CHAPTER 18: 18

NYLAH

The consistent knock on my door woke me up. My eyes felt very heavy as I struggled to open them.

I’d slept off thinking about how different my life was and how different it would be with Alpha Xavier anywhere but on my side.

I’d shed tears, I’d felt regret and I missed my friend but the pain of feeling worthless was on par.

"Nylah, it’s Sofia, open up!" Sofia’s voice made me wake up and push myself off the bed.

I stretched as I walked to the door. After unlocking it, I pulled the handle and met a ready-for-the-day Sofia.

"Gosh, how many hours do you sleep for?!" she asked, pushing her way inside my room.

"I’ve been knowing for thirty minutes now, and this is ten am. Most people have had breakfast." She found a place on the bed and sat there, still rambling.

Even though I knew that her knocking for thirty minutes was exaggerated, I placed a hand over my head.

"I’m sorry, I overslept," I replied, shocked at my lies. But how could I tell her that I slept late because I was crying over my new status, over my unfortunate situation, a situation that I single-handedly put myself into?

It would sound stupid and weak and pathetic, and the last thing I wanted was to see her expressing pity towards me. Last night was enough, I’d been humbled enough before the whole pack.

"Did you cry?" Her questions brought me out of my thoughts, and I subconsciously widened my eyes as though they’d make my eyes less swollen.

I’d forgotten that the aftermath of crying and sleeping almost immediately was waking up with dramatically swollen red eyes.

’Shit!’ I cursed inwardly.

I felt even worse to be seen like this. It was the same as telling her that I was weak and I’d accepted defeat.

I would have lied to her from the other side of the door if I’d known to prevent her from coming in and buying myself more time to have my swollen eyes return to normal.

"Your eyes are so red and swollen, and your under eyes are dark like you barely slept. You look like one of two things," she started, raising two of her fingers.

"You look like someone who was beaten on the face or someone who cried overnight and didn’t sleep until the morning. And telling from the fact that you didn’t have anyone over last night and no one has access to your room, you cried overnight." She looked at me with a knowing face at her conclusion.

I looked for words to say, lies to tell that would get her off my back, but I found none, I was dumbfounded.

And just like that, the tears started gathering again. I cursed myself inwardly for being unable to act strong for just a few minutes and prove her wrong.

The tears won, and I was soon a mess, sobbing relentlessly.

One would’ve thought that Sofia would embrace me and let me cry in her arms, but she didn’t. She just sat there and watched me cry. In fact, she looked at me like I was the strange one.

And when I finally calmed down, she let out a sigh before she started.

"You need to understand that this is ’The Blue - Stone pack’ the renowned ruthless pack where only the toughest of wolves can survive."

"Why do you think it is the most feared pack, and the Alpha is the most feared amongst other Alphas?" She asked, looking at me as if she expected me to answer verbally.

"It is because he’s the only one tough enough to lead a tough and vicious pack." She answered, darting her eyes away from my swollen face.

She let out a sigh like she was trying to withhold something. She looked like she was in a war with herself.

"You want to know how I got to this level in this pack? I’ll tell you." She voiced, finally deciding to spit it out.

"My father was the former Beta of the pack. Now, someone would think that because of his service and sacrifice to the pack, his daughter would be given special treatment and reward after his demise, but it wasn’t so." She sighed. It was more of a sigh to calm herself down.

"What happened?" I barely finished my question when she replied curtly.

"He died in the last war the pack had with the vampires. My mom died too. I lost both of my parents in that war. I thought I was going to be rewarded for my parent’s service and given their legacy, hell, I thought a fucking assembly would be called for my parent’s sake, to honor them, their sacrifices for the pack. Instead, I got mocked for my loss. I was constantly reminded of their death but with mockery." She paused and inhaled deeply.

"I was constantly told that the reason why my parents died in the war was because they were weak, their wolves were weak and they didn’t even deserve to lead or live if they were so weak. But an army who fought alongside my dad told me that he stepped in to shield another wolf from being killed, but he wasn’t so lucky. Wolf’s bane was involved." My eyes were filled with pity for her, but she was quick to read them.

"And no, I don’t want your pity. I’ve had some pack members look at me with those eyes but never helped me when I was being bullied or punished for nothing." I opened my mouth, I wanted to ask what the Alpha did, but once again, she was ahead of me.

"You want to know what the Alpha did in all this? He turned a blind eye like he suddenly went blind or didn’t care what happened to me. And just like that, I was like a forgotten stone. My parent’s service went in vain." She finished, determination written on her face.

"I didn’t settle for that, I fought my way through the ladder of fame in this pack. If a she-wolf like me doesn’t have a rank, regardless of your late parent’s position, you’ll be treated as a nobody. So I began to fight for myself, I was greedy for power, and I fought for it. And now, a little respect is accorded to me."

"You have to fight for yourself. Become vicious as the members of this pack are the ones who tramples on others, not the one others trample on." When she didn’t say another word again, I knew that she’d finished.

"Why are you being nice to me? You were sassy at first. Is this pity?" I asked, and she threw her face away, just quick enough to bring it right back to me.

"I just don’t like it when someone’s helpless around me. If you’re weak, they’ll be talking about me, too. And I’m not about to be seen as weak. I’ll bring you your food." And with that, she excused herself.

I remained on the spot, glued to the bed, my head bent as I thought through her words.

I’d cried all night, and nothing changed. Maybe Sofia was right, I needed to change.