CHAPTER 1207: CHAPTER 1287: THE LIANG FAMILY’S FLAW

Yixuan looked at her, his expression was very complex.

"I’m not pretending nothing happened."

"Then what is it?"

"I..." He lowered his face, seemingly wanting to hide his expression. But perhaps he didn’t know that the Liang family had a quirk; when they got shy, they’d either have a red neck, a red face, or red earlobes. In any case, they couldn’t hide it even if they wanted to.

She understood, but deliberately pretended not to know.

"What do you mean, you? If you don’t make things clear, how would I know what you really mean? Sneaking away, having a child in secret. You’re truly heartless, writing a letter home every so often but never leaving a return address. What exactly are you doing? Are you afraid I’ll hold on to you, afraid I won’t let go, or do you really hate me so much that you never want to see me again?"

She was originally teasing him on purpose, but as she spoke, she also felt aggrieved. "You... in your letters, in those family letters, you never even mentioned a word about me."

He was a bit flustered, seeing her eyes turn red, and quickly said, "I... I’m sorry," not able to say it wasn’t intentional because it truly was intentional back then. He closed his eyes; this was wrong, and knowing it was wrong, he had to correct it.

And the best way to correct it was to open up his heart and let her see it clearly.

Taking a deep breath, he said tensely, "The most painful thing in the world for me is four words, ’seek but cannot have.’ To like someone but not be able to have them, and not being able to force it; in that situation, even seeing the other person is just painful."

"I thought I could forget after leaving. But perhaps when I chose to give birth to Wu Wang, deep down, I never intended to forget. I was just deceiving myself with forgetting, thinking that by leaving and forcing myself to forget, things would get better and wouldn’t be so tormenting."

"I’m sorry for making you bear so much. Later on, when I calmed down, it wasn’t that I didn’t think of you, but... the longer it dragged on, the more afraid I was to go back."

He was probably a rather contradictory person. After calming down, he missed her day and night and remembered the way home but lacked the courage.

He might be quite cowardly. Leaving home was his choice, going back... afraid there wouldn’t be a place for him, afraid she’d be so mad at his leaving that she’d never want to speak to him again.

A person like him is really afraid of changes in his life, changes he cannot bear. Like falling in love with someone, liking someone; such feelings would turn his world upside down.

Feelings that are too intense are actually pretty frightening.

So, he wasn’t pretending not to know, but rather trying to use "going with the flow" to slowly regain his original place.

He tentatively reached out his hand, seeing that she didn’t refuse, only then boldly taking her hand. Some things need to be made clear all at once, even if, after knowing, she might consider him even more guilty.

"Actually... I always knew you’ve been looking for me."

Dong Huiying was slightly stunned. He said with difficulty, "The black market, that October I left home, the next spring I found out that you and Fifth Brother were looking for me with three portraits. But the black market wasn’t safe; I also knew Eldest Brother had enemies, worried his enemies might target you, so I did some covering up..."