tried so many times.

But I couldn’t.

Every time my fingers touched the clasp, something in me froze. Refused. Like removing it would make everything real in a way I wasn’t ready to accept.

So I left it on. A constant reminder of everything I’d lost.

It was almost the end of the year. Just a few more days until everyone would be celebrating, toasting to new beginnings, pretending the past could be left behind with the flip of a calendar page.

I felt stuck.

Trapped in a moment I couldn’t move past.

I thought about this whole year. About everything that had happened. Everything the year had taken from me.

My mother, who’d died after living in so much pain her whole life. I’d watched her fade slowly, piece by piece, until there was nothing left but a body too tired to keep fighting.

My father, the monster he’d become. The man who’d driven me away with his cruelty, only to come back years later begging for forgiveness. And just when I’d finally let myself forgive him... just when I’d allowed myself to believe in redemption... he’d died in front of me. In the worst possible way. Shot. Bleeding out in my arms while I screamed for help that came too late.

I thought about the baby I never got to meet. How I felt a grief so profound, it threatened to swallow me whole.

I thought about how I’d almost died. Multiple times. How close I’d come to not being here at all.

I thought about betrayal. About the last person I ever imagined would hurt me doing exactly that.

And I thought about Kael.

I thought about losing my job. Then getting it back with a deal that had changed everything... a contract with the devil dressed in expensive suits and cold eyes.

A bitter laugh escaped me, harsh and ugly in the quiet evening air.

Kael Roman.

The worst man I’d ever come across. Arrogant, controlling, infuriating in ways that made me want to scream.

And yet it hadn’t taken long for me to fall in love with him.

Hard.

So hard it terrified me.

But I’d welcomed it anyway. I’d let myself fall, believing—stupidly, naively—that maybe this time, things would be different. That maybe I could have something good. Something real.

My mind drifted back to the gala. To that moment when Sarah’s words had cut through me like a knife.

"I’m pregnant. And Kael is the father."

The look on Kael’s face. The shock. The guilt.

That was all the confirmation I’d needed.

I’d wanted so badly for it to be a nightmare. For someone to shake me awake and tell me it wasn’t real.

But it was real.

And it hurt more than anything I’d ever experienced.

I remembered the text message I’d seen on his phone in Spain. How I’d tried not to doubt him. Tried to trust him despite the unease gnawing at my gut.

Kael had always looked like he was hiding something. Always seemed like there were parts of himself he kept locked away where I couldn’t reach them.

And I’d felt it... that nagging sense that I wasn’t enough for him.

That no matter how much I gave, how much I tried, there would always be secrets between us.

Then there was Sarah.

The thought of her made my stomach twist into knots so tight I could barely breathe.

I was confused. Angry. Hurt. All at the same time, all tangled together until I couldn’t separate one emotion from another.

Sarah had been everything to me. She still was, even now, even after everything.

From the moment I’d seen her at orientation, that awkward, shy girl staring at me before quickly looking away, I’d known I liked her instantly.

Sarah had felt like a breath of fresh air in my sad little life.

Even when she’d tried to push me away, I’d kept coming back. Because I couldn’t ignore her. Maybe it was the look in her eyes that said she wanted a friend. Or maybe it was just my own need for something, someone, who wasn’t shallow and temporary.

Sarah had been the best thing that happened to me in college.

I’d felt at home with her in a way I’d never felt with anyone else.

As the years passed, my attachment to her had grown. At first, I’d tried to hide it. I didn’t want to chase her away by being too much, so I’d played the popular girl role a little too well.

But every time I found myself surrounded by people, at parties, in classes, at events, I’d only think about getting back to Sarah. About staying up all night with her, eating junk food, binge-watching TV shows from borrowed cassettes.

In my life of constant change, Sarah was the only thing that remained.

And my love for her had only grown.

I’d always believed she felt the same way. That we loved each other and would never hurt each other on purpose.

But I guess I was wrong about that.

I sighed heavily, the sound lost in the gentle lapping of water against the dock.

My chest felt wrong. Heavy. Like there was a stone lodged between my ribs, threatening to crack them open.

Or maybe it was just my heart, tired of beating.

The exhaustion crept back in, the kind that went deeper than physical fatigue. The kind that made every breath feel like effort.

I stood slowly, my legs stiff from sitting too long, and made my way back to the apartment.

It was already dark. Already quiet.

I turned on the TV for background noise, something to fill the oppressive silence, and moved to the tiny kitchen to make dinner.

Noodles. Again.

I drifted through the motions mindlessly. Boiling water. Adding the noodles. Stirring in the seasoning packet.

I made enough for two people, though I had no idea why. Maybe out of habit. Maybe because some part of me still couldn’t accept that I was alone.

I’d been eating a lot lately. More than I needed. Like I was trying to fill the emptiness with whatever I could, food, cigarettes, junk, anything.

I couldn’t touch alcohol anymore. The taste made me sick.

As I added the finishing touches to the noodles, a name from the TV made me freeze.

"Kael Roman."

My hands trembled slightly, but I forced myself to keep moving. Keep stirring. Keep pretending I wasn’t listening.

The news anchor’s voice continued, professional and detached.

"...faces increasingly slim chances of inheriting and taking over the Roman family business due to ongoing scandal surrounding his personal conduct and rising questions about his past actions. Meanwhile, Andrew Roman has emerged as the most likely successor to Ewan Roman’s empire..."

Then another name.

"Sarah Brown."

I stopped stirring.

The screen cut to an interview. Sarah sat in a chair, looking composed and sympathetic, her hands folded in her lap.

She looked so... normal. So much like the Sarah I’d always known.

But her words were knives.

"Kael and I started seeing each other around the time he was involved with my friend, Aria Thorne, who was his executive assistant..."

My breath caught in my throat.

"After the news broke about Ash Sterling being his fiancée, Aria and Kael had a terrible fight. She pushed him away. And Kael... he came to me."

No.

"I tried to resist. I told him it was wrong, that I couldn’t do that to Aria. But he threatened me. Said he’d use his power and influence against me if I didn’t..."

My vision blurred at the edges.

"I had no choice. I know that if I’d said something, Aria probably wouldn’t have believed me. And now..."

Sarah’s voice softened, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"If you’re listening, Aria... I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry. I wish things had been different."

I crossed the room in three strides and slammed my hand against the power button.

The screen went black.

Silence crashed down around me, heavy and suffocating.

I stood there, breathing hard, my hands shaking.

My mind was spinning, spiraling, fracturing into pieces I couldn’t hold together.

Sarah’s voice echoed in my head. Her words. Her lies.

Or were they lies?

I didn’t know anymore.

I didn’t know anything anymore.

I forced myself to move. To go back to the kitchen. To pick up the bowl of noodles, half-soggy now, unappetizing, and carry it to the small table.

I ate mechanically, not tasting anything. Not caring.

When the bowl was empty, I set it in the sink and walked to my bed.

I lay down fully clothed, staring at the ceiling.

My mind was crumbling. Slowly. Quietly.

And I didn’t know how to stop it.