Chapter 42: What Hurts The Most - The Forbidden Light [BL] - NovelsTime

The Forbidden Light [BL]

Chapter 42: What Hurts The Most

Author: KitsuneYama
updatedAt: 2025-11-19

CHAPTER 42: WHAT HURTS THE MOST

Haru found himself back in Hayate’s room, the one that used to belong to Maldie.

He looked at the egg wrapped in a blanket. Even the colors of its shell filled him with disgust and hate.

His first instinct was to destroy it with Hoshizuma’s power, to crush it out of rage, out of revenge for what Hayate had done – but then...

...the anger faded into sadness. Haru couldn’t bring himself to hurt something innocent and defenseless. His lips trembled as tears began to roll down his cheeks, his body shaking with tiny shivers.

W-what’s wrong with me? Damn it, I don’t understand anything anymore!

This is too much for me...

Haru looked back at the egg.

Its shell started to crack.

H-huh? I-isn’t it too early?

The last say’s mine, Haru. This is your punishment. You’ll have to raise my child as your own. Killing a dragon always comes at a cost, came Hayate’s weak voice inside his head, fading like an echo.

Haru panicked, not knowing what to do. Instinctively, he went closer and sat at the edge of the bed. He expected a dragon’s claw to break through the shell, but instead, a small human hand appeared.

Haru’s parental instincts kicked in. He helped the baby out of the shell and pulled it into his arms. It was a boy. Haru wiped his tiny face with his kimono sleeve and wrapped him in one of the blankets that had covered the egg.

The child didn’t cry. He just smiled softly, calm and content. Haru noticed that even though he looked human, he had small wings on his back, little horns on his head, and a few scales on his cheeks.

The boy looked up at him. His eyes shimmered in a violet-gold gradient, ironically, the same color that could’ve belonged to a child of Haru and Shion.

Haru wanted to hate him, he really did, but he couldn’t.

The baby snuggled into his chest, trusting him, after all, Haru was the first person he had ever seen.

That’s when Shion walked into Hayate’s room.

Haru, still shaken, looked right into his husband’s eyes. Shion’s serious, angry face softened into confusion as he saw Haru holding a baby in his arms.

"So it’s true, then?" Shion asked, his voice heavy.

"Yes," Haru replied quietly. "I couldn’t let Hayate destroy our marriage, Shion. Maybe you’ll see what I did as cruel or thoughtless, but I did it for us. If I could, I’d get rid of this child too, but... I can’t. He didn’t do anything wrong."

"You’re forgetting he’s my child too," Shion said sadly. "No matter how you look at it, he’s half me."

"And that’s what pisses me off the most!" Haru shouted. "That he’s not mine!"

Haru broke down, crying loudly. His hands were shaking so badly that Shion had to take the baby from him or it would fall. The king pulled his husband into a hug.

"Haru, we’ll get through this. You know I didn’t do it on purpose. Hayate used me, but he didn’t destroy our future."

"Still..." Haru said in a trembling voice, his face buried in Shion’s shoulder. "I don’t want this child. I don’t want him near us, living with us, do you get that, Shion?! I know it makes me sound horrible, but his existence... it just hurts."

"I understand you, Haru," Shion said calmly, "but try to understand this too, he had no say in how he was born. Maybe, with time, you’ll grow to love him, even if it’s hard. And if you can’t love him, then at least don’t hate him. Don’t let him feel it."

"That’s easy for you to say," Haru whispered, holding him tighter, tears still streaming down.

"Besides, we have to give him a name. I don’t want it to carry any dark meaning. For mythical beings, names tie deeply to fate, much more than for humans. And I guess this child is... half something. He looks like a dragon, but I’m not sure."

"Name him whatever you want. I don’t care," Haru said through tears, his voice muffled against Shion’s sleeve, almost like he didn’t want Shion to hear him.

The king thought for a moment.

He recalled everything that had led to this birth: Hayate’s sudden appearance, what he had done, Haru’s rage, and the fact that gentle, kind Haru had actually killed someone to protect their marriage. It was all tied to pain and darkness.

He wondered – what good could possibly come from this child’s birth?

A trial.

A test that their marriage had survived.

Shion felt deep down that their bond would be stronger than ever. If they didn’t break up now, they never would. Before, he wouldn’t have even thought they could, but after everything that happened, it only made what was already certain even clearer.

He wanted a name that meant strength and hope, something that might soften Haru’s cold feelings toward the boy and give him a brighter future.

He also couldn’t forget that the baby had his royal blood, another descendant of the Hoshigane line

Then the name came to him.

Asahi – a name that meant a new day, a new beginning.

"Asahi," Shion said softly.

"H-huh?" Haru asked, calmer now, still resting against him.

"That’ll be his name. Asahi."

Haru looked into Shion’s eyes, full of questions, but no longer burning with anger.

"Don’t you think it’s a bit too optimistic... for someone born in such ugly circumstances?"

"I don’t think so," Shion said with a gentle smile. "I’d rather it stay bright than carry darkness. Maybe his warm name will melt your harshness toward him."

"I-I don’t know..." Haru murmured, lowering his gaze.

"Haru... how did you kill Hayate?" said Shion after a while.

Haru sighed. He told him everything – about the dream with Hoshizuma, the power he’d received, and how Hayate wasn’t just a dragon but one of the Four Primordial Beings – and that Yuri was meant to be a reincarnation of another.

As Haru spoke, Shion held his hand.

"I don’t know what Yuri or Asahi will grow up to be," he said quietly, "but let’s raise them the best we can."

"Y-yeah..." Haru mumbled softly.

His heart skipped a beat.

Even in such a painful time, Haru knew that his love for Shion, and Shion’s love for him, was what kept him moving forward.

*

Hoshizuma opened his eyes again.

"The preparations are complete," he said with a calm smile. "Now, a few years of peace await us, before my plan begins to bear fruit."

"S-so should I kill you now?" Shien asked nervously. "B-but I don’t want to..."

"Calm down, my dear," Hoshizuma said, lifting his chin.

The Forbidden Library trembled around them.

"From today on, you’ll be the librarian," Hoshizuma said, his eyes glowing with a bright, living light. That glow reflected in Shien’s blank eyes, he looked completely hypnotized.

Hoshizuma let go of him and walked away. Shien fell to his knees, staring into nothingness.

Hoshizuma turned left into one of the corridors filled with old bookshelves. He walked for several minutes, surrounded by dusty tomes stacked on heavy wooden shelves.

Finally, he reached a dead end – a stone wall with an old chest sitting in front of it.

He opened the chest and took out two things: a thin ritual dagger and an ancient parchment marked with a strange occult symbol – two pentagons facing opposite directions, set within a square at the center of a huge star drawn inside a circle.

Hoshizuma laid the parchment on the closed chest, then turned the dagger toward his throat.

"I, the first of the Four Primordial Beings," he said, his eyes blazing like galaxies, "command the will of the universe. I will be reborn in the body of the one whose mind I’ve been shaping for years."

His voice grew louder and then he drove the blade into his neck.

*

Ayame, though feeling fine, couldn’t shake off a deep loneliness.

After the wedding and the alliance sealed by Hoshigane’s envoys, Lan Yue and his servants cared for her as much as they could, she even got a special chair with wheels that let her move around on her own.

Lan Yue had fallen madly in love with her, but Ayame... she couldn’t return that same burning affection, at least not yet.

Yan Mo guarded the royal couple’s safety, Shu An always offered advice and help, but despite that, she felt empty inside.

She wanted to talk to her family and friends again, to tell them something, anything.

Sitting in the royal gardens, surrounded by flowers arranged in neat squares, she gazed at a beautiful fountain shaped like a woman among birds whose meaning she didn’t know. Ayame sighed.

Even if I see them again, I still won’t be able to tell them what I really feel, all because of that bastard’s spell.

"Looks like I’ll never speak normally again," she said out loud. "H-huh?! Wait – what?!" Her eyes widened. "Hoshizuma must’ve died for this to happen, but that’s... impossible!"

Suddenly, Ayame felt a sharp pain in her belly – like a baby’s kick – but that couldn’t be right, it had only been a few days since their wedding night.

Then she realized something terrifying.

There was life growing inside her, full of unimaginable, untamed magical energy –

– a familiar one.

"No matter what happens, this is our child," she whispered, trying to calm her panicked breathing. "Just like Yuri is Shion and Haru’s child."

But at the same time... they are reincarnations of those monsters.

No. I can’t think like that.

Ayame took a deep breath and focused on the small, pleasant things – a passing swallow, the soft rustle of petals, counting the few pink flowers scattered among the others.

With both fear and hope in her eyes, she looked up at the bright, clear sky.

Only the future will show what the universe has planned for us...

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