Love is a Battlefield - The Accidental Necromancer - NovelsTime

The Accidental Necromancer

Love is a Battlefield

Author: TheAmaraine
updatedAt: 2025-08-31

I checked in with Gruush, to see if he needed anything, but everything was going smoothly at the trading post. He used the radio to communicate with Kathy when he had needs, thank you very much. I pulled the latest order out of my bag, and we put it all in the strongroom. It included a zoot suit for him personally, and a fedora, and he was pleased as punch.

Apparently toothbrushing had caught on among the trolls. He was selling toothbrushes for a half ounce of gold, and throwing in a free tube of Crest. It was quite a markup. I asked him to hire someone to scout out an area that would be on a relative high point, free of trees for a ways around – a place that would get plenty of wind – and if he could, stake a claim – buy one, if he had to. The notion of land ownership was foreign to him.

“Just ask Gavabar to make sure that we can build on it, and that no one else can. Try asking, and bribe him if you have to.”

“Why do you want this?”

I explained the notion of power generation, to power gadgets like the radios rather than using batteries.

His eyes lit up. “I could probably sell electric toothbrushes for twice the price!”

Right. Exactly what I was working toward. Not. I left the trading in his capable hands, knowing I wouldn’t be doing half as well, and cycled toward the orcs.

I went straight to the trading post there to check in with Inka.

She grinned at me. “Queen Abby! Uber Archfiend!”

Apparently everyone knew. But of course Lesseth and Kendala had been through here on the way to Tartarus. Well, at least she wasn’t all intimidated by it. “Inka! How’s business?”

“Business is good,” she said. She brought out her ledgers and showed me. “I’ve been converting everything over to double-entry bookkeeping. Kathy showed me. It’s revolutionary! This kind of thing could change the world.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I read a book like that once. Although I think trebuchets had something to do with it, too. Anyway, I’m glad you’re into it.”

“I’d love to read that book!”

I got on the radio, and asked Kathy to get her a copy of Lest Darkness Fall. “You’ll have to read it back at the base sometime, though. I worry about what people might get up to if they read Earth books.”

“Right! The trading monopoly. Don’t worry, Abby, I’m a loyal employee! Like Kendala!”

“Like Kendala?”

She nodded, and offered me a profile view, while throwing out her hip. “Like Kendala,” she said again, and winked, broadly.

“Yes, um, well, um.”

“I was thinking, though, that we need to talk about the benefits package at some point?”

I’d come at least moderately prepared to deal with Zargaza, but not this. “Yes, Inka? What do you want?”

“I’d like to, um, benefit from your package.”

I groaned.

Her face fell. “Am I that undesirable? I know that Kendala has bigger boobs, but –”

“No. I was groaning at the pun.” I looked around. “There’s no one here at the moment, why don’t you lock up the shop.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think we need to, um, look over some things in the back room. It might involve some bending over, and some, er, hard work.”

I think it took her all of ten seconds to hang a sign out front, and lock the front door. She started pulling off her top before she even got to the storeroom.

I hoped Gruush didn’t want the same benefits package Inka and Kendala were getting. Our health plan was top rate, the employee discounts were on goods one couldn’t get anywhere else, and I thought I could throw in a life insurance policy if I needed too.

“Where do you want your employee?” Inka asked, pulling off her skirt.

Underwear still hadn’t caught on among the orcs. Well, it saved time. “This isn’t about a boss with an employee,” I told her. “Just woman to woman.”

“Yes, boss!” she said cheerfully. “Woman to woman, where do you want me?”

“First, I want you to help me with the zipper in back.”

“Yes, boss!” she said, and unzipped.

“Secondly, you were calling me Abby when I entered, why am I boss now?”

“Because it makes it hotter?”

“Call me Abby.”

“Yes, B—Abby.”

“And then,” I said, as I slipped the dress off. “Bend over that crate over there.”

She bent over, presenting a peach of an ass. Well, if peaches were green. There wasn’t anything about her that looked unripe, however. “Are you going to spank me?”

“Not unless you’d really like me to,” I said.

“I just want your sweet dick where it does the most good,” she told me.

I took off my underwear, and moved behind her. “And would that be here… or here,” I asked, gently teasing first with my forefinger, then with my index finger.

She spread her legs wider. “Yes!”

I rubbed the head of my cock against her clit and made her moan. “Are you sure? Either place?”

“Yes!”

Her pussy was so wet and inviting. I accepted the invitation.

“Oh, yes Abby!” she purred.

I grabbed her hips, and slowly worked my way in and out of her.

Someone outside pounded on the door.

“Customers,” Inka said. “They can wait.”

Whoever it was pounded again, and I had a feeling that it wasn’t a customer. But I agreed that whoever it was, they could wait.

“I could help them, if you like. As long as you don’t take your dick out of me.”

“Nope,” I told her.

I fucked her doggy-style for a while. Then I pulled out of her, picked her up, and put her on the crate facing me. She spread her legs, thinking she knew what came next.

I surprised her by going down on her. I started spelling the alphabet on her clit, and I only got to “G” before she came the first time. I was, after all, fifty percent better.

Then she slid off the crate, got to her knees, and returned the favor. She wasn’t very experienced at it, I suspected, but she more than made up for that with enthusiasm.

The pounding at the door started again and was still going on when I ejaculated in Inka’s mouth.

She grinned up at me, after swallowing. “Was that good? Was I good?”

“You were amazing,” I told her.

“Thank you, Abby. And as I like to say to the customers, please cum again.” She giggled. “But I usually mean it differently. I guess I should go open the shop.”

“Sure,” I told her. “I’ll be out in a moment.”

“Yes, Boss.” She quickly put her clothes on.

“Abby.”

“I know. But somehow I like to tease you. Not very employee-like of me, I know.”

“It’s just fine,” I told her. “You be you.”

She closed the door behind her. I got my clothes put together and then freshened up my lipstick. I wanted to be at my best, and besides, it was a lovely shade of black, with purple undertones.

“Where is she?” demanded a familiar voice.

“She’ll be out shortly,” Inka replied. “Can I help you in the meantime?”

“You were fucking her!”

“Mayyybe,” Inka said. “Jealous much?”

Gah. I put the mirror away and headed out front. “Good afternoon, Zargaza. So nice to see you again,” I said as smoothly as possible.

She drew herself up. The leather top she was wearing was only slightly wider than a belt, but at the moment, anyway, it was managing to keep her nipples covered. She had paired it with a leather micro-mini. It might have made her look a bit like a street walker, but the large battle axe dangling from a belt around her waist took it to a different place.

“I’m glad you’re using your slaves,” Zargaza said. “Kendala was around to tell us about it, on her way to Tartarus.”

“Ah,” I said. I had no secrets.

“Do they make good little fuckholes, darling?” she asked, advancing on me.

That felt like a question that had no right answer. I walked up to her until our chests were almost touching. “Do you?” I asked.

Her eyes widened, and then I kissed her, hard. After a moment of being startled, she gave as good as she got. But she had to come up for air first.

“If you’re just teasing me, I’ll –” she started, fingering her axe.

“You’ll what?”

She stared. “Damn you. Uber Archfiend.”

Yeah, no secrets at all. Although that one was never going to be kept under wraps. I grinned at her. “What will you do?” I teased.

“Nothing,” she said. “But I will be most put out.”

“If you’re going to put out, you can do it right here in the lobby,” Inka said. “I think it will be good for business.”

“Come on,” I said to her. “Let’s go to your place. I understand you have some very comfortable furs.”

Zargaza smiled. “I do. I do indeed.”

“Awww,” said Inka. “No fun.” She didn’t sound jealous, though, just mock-disappointed. I felt a little bad fucking and leaving, but Inka seemed fine with it. Maybe it was expected of an Uber Archfiend, or a Queen, or even a Boss.  Or maybe sex just wasn’t romantic to her, exactly, so it didn’t come bundled up with all those emotions.

I made a note to check back in with Inka later, to make sure she wasn’t just hiding them. But for now, I took Zargaza’s hand and led her out. I was glad I knew the way. I didn’t want her to lead right now.

“I won’t give in easily,” she said.

“Oh?”

“I’ll put up a fight.”

“Fine by me,” I said. “As long as you – Zargaza, do you want this?”

“Of course I do. Hasn’t that been obvious enough? For an Uber Archfiend, you’re kind of dense.”

I laughed. I knew, really. I wasn’t that dense. But hearing her say it was important to me.

We quickened our pace. Orcs saw us, of course. I wondered if they suspected what we were up to.

Zargaza still had a tent, even though more permanent buildings were going up around her. As a ruler, she put herself last. I respected that. She ducked into it and let go of my hand. I followed her in.

There were furs in the middle of the room. Everything else had been pushed to the side. Had she known this was going to happen? Or had she just hoped, and wanted to be prepared? She took off her sandals, and walked onto the furs.

I took off my cute little Mary Janes, and got ready to join her on them, but to my surprise she walked to the other side. She unbelted her axe and tossed it and the belt to the side, and then took up a fighting stance.

What, we were going to wrestle to see who was on top? “Marquis of Queensbury rules?” I asked.

“What? What rules. This is no holds barred,” Zargaza said. “You may subdue me, Abby, but you’re going to have the scratch marks and bite marks to prove that I did not give in without a fight before you lay claim to my people as part of Abbyland.”

I chuckled. We weren’t doing as much talking as intended. “Claim to your people, and claim to you,” I said, making sure I at least got in the bullet points. “No holds barred? Everything is fair?”

“No weapons, of course.”

“Magic?”

She paused. “I, um, guess. Magic. Sure.”

Well, it was something to keep in mind in case of an emergency. “Alright, Zargaza. You’re on.”

I took a step forward. She rushed me. I tried to move to the side to use her momentum against me, but she grabbed my dress and tore. I didn’t get a hold of her to throw her.

“Hey! That was like ninety dollars!” I said. “Even on sale!” It was just in my way now, so I ripped it off the rest of the way.

“You look better with it off,” she said.

Well, the less I wore the more effective my powers were. We circled each other. She bared her teeth at me. I waited, and then lowered my hands slightly. She sensed an opening and moved forward.

Dimension Step. I teleported behind her, and whirled. Her weight was slightly forward, so I grabbed her thighs and yanked. She tumbled to the furs. Almost at once, she rolled over.

I fell on top of her, yanking the belt she wore over her breasts and setting them free.

She bit me in the shoulder, which pissed me off. I pushed her in the sternum, hard, banging her shoulders against the furs.

“Yes!” she yelled, and raked her nails across my back.

I grabbed her wrists and pulled them away. She struggled. Inch by inch, I forced her hands back.

“You’re stronger than you look,” she said, her eyes opening.

“Yes. I was built that way.”

Say thank you. Gotta say, this is hot, but all that biting and scratching hurts, so just charm her already.

Ah, that’s right, he could feel everything I felt.

Zargaza kissed me. Well, kind of a kiss. Kind of a bite, too. I bit back. I could taste blood, and some of it was mine.

Call it petty, but somehow knowing Enash was suffering along with me made it better. Besides, she needed to show her people she had struggled and fought valiantly.

A queen must do things for the good of her people, after all.

Novel