CHAPTER 19: POISON AND PRIDE 1

CIAN

The first thing I was aware of was pain. Not the sharp kind that meant something was broken. This was deeper. Duller. Like my entire body had been wrung out and left to dry in the sun. My throat felt like I’d swallowed gravel and ash.

I opened my eyes.

White ceiling. Fluorescent lights. The sterile smell of a healing ward that meant nothing good. My body was bandaged from neck to wrist, and whatever they’d slathered under the wrappings smelled like burnt herbs and bad decisions.

I tried to sit up. Immediately regretted it. Every muscle screamed. I fell back against the pillows hard enough to jar something loose in my chest, and I coughed. I even tasted blood.

"Easy, Alpha." That was Dr. Maren’s voice. She appeared in my line of sight, moving fast. "You need to stay still."

"What happened?" The words came out scraped raw.

"You nearly died." Thorne stepped into view next. The old healer looked like he hadn’t slept in days. His robes were stained. His gray hair stuck up at odd angles. "The mourning moon toxin was in your system for a significant time. Longer than hers."

Hers. The word triggered something. A memory of white fabric. Of purple flowers. Of carrying something that weighed almost nothing and felt like everything.

I turned my head. There was another bed next to mine. For a moment I thought she was there, but the bed was empty. Just rumpled sheets and the faint smell of herbal oils.

Then I saw her.

She stood near the foot of my bed, far enough away that I couldn’t touch her if I tried. Which I wouldn’t. Far enough away that she could run if she needed to. Her clothes still looked fresh, but she wore them like they didn’t belong to her. Her eyes had that hollow look that came from exhaustion. From nearly dying. From whatever she’d done to herself in that forest.

She looked at me like she was waiting for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

"How long was I unconscious?" I kept my voice flat. Clinical. The way an Alpha spoke when his pack was watching and his weaknesses didn’t matter or need to show.

"A little over six hours," Maren said. "Your fever broke about some minutes ago. We weren’t entirely sure you were going to make it."

That landed like a punch. I’d nearly died. The thought was strange. I’d been trained my entire life to be too dangerous to kill. Too valuable to lose. And yet here I was, poisoned and helpless and dependent on healers and the goddess’s good humor.

"I feel horrible." The admission cost me something. Alphas didn’t complain about pain. But this wasn’t complaining. It was just stating fact.

"The known antidote didn’t work on you," Thorne said to me. His voice had that edge to it. The one he used when he was disappointed in someone. "Not with the concentration in your system. The toxin was building too fast. It was the fault of one person anyway."

I looked at the old healer. Saw something in his expression that made my stomach turn over. He was looking at Fia. Not angry exactly. But not friendly either.

"But she concocted something," Maren intercepted. Her tone had changed. It had weight to it now. The kind of weight that meant respect. "An herbal remedy using wolfsbane and nettle. It counteracted the toxin that the standard antidote couldn’t touch."

Fia? She’d done something? To help me? The realization pulled at me through the fog. She’d been conscious enough to do something while I was burning up and dying.

"I’m surprised Silver Creek has medical talent like her," Maren continued. She was looking at Fia now with the kind of interest she usually reserved for new research subjects. "It was fascinating to learn something new. She saved your life and for that, we should be grateful."

Fia didn’t answer. She was watching me like I might explode.

I faced her fully. The movement cost me. Pain shot through my shoulders and down my spine, but I pushed through it.

"Have you anything to say?" The question came out hard. Demanding.

"Like what?" She didn’t look away but her hands curled into fists at her sides.

"You put me in this state on the day that is supposed to be the happiest of my life." The words spilled out before I could stop them. Before I remembered that anger and poison didn’t mix well. "Everything was planned. Everything was perfect. And then you destroyed it."

"You believed lies against me. You said all those horrible shit and made all those horrible demands, expecting that I just take it and you abandoned me on grounds I know nothing about..." Her voice was low but steady. "...Knowing you had potent poison around. You threw me out of a car in the middle of nowhere and drove away."

"And you left like a fool!" I raised my voice and immediately coughed blood into my hand. The taste was copper and broken plans.

She moved toward me. I saw it. Saw her take a step forward like she was going to help me. Then she caught herself and stopped. Pulled back like the very idea of touching me was repulsive.

"You should control yourself." Her voice was carefully neutral. "I battled poison with poison and you need to rest to stabilize your body."

I was about to ask what the hell she thought she was doing playing healer when the door exploded open. Ronan came through first. My Beta. His face was all rage and protective fury, the way it got when he thought the pack was under threat. Behind him came more sentinels. A whole crowd of them. Enough to fill the small space and make the air feel tight.

"Is it true?" Ronan’s voice was a growl. "Is it true that she nearly killed you?"

"I’m fine." The lie tasted like the blood still in my mouth.

Thorne didn’t let me finish. He turned to face Ronan and launched into the whole story. How I’d been poisoned. How the antidote didn’t work. How I nearly died. With every word he spoke, he managed to make it sound like it was her fault. Like she’d walked into the flowers on purpose. Like she’d done it to hurt me.

Ronan’s face went dark. He looked at Fia like she was vermin. Like she was something he’d found under his boot.

"You vile woman." His voice was barely controlled. "Do you understand what you’ve done? Our Alpha was poisoned on his wedding day because of your stupidity. Because you couldn’t follow a single direction. You trapped him into this bond, nearly got him killed shortly after bringing shame to all of Skollrend. How could we ever accept you as our pack’s Luna?"

Fia didn’t move. Didn’t react. Just stood there and took it.

Then she whispered. "I do not want to be anybody’s Luna. I want to go home."