When I came down in the morning, Mahya, Rabban, and Sonak were sitting at my breakfast bar, plates in front of them. Rue was licking his chops beside an empty bowl.

“You cooked?” I asked Mahya, genuinely shocked.

“Of course not.” She jabbed a thumb toward Rabban. “He did.”

Now the world made sense again.

I moved to the counter, pulling out the coffee pot and filling it with water. I glanced back over my shoulder at them as the smell of roasted beans started to rise. “How was the trip?”

“Not bad,” Mahya said, pushing her plate aside before leaning her elbows on the bar. “The Occurrence I bought yielded some good metal ore, and we found two whites, a yellow, and a dungeon not on the list. So, in the end, it was worth it, but I don’t think I’ll be buying any more.”

I turned, spoon in hand. “Why not?”

“I have enough material to work with, and prefer to collect resources without paying for them.” She tilted her head toward me. “Oh, by the way, I have a shitload of meat I need to give you.”

“Why did you negotiate for ores and edibles? We have a ton of food.”

She nudged Rue with her foot, smirking. “Somebody wanted all the yummies.”

Rue lifted his head proudly. “Rue is adventurer too.”

During my conversation with Mahya, Rabban kept eating without pause, while Sonak sat stiff, his face set in stone as he threw the occasional glance toward the door. The idea of putting him at ease crossed my mind, but I tossed it out as quickly as it came. I had already suffered his bullshit on Earth and managed to work with him, but after the Archive, I didn’t owe him a shred of courtesy. As far as I was concerned, he wasn’t a guest in my home who deserved manners, but an unwelcome intruder riding on the coattails of a guy I genuinely liked. The best I could do was ignore him.

Al joined us, pulling out a stool and sitting. He blinked at Mahya. “You cooked?”

She scowled, crossing her arms on the bar. “What’s with the question? I can cook, I just don’t want to. John does it better.”

Rabban’s eyebrows climbed up, fork pausing halfway to his mouth. “So why did you ask me to do it?”

Mahya shifted in her chair, fingers drumming on the counter before she waved at the kitchen around her. “It’s not every day you get to experience such a kitchen. John put a lot of work into his domain.”

Rabban leaned back slightly, giving her a long look down his nose. “Aha. Sure.”

Mahya broke eye contact, fussing with a braid before flicking her hand dismissively. “I have stuff to do. See yuh.” She slid off the stool and headed for the door.

We all burst out laughing, Rue included, his tail thumping against the floor. Mahya shot us the finger on her way out, then slammed the door behind her.

Rue wasn’t shiny anymore.

“How did you get rid of the glitter?” I asked, eyeing him.

He gave a low growl, ears twitching back.

Rabban chuckled, setting down his fork. “The yellow was a swamp, and Rue got a good dunk.”

Rue growled again, louder this time, the fur along his shoulders bristling.

“Well, at least it finally removed the glitter,” I said in a conciliatory tone, holding my hands up.

He huffed, chest rising and falling, but didn’t growl again.

“We felt more Travelers in the zone,” Rabban said.

Al’s posture straightened with interest. “Who are they?”

Rabban shrugged, stabbing at what was left on his plate. “I don’t know. We headed their way, but they escaped, and we didn’t follow.”

“Why?” I asked, turning toward him.

Rabban spread his hands. “I don’t know. Our intentions were good, so I’m sure they didn’t get a warning from Perception. They felt much weaker than all of us. Maybe they got scared?”

“How many?” Al asked.

“Three,” Sonak said.

I slid Al’s plate to him and sat down to eat. Sonak pushed back his chair and walked toward the door. Just before leaving, he stopped and looked back at me. “Thank you for the book of runes you gave me. It helped greatly with my profession.”

I gave him a slight nod. Yeah, he was an idiot, but I couldn’t be a total bastard.

After he left, Rabban told us about the portals and dungeon they had cleared, along with the other things they had collected outside. Mahya had managed to get her hands on the turquoise beasts. I only hoped her idea of selling the furs in Saa was a passing thought. That Gate was weeks away.

On my way to the Healing Hall, Pi came darting out of a side street and latched onto my arm with surprising strength. Without a word, she tried to drag me off in another direction, her hair bouncing wildly as she pulled.

“What are you doing?” I asked, digging in my heels.

“Come, come, come. Hide. I will hide you.” Her words tumbled out in a rush.

I wrenched my arm free and steadied her by setting a hand on her shoulder. “Breathe. Relax. Tell me what’s going on.”

She blinked up at me with wide eyes, face pale, then leaned closer as if sharing a secret. “A healer from House Pelmen is here, looking for you. I must hide you. You saved us, and now I will save you.”

Her lips twitched into a sudden smile, her mood shifting as quickly as a flick of light. “I will be a hero. A saviour. I like being a saviour. It’s fun. Come, to be a saviour, I must save you first. Don’t resist.” She gave a little nod to herself, then reached for my arm again.

“And where is that healer?” I asked.

Pi only stared at me, unblinking.

I waited.

She kept staring.

After more than a minute, I asked again. “Where is that healer?”

Pi shook her head quickly. “No. No. No. Rescue does not work like this. I save you, not that fat healer.”

“Pi, stop!” I barked. “Relax. I don’t need saving. Tell me where that healer is. I want to talk to him.”

“Her,” Pi corrected.

“What?”

“It is a her, not a him. And she is fat and has a strange brown thing on her cheek.” Pi leaned closer, lowering her voice. “Maybe she ate too much Tisus.” She straightened abruptly and shook her head, pigtails swaying. “No. I eat Tisus and don’t have a brown thing.” Tapping her cheek with one finger, she paused in thought, then gave a little shrug. “Maybe she’s a duck in disguise.”

I didn’t know if the girl was crazy or just highly eccentric, but talking with her was an interesting experience.

How the hell does her party manage to work with her?

Maybe if I speak her language?

“So, Pi, where is that fat healer with the brown thing who eats too much Tisus?” I asked, spreading my hands.

Pi squinted at me, tapping her chin. “We do not know if she eats Tisus. Maybe it is from something else.”

“So let’s go and find out.” I tilted my head toward the street.

“No.” She crossed her arms and stamped her foot. “I need to rescue you to be a saviour.”

And just like that, we were back to square one. I sighed and dragged a hand through my hair, wishing Pi came with an instruction manual.

I felt Rue and Travelers approaching. Looking back, I saw Al, Rabban, and Rue heading my way, so I waited for them.

“Something is amiss?” Al asked.

Pi waved with both hands, bouncing on her heels. “Hello, Ra. Hello Al. Hello Rue. A duck in disguise is searching for Jo, but he is resisting. Why is he resisting? I want to be a saviour but—now I have a craving for Tisus. Ra, do you have Tisus?”

Al stared at her, utterly confused. Rabban just chuckled and slipped an arm around her shoulder. “Pi, darling. Start at the beginning. Slowly.”

She studied him for a long moment before nodding firmly.

Huh. Rabban spoke Pi!

“I woke up too early today,” she began.

I sighed and rubbed my scalp.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “I woke up too early,” she repeated, her tone sharper. “And I was hungry, so I went looking for fried cakes. Did you taste the fried cakes near the west gate? They are great.”

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Rabban nodded patiently. “Go on. What happened next?”

“It is near the Healing Hall, so I went to see if somebody was dying. You know? Since Jo came here, nobody is dying in the Healing Hall.”

“Yes, I know,” Rabban said. “Continue.”

Al glanced at me, his eyes the size of saucers.

I just shrugged. You get used to her. Eventually.

“This fat healer with the brown thing on her face talked to Oos.” Pi turned to me, her expression serious. “I do not think it is from Tisus. Tisus is too tasty to do nasty things.”

“I’m sure,” I said. “Please continue.”

“This fat healer asked Oos about the healer helping people without legs.” Pi jabbed a finger back and forth between the two of us. “We think she is a duck in disguise.”

“And…?” Rabban prompted, his tone patient, almost coaxing.

“I ran to find Jo to be a saviour.” She stomped her foot, fists clenched at her sides. “But he is resisting. Ra, tell him to stop resisting.”

“Did you check her level?” Rabban asked.

“Yes. She is level twenty-three. I need to hide Jo.”

I mimicked Rabban’s calm tone. “Pi, darling. Relax. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

Rabban gave her shoulder a reassuring pat. “We will protect him.”

She looked between the two of us, lower lip jutting. “But I wanted to be the saviour.”

Rabban patted her again. “Next time.”

Her face fell in a picture of utter dejection. “Fine.” A beat later, she brightened again and bounced on her toes. “You promise?”

“Yes,” Rabban said with a firm nod.

“Good,” she said, and skip-hopped away, already humming to herself as if the whole exchange had never happened.

Rabban chuckled, I shook my head, and Al kept glancing between us with a dazed expression. Rue was busy nosing around, sniffing everything in sight.

“What’s Tisus?” I asked Rabban.

“Chocolate. It tastes a little different from Earth, more bitter, but I think it’s better.” His expression sobered. “What do you want to do about the healer looking for you?”

“Go talk to her.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“I will come with you,” Rabban said.

“Me as well,” Al added, his tone firm.

The healer in question sat in the reception hall, surrounded by four guards. She was enormous, at least two hundred kilos, maybe more, with a wide brown birthmark across her left cheek.

I walked up, meeting her eyes. “Hello, I’m Jo. I heard you were looking for me.”

She eyed me up and down, her lips curling. “What house do you belong to?”

“I don’t.”

She made a disgusted sound. “A peasant then. I should have known no worthy individual would dare cross House Pelmen.” With a flick of her pudgy fingers, she dismissed me as though I were nothing. Then, without so much as another glance, she turned to her guards. “Kill him.”

The four of them drew their swords. I shot them with lightning. They dropped in a twitching heap.

“How dare you?” she screeched, her whole frame wobbling.

“How dare I? You’re the one who ordered my death. I should ask you this question.” I took a step closer.

“Do you know who I am?” she spat.

“No, and I don’t care.”

She lifted her hand and cast something. My stomach gurgled, and an intense nausea rose in my throat. I staggered forward, clutching my belly, and threw up right on her. She screeched so loud I worried the glass in the windows might shatter. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. My aim hadn’t been intentional, but it worked perfectly.

I turned around and headed to the center’s administration building, Al, Rabban, and Rue trailing behind me without a word. Rue’s claws clicked against the floor, the only sound as we walked.

“Is Manager Fu available?” I asked the secretary at the front desk.

She glanced up from her papers. “There is a representative of House Pelmen looking for you.”

“I know. We’ve met. Can I see Fu?”

“Just a moment.” She rose quickly, smoothed her skirt, and disappeared into his office. A moment later, she beckoned us in.

Fu greeted us warmly, standing to clasp my hand before gesturing for us to sit. His smile faded as he leaned forward, warning me about the healer.

I gave him the short version of what had just happened, leaving out the messy details, then asked, “Do you think House Pelmen will make trouble for the Cleaners?”

“The Cleaners as an organization, no.” Fu folded his hands on the desk, but his fingers drummed restlessly against each other. “But they might make trouble for our local branch.” His gaze flicked toward the door, then came back to me. “Not attack us or anything; we’re too big for that.” He rubbed his jaw, the lines around his mouth tightening. “But they might try to harm us in secret.”

I nodded, mulling it over. “I have two people left I need to finish the healing. If you don’t have anybody else, I can leave to save you the trouble.”

Fu rubbed his face with both hands. “I contacted the branches in the other outposts and let them know you can help.” He exhaled, long and loud, shoulders sagging. “Those bastard nobles. I hate them. The only thing they care about is money, not people.”

“I might have an idea,” I said carefully. “But I first have to talk with the rest of my party.”

Fu leaned forward, eyes narrowing. “What is it?”

“I won’t say anything right now. Let me consult them, and I’ll get back to you.” I glanced around the office, then back at him. “Also, do you have an empty office here? I want to finish with the people I started and don’t want to meet that healer again.”

He went out to speak with his secretary, the door clicking shut behind him.

“What idea?” Al asked, leaning closer to me.

“We’ll talk at home with Mahya present.”

Rabban straightened in his chair, eyes narrowing with interest. “Can I join?”

“Sure.” I gave him a small nod. “By the way, you can go. I don’t think I need backup here.”

Fu arranged an office, and I finished treating the patients I had left. I had already done most of the work, so it took me only about three hours to finish with both of them.

When I got home, everybody was waiting for me, including Rabban and Sonak.

The minute I walked through the door, Mahya asked, “What idea?”

Yeah, that girl had zero patience.

“Give me a few minutes.”

I set about making coffee, Mahya drilling my back with her stare the whole time, her foot tapping against the floor in quick rhythm.

When everybody was settled with a cup in hand and I’d finally formulated how I wanted to present it, I sat down at the bar. “I enjoyed healing and helping those people. Remember, they all lost their limbs protecting people from monsters, and now they can go back to doing it.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know all of this,” Mahya said, waving a hand, her tone sharp with impatience. “Get to the point.”

“I was thinking. You want ores, right?”

She nodded.

I looked at Al. “You want to collect herbs and stuff.”

He nodded too, eyes intent.

Mahya made a rolling motion with her hand, her whole body practically vibrating with impatience.

“We can change our glamor and relocate to another outpost. Since three people with a dog are too distinctive, you all can be invisible. I rent a one-bedroom house and contact the Cleaners to continue working with their staff. In the meantime, you two don’t really need to buy portals and dungeons. You can go into the zone invisible and do your thing there. At some point, House Pelmen will reach that outpost too, so we move to a different one. Of course, we won’t move from one to the other in a straight line, but zigzag between them.”

I looked at Al. “You can register as an independent alchemist and continue working with them. I saw how much you enjoyed it.”

“And you,” I said to Mahya, “can go and investigate the towns and cities near outposts like you wanted to.”

Rabban leaned forward, brow furrowed. “Why do you want to do that? Won’t it be easier for all of you to simply leave?”

“Yes, but we didn’t come here to heal a few people, gather some resources, and be on our way. Mahya wants to find out more about their Magitech, and both of us are curious about the planet upgrade process. And to see it up close, we need to be near a red zone. Of course, we can register as a regular party to observe it, but I prefer to spend my time helping people instead of diving into portals and dungeons.”

“I didn’t see you going into the zone to investigate,” Mahya said.

I sighed and slumped. “Yeah, I planned to do it after I handled all the amputee Cleaners, but it looks like it would have to wait a bit.” I looked between her and Al. “What do you think?”

“I do not mind,” Al said, folding his hands neatly on the bar.

“I need to think about it,” Mahya said, her fingers drumming against her cup.

Al tilted his head, watching her intently. “What do you have to think about? You are the one who wishes to remain in this world the most. So what is the problem?”

Mahya opened her mouth to reply, but the house protection flared, and I jumped in surprise. The sudden pulse of mana shimmered through the walls like ripples on water.

“What?” she asked, turning sharply toward me.

“Wait here,” I said, already heading for the door.

Since the house was anchored inside a building, we didn’t have windows. The whole place was a dungeon dimension, with the only access point being through the door. The door was made of plain wood and, unfortunately, not transparent. I pressed my palm against it and gave the core a mental order to create a small glass pane. As the wood reshaped itself with a faint creak, I leaned forward and peeked outside.

The building we rented was falling apart. Half the walls were gone, and some beams were exposed. Outside stood the fat healer with a large group of guards, at least thirty. She was barking orders and pointing toward the house, her face flushed red. The guards carried strange contraptions, wand-like but shaped like rifles, and they were firing in steady bursts. Each weapon spat glowing blue orbs that slammed against the house’s defenses, hissing on impact and sending faint vibrations through the floorboards.

I returned to the group. “Turn invisible and follow me.”

“What’s going on?” Rabban asked, rising from his stool. The others were already on their feet, tense and waiting.

“People from House Pelmen are attacking the building.”

Mahya’s face darkened. “We need to kick their butts,” she said, voice sharp with anger.

“Of course, but they have gizmos that shoot mana balls, and I don’t want us to get hit.”

“I’m not—” she started, temper flaring.

“I’ll get us out the back,” I cut in, not caring what she not. “And we’ll handle them from behind.”

We hurried behind the stairs, boots thudding on the wooden floor. I asked the core to create another door, and the wall shifted slowly into an opening. “Be careful now,” I warned, lowering my voice. “I don’t know if the house is surrounded.”

They all turned invisible and cast various protective spells. I peered through the window. Sure enough, five more guards were stationed behind the building, though they weren’t firing, just keeping watch with hands on their weapons.

I bent my knees, ready to take off and fly through the gap, but Mahya’s hand clamped on my arm. Invisible or not, her reflexes were something else.

“Don’t,” she sent telepathically, her tone firm, her grip tightening on my arm. “We have the sleeping potion. Rabban, Sonak, if you still have the masks, put them on. Rue, you too.”

Yes, she was sometimes annoying, but a genius nonetheless. We potion-balled the guards, and they toppled over in unison, hitting the dirt in a synchronized swan dive.

“Wait here,” I sent, then slipped out the window. The main group was clustered around the healer, still firing. I fired potion balls into their midst, and one by one they slumped to the ground, twitching before going limp.

Hovering above the roof, I scanned the street. The place was deserted. Rubble, broken shutters, and the cracked stone of the building lay in a big heap, and there was no soul in sight. I had expected adventurers—Eliminators, whatever they called themselves—to rush toward the commotion. Instead, the place was completely empty.

I got back to the group, closed the house, and stored the core. “We should leave,” I said.

“Wait,” Mahya said. “Now I have an idea.” She huffed. “Okay, it’s your idea, but I’m adopting it. Remember what we did to the cultivators that attacked us?”

“You want to remove their clothes and equipment?” Al asked.

“You bet your ass I do. If you attack us, you pay.”

Someone snorted—Rabban or Sonak, I wasn’t sure. Invisible and all that.

“We should drag them in first,” I said.

“I do not believe there is enough ‘in’ left,” Al said dryly.

“You are all insane,” Sonak said.

“Yes, and proud of it,” Mahya said.

Rabban roared with laughter, the sound echoing off the ruined walls. Once he settled down, he said, “I’m going to join you in the new outpost.”

“What?!” Sonak half-screeched, his voice cracking.

“It’s going to be fun,” Rabban told him, still chuckling.

We dragged the whole group into the last standing part of the building, dropped invisibility so we wouldn’t trip over each other, and began stripping them one by one. Clothes, armor, and weapons went into a pile. Each of them had a storage ring, and we set those aside to check later.

That left only the healer, and we all stared at her with varying degrees of reluctance.

“You’re a girl, you should do it,” Rabban said, gesturing at Mahya.

“I don’t think it’s a gender issue,” Sonak said.

“She still should do it. I’m not touching her. I’m not a pervert.”

Mahya sighed, muttering under her breath, and started undressing the healer. After a moment, I joined her. The woman had rings on every finger. Not all of them were storage, but each hummed with some kind of magical effect. We stripped them off along with her other jewelry, heavy with mana. She was going to feel the loss acutely, and I was glad. She deserved it and more.

By the time we were done, the entire squad lay naked as babies. We turned invisible again and got ready to leave. People were already starting to return, gathering in clusters and gawking at the destroyed house.

“Wait,” Rabban sent.

One by one, the word “Pissbucket” appeared on their backs, written in thick black permanent marker.

“Rabban,” Mahya said. “I always knew I liked you. But starting today, welcome to the family.”