TL/Editor: Butter Cat

    Status: 4/week mon-thurs

    Illustrations: none

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    〈 Chapter 63 〉 Chapter 63. Oh, Time, Stop. You are truly beautiful.

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    A moment, so radiant, had arrived in my life.

    Their brilliance, dazzling enough to blind the eye, was no less than that of the stars burning in the universe.

    Considering the infinite possibilities and the eternal future that was yet to come, I wonder if such a moment more beautiful than this would ever grace me again.

    Knowing that it might blind me, I couldn’t help but stare at them, mesmerized, like a moth drawn to a flame.

    Even though I knew, it would eventually burn me.

    They were.

    "—Tessa, Tessa!! How about this?"

    "....I thought you were up to something, You were really looking at the camera!?"

    Laughing and joking with a friend who’s on the same page.

    "Ugh… I''m tired and lazy… I just want to cling to Alice and live off her… Waaah."

    Or sometimes just staring at the sky, without a thought in their minds.

    They were living a life that was more grounded in reality than anything else.

    Worries about the uncertain future that were meaningless to dwell on, regrets about the past that would only torment them if they dwelled on them, these things wouldn''t hold any meaning for them.

    Because this moment, right now, was far more important to them than wasting their time on those narrow, useless thoughts.

    It didn''t mean that they were content with the present and had given up on the future, like someone here.

    It simply meant that they had realized the truth of life, that if they lived in the moment, the future they desired would naturally follow.

    Not servile, not arrogant.

    Not powerless, not hasty.

    Not trapped in the past, not adrift in the future.

    People who are truly ''living'' in reality, not merely ''existing'' like me.

    I’m proud to be me—

    I’m proud—

    Prou—

    Prou,d?

    "...........Ah?"

    Even without looking in a mirror, without tracing the corners of my mouth with my fingers, I could clearly picture what expression I must be wearing.

    I quickly lowered my head, hiding my face from view, and desperately tried to compose myself, but my twisted expression wouldn''t fade.

    No.

    This can''t be happening.

    Are you really going to show them this face?

    ".........."

    But for some reason, the corners of my lips, which had drooped so low, wouldn''t curl back up.

    As if they were frozen in place.

    Life, a marathon with no finish line.

    A grand journey where the direction you head towards becomes your ideal, where every step you take is a manifestation of your will, where the footprints you leave behind are etched into history.

    On that glorious path, it''s not enough to just keep looking forward.

    Sometimes you have to look around, to appreciate the vast scenery, to take a detour onto an unfamiliar path and see a new side of the world, they, running with all their might, were victors in their own right.

    Who could dare to say that the path they chose was wrong.

    At least, not me, who wasn''t even allowed to stand at the starting line.

    Not me, who could only watch them from afar.

    I didn''t have that right—

    "—No. I know that all too well."

    "Uwaaaaaah! Aris, Tessa is bullying me—! Scold her!"

    "Wh-When did I ever do that!?"

    Thump, a soft impact enveloped me.

    My blood relative, with her face brimming with excitement, unable to hide the joy and anticipation despite her feigned crying, clung to me. Following her, the librarian, looking thoroughly flustered as if she hadn''t expected for me to be used as a shield, approaches.

    Normally, I would have played along, putting on a clown (Crown) act to bring laughter to those around me, but strangely, I couldn''t do anything.

    Because this moment, was truly perfect.

    ".........Hee."

    I became a clown who wasn''t even allowed to laugh freely, with only the red tint on my lips permitted in a world of monochrome.

    A clown with traces of tears lingering heavily in both eyes.

    Really.

    At this rate, I''m completely turning into a Pierrot.

    (TL Note: Pierrot is a sad clown character from Italian comedy.)

    "Why!? I''m just trying to take a picture of our pretty Aris, what''s so wrong with spending a little money!! Right, Aris?"

    "…Yeah…"

    "Oh my… My head…"

    The best I could do was to bury my face in her embrace, accepting her body that was yearning for me.

    My skin, which normally could sense the warmth of objects, now felt nothing more than rubber when touched by anything, I couldn’t feel anything.

    Not my arms, not my cheeks, not my lips, not my neck.

    All the sensitive parts of my body, nothing.

    It was as if everything was empty.

    Like a pathetic doll with all its stuffing removed.

    "........."

    Surely, the distance between them and me is no more than the thickness of a few layers of fabric.

    Surely, If I reached out, if I leaned my head against theirs, I should be able to feel their warmth right before my eyes, and yet.

    This inescapable emptiness.

    This sense of distance.

    I wondered what it is.

    I couldn''t understand the reason.

    No.

    "—No."

    "Aris? Did you say something?"

    Actually, I knew.

    Yes.

    It would be a lie to say that I didn''t know.

    That I wanted to keep watching their happy figures from afar, forever.

    That I wanted to settle for this reality and give up on the future.

    That I wanted time to stop, just like this.

    That I wanted to be happy like them, that I wanted to experience that happiness like them.

    Why, can''t I be like them.

    That was what I had thought, all along.

    That was the reason why I had always longed for death in a life that seemed to stretch on forever.

    Because jealousy had settled in my green eyes.

    I was just, falling into hell, following my fate.

    "—Ah."

    I want to die.

    **

    As if an invisible weight was holding me down, preventing me from moving forward, my limbs bound.

    But at the same time, it felt like a chain, hanging from the ceiling and wrapped around my neck, was forcing me to stand up, preventing me from collapsing.

    It was just an ordinary winter morning.

    "..........."

    —Ptui.

    As usual, I woke up clutching my throat, which felt strange, and started my day by spitting out a mouthful of saliva mixed with dark, clotted blood.

    My throat, which still felt clogged, showed no sign of improvement, but I couldn''t waste a single moment, so I recalled the day''s schedule as the maids helped me get dressed.

    Review the documents from yesterday, write my opinions on them, greet the trade delegation that was coming for lunch, and then after that… military training, I think.

    The instructor would probably be the head of staff.

    —Rustle, rustle.

    "After the banquet with the Vale’s Knight—"

    "I know, it was Head of Staff Shusalian''s lesson."

    A schedule so packed that there wasn''t even a single gap.

    The doctor had said it was ruining my body and mind, but I didn''t care.

    Pushing my body and mind to their limits, was something I quite enjoyed.

    At least, when I was focusing on something, other thoughts wouldn''t enter my head.

    "....But actually—the lesson, has been canceled."

    But the words I heard from beside me were a sudden negation.

    Unless I had a problem with my memory, I hadn''t heard anything about a change in schedule, so logically, the military training should proceed as planned.

    Had something urgent come up for the head of staff, or had something else happened. I slowly turned my head to look at the maid who had informed me of this unexpected change.

    "...H-Hik!? Th-That is…!"

    "........"

    I saw her blue hair, fluttering in the air.

    If I''m not mistaken, she was a daughter of the Jabre family.

    With her overall appearance reminiscent of the sea, she flinched and curled up, letting out a small scream as soon as our eyes met, even though she was the one who had spoken to me first.

    The hairpin she had been holding in her hand, slipped from her grasp and clattered to the floor.

    A pitiful sight.

    At her trembling, uncertain appearance, the maids who had been adjusting my clothes also started looking at me nervously.

    The atmosphere crumbled in an instant and choked me.

    Really, this is suffocating.

    So suffocating.

    ".........."

    Suppressing the urge to spit out blood again, I quietly waited for her to compose herself.

    Although I couldn''t say I felt good about that gaze, as if she was seeing a ghost, this too was a burden I had to bear.

    I had no intention of blaming her.

    Nor did I want to blame her.

    "...I merely thought it was unexpected, so take your time and tell me again."

    "That...ah, I understand…"

    I don''t know if my words had any effect.

    But fortunately, she quickly regained her composure, her ragged breathing calming down, and started speaking again.

    Perhaps one mistake is enough.

    Seeing her completely changed demeanor, so different from her previous embarrassing behavior, I confirmed that she had the spirit to become a maid, after all.

    Of course, that didn''t mean her past mistake would disappear.

    Just like me.

    "After the banquet with the Vale’s Knight in the Hall of Mirrors, His Majesty has requested your presence at his chambers, Princess Anna."

    "......For what reason."

    Something that has never happened before.

    Because my parents always prioritized my opinion above all else, the weight of this order felt heavier than anything else.

    And to change my schedule so arbitrarily like this, without even giving any notice.

    What could they possibly want to say to me that they had to cancel my schedule without a word.

    "That’s…"

    "...I just asked, what is the reason."

    As her words began to drag on, I pressed again with a cold voice. Sёarch* The ηovёlFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

    Although it was a foregone conclusion to postpone the military training now that the king''s order had come down, but that was a separate matter.

    I had to know why they wanted to see me so urgently.

    This unexpected change in routine.

    It was a small curiosity.

    And the answer I received was something that defied all my expectations.

    "—It seems His Majesty intends to ask you to inquire about… the well-being of… the Second Princess, who is currently studying abroad in the Akard Empire."

    "........."

    Yes.

    Truly, in many ways.

    This was beyond my expectations.

    **

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