CHAPTER 57: I’M THE MONSTER

Theodora was studying at her bedside table. She skimmed through all the textbooks she had borrowed from the library, but there wasn’t much to learn anymore.

Most of the stuff she saw, and was even though in class, was things she had taught herself back at home. When everyone neglected her, she had utilised that time and disciplined herself, learning everything she could.

At some point, she had become a bookworm - and everything she learnt, she put into practice. It was during her intense time of study that she had come to realise that Seraphina was a special wolf, given that she could do things no other wolf could.

At first, her mother had taught her about wolves and their history. Theodora still remembered sitting on her mother’s lap, asking innocent questions. She still remembered her mother’s beautiful smile and amber eyes, and how she would always tuck her into bed and kiss her Goodnight.

’Mum?’ Eight-year-old Theodora called.

’Yes, my little red rose?’ Daphne sat down next to her in bed, gently cupping her face.

’Will you lie with me so the monster doesn’t come?’

’The Monster would never come, my little rose. Unless you take off your pendant. As long as you always wear it, you’ll remain safe’

’Why does the monster only come when the Pendant is off?’

’Because it’s afraid of the pendant, rose. The pendant has powers that keep it locked away from you, and it’s best this way’

’The pendant glows sometimes. Why is that?’ she asked again.

’It’s reacting to you and your wolf. It’ll only happen when you feel intense emotions, which means you’ll have to learn how to control what you feel’

Theodora bit her lips softly, ’Do I have to wear it for the rest of my life?’

Her mother shook her head, ’No, Rose. I’ll make sure you don’t. Once I get rid of that monster, you can take off your pendant and finally live a regular life,’

’What if you’re not able to get rid of the monster? What then?’

Her Mother’s eyes fell for a moment, and she spaced out for a few seconds.

’Mum?’

Daphne’s eyes lit up once again, covering up the secrets that lay behind, ’As long as I’m here, I’ll get rid of the Monster once you turn fifteen. I promise,’

It was reassuring. Theodora thought that as long as she had her mother, she would be protected and she would be free from this monster one day.

But then, two years later, her mother’s head was delivered to the doorsteps of their mansion. It was the first time in her life, that she had felt the deepest kind of pain, and everything had changed.

Her father’s hatred that she was a girl ran deeper, and her brothers took advantage of her mother’s death and began torturing her.

Their mother, Gina, turned a blind eye to what they were doing.

One year of horrible, relentless torture and neglect, she had comprehended that she needed to stand up for herself. So, at just eleven, she had begun reading - spending more time at the library not just to read, but also to avoid her brothers.

And then, when everyone had retired from the training grounds, she would sneak in and begin putting her work into practice. As she did so, Seraphina often reacted and spoke to her, and Theo had taken her wolf as her first friend.

Not long after, Cain visited the North for the first time and grew close to her dad. He had brought Eric with him, and she still remembered her first encounter with Eric at the library. He had been a troublemaker, but he was also funny and better than her brothers.

He was the first boy she ever connected with. Maybe that was why she had loved him so dearly right from the moment he had snatched her book and made her run around the library trying to get it back.

She remembered the day she turned fifteen. Usually, her mother was the only one who remembered her birthday, and now that she was gone, it was just another day for everyone.

That night, was the first time she had taken off the pendant - even if it was just for a moment.

And truly, the monster had come.

She was the monster.

A monster that would have killed Caspian, if she hadn’t slammed it back to her chest.

She had cried profusely that night, alone in her room. She had hated her mouth for leaving her and had also missed her so much.

She had asked herself - would she ever be able to get rid of this monster without having to kill herself in the process?

And even till this moment, the same question remained in her mind. And there wasn’t a day that passed by that she didn’t think about her mother.

Theodora reached into her drawer and pulled out a picture of her and her mother. She was sitting on her mum’s lap and leaned back on her chest, and Daphne was laughing at something she said as they took the pic.

Those days, whenever Theo felt like giving up on training and getting her father to acknowledge her, all she had to do was take a look at this picture, and she would find her strength again.

Her mother had been her best friend and her teacher.

She was always there.

Till she was killed.

Rumours had it that it was the West that had slaughtered her, but there had been no trace left to confirm any of the suspicions. Warriors simply said, they had found only her head sitting by a lonely path in the forest, and it had been a clean slice-off.

What was her mother doing in a forest? What had killed her?

A lump formed on Theo’s throat and tears pooled in her eyes as she stared at the picture of her mother.

The tears rolled down her face, dropping on her shirt. Some days she would still wake up and hope her mother would walk in and smile at her like she did every morning. And some nights, she would dream of her mother.

Her soft touch.

Her smile.

Her kindness.

Lying on the bed as a kid, staring at her mother’s face.

Another tear rolled down her face, this time dropping on the textbook.

"I miss you, mum" She murmured softly, caressing the picture.

The silence was calm.

Then, the door of the room was flung open and Zeke stalked in like he owned the place, as always.