CHAPTER 71: I’M ALWAYS HURTING

Kaya

In my memories, I’m always hurting.

It’s a never-ending rollercoaster of agony and despair, humiliation and devastation, loneliness and misery. And all for being born the way I was, without even knowing who I really am.

9 years ago

"Get up."

A deep female voice cut through my dreams like a blade, jolting me awake in an instant. I’d learned—painfully—that hesitation was never an option when someone came to wake you. Not here.

Blinking against the weight of sleep, I propped myself up on my elbows, squinting to see who had spoken.

Anette.

Her expression was tight with irritation, a deep frown carved between her brows. Without a word, she tossed a folded black-and-white uniform at me and crossed her arms over her chest.

"The head butler wants us in the kitchen in ten minutes," she snapped. "Put your shit on and get your ass there."

She turned and stormed out of the room before I could even open my mouth to respond—as if staying one second longer might get her in trouble too.

I sighed and peeled the uniform off my head, my frown deepening the moment I held it up. The skirt was absurdly short.

This has to be a mistake, I thought, stunned. There’s no way I’m on serving duty tonight.

"There’s no mistake," the butler barked at me when I asked, his tone heavy with disdain. "One of the assigned girls ran off, and since you’ve got a face that’s easy on the eyes, the Luna approved you as a replacement."

His words were blunt, but clear. Still, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Tonight was supposed to be the Luna’s birthday banquet. The staff assignments had been finalized days ago. I was never considered fit to serve out front—not with how I looked. So why now? Why me?

"Are you just going to stand there gawking?" he snapped, slapping my shoulder hard enough to sting. "Guests are arriving soon. Move your ass unless you’d rather spend the night in the punishment room!"

That threat was all the motivation I needed.

But if I’d known what was waiting for me out there... I would’ve begged to be sent to that damn punishment room instead.

***

"That’s the stuff, sweetheart!"

A large, broad-shouldered man slapped me on the ass as he slammed an empty whiskey glass onto my tray. My startled reaction seemed to amuse him—he burst into loud laughter, and his companions joined in, their cackles echoing like a pack of hyenas.

"Are you talking about the drink, or her ass?" another man chimed in, grabbing one of my cheeks so hard I feared something might actually tear.

"Never mind," he added with a grin, finally letting go. "Both seem just fine to me."

Their laughter rose again, cruder and louder, and though I tried to steel myself, I couldn’t help but cringe.

It wasn’t often I ended up serving betas and gammas at events like this—but when I did, I always ended up wishing I hadn’t.

I forced a tight, polite smile onto my lips, bowed slightly, and turned to leave—only for the first man to toss a few crumpled bills onto my tray. His thin lips twisted into a lewd, satisfied smile.

"Keep an eye on us, will you, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," his friend snorted, giving me another slap that nearly knocked me off balance. "Keep swinging that pretty ass around this area!"

I stumbled, barely catching myself before I fell, but thankfully, another maid caught me by the elbow. Her grip was firm, her expression sharp as she shot me a quick glare.

"Watch it," she muttered under her breath.

I nodded stiffly and quickly retreated toward the bar, heart pounding. I gathered more drinks, trying to focus on the task, angling my steps away from that table of despicable men.

Away from their hands. Away from their eyes.

"Hey, you!"

The head maid’s voice rang out just as I was heading toward one of the resting areas near the terrace, a tray of drinks balanced carefully in my hands.

"Go to the kitchen and help Tina with the food. They need an extra pair of hands getting it out here."

"Oh, but—" I hesitated, glancing down at my tray, then back up at her. "The drinks, I—"

"Move it before I complain to the butler!"

That snapped away the rest of my hesitation like hot water melting sugar.

Struggling to keep both my balance and the drinks from toppling, I turned on my heel and rushed toward the kitchen. But just as I was about to reach the corridor, a strong, cold hand clamped around my wrist.

Before I could react, I was yanked violently into one of the shadowy storage closets.

My breath caught—I barely had time to register what was happening. I opened my mouth to scream, but another hand came up, muffling the sound.

It was dark. My vision struggled to adjust, but I didn’t need to see his face to know who it was. The voice alone was enough.

"I thought I told you to keep an eye on me, sweetheart," said the man who’d slipped money onto my tray earlier, his breath hot and reeking of whiskey. He pressed his massive frame against mine, forcing me back against the wall, caging me in.

"I—I was going to," I stammered, panic rising in my throat. "But we’re not allowed to choose who we serve, I—"

His grip tightened. His voice dropped into a growl.

"Did you really think you could just take my money and forget about me? What is this to you—a fucking restaurant? That wasn’t a tip."

There was venom in every word—rage so raw I could almost feel his wolf stir beneath his skin.

I was going to apologize, but his giant hand covered my mouth again, and before I could even realize what was happening, he placed his thigh between my legs and stuck his cold fingers inside me, painfully pushing them deeper.

"What? Are you a fucking virgin or something?"

I nodded, tears rolling down my cheeks. I was only fifteen––of course I was a virgin.

"Fuck!" He spat, irritated, his fingers finally out. "I was told all the maids were going to be ready––I don’t enjoy fucking virgins, you know?"

Somehow, I felt relieved. It did not take a genius to realize what he was talking about, so I hoped that my being a virgin would save me from this torture. But I was wrong.

Without letting me catch my breath, he pushed me down to my knees and grabbed me by my hair, yanking my head backward, almost hitting the wall. Then, he unzipped his pants, and before I could even get startled, his huge cock pushed past my lips, almost making me choke on it.

"I’m gonna fuck your mouth then," he snarled, his grip on my hair tightening so much that I felt several strands break from the pressure. "You are not going to leave this room until I cum. So do us both a favor and relax your pretty mouth."

I did as he told me, doing my best to make sure he could finish quickly. But he went on. Choking me with his disgusting dick, pushing it deeper, grunting and panting while I stood on my knees, praying for it to be over.

But when it was over, the nightmare did not stop.

"Haa," the man exhaled, pushing my face away from his crotch, while I gasped for air, wincing from the sour taste in my mouth.

"You’ve done surprisingly well for a virgin," he told me, stroking my damp, messy hair with his giant hand. Although there was barely any light in the store room, once my eyes got used to the darkness, I could see his face so clearly that even the thick film of tears could not shield me away from his appalling grin.

"I wonder," he continued, trapping my chin between his fingers as he pulled my face closer to his. "Perhaps you’ll surprise me down there, too?"

I barely managed to swallow a whimper, shivering at the mere thought of what could happen now, but I did not have to imagine it for long. Grabbing my hair once again, the man twisted me around, slamming my body painfully against the cold floor. Without hesitation, he tore my underwear like it was a cobweb, while all I could do was swallow a desperate scream as his manhood drilled me from behind, sending a mind-numbing wave of ache through my entire lower body.

And then it went on. On, and on, and on, and on. Pain, so much pain. Between my legs. Inside my chest. Everywhere. Just pain.

It wouldn’t stop. It refused to stop. And when it finally did, it had already taken too much—too much time, too much of me—for the pain to be easily forgotten.

Goddess...

If only I’d seen it coming. If only I could have seen the future.

But then again, this was just another punishment room.