CHAPTER 598: THE EMPIRE THAT CLICKED

And it sure was a perfect day to ask, had it not been for the flurry that had wrapped around the empire. All of a sudden, the Empress and the Emperor were faced with the need to comfort their people for something even they couldn’t explain!

How were they supposed to comfort them for their hand speeds? Or were they supposed to declare a day of mourning for those who failed to make the cut?

But first, they might actually need to understand the true lay of the land. Because while they had been busy with policy changes, deals for resources for the Empire, and mediating between nobles who thought they could rule better, not to mention the worsening outlook on the frontlines, it seems like they had missed out on something this big.

Something big enough that it could manage to cover up the news about the spread of corruption!

But how?

How could they have been kept at arm’s length from news this groundbreaking, which was now causing a commotion in several meeting rooms?

While they of course knew about the existence of a popular vendor and even that day care run by an academy guild, they expected to hear the news from their child, who seemed directly part of it!

But now that it had exploded like this, it seemed like they were the last to know about the particulars?!

Even their young daughter seemed to have more knowledge about it?! How truly puzzling!

Although if someone kept track, they probably would’ve seen something even more puzzling, like, say, a crime-free hour, one where everyone was so preoccupied with their personal karma that they did not want to risk their chances of being lucky.

Before the clock struck 7:00, everywhere, people were trying to speak of good things, wishing everyone well, and refraining from anything remotely unlucky. And the forums were filled with exactly that.

[Wow! It hasn’t even been how many months, and our favorite vendor is now this popular! Thankfully, I trusted the vendor from the first sale and had been lucky enough to get an apple! Since then, my fortune in life has turned around!]

[Brother in front! While I sincerely (cough, cough) congratulate you for your unprecedented success, if you are here, maybe it is best to bless all of us instead with the grace of a chance to have the same fortune.]

[Ah, now, now brother! I, of course, wish you luck, but it would only work if you had worked and prepared all this time! Like me, I have...]

[Of course, of course! These past months have not been wasted, and I have since then been carefully improving my hand speed. The accidental blink that delayed me by 0.08 seconds would not happen again!]

[+1 to the brother above. My cat, who also stands to benefit if I succeed today, was also momentarily placed in the carrier for this very hour! Third time will definitely be the charm!]

[Ha! You all laugh now, but I have trained by practicing on virtual lottery wheels. I can now click 1,200 times in a minute! Even my wrist guard has leveled up!]

[Brother above, please, you are bragging nonsense. Everyone knows it is not just the hand speed but the sacred timing of fate. Did you bow thrice to the vending icon? No? Then you have already lost.]

[Who cares about bowing! My grandmother is chanting blessings over my shoulder as we speak. If I fail, I bring shame to eight generations.]

[Friends, comrades! If we perish today, then let us perish with honor. But if we succeed, I will donate one entire slice of kale chip to the community!]

"..."

"..."

"...What is wrong with these people?" someone in the Imperial meeting room whispered.

The Emperor rubbed his forehead, staring at the glowing screens of reports with disbelief. "Apparently, an entire empire is currently measuring the worth of their lives by how fast they can click for food."

The Empress’ lips twitched as she thought to herself, And yet, apparently, our daughter has already acquired the highest relic of them all.

What in Solaris was happening?!

Meanwhile, outside of the troubled halls of the Imperial Palace, it was obvious that the people were excited because the number of things to buy had more than tripled.

However, how could the Star Mall employees not feel their hearts ache for everyone after tasting some of the goods themselves while also knowing that instead of just a good portion of the population tuning in, it was as if the entire Empire’s terminals were waiting at the same vendor’s online shop?

Who would have the heart to inform anyone that being able to buy anything was akin to the probability of suddenly receiving noble status?

Maybe even harder, because at least there was a clear path toward nobility!

But how could the path be clear when those same pretentious people who were posting kind words on forums now likely looked murderous as they clicked with the intensity of gamblers throwing dice for their lives?

Sure enough, when the time for reckoning came and utter silence descended over the Empire, it did not even take a minute before cries of anguish and bursts of explosive joy shook the land.

Like the lottery of all lotteries, nearly everyone who had access to a terminal participated, including the Elders who insisted on trying it for themselves.

"H-how is that possible?! I didn’t even get anything?!" Elder Feng shouted, looking like he had just lost a war.

"I reached the selection, but by the time I hovered over the next item, the quantity had already dropped to zero!"

"How could that be?!" Elder Wei barked, veins bulging as he swore he had even enhanced his senses for this exact moment.

Meanwhile, Luca scratched his head apologetically. He had never actually witnessed what happened during the first few seconds of a restock until now. He truly had no idea it would be this chaotic.

D-29, of course, chose that moment to send an innocent prompt.

"Host, it seems the traffic to the shop was really a lot this time. If this continues, wouldn’t this be truly a profitable business?"

Luca paled. If even the Elders could not secure a product, then what about the common people?

Well, the answer depended on who you asked.

[HAHAHAHAHAHA! Twenty years of gaming, suffering scoldings for my "useless habits," and today I have risen from the ashes with glory! Behold! I secured fries for my family! My ancestors cheer from heaven!]

[No! No! How could this be! I cannot even blame lag because I bought a new system just for this! My hand is the problem?! My hand betrayed me?!]

[Damn it all! We already calculated the distribution of each fry to the decimal point, and now this! How do I face my ancestors when I return empty-handed?!]

[Wuwuwuwu! I never thought all the bad luck in my life was building up for this one good moment! I got a limited-edition grilled tomato sandwich! My suffering was worth it!]

[WAAAAH! Why do you get sandwiches while I got... nothing! Nothing but despair!]

[+1]

[+1]

[+1]

That day, Star Net was littered with the shed and unshed tears of the disappointed, while the successful few were hailed as family saviors. Some were already kneeling before their holoscreens, thanking fate for the miracle of snacks.

And for a brief, surreal moment before deliveries even began, the Empire seemed to pause. Families celebrated like it was the birth of a child, while others banded together to mourn what they called the "Day of Empty Carts."

Then came the announcement of all announcements:

"Greetings, everyone. Thank you for your patronage. In the meantime, the shop will be restocked every week. For the sake of fairness, each person’s ID may only purchase once a month for the time being."

"!!!"

"!!!"

The Empire, which had just started to recover, was immediately roused into a new frenzy of determination. From Star Net forums to Imperial Palace meeting halls, the talk of the town was no longer war or politics. It was a single online shop.

And meanwhile...

Inside the palace, one little princess was near tears.

Huddled inside the bathroom with a backpack that looked ready to burst, Princess Nina crouched on the floor with her two beloved pets, Mr. Quackers and Snowy.

The three of them formed a desperate council. Mr. Quackers waddled on her lap, Snowy twitched his nose, and Nina sniffled pitifully as she whispered, "What to do! What to do?! I should really run away!"

"Shhh!" Nina hissed dramatically. "They will hear us plotting!"

Mr. Quackers responded with a loud quack.

"No! Please don’t give us away!" Nina whispered back, scandalized. "We are fugitives now! Fugitives!"

Snowy gave her a long, judgmental stare and sneezed.

"Exactly, Snowy! I also think Mother will never forgive me if she finds out I ate it all alone. Which is why... we must call for backup!"

And how pitiful she truly was, a little princess hiding in the bathroom with contraband snacks, an overstuffed bag for the principle of it, and two furry accomplices, all of them looking like they were planning a grand escape into the night.

The only thing missing? Her big brother’s response!