CHAPTER 44: CHAPTER FORTY FOUR

Chapter Forty-Four

Malachi’s POV

Maurice drove in silence. He knew better than to speak when I looked like this.

Dante and Rose followed in the car behind us. Mavis and Violet stayed back to manage the Dark City headquarters. Everything moving according to plan.

Except the most important part.

I’d lost her.

The thought repeated in my head like a death sentence. Over and over until it was the only thing I could hear.

I’d lost Alicia. Lost her trust. Lost her before I’d ever really had her.

My heart hammered against my ribs. Not from fear. From something worse. From the realization that the one thing I wanted most in this world had slipped through my fingers.

And it was my own fault.

I stared out the window, watching the landscape blur past. My reflection stared back. Cold. Empty. Exactly what I deserved.

She’d trusted me. Finally. After weeks of walls and defenses and careful distance, she’d let me in. Had given herself to me completely.

And I’d broken that trust by keeping secrets. By manipulating her life. By thinking I knew better than she did what she needed.

Control. That’s what she’d called it. And she was right.

I’d controlled everything. Travis’s condition. The timeline. The circumstances. All to create the perfect scenario where she could be mine.

But you can’t force someone to love you. Can’t manipulate them into trust.

I’d learned that lesson too late.

My mind raced through possibilities. What would she do next? File for divorce immediately? Pack her things and disappear with Sophie? Run somewhere I’d never find her?

No. I’d find her. Even if she went to the ends of the earth, I’d track her down. Not to force her back. Just to make sure she was safe. To watch from the shadows and ensure no one ever hurt her again.

Pathetic. I was pathetic.

But I couldn’t help it. Couldn’t turn off this need to protect her. To possess her. To keep her close even if she hated me for it.

The mansion came into view as dawn fully broke. Home. Except it had never felt less like home than it did now.

My chest tightened as we pulled through the gates. She was in there. Probably sleeping. Probably dreaming about ways to escape this family forever.

Escape me.

I climbed out of the car before Maurice fully stopped. Needed to move. Needed to see her. Even if she wouldn’t look at me.

The front door opened. I stepped inside.

Everything seemed normal. Servants moving about their morning routines. The smell of breakfast drifting from the kitchen. Sunlight streaming through windows.

Then I saw her.

Alicia.

She sat in the morning room with Sophie, pouring tea with steady hands. Her hair was pulled back. Her face composed. Beautiful in a way that made my chest ache.

Sophie still looked scared. Fragile. Like a deer ready to bolt at any sudden movement.

But Alicia. Alicia looked tired. Broken. Like she’d cried all night and was now running on nothing but determination.

I’d done that to her. Put those shadows under her eyes. Put that exhaustion in her shoulders.

I took a step toward them. Needed to be closer. Needed to apologize. Needed something.

Then I heard footsteps on the stairs.

Travis.

My brother descended with that familiar arrogance. That smile I’d grown to hate over the years. He looked the same. Acted the same. Like he hadn’t spent weeks in a medically induced coma.

When his eyes landed on me, the smile widened.

"Brother. You’re back." His tone was pleasant. Too pleasant. "How was Dark City?"

My jaw clenched. Every instinct screamed to cross the room and put him back to sleep. Permanently this time.

"None of your business."

He laughed. Actually laughed like I’d told a joke. "Still so serious, Malachi. You should relax more. Enjoy life."

He moved toward Alicia and Sophie. I watched his every step. Ready to intercept if he got too close.

"And you must be Sophie." Travis extended his hand to the girl. "Welcome to the family. Any sister of my beautiful wife is welcome here."

My beautiful wife.

The words made me want to break something. Preferably his face.

He got to call her that. Got to claim her publicly while I had to stand here and pretend she meant nothing to me.

While she probably hated me.

Alicia stood. "I need to get something from the kitchen. Excuse me."

She walked past me. Right past me. Close enough that I could smell her perfume. Close enough to touch.

But she didn’t look at me. Didn’t acknowledge my existence.

Like I was a ghost. A stranger. Nothing.

I hated it. Hated this version of reality where she moved through the world and I wasn’t part of it.

Every fiber of my being screamed to grab her. To pull her close and kiss her in front of Travis and everyone else. To remind her who she’d given herself to. Who she belonged to.

Mine. She was mine. Not his. Never his.

But I couldn’t. Because forcing her would only prove everything she’d accused me of.

So I stood there. Frozen. Useless.

Travis noticed. Of course he did. He always noticed when something bothered me.

He coughed. Drew my attention back to him. Smiled that knowing smile.

"She’s lovely, isn’t she?" He spoke casually. Conversationally. "My wife. I’m very lucky."

My hands curled into fists. "Touch her and I’ll kill you."

The words came out quiet. Deadly.

Travis’s smile didn’t waver. "Touch my own wife? Brother, you wound me. Why wouldn’t I touch what belongs to me?"

"She doesn’t belong to you."

"The marriage certificate says otherwise." He tilted his head. "But that’s not why you’re really angry, is it? You thought you’d take the company from me while I was gone. Thought you’d step into my shoes and everyone would forget I existed."

I laughed. Cold and bitter. "You think I want your company? That pathetic toy?"

"Then what do you want?"

Everything. I wanted everything he had and didn’t deserve. I wanted Alicia freed from him. I wanted to erase every moment of pain he’d caused her. I wanted to rewrite history so she’d never met him in the first place.

But I said none of that. "You’re not worth my time, Travis."

I turned and walked away. Up the stairs. Down the hallway to my room.

Once inside, I pulled out my laptop. The security feeds loaded automatically.

I found her quickly. Guest room. She sat on the bed with Sophie, holding the girl while singing softly. Some lullaby I didn’t recognize.

Sophie’s eyes were closed. Peaceful. Safe in her sister’s arms.

And Alicia. Alicia looked so gentle. So tender. Everything good in this world concentrated in one person.

I wanted that. Wanted to be Sophie in that moment. Wanted to lay in Alicia’s arms while she sang to me. Wanted her fingers running through my hair. Wanted her scent surrounding me. Wanted her voice the last thing I heard before sleep.

Wanted her to look at me with something other than hatred.

But she wouldn’t talk to me now. Probably wouldn’t even acknowledge me if we were alone in a room.

At least she hadn’t mentioned divorce yet. That was something. A small, pathetic something.

Because if she filed those papers right now, she’d disappear. Take Sophie and vanish into some new life where I didn’t exist.

Not that I wouldn’t find her. I’d search every corner of the earth if necessary. Track her down no matter where she ran.

But her leaving would mean her mind was made up. That she’d chosen a life without me in it.

I couldn’t let that happen.

Which meant I needed to keep her here. Keep her and Travis married just a little longer. Give myself time to fix this. To prove I was different. To make her see that everything I’d done came from love, not control.

Ironic. Weeks ago, all I’d wanted was for them to divorce. Had done everything possible to create distance between them. To give her space to leave him.

Now I was the one who needed them to stay married. Just a little longer.

Just until I could win her back.

The thought made me sick. Made me hate myself even more than I already did.

I’d manipulated her. Controlled her. Done exactly what every other Blackwood had done. Exactly what Travis had done.

No wonder she looked at me with such disgust.

I watched her on the screen. She finished the lullaby. Carefully extracted herself from Sophie’s sleeping form. Covered the girl with a blanket.

Then she sat there. Just sat. Staring at nothing.

I knew that look. Had seen it on her face before. She was thinking. Processing. Probably planning her escape.

Probably hating me.

The thought carved through my chest like a blade.

I shut the laptop. Couldn’t watch anymore. Couldn’t see her pain and know I’d caused it.

I lay back on my bed. Stared at the ceiling. The same ceiling I’d stared at countless times over the years.

Just weeks ago, she’d been here. In this room. Crying on my bed.

Now she wouldn’t even look at me.

I pulled out my phone. Stared at her contact. My thumb hovered over her name.

Should I text her? Apologize? Beg her to talk to me?

She probably wouldn’t respond. Might even block my number. Remove me completely from her life.

I dropped the phone. Pressed my palms against my eyes.

This was torture. Knowing she was so close but completely unreachable. Knowing I’d had her and lost her through my own stupidity.

Dinner would be soon. I couldn’t face it. Couldn’t sit at that table and watch her avoid my gaze. Couldn’t hear Travis call her his wife. Couldn’t pretend everything was normal when my world was falling apart.

More than that, I couldn’t risk seeing her look at me with those cold, empty eyes. Couldn’t bear hearing her call me brother-in-law in that distant, formal tone.

That title. I hated it. Hated everything it represented. Hated the distance it created between us.

I wasn’t her brother-in-law. I was the man who’d held her while she cried. Who’d kissed her until she forgot her own name. Who’d made her mine in every way that mattered.

But none of that meant anything now.

I stared at the ceiling. Started whispering her name like a prayer. Like if I said it enough times, she’d somehow hear me. Somehow forgive me. Somehow come find me.

"Alicia."

The word felt sacred on my lips. Heavy with meaning. With longing.

"Alicia."

Again. And again. And again.

Until it was the only word I knew. The only thing that mattered.

But she didn’t come. Didn’t hear me. Didn’t care.

And I was left alone with nothing but her name and the crushing weight of what I’d lost.

I’d broken the only good thing in my life. The only person who’d ever made me want to be better. Who’d made me feel something other than rage and emptiness.

And now she was gone. Still in the same house. Still breathing the same air.

But gone in every way that mattered.

I closed my eyes. Tried to sleep. Failed.

Because every time I closed them, I saw her face. Saw the betrayal. The pain. The moment she realized what I’d done.

The moment I lost her.

I’d do anything to take it back. To rewind time. To make different choices.

But I couldn’t. Could only lie here and accept that I’d destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me.

All because I thought I knew better. Thought I could control everything. Thought love meant protecting her from every pain.

Even when that protection became its own kind of prison.

Alicia had been right. What I’d given her wasn’t love. It was possession. Control disguised as care.

And now I was paying the price.

Alone. Empty. Haunted by the ghost of what we could have been.

My phone buzzed. I grabbed it desperately. Hoping. Praying.

But it was just Maurice. Asking if I’d be attending dinner.

I typed back: No.

Then I turned off my phone. Threw it across the room.

And lay there in the darkness. Whispering her name like it could bring her back.

"Alicia. Alicia. Alicia."

But she was gone.

And I had no one to blame but myself.