CHAPTER 59: 59

NYLAH

I dreaded sleep. Because the only dream I had was about that night, I almost died in the hands of my ex.

I withdrew from people. I didn’t want to be around anyone. Not even Sofia. What was I going to tell her? Even though I knew she was going to sympathize with me, I didn’t want any sympathy.

It only reminded me of back then when I would be bitten by Matteo in the club, and passersby would stoop to offer me their handkerchief to clean my tears or a piece of cloth to cover myself.

I preferred to be locked in my room, reflecting on my life and how I got to this same place I told myself I wasn’t going to be.

It was the third day. I woke up feeling the same. Nothing special. My stomach rumbled, but the sight of food made me want to throw up.

The memory of Matteo forcing me to eat stale bread and sour soup was all I could think of food, and it repulsed me.

I sat on the floor with my back against the wall and pulled my knees tightly to my chest. My head was buried in between my knees.

I’d heard a knock earlier, followed by Sofia’s pleading voice, but I didn’t react to it. I didn’t want her pity. It would only remind me of my past and break me further.

After trying all she could to get me to open the door, she finally left. I felt bad, but this was the only way.

She had helped me enough, I didn’t want to lull her into my problems all the time.

Just as I settled down to continue my new routine, I heard another knock... No, I heard several knocks on my door, and I sighed.

She should know I’m not going to open the door no matter how long she spends knocking. I didn’t respond, and just then, I heard the door unlocking.

’What’s going on?’

It was followed by a swing and sharp footsteps walking into the room.

I wanted to look up and see who had broken into my room. Perhaps Sofia called on the guards to break into my room. But a part of me didn’t care, didn’t mind. If she sees how persistent I am, she will leave.

That was what I thought, but I heard my name, and the voice was no other than Xavier’s voice.

A low gasp escaped my lips, and I finally looked up. Slowly, though.

"Nylah?" He called again, running and kneeling beside me on the ground.

He lifted my jaw with his finger and tilted my head sideways as if inspecting my face.

"What’s wrong? Why are you locked up in here refusing to come out of your room? You look like you’ve lost a few pounds. You’ve been starving." He said with worry in his voice.

Anyone standing in the room could hear the worry.

Sofia walked forward, placed the basket she was holding down in front of me, and sat on the floor.

"I brought you varieties. You should put something in your stomach." She said and got to her feet and walked away. She probably thought it was wise to leave us alone.

However, I didn’t see anything happening in that moment as nice. If anything, I felt bare. I felt like I’d let Xavier see me in my most vulnerable state.

I didn’t want to tell Sofia what was wrong with me, and I certainly didn’t want to tell Xavier either.

"Hey..." he called, raising my jaw and assessing my face as he slowed tilts it.

"Talk to me. What’s wrong, sunshine? Did anybody speak to you anyhow? Is it something I did? I want to know. You can’t brighten up my world if you’re not shining in your usual light." He spoke with a calm voice that had my mind whispering.

’Trust him! Trust him! Tell him!’ I shook my head to shake the thoughts, not knowing I did it physically.

"What? You don’t want to talk to me?" He asked. I didn’t reply. He stretched his hand.

"Come with me. I want to show you something." He looked at me with a soft gaze, and his voice made it hard to refuse him. It sounded like honey-dipped in salt.

I took his hand, and a smile crossed his lips.

He stood up and helped me to my feet. Let me out of my door. I winced when the sun met my face.

Soon, we were walking along a path with flowers on each side.

He stopped when we had walked halfway in the path in silence.

"I never believed one could be hurt in other ways that aren’t physical, but after I met you, I began to think differently." I paused. I wasn’t expecting the conversation to get heated all of a sudden.

"Seeing you hurt or not, your usual self hurts me. And I know I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I want you to know just how hurt I feel seeing you this way. All I need you to do is tell me what’s causing your pain. Let me take it off and make you happy again." He prodded, and I stood there contemplating what to do.

I’d told myself I wasn’t going to tell anyone about my abuse, but I didn’t want to see him hurt, and I wanted him to know what he was dealing with.

"I--" I opened my mouth to speak, but the words died in my mouth.

"I would destroy any man who brings you pain. Just say the word." He prodded, and I let the words fall off.

I told him about Matteo— the secret I planned to take to my grave. I told Xavier about him, and he didn’t say anything. Not even a hum all the while I was talking.

He only reached out for my face and cleaned my tears with his thumb. It felt like he was listening to a tale.

It was only when I was done that I noticed that he released his gritted teeth and sighed.

"I see..." He voiced. His voice had gone cold. There was nothing about it now.

"Do you know where this Matteo guy is now?" He asked, and I reached for his hand.

"Please, don’t do anything to him. It’s all in the past now. I was just triggered by the way you took me the last time." I replied, and he nodded, but I knew that he wasn’t convinced.

"Please don’t hurt him." I pleaded.

"I can’t promise you that." He said bluntly.

"Unless you get back to the Nylah, I know. Then maybe I will not kill him." He added.