CHAPTER 135: OUT OF CHARACTER

Silence, a thick, palpable presence, descended upon them, a quiet that was so great it felt as if it could swallow them whole. Eirin, her body a tight, coiled spring of nerves, could feel the awkwardness filling through her, a cold, suffocating weight that she wanted to break. She didn’t want to make the atmosphere sad, didn’t want to dwell in the aching sorrow of their shared past.

"B-But you know, even if it was just my grandma and me, I met my friends there, Ava and Bright. And now I also met Coleen and the others. I’m not... I’m not alone anymore."

The words, though true, felt like a desperate, flimsy barrier against the truth of her heartbreaking loneliness.

Shade smiled, a soft, tender curve of his lips, a look in his eyes that was so gentle it made Eirin’s heart ache with a strange, beautiful emotion.

"I’ll be your friend, too. If you’ll have me."

The words, so simple and so sincere, made Eirin chuckle, a soft, bubbling sound of disbelieving amusement, as if it was so ridiculous she couldn’t believe her ears at all.

"Are you sure you’re Shade Cromwell? Or am I really awake right now? Maybe I’m still asleep, and this is just another part of my consciousness, a dream."

The thought, so bizarre and compelling, caused her to slap her arm, a sharp, stinging blow, an attempt to wake herself up from the beautiful dream she was living in. But before she could do it again, before she could hurt herself, Shade immediately grabbed her arm, his fingers a warm, strong, comforting grip that stopped her from continuing.

"Stop it. You can just slap me, but don’t hurt yourself."

Eirin blinked lots of times, her mind a flustered, confused mess, her body a tight line of tension, her cheeks now a fiery red. She could feel her whole body heating up, a dizzying vertigo washing over her from the sheer intimacy of the moment. Her eyes met Shade’s, his dark gaze a bottomless abyss of light and shadow, and they looked at each other, as if the time had stopped and it was only the two of them, a silent moment in the heart of a sterile, white room.

That was until a loud, violent thunder struck the near tree out of Eirin’s window, the sound a deafening, terrifying boom that shattered the quiet, intimate moment. The flash of lightning, a bright, blinding streak of white, caused Eirin to jump, a soft gasp of fear escaping her lips as she cowered, her hands a frantic, nervous mess as she held onto Shade’s arm, her fingers gripping his arm with a desperate, white-knuckled intensity.

"Did that surprise you?"

Shade asked, a soft, amused smile touching his lips, his voice a low, reassuring rumble.

Eirin, embarrassed by her display of fear, nodded, her head a small, bobbing motion. She tried to regain her composure, her body a tight, tense thing, as she cleared her throat, a small, quiet sound, but then a continuous loud thunder and lightning flashed outside, a violent, terrifying storm that raged against the quiet of the night. Eirin’s composure completely shattered, she let out a small, terrified whimper, her hands covering both of her ears as she curled her body into a small, fetal position.

"Are you okay?"

Eirin could hear Shade’s worried voice, but she couldn’t look up, couldn’t move. The loud, terrifying sound outside kept her curled up like that, her body trembling in fear as her breathing grew heavier, her lungs a frantic, painful rhythm.

"Hey."

Shade held Eirin’s arm with a gentle, reassuring motion, his fingers a warm, comforting grip, and he gently, carefully, made her look at him, her eyes wide with terror. For the first time in his life, Shade didn’t know what to do. He had no experience when it came to comforting people, had no experience with fear that was not his own. His heart ached, a strange, beautiful pain, at the sight of her, so small and so terrified, and he didn’t know how to fix it, how to make the pain go away.

"Are you afraid of thunder?"

Eirin let out a nervous chuckle, a small, broken sound that was filled with deep embarrassment. "K-Kind of," she stuttered, her voice a small, terrified whisper, trying to lessen the embarrassment, but she was already exposed. Her childlike fear was out in the open, a vulnerable thing that he could now see, now know.

"Do you want me to hug you?"

Eirin slowly looked up, baffled if she heard it correctly, her beautiful amber eyes wide with a mixture of shock and disbelief.

"Would you do it for me? Would you, really? I’ll take it if you’re willing."

"I know, right? Crazy. I don’t even know why I—wait, what?"

The words, so full of his old, self-deprecating humor, died in his throat, and he was left in a state of flustered shock.

Shade’s ears were a fiery red, the color of a ripe cherry, as his eyes widened, his gaze fixed on Eirin in front of him, a girl who was so small, so terrified, and so beautiful.

"Do you want me to?" he asked again, his voice a low, gentle rumble, his body a tight, tense thing, a silent offer of comfort and safety.

Another set of thunder struck near them, a loud, violent boom that rattled the windowpanes, causing Eirin to cower in fear, her body trembling as fresh, hot tears welled in her eyes, a river of fear. The sound was so loud, so violent, that it was as if it brought a physical shock through Eirin’s body itself, a deep, primal fear that was now a part of her very being.

"I... I just..."

Eirin couldn’t complete her sentence, her voice a soft, broken whisper, a mixture of embarrassment and fear. She couldn’t believe how she was about to accept Shade’s joking remarks, just because she was afraid of the storm, afraid of thunder.

"I-I’m sorry. I was just so used to being hugged by my grandmother whenever there’s a thunderstorm which made me—uh, you know, accept your offer. Even though you were probably joking. I’m just... really scared of thunder."

Eirin made up the excuse, a frantic, disorganized torrent of words, trying to make him understand, to make him learn that it wasn’t because Eirin wanted to hug him perse, but because she was only afraid of being alone.

Shade, a soft, gentle, and uncharacteristic smile on his face, covered his mouth with his hand, hiding the soft, beautiful smile forming on his face as he watched Eirin make up the excuse while the tips of his ears were red. He was not a man of words, but his face, his actions, were almost telling Eirin everything about how he feels for her.

"You don’t have to worry, Luxfield. I would help you, if you want. That’s what friends are for."

Eirin’s forehead creased, a genuine confusion on her face. "I remember you saying you didn’t want to be my friend."

"People change. I guess I am not an exception."

Shade’s smile, a beautiful and sincere expression, caused Eirin to smile as well, a small, genuine curve of her lips that reached her stunning, amber eyes. However, their conversation was interrupted by the loud, violent boom of thunder outside, and then the rain started pouring, a soft, steady rhythm against the windowpane, a gentle soothing sound that was a stark contrast to the violent thunder.

"Here, I’ll just hold your hand and wait for you to fall asleep. It’s what my mother used to do for me when I was a child. It always worked."

Shade, with a gentle, reassuring motion, held Eirin’s hand, his fingers a warm, comforting grip, as he tucked her in, pulling the soft, white blanket up to her chin, as she lay on the bed, her body a small, trembling thing. Eirin’s forehead crease, a look of disbelief on her face as she could feel a strange sense of disappointment filling her heart.

’Wait, what? Why am I disappointed?’ the teenage girl thought.

Shade stared at Eirin’s hand that he was holding with his bare hand. He wondered how long has it been for him to touch someone else’s hand without wearing his gloves, without the fear of losing control. Just the thought of it gave him bliss.

But it wasn’t the same for Eirin. The moment another loud, violent thunder struck, a deafening boom that rattled her very bones, she couldn’t hold it anymore. The fear was too much, and she, with a sudden, desperate motion, pulled Shade by his collar, her small, trembling body pulling his large, strong one closer to her, his face just inches from hers.

"Hold me, please!"

Shade’s eyes widened, shock on his face, his cheeks a fiery red as his breathing grew heavier, a low, frantic rhythm against the quiet of the room. He could feel Eirin’s breath on his cheeks, her warm, soft breath, an intimate touch, as she faced him with a desperate, pleading expression on her face.

"Y-You! You better not say that kind of thing to other men, or they’ll misunderstand."

Eirin, her mind now a foggy, disorganized mess of emotions, immediately got up from lying.

"I can’t even endure being touched by other men so why would I—" she realized that her words could be misunderstood. "I-I mean—I don’t really touch other people."

Shade, his face a neutral, unreadable mask, ignored the words as he pulled the blanket to cover himself as well.

"To be honest, I hate lying on the bed with the outside clothes I wore, and that goes with other people lying on my bed with their outside clothes," Eirin said.

Shade frowned. "Am I the one asking the favor, or is it you?"

Eirin didn’t say anything else after that. She just snuggled into his huge, strong arms, her body a small, warm, comforting weight against his. The sudden, intimate gesture caused the young man to blush, a deep red that spread from his cheeks to his neck, as he pursed his lips, trying to suppress a smile.

"Are you a cat?"

Eirin ignored Shade’s words, her head fuzzy as she could feel the sleepiness hitting her. She doesn’t understand what it was, maybe it was the medicine, but she felt a sense of comfort from Shade’s warmth, a warmth that was the complete opposite of the cold, sterile room.