This Human Immortal Is Too Serious
Chapter 76 - 75: So You’re Called a Candidate for Human Emperor
CHAPTER 76: CHAPTER 75: SO YOU’RE CALLED A CANDIDATE FOR HUMAN EMPEROR
Emperor Yan of Shennong made a passionate appearance, sharing drinks with the Immortals, which noticeably changed the atmosphere within the grand hall.
Wu Wang could feel the eagerness radiating from those around him; they seemed as if they couldn’t wait to sprout wings and fly to the frontier to battle fiercely in the endless dens of ferocious beasts. Take Brother Ji by his side, for example: his Dao heart quivered with excitement, his face flushed red, and he repeatedly clenched his little fists. Wu Wang genuinely feared the guy might turn around and punch him.
Why is everyone so worked up? Wu Wang was somewhat skeptical. It’s probably because I’m too familiar with old Senior Shennong. Seeing him act so dignified all of a sudden is a bit unsettling.
Upon reflection, if the Human Emperor set his mind on a northern expedition, would Heaven Palace simply sit and wait for annihilation? Although he hadn’t read much in his past life, he knew the stories of enduring hardships to seek revenge. If the old Senior truly intended to embark on a northern campaign, he would be quietly accumulating strength, looking for an opportunity to strike a heavy blow by exploiting a weakness. At this moment, Wu Wang felt there was a deliberate attempt to rally spirits.
Ah, Senior Shennong must be operating on a whole other level with this move. As a mere Young Master of the Northern Wilderness, my schemes and foresight can’t compare to the Human Emperor of the Human Domain, so there’s no need to overthink it.
After a while, Emperor Yan of Shennong slowly faded away into the clouds, leaving behind eight of his loyal ministers to continue sharing drinks with the Immortals.
The atmosphere inside the grand hall suddenly became more lively. Fairy Immortals performed dances, and Golden Armor Immortal Soldiers displayed sword skills, with one performance following another, each contributing to the revelry.
Wu Wang chatted with Ji Mo and Ling Xiaolan about the Women’s Country, discreetly passing messages to one another, being careful with their titles to avoid revealing Wu Wang’s identity.
Before Elder Miao realized, a group of male cultivators had subtly gathered around her. Most of them were pretending to just pass by, while a few seemed to know her and approached to say hello with restrained eagerness. Elder Miao poured her own drinks, paying no mind to the gathering crowd, as various treasures and gift boxes began to pile up beside her without her so much as glancing at them. This was far quicker at accumulating wealth than any scheming or swindling.
In the midst of their conversation, Wu Wang’s eyes lit up, and he said with a smile, "Elder Mao?"
The others followed his gaze. They immediately saw a figure in silvery-white armor with silver hair, indicating the Heavenly Immortal Realm. A jade tag hung at his waist, marked ’Pavilion Master of the Benevolent Emperor Pavilion, Great Wilderness Human Domain, Floating Jade City, Sanhua Lane Branch,’ which was particularly eye-catching.
"Sect Master!" Mao Aowu exclaimed excitedly.
Wu Wang, however, turned his head to look at the Grand Elder and said indifferently, "Grand Elder, what should be the punishment for betraying comrades for personal gain?"
The Grand Elder thought about it seriously for a moment and said, "Hang him up and give him a beating."
"Take him to the ship."
"Yes," the Grand Elder responded. He got up and walked over to Mao Aowu, who was still in shock. He slapped the back of Mao Aowu’s head, causing illusory little birds to circle above it. Then, with a faint smile, the Grand Elder nodded to the group of Immortal Soldiers looking his way. Dragging Mao Aowu by one foot, he headed towards the northern exit of the grand hall.
"Just a small interlude, a small interlude." Wu Wang beckoned the others to continue drinking, saying with a laugh, "A man cannot stand without credibility, and a sect cannot prosper without rules. It’s time we refined our sect’s disciplines."
Ji Mo gave a thumbs up, "Sect Master Wuwang, truly imposing."
"You flatter me, you flatter me."
The two clinked their cups, followed by light chuckling. Ling Xiaolan, beside them, looked disapproving, but when Wu Wang’s cup approached hers, she also gestured from afar, raising her glass to drink with them.
Ji Mo muttered, "Don’t let Fairy Ling drink too much. It wouldn’t be good if she suddenly achieved Enlightenment in such a setting."
CLANG!
An Immortal Sword unsheathed an inch. Ji Mo immediately ducked behind Wu Wang, and the three of them shared a moment of laughter and mischief.
Elder Miao occasionally glanced over, calm as she sipped her drink. The gifts beside her had piled up high, but she paid them no mind. The bustle belongs to them; I just find it a bit noisy.
「Three days and nights passed. The banquet wound down, and the effects of the wine gradually faded.」
The Pavilion Master of the Benevolent Emperor Pavilion announced the end of the Human Emperor’s banquet. The cultivators stood up to salute and withdrew in unison, each heading towards the nearest exit.
Wu Wang was mentally tallying his gains from this trip. Learning that Little Jingwei was safe and had used a spirit-nurturing method to reconstruct her immortal body eliminated any doubts in his mind.
He had presided over three trials, which left Wu Wang with some slight regret. When I gave Senior Shennong this advice, it was half to mock his outdated trial methods, knowing he was in a bit of a bind, and half... because I was reminiscing about the good times in my past life and wanted to take the opportunity to have some fun. Unfortunately, he never got the chance to participate; the old senior wouldn’t let him compete with others. Because of this, he always felt that the ’Artifact Spirit’ identity he concocted might gain him some benefits later on. This trip was worthwhile, all the same.
Stepping out of the grand hall, Ji Mo said, "I’ve already informed my family I’ll be absent and plan to stay at your Demonic Sect for a few days. What do you think?"
Wu Wang laughed, "Just bring your own bedding. We still have a spare hut or two."
"I will not go," Fairy Ling frowned slightly, still seemingly hesitant to speak. "Brother Wu Wang, your place in the Demonic Sect is not a long-term solution. You still need to protect yourself and maintain your integrity."
Wu Wang couldn’t help but transmit his voice and ask, "Fairy, do you perhaps have a grudge against the Demonic Sect?"
"Let’s talk about this matter when we have another opportunity. I need to return to my Sect now, but we can stay in touch using transmission Jade Talismans later."
Ling Xiaolan gave a slight nod, just about to bid farewell with a bow, when she heard Ji Mo suddenly inhale sharply beside her, uttering a coarse phrase under his breath.
Wu Wang and Ling Xiaolan, as well as Miao Cuijiao and the second disciple of the Annihilation Sect behind them, all turned to look in the direction Ji Mo was staring.
There, a figure sat on a bamboo chair, which was carried by four maidens with identical looks and similar figures. On both sides, maidens in white robes carried plums and swords. A breeze fluttered by. The man on the bamboo chair had long hair that danced with his ribbon. His slightly grim, handsome face revealed a faint smile, and his voice, though clear, carried an unmistakably mocking tone.
"Huh, Young Master Ji, how come you’re returning empty-handed this time?"
It was Lin Qi of the Lin Family, one of the three victors from this event.
Wu Wang frowned slightly. This overly flamboyant fellow is quite arrogant, showing up here so brazenly. Isn’t he afraid of being targeted by the Ten Evils Hall?
A folding fan appeared in Ji Mo’s hand, which he opened calmly and said with a laugh, "Young Master Lin is, after all, a good decade older than I and apparently has not wasted his years. Being able to win the third trial with Ascending Immortal Realm cultivation and thirty-six immortal treasures is truly impressive."
Lin Qi narrowed his eyes slightly and made a small gesture. The four maidens slowly set down the bamboo chair. Dozens of points of Immortal Light flew out from the sleeves of the four maidens, each transforming into an Immortal Sword, hovering around Lin Qi. With a flick of his finger, these swords immediately glowed with a layer of flame.
Around them, many cultivators had stopped to watch but kept a great distance. The Ji and Lin Families were both prominent Military Families from the frontier. Ordinary sects would not dare provoke them, and even major sects had to give way.
Lin Qi sneered, "Although after receiving the Yan Emperor’s Order, one should hide and focus on Cultivation, I’ve thought it over and cannot let go of my discontent. I’ve come especially to seek Young Master Ji and show off. Look, how is this Dao of Fire? Young Master Ji, why don’t we continue our dispute from past years? This is a perfect place with so many fellow cultivators around. We can settle our differences and put an end to this grudge. After all, in the future, I really shouldn’t have to associate with mediocrity such as yours."
These words from Lin Qi not only made Ji Mo extremely angry but also upset many young cultivators in the area. Despite his frustration, Ji Mo did not accept the challenge immediately but stared at Lin Qi, constantly contemplating a strategy.
Ji Mo knew he couldn’t win a fight. His opponent not only possessed the power of the Ascending Immortal Realm but also had many treasures and duel skills honed through sparring with numerous masters. Emerging victorious from a melee of a thousand men was proof enough of his strength. Being mocked and derided by Lin Qi indeed meant a loss of face and dishonor for the Ji Family. But if he lost to Lin Qi in front of so many masters from the Human Domain, even in front of the Human Emperor himself, it would be an indescribable humiliation for the Ji Family.
Ji Mo clenched his fists secretly yet managed to force an awkward smile, saying, "Congratulations to Young Master Lin."
With that, he turned to leave.
"Hey, Brother Ji?"
Suddenly, a light call was heard. Ji Mo tensely looked towards Wu Wang, wanting to remind Wu Wang not to intervene at this moment. But before Ji Mo could speak, he saw the smile in Wu Wang’s eyes.
Then he heard Wu Wang ask, "Where did you make an enemy of this fellow? A brothel? Could it be that he resented Brother Ji after failing to win the favor of the top courtesan?"
The two exchanged looks. Ji Mo curled the corner of his mouth, raised his voice with a chuckle, and said, "Brother Wuwang, you flatter him. With his legs that can’t leave a chair and needing to be carried everywhere, admiring flowers at a brothel? He’d just be laughed at by the girls."
Wu Wang sized up Lin Qi and said with a laugh, "Don’t say that. I think his physique is quite robust, just that his Yin energy is a bit strong. But doesn’t cultivating the Dao of Fire with the Yan Emperor’s Order require stronger Yang energy?"
Ling Xiaolan said indifferently, "The Dao of Fire is also divided into Yin and Yang."
Ji Mo couldn’t help but laugh out loud, and many around them—including Fairy Immortals, male immortals, gentlemen, and old women—showed smiles.
At this moment, masters from both the Ji Family and the Lin Family made their presence known, but since the younger generation was in conflict, stepping in directly would mean they had lost this round, so they were only competing in secret.
Lin Qi’s face was as gloomy as water as he fixated on Ji Mo, as well as Wu Wang and Ling Xiaolan beside him, and said coldly, "Ji Mo, you truly can’t change your habit of relying on women to fight your battles. When exactly is Fairy Ling going to marry into the Ji Family?"
Ling Xiaolan said indifferently, "You will surely not live to see that day."
"Ah, Fairy, you shouldn’t speak so definitively." Wu Wang laughed and said, "Nothing in life is absolute. What if this Young Master Lin intends to help out, pulls a knife to his neck right now, and threatens you two to marry on the spot, otherwise he’ll die in front of you? What then?"
Ji Mo was a bit unable to follow his train of thought.
But Ling Xiaolan couldn’t help but raise her hand to her forehead and sighed, "Such behavior from Young Master Lin has nothing to do with me. It’s just a pity that the Human Domain is short one holder of the Yan Emperor’s Order. Actually, the Dao of Yin Fire isn’t too bad either."
"We mustn’t speak so lightly of the Yan Emperor’s Order," said Wu Wang seriously. "After all, it is the Great Dao passed down by the Human Emperor. The misdeeds of the holder of the Yan Emperor’s Order should not be attributed to the Dao of Fire itself."
Ling Xiaolan nodded slightly and also said, "Exactly. The Dao rules are innocent; it’s merely that those who cultivate it develop their own preferences."
"Enough!" Lin Qi’s forehead was dark with frustration. He took a deep breath to suppress his anger and said coldly, "Fairy Ling, and you, nameless fellow, today I shall engage you both in a Duel and show you my true strength!"
Wu Wang wondered aloud, "Isn’t this your grudge with Brother Ji?"
"All three of you, come at once!" The Immortal Swords around Lin Qi trembled intensely. He gritted his teeth and cursed, "I will definitely show mercy, so as not to injure you too badly..."
"Could this be some kind of scheme?" Wu Wang clicked his tongue in astonishment. "You are a young master of the Lin Family, a holder of the Yan Emperor’s Order; your status is too prestigious. As for me, I’m just the Sect Master of a Demonic Sect, ranked seventy-sixth—very ordinary, with no special talents. And Brother Ji doesn’t hold the Yan Emperor’s Order either. If we wound you, and you turn around afterwards claiming that we intentionally plotted against a successor of the Human Emperor, what should we do then?"
Lin Qi’s eyes were filled with sharpness. "What do you suggest?"
"You write a pledge."
"Good!" Lin Qi waved his hand, pulling out a piece of fabric from his sleeve. He wrote a long paragraph in the air and signed his name.
The fabric flew over. Ji Mo stepped forward and quickly wrote his own name.
Ji Mo looked at the writing before him and exhaled softly, determination filling his eyes as he said in a low voice, "Brother Wuwang, Fairy Ling, let me handle this battle on my own..."
WHOOSH! SWISH!
Two figures suddenly sprang out from behind Ji Mo, one to the left and one to the right, gliding close to the ground at high speed as they charged straight towards Lin Qi.
A hint of a cold smile appeared at the corner of Lin Qi’s mouth. His eyes shone with Immortal Light, and the thirty-six Immortal Swords vibrated in unison, his gaze firmly locked on Ling Xiaolan.
Wu Wang, who was rushing forward, slowed for half a second. Then, his face suddenly filled with terror as he looked behind Lin Qi and shouted, "An ambush from the Ten Evils Hall!"
Lin Qi abruptly rose and looked behind him, but his extended Spiritual Sense detected nothing unusual. The sea of clouds behind him was calm, with no sign of a duel unfolding.
At that very moment!
Ling Xiaolan’s scabbard came smashing down. Wu Wang’s eyes flashed with purple light; his Divine Thought condensed into a cudgel, clinging to her scabbard. They overlapped almost perfectly, striking the back of Lin Qi’s head with the speed of lightning, attacking nearly simultaneously.
Lin Qi’s body burst into Immortal Light, blocking Ling Xiaolan’s scabbard. But in the next moment, Lin Qi grunted; his head spun, and his Nascent Soul trembled continuously, leaving him momentarily stupefied.
A direct assault of Divine Thought! Even a higher-level Immortal, if not observing carefully, would be unable to discern what had happened.
It was this moment of delay that allowed Ling Xiaolan to press down with her hand, pinning a massive "Seal" character on top of Lin Qi’s head. Wu Wang also arrived, his foot crashing down on Lin Qi’s chest—a pure, unadorned Divine Thought smashed mercilessly onto Lin Qi’s now utterly defenseless Nascent Soul.
CLATTER CLATTER CLATTER—
The thirty-six Immortal Swords instantly scattered on the ground.
The six maidens wanted to rush forward to rescue him, but they were pushed back by lotus flowers flung by Ling Xiaolan.
Ji Mo watched this scene in a daze, watching Wu Wang’s large feet kicking without respite, watching Ling Xiaolan with her brows knitted, her feet wrapped in Mana half a foot thick, continuing to stomp towards the mouth of the person on the ground... For some reason, Ji Mo felt his eyes tearing up. Wiping away tears with his sleeve, he roared and charged forward.
The three of them began a frenzied bout of punching and kicking, smashing the bamboo chair to pieces. The handsome man in white, covering his head and curling his legs, had no chance to fight back.
What was most galling was the banter mixed in with their punches and kicks.
Ling Xiaolan spoke with a clear and cold voice, "I’ve never seen such an arrogant Ascending Immortal Realm cultivator. He’s much easier to topple than a ferocious beast."
Ji Mo let out roars of anger, "That’s for your scheming! For sending people to frame others! For defiling so many women! What do you take women for? Pah! Coward!"
"Everyone, watch closely!" While kicking, Wu Wang still remembered to salute the onlookers. "It was this Young Master Lin who asked the three of us to attack him together. In all my years of Cultivation, I have never heard such an absurd request."
A dozen experts from the Lin Family witnessed this and immediately tensed, wanting to step forward. However, they were blocked by a crowd of women from the Ji Family. If not for a swarm of Golden Armor Immortal Soldiers rushing over, the two families might have already come to blows.
The various Immortals present found it hard to watch. Several Fairy Immortals muttered that it was too violent, yet they couldn’t take their eyes off the scene.
A moment later, Wu Wang looked down at the pig-headed man on the ground, his face battered beyond recognition but his life force not much diminished, and calmly stopped Ji Mo.
"Brother Ji, that’s enough, enough. Continuing like this is not conducive to the unity of the Human Domain."
Ji Mo immediately stopped, panting and grinning at Wu Wang with bared teeth. He glanced at the members of the Lin Family and shouted, "I’m the one who beat up your young master! If you have an issue, come find me at the Ji Family!"
Ling Xiaolan transmitted her voice, "But what if this guy seeks revenge on Brother Wuwang? Isn’t he extremely petty? Brother Wuwang is relatively isolated and might find it difficult to respond."
Ji Mo, concerned, looked at Wu Wang with a fierce glint in his eyes. A small purple hammer appeared in his hand; he was about to finish the feud that day and crush his nemesis right there. This made the group of old Immortals secretly watching break out in a cold sweat.
"Brother Ji, no need to worry," Wu Wang assured with a confident smile, transmitting his voice. "Just hit him, just kick him. As long as his foundation of Cultivation is not harmed, someone will help us clean up the mess."
As soon as his voice fell, a shout came from the nearby great hall:
"No more of this outrageous behavior in the Main Hall of the Benevolent Emperor Pavilion! Take all four troublemakers back to the pavilion for detention!"
Wu Wang and Ji Mo exchanged glances and laughed heartily.
Without needing Wu Wang’s reminder, Ji Mo immediately sent a message to his aunts, telling them to send someone to protect the Annihilation Sect.
Ling Xiaolan, however, frowned slightly and complained calmly, "I’m going to get scolded by my master again."
The two Transcendent experts from the Tianyan Xuan Nu Sect standing at the entrance each offered Ling Xiaolan a gentle smile, signaling that she needn’t worry. One old crone even mimicked the thumbs-up gesture Wu Wang had made earlier, secretly giving it from within her sleeve.
Suddenly, a long cry came from a distance, and two Liu Guang, one red and one silver, sped towards them.
The Grand Elder roared, "Who dares to insult our Sect Master!"
Before his words even settled, the two were immediately encircled by a group of Golden Armor Immortal Soldiers, and their fierce demeanor weakened by a great margin.