The Heroes Who Executed Me Are Obsessed With Me
Chapter 187 : When You Don't Know Yourself (3)
"I wonder."
Clay evaded the answer.
"But it would be best not to go in for now."
"You're not going in?"
Selimia made a questioning face.
"What did you see that made you say that?"
"It wasn't anything of great significance."
"That's not true."
She looked straight at Clay and said.
"Why won't you tell me the truth?"
"......"
"Am I a more terrible being than I thought?"
At that question, Clay let out a slight groan.
"It's not like that."
"Then why..."
"Because it's dangerous."
Clay answered softly.
"Not just for us, but for you as well."
"Dangerous, you say?"
"Yes."
He couldn't explain everything. But Clay had to make Selimia understand.
"If this door is opened, you might lose the self you are now."
She could become something she had never expected.
"You are..."
"What is it?"
She pressed Clay strongly, unlike her usual self.
"Please tell me."
"It's nothing good for you to hear."
"Still, please tell me."
Selimia, who had moved so close to Clay they were almost touching, opened her mouth.
"I want to be of help to you, Your Majesty."
She confessed so honestly.
"I was happy that you accepted me as I am. I hope you can continue to do so. But, if you hide things like this, what am I supposed to think?"
"Selimia."
"Do you also think of me as a being you cannot accept?"
That look.
Selimia's eyes were so sharp they looked eerie.
'Is this what others have been seeing in her?'
It was as if he could see transparent, sharp thorns coming from her. At a glance, it looked like killing intent, but,
'It's closer to self-protection.'
It felt like a fear of something had taken form. Clay let out a long sigh.
"Selimia, you are mistaken."
He told her.
"I am not saying this because I cannot accept you."
It was quite the opposite.
"I am worried about whether you yourself will be able to accept your own existence."
As he had said before, if this door was opened, she could lose her current self.
"If you are curious, I will tell you."
Clay said in a gentle, yet firm voice.
"You are a shell."
A shell that thinks it is the core. That was Selimia.
"Inside this door, something that is meant to enter you is sleeping. You could say you are a body constructed for that purpose."
"What does that..."
"Just as Elhaen seeks to obtain my body to descend upon this earth, the thing inside there is aiming for you."
Clay's expression hardened.
"The Selimia I know is only the you who is here now. The being inside there is someone I don't know at all."
An unknown being, whose danger was immeasurable, was right inside there.
"That's why I'm doing this. For both you and me."
Even if he needed one more card, he couldn't take this kind of risk now.
"So turn back here. This is the honesty you wished for from me."
He told her the truth. He didn't tell her everything, but for now, this should be enough.
"......"
As he expected, Selimia looked flustered. She couldn't handle his honesty.
"This is why I did it."
Clay said, as if muttering to himself as he looked at her.
"Now that you've heard the truth, aren't you more confused?"
"I..."
"You must have become even more curious about what's inside."
Even though it surely held an incredibly dangerous possibility.
"Everything about yourself, for which you couldn't find an answer, is inside there."
However,
"It could also be everything you wished to discard."
From now on, all that was left was the decision of whether to choose and bear that foolishness.
"As you know, I have accepted the you of now. I also need that you. I would have nothing more to wish for if you could be of greater help, but I do not wish to take this kind of risk."
It was a gamble.
"So let's leave here together. I will no longer be curious about what is inside here either."
"Your Majesty."
"Do as I say."
Clay knew well how painful it was to experience one's self-collapsing.
"I am saying this purely for your sake."
But Selimia did not turn back.
"If I say I want to check inside, will you let me?"
She chose the gamble.
"I want to check inside."
"Selimia."
"Your Majesty."
Her gaze was serious.
"As things are, I won't be of any help to you, Your Majesty."
She was strong. But there were many around her who were even stronger. Moreover, the greatest enemy was none other than Elhaen.
As she was now, she could not be a proper strength in facing him.
"If you don't want to open it, that's fine. It could be dangerous for you, Your Majesty. But if it's because of me, if you can open the door if it weren't for that, then please do so."
"As I've already said, it may be something difficult for you to handle."
"It's hard to handle things as they are now."
She clenched both her fists tightly.
"Because I feel so powerless."
"......"
"So I'm asking you."
Her will was firm. All that remained was Clay's choice.
'She's serious.'
He glanced at the door.
'If I open this, danger might certainly befall me.'
Because he didn't know what kind of being Selimia would become.
'But...'
He was in the same state as Selimia. As things were, he might not be able to properly stand against Elhaen. He had to increase his means, whatever they might be.
'Right. There's no need to be afraid now.'
He was a body that had already died once. There was nothing to hesitate about.
He turned his body towards the door.
"I hope you have no regrets, Selimia."
Because regret could also be a pain beyond imagination.
He gave her a final warning, but Selimia's expression did not change. Clay raised Excalbren.
There were several swings, but the door did not break immediately. A mana source connected somewhere. That was preventing the door from being broken.
'He made it so it couldn't be easily pushed to its limit.'
Clay focused his mind and began to sense the flow of mana. And he confirmed that the flow was connected to the floor.
KRAAK!
He first cut off the flow of mana by plunging his sword into it.
And then he drew his sword again and struck the door.
KWACK!
It began to break.
KWACK! KRAK!
Light streamed out from the cracked door.
"Selimia! Stand back!"
KWAAK!
And the moment the sword dug deep into the door,
KWAAAAAAAANG!
A tremendous explosion occurred. As his body was sent flying, Clay wrapped his arms around Selimia.
Soon, bookshelves rained down on top of them as they were slammed to the floor.
Dust billowed up.
Only after some time had passed did the explosion finally subside.
"Your Majesty, are you, alright?"
Selimia asked, frowning slightly as if her head was throbbing. Clay looked down at her and said, as if sighing.
"I'm fine."
Clay, who had shielded her with his body from the falling debris, immediately stood up and brushed himself off.
His vision was hazy and blurred. Clay picked up Excalbren, which had fallen nearby, and swung it once.
Hwaak!
The dust in front of him cleared.
And so, he discovered something standing inside the broken door.
"!"
A human figure.
Although only a faint silhouette was visible, Clay could immediately recognize what it was.
"That, is..."
Selimia muttered as she got up, her gaze turning in that direction.
Sssk.
The figure tilted its head as if reacting to Selimia.
"Selimia. You wait here for a moment."
Clay took a step forward to confirm if the figure was the being he thought it was.
"Are you a god?"
『…….』
The figure did not answer. It just took a slight step towards Clay.
Clay reflexively raised his sword.
"Answer me. Are you the master of that body?"
Again, there was no answer to that question.
'Don't tell me.'
Clay swallowed dryly.
'It can't speak?'
The being before him was made only of 'spirit'. In a way, it could perhaps be called a thought-form.
It was possible it couldn't speak because it had no physical body. But this world was full of beings who could speak without a mouth.
'Is it because it's not whole?'
It might be because it was still unstable in that state.
"Your Majesty."
Selimia said from behind.
"That, is it something like my soul?"
It seemed she too had realized what the figure was.
"You could say that."
"Then am I just..."
"You could be seen as a vessel."
Just as Elhaen regarded him.
That spiritual being must also be looking at Selimia that way.
"However, you probably have your own soul as well. Though it might only be a small amount."
"Ah."
"Are you prepared?"
Clay asked her.
"Now that it's been released, it will try to become one with you."
"I see."
"Do you regret it, by any chance?"
It was late, but at Clay's repeated question, Selimia's eyes widened for a moment before she shook her head.
"No."
Resolve settled on her face.
"Because I will become stronger."
With that, she took a step.
"From now on, I will do it. Please watch, Your Majesty."
Simultaneously, as if reacting to her, the figure also took a step. Clay could only stare blankly at the scene.
'I hope it's not something to regret.'
That was not directed at Selimia. It was directed at himself.
Clay also didn't know what would become of Selimia after she accepted that thing. It could be that a foolish act would bring about an even more unbearable hardship.
Even though he thought there was nothing to fear since he had already died once, Clay let out a self-deprecating laugh at the fact that he was worried things would get twisted.
'Still...'
Clay's thought was that if it was a being with its own will, it wouldn't be just a mere shell.
'Go for it, Selimia.'
Whether she could receive the reward for her own choice was now up to her.
Flinch.
Selimia, having gone right up to the figure, stopped in her tracks. The figure also stopped moving and was looking at Selimia.
For a moment, their standoff continued.
"Are you my soul?"
Even at Selimia's question, the figure said nothing.
"You probably think this body was made for you."
She bit her lip.
"But it's not."
On the contrary, Selimia said that the figure was for her.
"You will have to become my strength. To help His Majesty."
The moment she grabbed the figure's wrist,
Smiiirk.
The smiling figure and she were engulfed in light.