CHAPTER 433: I WANT TO HAVE OUR CHILDREN

DAEMON’S POV

Watching Zina crumble right before him was like watching his whole life flash before in the blink of an eye.

It had him utterly fear stricken. And the fear of losing her all over again settled deep in his bones. At that point he was of the belief that he was struck with an illness of the mind where the fear of losing Zina would forever stay with him—

Till eternity.

But he would rather fear losing her, than actually lose her.

"I carry so much death. How can you not hate me? My mother died because of me. And I lost our child! How... just how can you not hate me?!"

Her words kept repeating in his mind even as he clutched her tightly, afraid to let go, and for the first time, he felt truly powerless. Powerless to face the woman he loved with his all.

Powerless to face their fears and common grief.

But he had no business feeling like that. Which was why he gripped her jaw lightly until she was staring right through his eyes.

"I know how you feel, Zina," he said, voice thick with unspoken emotions, "your grief, your sadness, your loss. For a minute back there when I lost you, I felt it all. So much so that I thought my world has ended before it began."

A tear rolled down her face, but she didn’t break their stare.

"But do you know what kept me going right here? Do you know the reason why I was able to stand and speak before all those people when all I wanted to do was raze them to the ground? It was you. You kept me going. Even though I wished my world would end and I would unite with you in the underworld, you kept me going."

She shut her eyes, more tears rolling down endlessly.

He wiped the trail off with the tips of his fingers. "So Zina; can you allow me to be your light this time? To guide you out of the darkness? Let me be what keeps you going."

"Daemon...."

"We will have more children," he gritted, wiping her tears, "even if we don’t, I do not care. So do not ever blame yourself for the miscarriage. If we are to apportion blame, then I would be faulty for being negligent enough that you were taken away from me right under my nose. Following that thought, everything that has thus happened is my fault; losing our child, the torture and pain you went through, your mother’s death...all of that would be my fault."

She shook her head vehemently. "No. No this is not on you."

"It’s not on you either." He almost snapped, his voice tethering between a plea and desperation, "those responsible for this are Rowan and his Master. And I will mete appropriate vengeance to them, Zina. I will make them wish for death. I will avenge you, and our child. And your mother. So for now, just remain by my side, okay?"

The dam broke anew in her eyes, and she hugged him tighter while she wept out her heart. She said nothing, but he could feel all her unspoken emotions and pain. He felt the pain of her torture and travails under Rowan and his Master. He felt her grief over her miscarriage and the loss of her mother. He felt her despair, destitution, and aloofness all wrapped in one.

And feeling so much of her emotions pushed his own unexpressed emotions to the fore. And that was when he realized the true extent of his fear over losing her. There was no way he would have survived a world without Zina.

There was absolutely no way.

They remained like that for a very long time. Just holding each other while they poured out their hearts and hurt in different ways.

Her sobs finally quieted down, but they remained hugging, glued to each other like they never wanted to separate.

He didn’t mind it—no, he welcomed it.

His dress-cloak was soaked with tears at that point, but he hardly cared about the flimsy material as much as he cared about the woman who was weeping against it.

Meanwhile he imagined a thousand creative ways he would return this pain. Vengeance simmered in him slowly like a dark thing, and that might just be the only thing that kept him sane. The thought was the only thing that kept him floating in this sea of darkness he now swarmed.

Slowly, Zina rose up from him, sniffling.

"I want to have more children." She said suddenly, "your children... our children."

The light lit up in his eyes instantly. "Then we will have more children. Five, ten, twenty pups...? I will give them all to you if that’s what you want."

She laughed. It was strained, small, jerky, but it was still her laughter. A sound that he didn’t realize how much he missed until then.

"Who will raise twenty children with you?" She voiced sarcastically, turning away from him, pretending to be offended.

"Fine. We shall start with two then." He teased back.

Her expression changed. Something like fear settling in her eyes. "But I’m afraid I won’t be able to have children. I have confirmed for myself that my family suffers from miscarriage."

He tugged her to her. "If a child is what you want, then I will roam the ends of the earth finding a solution. No matter what it takes, I will make your dreams come true. And even if it is not possible, I do not care about it because all I need is you."

She stilled, as though hearing those words for the hundredth time but still being shocked by them. Then she smiled slowly.

"Thank you." She said, entwining her fingers with his in a way that made his heart strangely skip a beat, "I am so sorry I am saying it late, but thank you for everything. For coming back for me, for loving me unconditionally, for everything."

He fought a smile. Even then, he had a thought that maybe Zina didn’t realise just how much he loved her. Which made sense because he was just realising how far gone his heart was.

But he would make her realise it. From now on he will be a better man. A better husband. A better partner.

He would never allow her to doubt his love again.