CHAPTER 56: IF I SAID YES

Kaya

I don’t know why—or how—but my feet have already carried me out of the library. It feels as if I’ve lost control of my own body, pulled by some strange, invisible force dragging me away from the warmth of the building and straight toward the looming entrance of the forest.

There’s something out there.I can see the darkness lingering like a menacing shadow, almost alive.And, for reasons I don’t understand, I have to know what it is.

A whirlwind of emotions swells in my chest as I walk forward, drawn by the irresistible pull of the unknown. I feel almost enchanted—helpless to stop.What could it be? A ghost? A presence? A... ghoul?

Memories of my first ghoul encounter flood my mind, and an involuntary shiver runs down my spine. Still, I don’t hesitate.I must have lost my mind.My thoughts grow foggy, but my feet keep moving, inching me closer to the darkness that seems to reach out, hungry to consume me.

Until—

"Kaya."

The sound of my name snaps me out of the trance, yanking me back to reality.

I finally stop, mind still hazy, when a strong hand grabs my arm and spins me around. My eyes snap wide in surprise.

"Alpha Magnus?"

"What were you thinking? I’ve called your name at least ten times." His voice is low, calm, but laced with unmistakable concern.

His question leaves me blank—What was I doing?

"I..." I struggle to find an answer, mumbling under my breath. "I don’t really know..."

"What?" Magnus’s tone gets a little impatient now, but I can’t help it; I really don’t know how I got here or what exactly I was thinking before I heard him call my name.

As if in an attempt to try and solve this mystery, I turn around, my eyes darting frantically all over the territory, but I see nothing. I don’t even know what I’m looking for.

"What is it?" Magnus’s voice cuts through my consciousness again, and I instantly turn back to look at him. "N-Nothing. It’s nothing. I just got... carried away."

It is then that I can finally see Magnus clearly, and honestly, I really don’t like what I’m seeing. Even in the distant orange light from the street lamps, I can see that his skin looks paler than usual, and the dark circles under his eyes contribute to his disheveled state as well.

He looks tired, exhausted, even, and Samantha’s words ring in my head with a fresh clarity, "Alpha Magnus has a lot on his plate as it is, yet he does his job dutifully and never complains."

"How did the training with Gamma Tillian go?" He suddenly asks, and I feel a little weird that I have just thought about Samantha as well.

"It was hard," I sigh, accepting the change of the subject. "But I managed. Somehow."

A subtle smile flashes over Magnus’s lips, and his voice sounds lighter now, as if he feels somewhat relieved. "That’s good news," he nods, "because from now on, these training sessions are going to be a daily occurrence. Of course, Tillian does not have every morning available, but Oliver will share a schedule with her, so don’t worry."

Oh, I’m not worried at all, I frown internally. I don’t even know if I am actually going to survive even a single week of such rigorous training. But the moment I catch myself thinking that, I feel ashamed. I am weak; I have no one to blame for that but me.

"Thank you," I still feel the need to express my gratitude. "Thank you for doing so much to help me get used to this place."

Magnus shakes his head, his heavy black curls falling over his face. Then, he rakes his hand through his hair, pushing the hair back, and I can’t help but feel like I’m about to melt. I don’t know what’s going on with me, but even that single move of his hand is pretty dangerous to my confused heart.

"It’s the least I can do," he almost exhales these words. "And I’m glad you want it, too. Unlike your friend, who refuses to even leave her room."

Suddenly, my mind finally clears up completely, and I realize that we are slowly walking toward the same training spot behind the old shed. But as Magnus so smoothly turns the conversation toward Shelly, I feel every muscle in my body stiffen again.

What should I do? Shelly is gone now, and I have no idea where she is. But should I tell him that? Would it break our agreement if I did?

Suddenly, Magnus stops right before me, his massive body looming over me like a living mountain. I swallow hard, mostly because I get startled, but his next question dries my mouth completely. "Why did she leave?"

He knows? Since when? I can’t place it all together because I am so caught off guard, but then again, he is the alpha of this pack, there is no way he wouldn’t know anything about its members.

There is no use being coy, I am sure about that, but how much can I really tell him now?

"Uhm," I search for proper answers in my head, my palms suddenly getting really clammy while my throat is still in desperate need of water. Then, I finally let go of everything and sigh.

"How many omegas can boast a shiny fate among us? For females like us, life outside Dark Wood, and, more importantly, away from Alpha Damien, is unbearable. We are the alpha’s ’chosen mates’," my voice suddenly falters as I struggle to suppress the quivering in my lower lip. "We only have one purpose in life––to be next to our alpha. To serve him, to please him, to... satisfy him... Until our final breath. Without that purpose, our lives mean nothing."

I pause just to fill my lungs with air, but I don’t want to leave too much silence between us. No, I want to talk. And not because I want him to know, but because I want to say it.

"You’ve seen it yourself; I have never trained, never shifted properly, never even had a ’proper’ job to boast about. I have to start from scratch while everyone keeps getting so far ahead of me. Shelly, perhaps, did not want that. And honestly, I don’t think anyone has the right to blame her for that choice."

Because they don’t. No one knows what ’chosen mates’ have to go through. If they never cared before, they shouldn’t care now either.

Magnus listens to me without interruption, his bright eyes firmly fixed on mine. When I finally stop, he parts his lips right away as if the words have been dancing on his tongue this entire time.

"So you think she went back to Alpha Damien? Even though he sold you both like that? His ’chosen mates’?"

I bite my lip, hesitant. "I don’t know." I really don’t.

"Then what about you?" He asks another question, though now, his voice is ice-cold and strangely distant. "Do you want to go back, too?"

I flinch and move my eyes back to his face again, though now that he stands against the lamplight, he is nothing but a huge shadow looming over me. His eyes, however, make my heart sink.

Against the darkness that surrounds us, these honey-colored orbs are like two embers of a never-ending fire, and no matter how menacing he might be looking now, his gaze is warm and devoid of anger.

Right now, he has the same look in his eyes as the one he had when I spilled whiskey on his black leather shoes.

The silence stretches, but he remains patient, allowing me to think. And I don’t like that. Because the more I think, the more I wonder––do I want to go back?

At last, i draw in a little breath and say as quietly as I can, "Would you let me go if I said yes?"

Once again, the silence is unbearable. His amber eyes keep still as if he is trying to read my mind, but that emotionless stillness is now turning into something suffocating.

Then, something in his face shifts, and he parts his lips, his dangerously cold voice sending a shiver down my entire body as he says a single word that changes everything.

"No."