Lorraine's POV

I sat in the farthest corner of the hall, away from the noise, the laughter, the clang of cutlery and low hum of conversations. My world had narrowed to the quiet around me, a small bubble carved out of the chaos. I needed this stillness because inside me, there was only noise.

My empty sleeve brushed against the stone wall as I pulled my knees to my chest

The weight of what I'd lost was heavier than the missing limb itself. My arm was gone, but worse… so was she.

My wolf.

Since I woke up after losing my arm, since that moment, she hadn't really spoken to me. Not a whisper, not a growl, not even the soft thrum of presence I used to feel at the back of my mind.

I closed my eyes, trying to summon her. I didn't exactly know how but I still tried to reach out to her.

Hey? Are you there?

I whispered in my mind. Please. I need you.

Nothing.

I pushed harder, drawing on every scrap of will I had left. I'm not giving up on you, not after everything. Please answer me. Tell me you're still there.

Still nothing.

I clenched my jaw until it ached, nails digging into my thigh. I lost my arm, but I didn't lose you too. You can't abandon me now. Not after I am finally starting to prove that I am worthy of you.

Silence.

I kept trying. Again. And again. My breathing grew ragged, sweat dampening my skin even though the hall was cool. Each unanswered call cut deeper, each failed attempt dragging me further into despair.

Maybe she had gone into dormancy again. Maybe she was angry. Maybe I had failed her in a way I couldn't understand.

My chest burned, my throat tightened. A single thought kept circling in my head like a vulture, What if she is really gone and I'm alone again?

And then....

"Pathetic."

The word snapped through my mind like a whip, so sudden I jolted, my heart hammering. My eyes flew open.

It was her, my wolf

But before I could say anything more, a voice came from outside my mind.

"Are you okay?"

I flinched, my head snapping to the side. Astrid Voss was standing a few feet away, studying me with her usual unreadable expression.

I swallowed hard, pulling my composure back together in an instant. "I'm fine," I lied, my voice steady even though my pulse was still erratic.

Astrid leaned her back against the wall beside me, releasing a long, tired sigh. For a moment, she didn't speak, and I almost thought she would leave me to my silence. But then her voice came low, firm, and laced with inevitability.

"They've probably not told you yet, but you're going to the academy."

I blinked at her. "What?"

"You're going in as our double agent," she continued, in a matter of fact tone. "You'll be feeding us key information that could tip the balance in the coming battle."

I stared at her, stunned. "The Queen mentioned something like that…. but why are you saying it like it's already decided?"

"Because it is," Astrid said flatly. "You'll be leaving for the academy. And Kieran, he insisted on going with you. For protection."

What?!

I was on my feet before I could stop myself. My voice shook, not with weakness but with fury. "Does my opinion not even matter in things that concern me?"

Astrid's cool gaze flicked up to me, unruffled by my outburst. "For what it's worth," she said, "I don't support you going to the academy either."

That made me pause. I frowned, thrown off balance. "Why? Since when do you care? You've never really cared about me, especially not when it comes to sacrifices for the greater good."

Astrid huffed, crossing her arms. "It's not about caring, Lorraine. It's because I don't think you're ready. You're weak. Still very weak and vulnerable."

Her words hit like stones hurled at a wound that was already bleeding.

"When was the last time you heard your wolf's voice?" she asked, her tone sharp, cutting straight through me.

I froze. The truth burned on my tongue, but I couldn't force it out. My hesitation was all the answer she needed.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" she pressed. Her eyes narrowed. "Either your wolf has gone into dormancy again… or she's pissed with you. Either way, you're in no state to be anyone's double agent."

I clenched my fists, my whole body trembling. Shame warred with fury, and beneath it all, fear coiled like a living thing.

Astrid's voice softened, but only slightly. "You have to figure out how to start working together with your wolf again. Because until you do, you'll stay in this slump. And if you walk into that academy like this…" Her gaze swept over me with brutal finality. "….you won't walk out alive."

Her words lingered in the air long after she finished speaking, heavy and suffocating.

I wanted to scream at her, to deny it, to claw my way out of the truth she had just thrown at me. But deep inside, I knew she was right.

My wolf's single word echoed again in my mind, cruel and sharp. Pathetic.

I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing myself to stand tall despite the cracks inside me. I refused to let Astrid, or anyone, see how much that word had broken me.

But when she finally walked away, leaving me in the quiet corner again, I sank back down against the wall, pressing my palm over the empty sleeve where my arm should have been.

And I whispered not to mybwolf, but to myself.

"I'm not pathetic. I can't be."

Even if no one believed it, not even my wolf, I needed to.

Kieran's POV

I paced the length of my chamber, each step echoing against the stone floor like a sentence being passed. I was restless, I told myself to move, to fight, to do something, anything other than stand idle in this suffocating silence.

But what could I possibly say to her?

How was I supposed to look Lorraine in the eye and tell her that once again, decisions were being made about her life without her voice being heard? That even after surviving the brutal cost of losing an arm, they dared to demand more of her? How do you tell someone who has already been sacrificed a hundred times over that the world wanted another pound of flesh?

The thought made my stomach twist. My chest felt like it was caving in under the weight of it all. I raked a hand through my hair and muttered, "Damn it."

A sharp knock sounded at the door. Before I could answer, the hinges creaked, and my mother stepped inside.

"Mother," I breathed, the tension in my shoulders easing for the briefest moment.

She regarded me quietly, as she closed the door behind her. Her presence always carried a gravity that filled the room, but tonight it felt heavier, laced with something sharp.

"I was half happy with you," she said as she moved to sit on the edge of my bed, "and half disappointed in you during that meeting."

Her words struck with the precision of a dagger. I frowned, my pacing halting as I turned to her. "Why?"

She folded her hands neatly in her lap, eyes fixed on me like she was seeing through my skin. "Happy because you refused to let Lorraine go into that wretched academy alone. You decided to follow her, to protect her. That was the right choice." She exhaled, and then her tone hardened. "But I am disappointed, deeply disappointed, that you allowed her to be sent there at all."

I blinked at her, confused

"You…. you were the one who brought it up, Mother. You insisted she should go, and everyone agreed with you. I never agreed. I never would have agreed."

Her lips curved into a grim smile, but there was no humor in it. She nodded once. "Exactly. You didn't agree. Why not, Kieran?"

I swallowed, searching for the words clawing at my throat. "Because… it's too risky. She's already suffered enough. I don't want her put through another trauma. Not again."

She shook her head slowly, disappointment flickering in her eyes like storm clouds. "So that's all it takes for you to give up on protecting your mate? One vote against you, and you fall silent? What kind of mate does that make you, Kieran? Because if that is truly who you are, then Lorraine is better off without you than with you."

The words cut deep, sharper than any blade. I stared at her, bewildered. "I don't understand. You were the one pressing for her to go, yet now you stand here condemning me for allowing it?"

The Queen rose to her feet, her gaze fierce and unyielding. "And so? Don't you see? When it comes to protecting your mate, no one's opinion matters, Kieran. Not mine. Not the council's. Not even the goddess'. You are acting Alpha King in your father's absence, and that means every decision lies with you. You had the power to override that council without hesitation. But you didn't. You chose silence."

Her voice softened, though the edge remained. "That silence is your failure."

I clenched my fists until my knuckles cracked. "Then what do you suggest? That I override it now?"

She shook her head, her tone final. "No. A king who goes back on his word loses respect in the eyes of his people. Once spoken, a decree cannot be undone. A true king does not falter or sway with the wind. You made your mistake, Kieran. And now you must carry the burden of it."

With that, she turned and swept out of the room, the echo of her footsteps lingering like a judgment long after she had gone.

I stood there, motionless, her words reverberating through me. She was right. I could have stopped it. But I hadn't. And now Lorraine bore the consequences of my hesitation.

My jaw tightened. No. I wouldn't let her carry this weight. Not again.

If they wanted Lorraine at the academy, they would have to go through me first.

I would go alone.

I would sneak into the academy under the cover of night, study their defenses, measure their strengths, and expose their weaknesses. I would gather every detail, every vulnerability, and then return before anyone noticed I was gone. Lorraine didn't need to risk her life, not for them, not for me, not for anyone.

Decision made, I moved quickly. I stripped out of my tunic, replaced it with dark leathers that would let me blend into the shadows. I strapped my dagger to my thigh, slid a blade into my boot, and fastened the heavier sword across my back. Every movement was deliberate, practiced.

When the hideout finally fell into silence, I slipped from my chamber. The halls were still, the air cool, the only sound the whisper of my footsteps. The guards patrolled lazily, unsuspecting, and I moved past them with ease, keeping to the shadows until I reached the outer passage.

The night air hit me like a welcome cloak as I stepped beyond the hideout. For a brief moment, I tilted my head back, drawing in the cool scent of pine and earth, steadying my resolve.

Then a voice cut through the darkness.

"Where do you think you are going alone?"

My heart lurched.

I spun on my heel, my hand instinctively brushing the hilt of my sword. But it wasn't an enemy.

It was her.

Lorraine stood there, the moonlight painting her face in silver, her one arm folded against her body, her eyes sharp and unyielding as they locked with mine.