CHAPTER 405: SOMEDAYS, THE SUN WILL SHINE DOWN

[TAMIKO]

"So, what... you’re giving up? Just like that?" Kosta asked in disbelief as he stared at Tamiko. He didn’t like what was happening. At the same time, the defeat in Tamiko’s voice had caught him off guard.

Since they had been mated to each other, since the moment they had met, Tamiko and Kosta had only ever fought twice, with this one being the second time. It was a streak that was just more than enough for Tamiko.

It was bad enough that they were hurting each other with their words, but the truth that sat on their tongues was a bit suffocating.

No one could tell what life would be like after this. No one understood the sects of the life they were to live, and honestly, they couldn’t be blamed for that. There was no way to get through this.

Tamiko was certain of it at the moment.

Especially when he heard his father’s footsteps in the distance.

He knew Zaffuto was not going to let him be hurt, and while he appreciated how protective his father was, Tamiko knew his father never even had to lift a finger to protect Tamiko from Kosta.

Because Kosta was never an enemy to Tamiko.

And if ever there came a day when Kosta pointed his sword at Prince Tamiko, then Tamiko wouldn’t need saving. He would be where he wanted to be, and that was a confusing yet very sincere truth.

Chaos was never going to leave him, regardless of what happened.

"I can’t fight you. Because it’s pointless, Kosta. No matter what happens, I hate it when you cry, when you hurt, when everything goes wrong for you. I thought taking our Zula and Sanji would make your life easier.

"But now I realize I’m the burden you can’t even shake. And it’s not what I wanted for us. I wanted you to be happy, and I overestimated my love for you. And that is what got us into this mess.

"Maybe if I were not arrogant and did what was needed, you and I... You wouldn’t have suffered like that. I detest that there is nothing I can do to fix it. Maybe I can apologize a thousand times over, but there isn’t much that that will do.

"I could say I’d break our connection, but I can’t. You know it too. I’m sorry I got us into this mess. Funny how I promised to keep you happy, but for the past ten years, all I ever did was cause you pain and let your tears flow.

"I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just... I’m sorry, Kosta. I know I can’t make up for the pain, but I’ll spend my whole life atoning for it all," Tamiko said honestly and desperately.

Kosta just watched in silence.

He had known the apology was coming, but it didn’t make him feel better. Instead, he realized that even he had crossed a line back then. He knew that so much had changed because of the decisions they had both made.

He had let himself be vulnerable. He had never been in such a position, and it was frustrating, too. Perhaps love would have its ups and downs, but maybe if they worked through it together, it wouldn’t be so bad, right?

There had to be a better way out of this.

Perhaps that was why life was a bit confusing for them.

"No... I’m sorry too. I knew what would happen if I chose Sanji. I was aware of the consequences, but I still made that choice anyway. Not because I wanted you, my beautiful soul. I will always want you. I will always love you.

"I will always need you. You’re everything in my life, and maybe I should have reacted better. I was just bitter and desperate for your attention. I thought you were blooming without me, and I hated it.

"Not because you were blooming, but because I wasn’t the reason for it. I know it sounds stupid now that I’m saying it, but then it is the truth. My truth. The one that I lived for months and years. I wanted to be better for you. To be deserving of you.

"I wanted you to... To want me. Maybe as an omega, because then you wouldn’t leave after you had a taste. But I forgot that you would never leave me. That you were never a liar. I was so hurt by your distance that I forgot your promise of forever.

"... and that is something I have to atone for. I hate how I got us here. It’s not what I wanted for both of us, but emotions, my beautiful... Emotions had me thinking like a demon in heat. So, forgive me... For not trusting you at my weakest.

"For being so desperate for a glance from you that I lost sight of what we were and what we were meant to be," Kosta pleaded softly as he stared into Tamiko’s eyes, his soft gaze unwavering even when it seemed like this was a lost cause for him.

Kosta didn’t want to fight, either, and his admission was proof that his vulnerability had cost him so much. Now he was back to being just as powerful as before, if not stronger, and yet his heart was still shattering against his chest.

This was a cycle of regrets and confession that would haunt him, yet he seemed not to mind it. Not anymore. Maybe because he was slowly learning their life was never going to be in black and white.

Love had been his and Tamiko’s, and they had almost lost sight of what was meant for them. Maybe it wasn’t what was needed now, but damn was it compelling to even watch in the slightest of ways.

Perhaps life was not as bad.

Perhaps this was just another phase of what could be and what couldn’t be.

Perhaps it was just never going to be about the loves they had lived along the way. Maybe that was what it would always be like for them. But surely, they were done with this, no?

"Kosta..." Tamiko trailed off desperately.

"Of course, I know you love me. Even the blind can see that without straining too much, my little love," Kosta said, his endearment obvious and his first pet name for Tamiko making the prince lift his head and look at him differently.

Maybe it was because that pet name brought back the good old days. Memories of who they had been before fate had played the roughest of cards in the middle. Of a war they had not even been the ones to start.

Maybe it was a different level of obsession, but there was no denying that at the end of the day, they would always, always belong to each other.

"Little love?" Tamiko asked in uncertainty.

He wasn’t sure if this meant that he would be back to wing alone, seeing as Kosta had once left him in bed, and it showed up soon enough, but then he wasn’t shy of all speculation at this point, then?

"I’m hoping we can start over, but because of the mark on my neck, just because I want to be with you, always. I don’t care what title there is for. Me beside you, I just want to be yours. Your krushka. Your Erasthai. Your beloved.

"Just yours and no one else’s," Kosta said as he sat beside Tamiko, closing the distance between them. They looked awkward as fuck, like some Lycan school teenagers who didn’t understand what it meant to like each other normally.

Maybe it was a stretch for them, but there was no denying that they had to start somewhere. Everyone always had to do something, regardless of what position they were in, yeah? Maybe it was what life would look like for them.

But was it so bad?

If anything, they had known each other for so long already.

"Not even Sanji’s?" Tamiko asked sheepishly, and Kosta held his face and turned to face him, his hold gently making Tamiko smile for a moment. And gods, was it the most beautiful smile Kosta had seen.

"Sanji was never a threat. He knew I would kill him if he so much as breathed desire toward me. I would ruin him. And he understood that I’d only ever belong to you. Even when we came to the palace, it was always the same.

"The only name I moaned in my sleep while he slept on the couch was yours, shamelessly so. The only one I thought of till I went nuts was you, always. The only one who meant something to me was you. Just you. And Sanji knew that from the very beginning.

"From the moment he walked in on us intentionally in my chambers. He knew what that meant, and he was never going to stand a chance. I just wanted to make you jealous, and it worked, because you came for me.

"Of course, you were a little angry, but you came for me regardless. That little gesture mattered more than when you handed me over to the old traitor, like I was a trade object. You were angry, so for me it meant you cared.

"And that was enough to sustain me for weeks, even if I missed you like crazy," Kosta said, laughing lightly like he wasn’t already losing his damn mind. But this time, he was with his Erasthai, and that was all for him.

Nothing else would matter.

"Well, now that we’re starting over, allow me to introduce myself," Tamiko said, and Kosta let out a light chuckle.

"My name is Tamiko Kaito Hinata, nice to meet you, handsome man," Tamiko chuckled.

"I’m Igor Konstantin... my beautiful."