CHAPTER 175: CHAPTER 175 - WHAT AM I FEELING?

The cliff of the gorge lay still, unnervingly so. The world seemed muted—no wind, no rustling of leaves, only the faint echo of rushing water far below. The serenity of the place felt fractured, replaced by a suffocating tension that clung to the air like a storm waiting to break.

Luca was seated at the edge, his gaze fixed downward into the abyss. The shadows swallowed his expression, but his clenched fists trembled faintly at his sides.

What am I feeling? His thoughts churned, restless, directionless. Am I angry? I don’t know. Am I supposed to be angry? I don’t know. His chest rose and fell heavily, as though breathing itself demanded effort. If I don’t feel angry right now, does that mean I’ve lost all self-respect? That my pride is too fragile?

He bit the inside of his cheek, the copper tang of blood sharp on his tongue. I... I don’t know. Maybe others would think I’m pathetic, a crybaby, or worse—someone making a melodrama out of nothing. But I truly don’t know what to feel. I’m hurt—yes, I know that much. But why?

His brows furrowed, his head lowering further. Because she thought of using me? Because she disregarded who I am? His jaw tightened. But then... am I any different? Just a few days ago, didn’t I treat her the same? Didn’t I think of her as nothing more than a character in a story—someone disposable, replaceable? Didn’t I strip her of her humanity in my mind, the very same way she did to me?

The spiral of his thoughts dug deeper, pressing down on him like invisible chains, until—

Warmth.

It bloomed against his chest and shoulders, startling him. Something soft, trembling, wrapped around his upper body. Luca stiffened, flinching at the sudden contact. His breath caught.

Aurelia’s arms.

Her grip was tight, almost desperate, her forehead pressed faintly against his chest. Her voice came muffled at first, low and fragile, but as it reached his ears it carried the unmistakable quiver of unshed tears.

"I know it was wrong for me to do that..." Her words broke the silence like fragile glass. "...but now, right at this moment, I don’t have those thoughts anymore."

Her hold on him tightened. He could feel her trembling against him, every shiver echoing in his own chest.

"I don’t know when it changed," she whispered, her tone thick with raw honesty. "Maybe it was today... when you chose my forgiveness over your own life. Or maybe when you came on this mission in Kyle’s place, without hesitation." Her voice faltered, and she swallowed hard before continuing. "Or maybe it was when you vanished from the academy, and I found myself leaving everything behind to go look for you."

The memories flickered in her words like sparks—each moment striking with quiet force.

"Maybe it was that night of the ball," Aurelia’s voice trembled, "when you stood up against my family for me, when we danced despite the whole world watching, when we kissed on that balcony..." Her breath hitched as tears finally slipped free. "Or maybe... maybe it was on the mountain, when you came back for me and shouted at the monster, Don’t touch my fiancée."

Her tone cracked, her grip faltering before clutching him tighter still, as if afraid he might slip away.

"Or... maybe it was on that silly double date," she whispered, her words rushing now, frantic, as though confessing to keep herself from breaking. "When you tried things you don’t even like, just for me. When you stole my first kiss..." She hesitated, her tears soaking faintly through his shirt. "...Or maybe it was when I asked you to marry me."

Her voice shook violently now, as though torn open. "I don’t know when it happened. I don’t know how. But the thought of using you disappeared... and in every one of those moments... I kept falling for you. More and more, without even realizing it."

Her arms trembled, tightening one last time as her voice cracked into a near whisper.

"That’s why, when you kept something so important from me, I felt angry. I felt betrayed. Because... because it mattered. Because you matter."

Silence stretched, broken only by the sound of her ragged breaths against his back, and the faint rush of the gorge below.

"...But it’s true." Her voice was small, fragile, yet filled with unshakable truth. "I have fallen for you, Luca."

The gorge was still. The night wind had died down, leaving only the faint rustle of leaves clinging to the cliffside. Luca sat unmoving, Aurelia’s warmth still wrapped around him, her trembling frame pressed tight against his chest. His eyes, wide and unblinking, stared at the dark abyss below. His thoughts wavered like ripples across water.

So... is that it?

His chest tightened, not with pain, but something unfamiliar—something deeper, softer. What am I feeling right now... is it love?

His brows knit faintly as the questions circled in his mind. Is that why I couldn’t feel angry at her? Even though I was hurt, even though my pride screamed for me to be, I just... couldn’t. All those moments she spoke of—the ball, the kiss under the balcony, saving her on the mountain—they weren’t just her memories. They were mine too. They were... the best moments of both of my lives. Restless when she’s angry, caring about her more than my own life, desperate to protect her at any cost... is this what it means to love someone? Have I truly fallen for her?

His lips curved, slowly, almost disbelievingly, into a smile. Without hesitation this time, his arms rose and wrapped around Aurelia, pulling her against him with a firmness that spoke more than words—an embrace that said I won’t let you go. She flinched at first, startled by the sudden strength, but the next moment her body softened, yielding, nestling closer into the heat of his chest as if it was the only place she belonged.

Luca lowered his chin, his breath brushing against the crown of her hair. His voice, low and unshaken, came out softer than he ever thought he could sound.

"I have fallen for you as well, Aurelia."

She shivered against him, her whole body trembling as though those words had been the final crack in the dam holding back her heart. Her hands clutched at his shirt tightly, refusing to let go.

Luca gently pulled back, just enough to see her face. Her eyes darted away shyly, glistening under the pale moonlight, but he caught them, holding her gaze until she was forced to meet him. For a heartbeat, he simply looked at her, drinking in the warmth in her eyes, the faint flush across her cheeks. His chest surged with something he had no wish to contain anymore.

I’m really in love. And it feels... It feels incredible.

Without another thought, their lips met.

At first, it was tentative, almost fragile, but then the dam inside both of them broke. Aurelia clutched him tighter, her lips parting against his. Luca’s hand moved up to cradle the back of her head, guiding her closer as their kiss deepened into something fierce, desperate, undeniable. Their tongues tangled, clashing and swirling with a hunger that neither had realized they carried, a heat that burned hotter than the still night air. Saliva mingled, breath grew heavy, time itself seemed to vanish around them.

They did not know how long they kissed—seconds, minutes, an eternity. When at last they parted, their lips were flushed and swollen, breaths ragged, foreheads still pressed together as if afraid that any more distance would shatter the fragile miracle of the moment. A thin, glistening thread of saliva stretched between their mouths before breaking, leaving behind a lingering warmth that made Luca’s chest tighten.

*****

"Come to my office , student Luca!!" Seraphina’s voice sounded from the communication crystal.

Again!