CHAPTER 189: SHADOWS BENEATH MY SKIN

Kiel

I couldn’t breathe. Not with the way Thorne’s shallow gasps echoed in my head like a death rattle I couldn’t silence. His blood still clung to my hands — warm, sticky, and far too much like guilt. When my brother looked at me, there was something in his eyes I couldn’t unsee — a mix of pain, betrayal, and silent pleading that twisted like a knife in my gut.

The elders circled us, murmuring prayers and warnings I barely heard. One of them, the oldest among them, spoke sharply. "You’ve brought darkness into the pack, Kiel. You should not have done what you did."

My jaw locked, and for a second, I thought I’d explode. "What I did was end a threat. Michelle would’ve destroyed us all if I hadn’t stopped her!" My voice came out raw, a snarl at the edge of breaking.

The elder’s cloudy eyes met mine. "And yet the blood of it clings to you. You’ll have to be cleansed before that darkness festers deeper."

I didn’t argue. Not because I agreed — but because I couldn’t stand another word. "Fine," I muttered, my voice tight. "But not before I find Josie."

The second her name left my lips, panic clawed at me. I spun and stormed out before anyone could stop me. The evening air slapped me in the face, cool and biting, but it didn’t clear my mind. I needed to see her. I needed to make sure she was safe.

I ran to the pack house, every step loud against the cobblestone path. The maids froze when they saw me — wide-eyed, whispering. My scent was thick with blood and smoke.

"Where’s Josie?" I barked, grabbing the nearest one by the wrist.

"L-Luna left, Alpha Kiel," the young girl stammered, trembling under my grip. "She took a bag. Said she needed air. We thought—"

"You thought?" My voice cracked, the sound sharp enough to make her flinch. "You saw her walk out and said nothing?"

"We didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to!" another maid blurted. "She looked... upset. We thought maybe—"

"Enough!" I snapped and pushed away from them. My wolf howled in my head, frantic, clawing against my skin. Find her. Now.

I ran — to the garden, the stables, the borders. Every scent I caught vanished too quickly, swallowed by wind and fear. I stopped villagers, guards, anyone I crossed.

"Did you see her?" I demanded over and over. "Josie. My Luna — did you see her?"

They shook their heads, murmuring apologies I couldn’t bear to hear. The more I asked, the colder my chest became. My wolf snarled, sensing danger, but I couldn’t think straight. Every minute that passed without finding her felt like the world closing in.

By the time I stumbled back to the cottage, the sun had long dipped below the horizon. Thorne was still on the bed, pale as ash. His chest rose weakly, every breath a battle.

"Stop the bleeding!" I shouted at the healers crowding around him. "Do something! You’re healers, aren’t you?"

One of them flinched. "Alpha Kiel, the wound refuses to close. The witch’s curse—"

"Then break it!"

Hands caught my arm, dragging me backward. "Enough!" Varen’s voice cut through the haze. His grip was strong, grounding me. He shoved me out into the hallway. "You’re not helping anyone like this."

I glared at him, breath heaving. "You think I don’t know that? He’s my brother! And now Josie’s gone—"

Varen froze. "Gone?"

My voice cracked. "I can’t find her. No one’s seen her. She left the pack house hours ago."

Varen cursed under his breath, running a hand through his hair. "I can’t feel her bond anymore," he muttered, voice heavy with dread.

That broke something inside me. "You can’t what?" I grabbed his collar, slamming him against the wall. "You were supposed to protect her, Varen! You—"

He shoved me back, fury sparking in his eyes. "Don’t you dare put this on me! You think I haven’t been trying? I’m tired, Kiel! Tired of being blamed for everyone’s damn mistakes!"

His words hit like thunder, but I couldn’t let go of my anger. "Then maybe you should’ve stopped us from fighting all these damn battles alone! You think this curse started today? You think Josie ran because of me?"

He shot back, "Maybe she ran because all of you keep treating her like a weapon instead of a person!"

The silence that followed burned. For once, I had no words. He wasn’t wrong — and that terrified me more than anything.

An elder appeared at the door then, breaking the tension. "Alpha Kiel," he said quietly, eyes lingering on the blood stains that refused to dry on my skin. "You must come. The cleansing cannot wait any longer."

"Later," I growled. "We need a search team. Josie’s out there—"

Varen cut in, shaking his head. "No. You’re not going anywhere until it’s done. If you fall, the entire pack crumbles. I won’t lose another brother tonight."

My throat burned. "It’s my life, Varen. I’ll do whatever the hell I want with it."

The elder stepped closer, his voice calm but firm. "This isn’t just your life, boy. The darkness in your blood spreads — not only through you, but through the bond that ties this pack. If you care for them, if you care for her... you will cleanse yourself."

The room tilted around me, spinning between rage and despair. I dragged in a breath, bitter and sharp. "Fine," I muttered. "Let’s get this over with. How long will it take?"

The elder’s eyes softened. "Until the blood stops whispering."

He led me to the cleansing chamber — an old stone room beneath the pack house, lit only by flickering candles and the smell of damp earth. A bowl of stale water sat in the center, dark and cold. I stripped off my shirt, watching crimson stains shimmer under the candlelight.

When my hands touched the water, it hissed — smoke curling up like spirits released from hell. The elder began chanting, low and rhythmic, each word a weight that pressed down on my chest.

The water turned red. I watched my reflection distort as the blood seeped from my skin, winding away in tendrils like dying shadows. It hurt — not physically, but in the way it scraped my soul clean, leaving it raw.

I clenched my fists. "It’s not enough," I whispered. "She’s still out there. I can feel it."

Varen’s voice came from behind me, quiet but firm. "Then we’ll find her. But you need to live first, Kiel."

I turned to face him. His expression was a storm — anger, guilt, fear — all tangled together. I could barely stand, my body shaking from exhaustion. But the moment the elder ended the ritual, I was already reaching for my clothes.

"Come with me," I said, voice hoarse. "Tonight. We search for her."

Varen sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "You never listen."

I managed a weak grin. "And you never stop me."

By midnight, the woods were alive with movement. I led a team of our strongest warriors — men who would follow me into hell if I asked. We spread out under the moonlight, the scent of pine and blood thick in the air.

"Anything?" I called out as we reached the border.

One of the warriors pointed toward a clearing. "There’s something here, Alpha."

I moved closer, my heart hammering in my throat. A rope lay half-buried in the dirt — torn, stained with blood that hadn’t yet dried. My hands trembled as I picked it up.

The moment my fingers brushed the rough fibers, the world tilted.

Images slammed into me — Josie’s terrified face, the sharp sting of betrayal, the flash of a blade. Her voice echoed in my head, distant and broken.

Kiel... help me.

The vision faded as quickly as it came, leaving me gasping, the rope slipping from my hand.

And as the moonlight bled through the trees, I made a silent vow — I wasn’t going to lose her. Not Josie. Not again.