CHAPTER 143: CHANGES

Aelin

"You—you were dying," I choked, brushing my fingers over his face. "You were—" My throat closed up. I couldn’t say it clearly but I had to try, "Apparently your body was c-cold. The black blood from the nun must have affected your whole body," I began to panic, "You should have let me heal you before-"

But his hand weakly reached up and touched my cheek making me pause. "You did it,"

I froze for a moment and looked into his eyes, then I placed my hand on his cheek.

What if I hadn’t? What if I lost him?

My throat closed around the words, my voice giving up before I could finish the thought. I couldn’t say it. I didn’t want to.

His eyes—those burning, storm-dark eyes—fluttered, weak and slow. And then his hand moved. Just barely.

His knuckles grazed against my jaw, then curled with such care around my cheek as if the act alone might shatter me.

"You saved me," he whispered hoarsely.

My heart cracked.

A sob tore through me as I leaned into his hand, as I pressed my palm against the side of his face.

"No," I whispered, voice trembling. "I- I don’t even know what happened- I," I shook my head unsure what to say

AndI couldn’t say more. My throat hurt. My chest ached. My entire body shook as I looked at him. Pale. Sweat-soaked. Still burning too cold.

But alive.

He was alive.

And that should’ve been enough.

But as the wave of relief crashed and rolled back, anger curled beneath it like the tide pulling me under.

"You idiot," I muttered, suddenly pressing my forehead to his.

My words got his eyes to go full wide and his expressions clearly showed he was shocked. "Did you just?" He was most certainly amazed, "Are you-?"

"Why didn’t you let me heal you the first time?!" I said, gritting my teeth, "You wouldn’t have almost died if you had!"

His brows twitched slightly, still weak. "I’m... going to take a guess... that I’ve made you angry."

I pulled back, glaring at him through the blur of tears. "Yes! You should’ve let me heal you before, you impossible man! If you had just listened—" He smiled at me

"I know." His voice was raw, soft—but sure. "You’re right."

That stopped me cold.

I blinked at him. "Wait—what?"

A small smile ghosted across his cracked lips. "You’re right, Aelin."

He coughed softly, but this cough was just to clear his throat, not because of the corruption. I know I healed that with my magic, but he didn’t stop looking at me. "I was being foolish. I thought I had more time. But the corruption..."

He trailed off, glancing at his hands, still faintly stained with black blood he had coughed out before. "I underestimated it."

I swallowed, my rage softening into something more painful. "You were trying to protect me."

He gave the faintest nod. "I apologize, I should have accounted for ambushes and that things could go wrong in a fight with my health like that." He let out a soft sigh, "It’s not that I didn’t want to heal, I just wanted to give you time to recover,"

"No," I whispered fiercely. "I hope from now on you won’t do that." My hand gripped his tighter. "I don’t want you stopping me ever again if I want to help you." I got emotional, "I don’t want to see a scene like that ever again," And just like that tears rolled down my cheeks.

Draegon’s hand rose again, brushing against the tears streaking down my face.

"I’m here," he said gently. "Because you saved me."

"I almost lost you."

"You didn’t."

A heavy silence fell. But it wasn’t awkward.

His thumb ran over the edge of my cheek. "I saw light. When I was falling. I remember the warmth—your magic. It called me back."

"I honestly have no clue what happened," I said, "It felt like my power just burst out of me when I saw you losing blood." I frowned, "I panicked myself,"

He chuckled.

He actually chuckled.

My jaw dropped. "You think this is funny?"

I sat back slightly, just enough to glare at him without losing the comfort of his presence. "You almost died, Draegon. You were bleeding, Alishay was about to kill you. I thought—" My throat closed again. "And you’re laughing?"

His smile didn’t vanish, but it softened. "No," he murmured. "I’m not laughing at you. I’m just..."

His hand moved, slow but steady, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "This is the first time you’ve ever shown this much emotion."

!!!

I blinked. "What?"

"You always hold back," he said gently. "You feel things. I know you do. But you guard it so tightly, like you’re afraid of what it’ll mean if you let it show."

"I’m not—" I started, then stopped. Because he wasn’t wrong.

"I’m not mocking you, Aelin." His voice was quiet. "I’m just... happy. That I got to see this side of you. That you let me see it."

The heat that had built in my chest—rage, panic, fear—bled out slowly. And what was left behind was something more fragile.

Something raw.

I looked away, unable to hold his gaze.

I was surprised at that because I wasn’t aware of what I had done till this point too. But now that I think about it... I got angry.

I’ve never gotten angry like this.

He didn’t push further.

He didn’t have to.

Because the truth was... he was right.

I had been holding back. All my life, I was like this. Even when I worried, prayed, hoped. When I was bullied, when I was mocked, when I was losing, some part of me had remained locked behind the walls I had to build.

Because I had no other choice. I wasn’t allowed the luxury to feel angry or distressed.

But now that part was crumbling.

Because the fear of losing him had broken something loose inside me. The terror of seeing his body dying, still and cold, had reached too deep. Far deeper than I’d been ready for.

I let out a quiet breath. "I didn’t mean to... explode."

"You should explode more often," he teased, voice still hoarse. "It suits you."

!!!

I was so shocked at his words, my voice softened even more, "I’m serious."

"So am I." He replied

His smile didn’t falter, and then he opened his arms for me, "Come here,"

I felt my heart skip a beat at his words. He was asking me to get in contact with his body.

A moment passed. Another. I leaned into him again, resting my head gently against his shoulder, careful not to hurt him even though I had healed him.

I settled in and then smiled.

Right, I can do this because he’s my husband.

"You scared me," I whispered. "I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared before."

He murmured. "And I’m sorry." A beat. Then— "I’ll try not to do it again."

"Please don’t,," I mumbled into his chest.

His fingers moved again, brushing through my hair.

And as I sat there, the rage completely gone now, I realized just how much I had let myself feel. No hesitation. No calculations. Just pure, unfiltered fear... and love.

Love...

How strange

This was about him.

And me.

And how, somewhere in the chaos, I’d fallen for the man with jewel-like eyes

"I’ll heal you again," I said softly, "If anything happens."

"I know you will," he replied.

"I’ll get stronger. I’ll protect you next time too." This time, I felt like I could say much more to him than ever before. Like I didn’t need to be careful.

I don’t know how long I stayed there, half-leaning into Draegon’s chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breath—slow but steady. But I knew one thing for certain.

I had fallen for him and I wanted to be stronger for him too.

I had fallen for Draegon like a star falling from the sky—blazing, desperate, unstoppable. So much so that when I’d seen his eyes close in the clearing, seen that last gasp of air leave his lips and his knees hit the dirt, something inside me had shattered.

I’d broken apart.

And something ancient, something deeper than bone and blood, had answered that cry.

That power—that white-hot, golden light that burst out of me—I didn’t know what it was entirely, but it had come from the most desperate, raw part of my soul.

Because I couldn’t lose him.

I wouldn’t.

I pulled the blanket up a little more over his chest, smoothing it out without thought. My hands trembled faintly.

Resolve had begun to burn where the fear used to sit.

I had to get stronger.

Stronger than my doubt. Stronger than the strange worshippers. Stronger than whatever force the Abyss was growing behind those cursed gates.

I needed to find answers.

Because if I didn’t... I would lose everything. Other than me, no one had the ability to fight them with so much ease. Not the way I can.

A knock echoed at the door.

I turned quickly, straightening my posture as Draegon’s tired eyes drifted toward the sound.

"Come in," he said.

The door creaked open, and Ariston stepped inside. His clothes were neat but there was, a fresh bandage wrapped around his arm. But his face was calm, composed as always. He gave Draegon a brief nod before his eyes flickered to me.

"I didn’t mean to interrupt," he said, voice low. "But I thought you’d want to be updated."

Draegon leaned a little against the pillow, grimacing faintly. "Tell me." He said, "What happened at the clearing?"

Ariston stepped closer. "After your fall, and after the Princess saw... after she—" He looked at me, eyes thoughtful, almost wary. "—after she unleashed whatever that power was, there was a blast of light across the clearing. Every monster disintegrated. The remaining worshippers were... torn apart."

My breath hitched.

"Every monster... gone?"

Ariston nodded.

That power really had come from me? That was the moment, I faintly recalled that I used my power a little differently.

But Ariston wasn’t finished.

"...almost every enemy," he added, quietly.

Draegon’s eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

Ariston hesitated. His eyes slid to me again.

Draegon almost instantly knew, "Wait," He looked at me, "What happened to Alishay?"