CHAPTER 134: KINDRED SPIRITS

Shade’s amused, nonchalant expression vanished, replaced by a look of cold disbelief. "That’s a stupid dream. Why would a weapon apologize to me?"

Eirin bit her lower lip, her mind a frantic, disorganized chaos of emotions and secrets. ’That’s what I want to know!’ she thought, a silent desperate scream in her head, trying to keep herself sane, trying to make sense of the terrifying mystery that was now a part of her life.

"Well, you see, she told me that she was at fault for... you know, what happened to your ancestors. She told me to apologize on her behalf."

The words, once spoken, hung in the air, a thick, palpable tension that was suffocating. Those words made Shade freeze, his body a statue of cold, still shock, and seeing that scared Eirin. She doesn’t even know who Shade’s ancestors were, but she learned it from Nirvana herself, that she had done something terrible that it had left an indelible mark on his family.

"Remember when I told you that I’m neither human nor a demon?" Shade asked, his voice a low, raspy whisper, a sound filled with pain.

Eirin gulped, the memory of that day, that moment of vulnerability, a sharp, clear memory in her mind. She nodded gently, her eyes never leaving his.

"It’s because I was born to a human father and a Pæan mother." The words were spoken so softly, so gentle, as if they were a fragile, precious thing.

Eirin blinked lots of times, her mind struggling to comprehend the revelation. Hearing the young man talk about himself like that, about his family, was something she had never expected to happen in her life. She had always seen him as a simple, arrogant boy, a brute with immense power. But now, she was seeing him as a person, a person with a family, with a past that he couldn’t escape from.

"Pæan? What is that?" The name, a strange, beautiful sound, was new to her.

Shade rested his head on Eirin’s bed, his dark eyes a distant light. "Oh, right. You wouldn’t know," he said. "They call them demons now. The humans, I mean. They call my people, my mother’s people, demons." His voice was muffled, a soft, heartbroken sound, but Eirin could hear everything, every word, every ounce of gut-wrenching pain.

It was as if Eirin could feel the hurt, a raw, aching sorrow, emitting from Shade that her hand moved on its own, a simple, instinctive act of compassion, patting the young man’s head, her fingers gently running through his soft, dark hair.

Shade grabbed Eirin’s hand, his fingers a warm, comforting grip, and looked at her with a smile that was a strange, heart-wrenching mix of pain and a deep, aching hope. "Do you pity me, Luxfield?"

Eirin immediately shook her head, a fast, decisive motion, afraid that it might offend the young man, but instead, he pouted. His lips, a soft, perfect line, jutted out in a childlike, adorable and heartbreaking pout. ’Is he... pouting!?’ she thought in disbelief, her mind a flustered, confused mess. ’The all-powerful, arrogant Shade Cromwell... pouting? This is a dream. This has to be a dream.’

"I hate it when people pity me, but if it’s you... I kind of... don’t mind. No, I might actually like it," Shade said, his voice a low, soft murmur, still holding Eirin’s hand as he rested his left cheek on the bed, facing Eirin, his dark eyes fixed on hers with an unwavering gaze. "I don’t hate it when you’re giving me attention. In fact, I kind of crave it."

Eirin felt something fluttering in her stomach, a strange warmth that was a mix of butterflies and dizzying vertigo. The sensation, so new and so powerful, instantly made her pull her arm back, her fingers a frantic, nervous mess. "W-Why do they call Pæans demons now?" She tried to change the subject, the question a desperate, flustered attempt to regain a sense of normality, a sense of control over her own emotions.

Shade got back up and rested his back on the chair’s backrest, his arms crossed over his chest, his face an angry mask of disdain. "Because humans are the shittiest living beings in this world ever. They would call other creatures names just because they couldn’t understand them. They called me a demon because I go berserk, when it’s all their fault."

Eirin tilted her head, her forehead creased in a look of genuine confusion. "Their fault? How is it their fault?"

Shade sighed, the sound a low, rumble of frustration. "Right, you wouldn’t know. The main source of miasma is humans. That wasn’t the first time you heard of that, was it?" He watched her, a sharp, knowing look in his eyes.

"Do you know how they produce miasma? Through their dark deeds and thoughts. Once they think of doing something bad, they’re already tainting the mana around them, and that’s how the miasma forms. It’s like a living, breathing corruption of the very essence of our world. And a Pæan, creatures of pure, untainted mana, go crazy when they get in contact with miasma. We lose control of our power, we become a walking disaster waiting to happen."

Eirin forehead creased, a fresh wave of understanding washing over her. "Then, do students from our academy also emit miasma? Do I emit miasma? Is that why you went berserk when you were near me? Because of my miasma?" The thought was a cold, sharp blade of fear that pierced her heart.

Shade shook his head, a soft, gentle motion. "They do. But just a little. One human cannot produce much, but ten humans could produce a lot when they are together. But with you, it’s different. Now that you asked about it, you don’t produce miasma. Not a single trace of it." He leaned forward to Eirin, his dark eyes, a bottomless abyss of sincerity and light, fixed on her.

"That reminds me, why do you not produce any miasma? When I’m with you, it’s as if you’re taking the miasma instead—"

Eirin froze, her body a statue of cold, hard shock, the truth of his words a suffocating weight in the room. She didn’t like where the conversation was going, thus she cut him off. "What about Nirvana’s apology? What do you think about it?" She tried to change the topic, her voice a small, desperate whisper, and it was effective.

Shade leaned back on the chair, his face a neutral, unreadable mask. "I don’t know. It’s not like I experienced it myself to have a reaction," Shade said, his voice a low, flat murmur, but seeing the unsatisfied reaction on Eirin’s face, seeing the aching sadness in her eyes, made him click his tongue, a soft, irritated sound. "But you see, that weapon made my mother’s life difficult. It ruined my people, destroyed our way of life."

Eirin’s expression turned grim as she stared at her fingers, her gaze a distant, thoughtful light. "Who would want to their loved ones to suffer because of that," she said, her voice a soft, sorrowful whisper. Her reaction, so genuine and so heartfelt, made Shade confused, a profound, unreadable emotion touching his dark eyes.

’What does she want me to say?’ Shade thought, his forehead creased, his mind struggling to understand the confusing emotions that were playing out on her face. "But you see, I don’t really know how to react. My mother did not resent that weapon, or the people that made that weapon, because she said if those things didn’t happen, she wouldn’t have met my father, and they wouldn’t have me." His words, so full of love and acceptance, were a testament to the kind of person his mother was, a proof of the capacity of his mother’s forgiveness.

Eirin’s expression lightened, a soft, beautiful smile touching her lips, her eyes now a warm, luminous light in the dark room. "Your mother must have loved you and your father very much."

Shade smiled after seeing Eirin’s face, a genuine, beautiful smile that reached his dark eyes. "She sure did, I guess. I don’t really remember. But I do know she loved me. What about you?"

Eirin tilted her head, she doesn’t understand what Shade meant with his question. "What about me?" Her forehead creased, her confusion a soft, gentle thing. "What do you mean by that?"

Shade stared at Eirin’s dark brown hair, a soft, wistful look in his eyes. "Don’t you have that kind of story? With your mother? Or your parents?"

Eirin smiled, a sad, heartbreaking curve of her lips, an aching sorrow touching her beautiful amber eyes. "No, not really. I didn’t meet both of my parents, at all. It was just me and my grandma. It’s always been just me and my grandma." She looked Shade in the eye, and the young man noticed the hidden sadness in her eyes, a deep sorrow that was a mirror of his own.

In that moment, in that quiet, intimate room, they were not a human and a Pæan, not a boy and a girl, but two kindred spirits, two broken, lonely souls, who, for the first time in their lives, had found a beautiful connection in their shared pain.