Hiruzen's hands trembled.

The office was dead silent except for the soft rustle of paper as he turned another page of the accursed thing.

"Danzo x Hiruzen – Volume 1: Behind the Hokage's Desk."

How the hell did this happen?

He'd thought it was just another piece of gutter fanfiction at first. But the sheer accuracy of certain details—Danzo's Sharingan, his Hashirama-infused right arm, even his hidden chambers in the Root facility—was far too on the nose to ignore.

And now, because of a graphic homoerotic doujin, the people were beginning to question the chain of command.

"If Danzo's been caught doing this much and still walks free, maybe the Hokage is really under his thumb... or under his desk..."

That line had made it into the civilian council's morning report.

He barked out, "Get me the ANBU Commander!"

Seconds later, a masked operative appeared.

"Sir."

"How did this spread?!"

The operative produced a confiscated stack. "Self-published under the alias Jiraiyakko's Left Hand. No official printing house. Distributed via local bookstores, courier birds, and somehow... school libraries."

"WHAT?!"

"There's a section... involving the Elders as Danzo's accomplices—romantically and politically."

Hiruzen groaned into his hands. "I'm going to be remembered as the bottom Hokage."

"...Yes, sir."

"WHAT?"

"Nothing, sir."

"Find the author. Burn the copies. Bribe the Daimyō. I don't care if you have to rewrite history—erase this narrative!"

Scene: Kumogakure – Raikage's Office

Ay III was howling.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The sound of his laughter shook the rafters. Several scribes had taken cover behind decorative pillars.

One of his intelligence officers stood in the center of the room, arms stiff, sweating.

"Lord Raikage... this publication is now in circulation in every major Land of Lightning port. Our civilians are... quite enjoying it."

"Volume Two is called 'The Shadow's Grip'?! This is art!"

"Sir, respectfully, it may be more than comedy."

Ay sobered slightly, squinting. "...What do you mean?"

The ANBU pulled out a red-marked excerpt.

"Danzo handed over the key to Uzushiogakure's defenses. Hiruzen did not punish him at all. He received zero punishment for his actions whatsoever. He walked away scot-free."

The Raikage stopped laughing.

"...That's not satire."

"No, sir. That's a leak."

"...Motherfucker."

The room went quiet.

"Gather intel on this Aizen Sōsuke. If he's this embedded in the political rot, we'll need to know more. And if this book has Volume Three..."

He cracked his knuckles.

He was going to watch as Konoha ate itself.

Sunagakure – Kazekage Tower

"...."

The Third Kazekage stared blankly at the ANBU in front of him, who held up a scroll with the publication sealed inside.

"...Sir. We confiscated this from a civilian merchant caravan from the Land of Fire. It has... graphic implications about Konoha's inner politics."

The Kazekage opened it slowly.

He read one line:

"Danzo whispered, 'Say the Will of Fire... backwards.'"

He closed the book.

Burned it with Iron Sand.

"I don't care what perverted game Fire Country is playing with their own image—but while they're distracted?"

He looked toward the map.

"Double our military output. We strike when the world forgets we exist."

Who the fuck wrote this shit? Yet, if you could ignore the old man dick—because trust me, there was a lot—this was showing some important routes of Konoha's internal system. While some other parts were clearly... improvisations.

So whoever was giving this author intel was most likely a jōnin, but nothing above that—since the Root ANBU routes seemed blocked off. The only routes known appeared to be tied to Root agents.

Kirigakure – Mizukage's Chambers

A thick fog rolled through the Mizukage's private office.

The ANBU commander stood at attention.

"It's... unusual intel, my lord."

The Mizukage unsealed the scroll and peered at the cover, frowning.

"...So Konoha's crumbling from within, then."

"Yes, sir."

"Aizen has published their shame to the world?"

"We believe it's an external sabotage effort—anonymous author. Possibly linked to the Uzumaki clan."

The Mizukage leaned back, tapping his fingers.

"Hiruzen will be preoccupied with public image. Get our sleeper agents into their shipping guilds while he's distracted. If we get this Aizen name again... do not engage."

"...Understood."

Iwagakure – Tsuchikage's Office

Ōnoki was stretching his spine when it hit.

"Lord Tsuchikage! Urgent report!"

An ANBU knelt and presented a secured scroll.

Inside was the magazine.

Cover Title:

"Danzo x Hiruzen – Volume 1: Behind the Hokage's Desk"

The art was aggressively... anatomically accurate.

"...What the hell am I looking at?"

He read a few lines.

Then a few more.

Then his expression darkened.

"Where did this come from?"

"Spread across Fire Country. And through Land of Iron routes. Confirmed printings found in the Capital."

Ōnoki rubbed his temples. "It's a political hit piece. Disguised as erotica. A very effective one."

"Yes, sir."

"And the leak about the Uzumaki defenses?"

"...We believe that portion is credible."

"Dammit..."

He turned to the ANBU. "I want an investigation into how many of our elders had backroom dealings with Danzo. Quietly. Discreetly. And get me more on this Aizen Sōsuke. He just destabilized the Leaf without firing a shot."

He exhaled through his nose.

"...And if there's a Volume 3, I want it delivered... uncensored."

The ANBU paused.

"...For analysis."

"...Get out."

A/N on an unrelated note the book has key phrase if said, will have a dialogue play.

For example.

If Danzo said, you will regret doing this Hiruzen,

A dialogue where he dick down Hiruzen appear.

If Danzo said I am doing it for the good of the village a dialogue and slight image of Hiruzen giving him brain would play.