"I was not going to mess myself!" Dreth snapped, jiggled his shoulder in a vain attempt to shake the pest off.

    The devil shrugged, unperturbed. "Well, it''s time to wake up, or whatever you want to call it. Your undead friends have been busy for a while now, cooking breakfast would you believe?" It shook its head in wonder. "Times have surely changed since I was last up here."

    Dreth looked over, to see that it was telling the truth. Cuthbert was busy roasting some kind of meat over a campfire. The zombie saw him looking and waved.

    "Been a long time since I cooked something," he said cheerfully. "I thought the living might like breakfast." He gestured at the Halfling, still asleep with a rope tied around his ankle, then the entwined forms of Tybalt and Emerald, huddled together in their sleeping mats. As if that was a signal, Tybalt woke up with a jerk. "Breakfast is nearly done," Cuthbert called over to him.

    Dreth stood up and scanned the terrain. They had made good progress the previous day, escaping from the hills and entering another region of woodland, encountering no one on the way. Eventually the living had complained they needed a rest, so the group had stopped for the night.

    Tybalt staggered into the bushes to perform his morning toiletries, waking Emerald in the process, who stretched, catlike.

    "Had a good night did you?" Percy asked from where he was sitting near the campfire, polishing his leg. "It''s been a long time, so I might have forgotten, but it certainly sounded good." He grinned, which wasn''t a sight you really wanted to see first thing in the morning.

    "Abracadabra!" With a jolt Frumble awoke, sitting bolt upright, arms outstretched.

    "Ah, the magic user''s awake," said Percy.

    Dreth strode over to the Halfling, who was rubbing his eyes and yawning. The mage looked up at him and flinched.

    "What?" he asked. "Can''t a person have five minutes to wake up without the undead pestering him?"

    "I''m being extremely kind here wizard," said Dreth, ignoring his protest, "and that goes against my nature. I want a way of getting this thing," he pointed at his shoulder, "off me as soon as possible, or it''s going to go badly for you."

    "Ooh, that''s not very nice," said the devil. "Thing indeed. How would you like it if I called you stick man? Oh wait, I already did."

    Dreth clenched his fists. "Wizard!"

    "Okay okay, it''s top of my list." The Halfling looked uncomfortable. "Well, once I''ve relieved myself that is."

    "You''re not going anywhere on your own," said Dreth. He looked around and gestured at Sprat, who was running around a large tree. "Sput! Get over here and look after the mage. You two should get on well, you''re about the same size."

    After giving Sprat instructions, Dreth walked over to the campfire, where Tybalt and Emerald were sitting down eating the breakfast Cuthbert had cooked.

    "Fancy a bite?" asked the zombie as he approached.

    Dreth ignored the offer and spoke to Tybalt. "You''re a local," he said. "Do you know the way to this Hermit of Farsii? He lives on the far side of Real City."

    Tybalt chewed his meat and frowned. As he thought Frumble staggered over and joined them. Cuthbert handed him some food.

    "I haven''t heard of the Hermit," said Tybalt, "but I know of Real city. It''s not the nicest of places. The ruler there is Harold the Hedonistic, a twisted despot with strange personal habits. I would steer clear of the place given a choice in the matter. If the hills are on the far side of it, the only ways around are by crossing the Sparklyblue sea or through the Steaming swamps, a dark place indeed, where people disappear mysteriously all the time."

    "Sound like a cool place," said Percy. "Let''s go there!"

    "I could pick up some supplies in Real though," said Frumble. "I may need some items if I''m to undo the spell."

    "A city! A real city! We should go there," said the devil. "Think of all the victims!"

    "We''re not here to enjoy ourselves," admonished Dreth.

    "Tell me about it," muttered Percy.

    "Hey! What is this meat anyway?" asked Emerald, picking her teeth. "Did you go hunting in the night?"

    "What? Oh no," said Cuthbert. "I just cut a couple of choice parts from your friend before we left yesterday."

    "What!!!??" Tybalt gagged. "This is Adel?"

    "Parts of her, yes. No sense letting good meat go to waste now is there? Do you want another portion?"

    There was no response other than the sound of three people vomiting.

    "There''s gratitude for you," complained the zombie. "I slave over a hot fire to make a nutritious breakfast and this is the response." He crossed his arms. "Last time I do anything nice I''ll tell you."

    "You foul monster!" Tybalt wiped his mouth and reached for his sword, stopping abruptly as Dreth placed a hand on his shoulder.

    "I would be annoyed if you hurt my friend," he said.

    The devil jumped to the ground and dipped a finger in a pool of vomit. He licked it. "Mmm, fragrant."

    Dreth ignored the renewed bout of retching and heaved a sigh. "This city is looking more attractive all the time. Anything to get rid of you devil."

    The small red figure laughed and watched Tybalt gagging. "Such fun," it said. "Such fun."

    ~ * ~

    Riot watched from the bushes, bow in hand, as the giant horse moved slowly along the path. The rider, a man large enough to warrant such a steed, appeared to be looking for something. Tracks maybe.

    He reached the scene of the battle, if such a slaughter could be credited with the name, and stopped. After a short moment examining the remains from horseback, he lifted one leg over the saddle and smoothly slid off his mount, landing with the grace of a mountain lion.

    Riot clenched her teeth as he moved over to the remains of first Bug, and then Flame. The body of the ranger seemed to interest him, and he knelt down to examine it. Was he going to rob the corpse? A warrior with such fine robes would surely hardly stoop to such an act. Riot scowled. She wasn''t going to stand by whilst the body of her dead comrade was desecrated! Holding her breath, she raised her bow, drew, aimed, and then loosed the shaft in one fluid action.

    As she watched the figure stood up and looked in her direction. Eyes hidden behind an ornate helm seemed to burn through the undergrowth, and she could see him slowly smile, revealing perfect white teeth.

    "You can make this easy or hard," she heard him call out. His voice was deep, rich and smooth, like the very darkest of chocolate. Arrogant too. He didn''t even draw his blade.

    "Come come now. I can see you. Stand up and things will go more pleasantly, or at least faster, which in your case will be the same thing."

    Trembling, Riot stood up.

    The man''s smile grew even wider as he saw her. "Well well well. What do we have here? A young want to be ?ssassin." He strode confidently over towards the thief. She wanted to flee, but her legs seemed to be rooted to the spot.

    He stood over her, his muscular form dwarfing her petite one. "Such a pretty ?ssassin too," he said. Reaching up, he removed the helmet, to reveal a rugged, handsome face. Intelligent brown eyes examined her, scanning her from head to foot. "And why would you want to attack me my dear? Mmm? I have no interest in any loot from the dead here. Such trifles are below me. Help yourself if that''s what you''re here for."

    "Th…they''re my friends. Were I mean. My friends." Riot mentally cursed herself. What was she doing? Behaving like a foolish teenage girl on her first date!

    "Indeed? In that case maybe you can help me. I''m looking for the ones who did this. A tall thin man with a couple of zombies, and a woman with black and white hair, yes?"

    Riot nodded. "And the other woman too. An elf, or half elf. Older. The body was there before, it must have been moved."

    "An older half elf you say? Adel." The man frowned. "She''s dead? Damn."

    "You knew her?" Riot decided not to let him know she was the only one they''d managed to kill.

    "Only in passing. Still, if she was helping Dreth…"

    "Dreth! That''s him! He was the one with the black sword."

    "Yes. Wait. How do you know?" The man''s eyes narrowed.

    "He was on the poster."

    "What? What poster?" He seemed angry now.

    "You aren''t after the reward too?" Riot took a step backwards.

    "What reward? Show me this poster!" He thrust a gauntleted hand out, palm up.

    "I…I don''t have it. Please!" She cowered as his expression darkened and he reached out for her.

    "No." He paused and took a deep breath, drawing back suddenly. "I shall spare you, for I find you pleasing to the eye, and who knows? You may be of use, one way or the other."

    "Who…who are you?"

    The man smiled. Not a pretty sight, despite his good looks. "Me? I am someone from your deepest nightmares. Someone who holds true power over life and death, and dispenses such as I see fit. I am the scourge of all that is Good. The slayer of heroes. My name is… Veronica the Violator. Anti-Paladin of the Darkest Degree." He bowed mockingly. "At your service."

    Riot put her hand to her mouth. Despite a vague suicidal urge to laugh at his dramatics, she had heard of his reputation. It was all he had said, and more. She didn''t laugh.

    The Violator raised an eyebrow. "I see you have heard of me. Good. And what do they call you, my pretty little thief?"

    "I am Riot. Daughter of Havoc the Unholy, of Real." She held her head up as she said her father''s name.

    "Havoc? You are his daughter?" He was surprised. "I know of him." Then he paused. "It seems my quarry, the killer of your friends, is heading towards that city. Despite my reputation, and the one of Real, I''ve only visited the place in passing. I could use a guide. Maybe you could fulfil this function?" He looked her over again. "Maybe we''ll think of some ways to amuse ourselves on the journey too." He leaned forward and traced a line down her chin with the arrow he''d caught. "What do you say my little friend?"

    Riot whimpered.