TL/Editor: Butter Cat

    Status: 4/week mon-thurs

    Illustrations: none

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    〈 Chapter 56 〉 Chapter 56. Macro-Void.

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    **

    Is this emptiness, or is it futility?

    The sensation of everything I believed in crumbling from the ground up, piece by piece.

    Human ignorance, not even knowing what one knows and doesn''t know.

    My eyes saw nothing, my ears heard nothing, and my hands grasped at nothing.

    Am I walking, or am I standing still? Or am I lying somewhere, waiting for death?

    Even that simple deduction wouldn''t come to me.

    —Throb!

    "Han, Sia."

    I muttered the name of the mercenary who was still tormenting me.

    I clutched my throbbing head and recalled the image of that infuriating woman who had driven me to this state.

    Black hair and black eyes.

    A person who stubbornly insisted on putting her last name before her first name, an unusual arrangement.

    (TL Note: That’s how names in Korea work, since Han is a reincarnator and all)

    The girl who always had a goofy grin plastered on her face, as if she was happy about something.

    As the image of that woman, whose unique style was, to put it nicely, and to put it bluntly, suspiciously unsettling, flashed through my mind, the headache that had been subsiding resurfaced.

    My vision distorted and narrowed, growing darker, and the now-familiar pain of needles piercing my brain returned once again.

    By now, it was more of an annoyance than pain.

    The deep furrow between my eyebrows, was a testament to my feelings.

    "I''m sorry for her, but right now… ?I hate her."

    I hadn''t liked her from the moment I first laid eyes on her.

    It''s not that I was the type of person who judged others based solely on their appearance or first impression.

    Some people in certain kingdoms might believe that "people with any black body parts on their body are the fingertips of a witch, and they can perform acts of witchcraft," but that''s their business, not mine.

    Rather, her unique appearance was refreshing, with its own charm.

    And her title as a mercenary, belonging to one of the few crown-sanctioned and managed mercenary group in the empire, was quite intriguing.

    (TL Note: Decided to use crown instead of government cause… Middle Ages…)

    Her timid and delicate appearance, which shattered my preconceived notion of mercenaries as being rough and tough, was rather endearing.

    To put it simply, her first impression was above average, quite good.

    Rather than those unrealistically perfect individuals, she was moderately likable.

    Those interesting backgrounds would have been a plus, not a minus.

    So at that time, I thought that if there was nothing particularly problematic, I might be able to build a good relationship with her in the future.

    Yes.

    I thought that way.

    That is, until I saw her gently caressing the bracelet on her wrist, as if it were something precious.

    —Crack.

    "Really… how unsightly… Hu… huhu… Hahaha..!"

    My emotions were gradually intensifying.

    Where were they directed?

    As the waves of those unpleasant emotions crashed over me, a chilling sound began to emanate from the railing I was gripping.

    If I had been gripping someone''s arm instead of a railing, something very unpleasant would have happened.

    The railing shattered with a scream, and countless wooden splinters piercing my palms, but the pain actually somewhat helped alleviate the headache that had been tormenting me, and I barely managed to stay on my feet.

    Slowly, with faltering steps, I started walking, leaving a trail of bright red blood.

    An aimless stroll, with no destination in mind, just walking wherever my feet took me.

    I wasn''t worried about getting lost and becoming a missing person within the vast grounds of the academy.

    I thought that too, in its own way, might not be so bad either.

    **

    Well, fine.

    At first, I thought it was just a coincidence.

    A really nasty coincidence, specially prepared by the world to torment me.

    The fact that the stems were woven in the same direction, the silver flowers that my little sister in particular loved so much, the teal ribbon tied at the end, which resembled Aris''s eyes, everything.

    All of it, I told myself, was just a coincidence.

    How many people in the world could possibly make bracelets?

    Roughly estimating, it would easily exceed several thousands.

    Just because it looked similar, of course it was enough to make my heart sink, but my mind wasn''t weak enough to lose my composure and rush towards her.

    But what truly tormented me than anything was something else.

    Han Sia, HER, stroking the bracelet made of artificial flowers that wouldn''t wither, her clear eyes devoid of any darkness, picturing someone who wasn''t there.

    And me, carrying around the remnants of a withered flower crown in my pocket, its original form long gone and decayed beyond recognition, recalling someone I could no longer see, bringing her back from the past, remembering her.

    So similar, yet so different.

    A gap that had formed somewhere, a gap so wide it could never be bridged, I couldn''t even fathom where it had started.

    Seeing Han Sia clutching the bracelet whenever she felt down or overwhelmed, finding strength and comfort in it, sends me into an indescribable anger and self-loathing.

    Why are you making that happy expression.

    When I''m crying like this.

    What are you looking at in that empty void.

    When I have nothing left.

    For no reason, I felt a surge of anger.

    She was clearly just an ordinary classmate who had nothing to do with me, her actions shouldn''t have impacted me at all.

    Whether she lived well somewhere or not, it wouldn''t affect my life even as much as a single sheep''s hair.

    But strangely enough, whenever she looked at her wrist with a happy face, my mood plummeted.

    I started to feel irritable and complain about trivial matters that I would have ignored before, and my heart felt empty, like a bottomless pit that couldn''t be filled.

    Even when I tried to listen to the soothing music Tessa recommended while reading a book.

    Even when I tried to exhaust myself at the training ground, pushing my body to its limits so I wouldn''t have the time to think about anything else.

    Whenever I saw her image flickering before my eyes, my heart would be consumed by darkness.

    ''Uh... in our Wallenstein mercenary group, we mainly use polearms and spears for our infantry…’

    ‘… Doesn’t Miss Han use a sword?’

    ‘Ah, that… I have a rather unique situation… um, I was granted permission to use a sword personally…um…yes…that''s right.’

    Then one day.

    It was during a time when the teacher, as usual, was drawing the attention of the students in the classroom by having Han Sia share her vivid experiences.

    I was sitting at my desk, listening to the lecture.

    ''........''

    Thud, the pen in my hand slipped and fell to the floor.

    The accumulated fatigue had long since passed its limit, and my body, which should have collapsed long ago, was in no condition to properly attend class.

    My eyes trembled, my hand wouldn''t obey me, my body was falling apart.

    My body was so broken that I couldn''t even hear what Han Sia was saying right next to me.

    Even the writing on the blackboard, which I could usually read without any problems, was now just a blurry mess.

    I was in such a bad shape that I would have excused myself and left the classroom even at the risk of being rude under normal circumstances.

    But for some reason, I didn''t raise my hand nor did I leave the classroom. Instead, my eyes were following her, the girl who was standing next to me, looking at the students and teaching the lesson.

    I saw flower petals swaying gently in the wind.

    My unusually sensitive nose picked up a faint fragrance in the air.

    As if mesmerized, I just stared blankly at the bracelet on her wrist.

    The love contained within.

    The affection embedded within.

    The moment I saw it, I clearly said, in a voice so low that no one else could hear.

    —I want that bracelet.

    Anger rising for no reason.

    Anguish that suddenly appeared and devoured my body.

    Irrational emotions directed at someone who had nothing to do with me.

    The name of that emotion is envy.

    "—No."

    I can''t, accept it.

    I shouldn''t, accept it.

    **

    "....Ah."

    My footsteps finally stopped.

    It wasn''t because there was an obstacle blocking my path that I stopped.

    It wasn''t because I had run out of energy to walk, nor was it because I was overcome by fear of being lost.

    There was nothing but a wide open door before me, inviting me to enter, I was still breathing, and if I were the kind of pathetic person to be anxious about this, I would have already ended my own life long ago.

    After all, I had been wandering, having lost everything, for the past two years already.

    Nevertheless, the reason I couldn''t move forward and just stood here like this, was because the world was too cruel.

    Really, It was too cruel.

    Whoosh— S~ea??h the n??el Fire.nёt website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

    "....Ha…Haha…"

    As the late summer rain poured down heavily, signaling the end of summer, the humid wind now disappeared.

    A cool breeze was now blowing, but the wind coming from in front of me still carried the warmth of summer.

    A glass house, its interior visible through the transparent walls.

    Inside, green life flourished.

    I had arrived at a place I had never set foot in, even though it had been almost two years since I came to the Museion.

    A place I had lost my reason to visit after Aris disappeared.

    The end of my long journey was a beautiful greenhouse where flowers bloomed vibrantly.

    —Thud.

    I heard the sound of something hitting the ground.

    At the same time, the scenery around me spun, and the plants that had clearly been growing on the ground were now blocking my view.

    The plants couldn''t have grown so suddenly, so my vision must have lowered.

    Ah.

    I see.

    I''ve collapsed.

    "....This is really, the worst."

    And my vision faded to black.

    **

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